My wife and I have been doing our show for a long time.
In the beginning, radio seemed like the perfect gig...
because we were at the ground floor...
and the sky was the limit.
But after a while...
we realized...
unless you've got national exposure, radio means...
nothing.
So last week I went down to the local TV station...
and I told them Gloria and I were interested in doing...
a televised version of our show.
Know what they said?
We weren't "telegenic".
Now, what the hell does that mean?
We've been doing this for 17 years.
Nobody does talk better then we do.
And they wouldn't even give us a shot.
I want to be on television.
When I walk down the street, I want people to recognize me.
I'd like to be appreciated.
I want to be like you.
If you know anyone at that station...
if there's any way you can help us...
What are you offering me?
I've got some money. Not interested.
We could do some very nice promos for your department.
What's the most important thing in your life, Mel?
My wife, Gloria. She's my anchor.
Yeah, but what matters more to you than anything else?
Me. My future.
That's all? My future's all I've got.
Then you're worthless.
What?
I've seen your future, Mel...
and it's tragic.
I thought we could make a deal.
You don't have anything to bargain with.
Now get out of here.
You son of a bitch, why'd you even bother to meet with me?
Call me a fan.
I'm not gonna forget this, Lucas.
I swear I'm gonna find a way to hurt you.
I'm gonna bring you down.
Good morning, Caleb.
Hi. Hi, yourself.
Everything okay?
Fine and dandy.
Maybe I'll take those pancakes to go.
Thanks a lot. Good luck.
So?
So what?
So, you want to tell me what's bothering you?
No. Okay.
You wouldn't believe me anyway.
How do you know?
Well, do you believe in ghosts?
I do if you do.
Well, up until a week ago, my dead sister was talking to me.
Now what do you think about that?
Well, now, you see, that doesn't surprise me at all.
My Aunt Ruth used to talk to me all the time.
In fact, if I hadn't given up her memory...
she'd probably still be jabbering to this day.
I don't have to let go of Merly, she already took care of that.
What do you mean?
She don't come around no more. And she didn't even say goodbye.
I see.
Well, did you say goodbye to her?
No.
That just may be the problem.
I mean, if you're still clinging to her, maybe she feels trapped.
Trapped where?
Between you and wherever it is she's supposed to be.
Maybe you should give her a going away party.
Are you serious? Worked with my Aunt Ruth.
But I don't want Merly gone. I want her here.
But she's not here, Caleb.
And the best thing you can do for her now...
is to let her know that you've accepted that.
Come on. I wanna show you something.
All right...
here we are.
Holt family scrapbook.
What's in there? All kinds of things.
Pictures, newspaper clippings, secret recipes...
and...
a program on a going away party for the dead.
No.
Look for yourself.
"Second funeral"?
My great-grandfather's going away party.
See, he was kind of a restless spirit.
So the family had to let him know it was okay to move on.
It says they burned his stuff in the fire.
That's part of it. It's an old custom, Caleb.
Can I borrow this? No.
There's a lot of other things in here I don't want you messing with.
So, do you want to give this a try?
Can I get Boone to help me? It's your party.
Thanks.
Wake up.
8:04, 910 Talk with Mel and Gloria...
on WIX Trinity.
We're taking calls...
and this morning we're talking about relationships.
That's right, guys. Put away the football. It's the old man-woman thing.
And believe me, it wasn't my idea.
Hey.
Hey nothing. She bribed me, folks.
Promised me breakfast in bed for a week if we did this one.
What's wrong with relationships?
Nothing, love bug, but why do we have to talk about them?
You see, women talk. Men act. Am I right, guys?
Good. Then you can bring me breakfast in bed for a week.
Uh-oh, the wife's riled now. Take a call, Mel.
Okay, you're on WIX.
Please state your name, rank...
and weirdest thing you've ever done in a reclining position.
Hey, Mel. My husband never says a word to me no more.
When I was younger it was different, but now...
Have you tried forcing him into a life of radio, ma'am? It worked for Gloria.
That was a joke, Glo.
Gee, can we cue the laugh track or something?
We've got tumbleweeds blowing in here. Next caller.
The weirdest thing I ever done in a reclining position...
was to take my garden hose and stick it up my...
Thank you for sharing, sir.
You're on WIX.
Mel? No.
Since you're talking about relationships...
why don't you tell your wife about ours.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I didn't catch your name, ma'am.
Friend of yours? Don't be crazy.
Are we screening these calls, or what?
Okay, you're back with the happy couple.
Mel? Yeah?
Would you talk to my husband, please? Love to.
Would you speak up, ma'am? I'm having a little trouble hearing you.
Look, he took a shot at the postman and now the deputy's outside.
Does this deputy happen to work for Lucas Buck, ma'am?
Are you all right? Yeah, but I'm scared of what he's gonna do.
I thought maybe you could talk some sense into him.
Lance?
You have to listen to me now, Lance.
Lance!
This is my property, Ben. You got no right coming here.
You can't go shooting the postman for delivering bills, Lance.
If you got financial problems... You're my problem now, Deputy!
Jean? Are you in there?
Look, he's calling for me.
Just hang on, we're gonna get you through this.
If he's got a gun, she should get out.
Glo, I think I can make this work for us. What do you mean?
I think I can do something with this.
Okay, Jean, we're with you. Just hang on, we're with you.
Look, Lance, now this is your property.
Nobody's disputing that. But you can't go around shooting at people.
Damn it, Lance.
Now, I'm coming in.
Ben, don't!
No!
No, no!
You shot him? You shot him?
He shot him.
Dr. Crawford, please pick up extension three.
Is he going to be okay?
Doc says he'll be off his feet for a while. His hip was shattered.
Oh, jeez. It could've been worse.
Another quarter inch to the right and it would've hit an artery.
I'm sorry, Ben. This never should've happened.
Damn straight.
Who are you? Mel Kirby.
I was on the air with the victim's wife when he was shot.
Yeah, the radio guy.
How's the patient, nurse? Recovering.
I'm around if you need me. Thanks.
So, how do you feel, Deputy?
Lousy.
Did you have a search warrant when you entered the Biggs' home?
What are you, a lawyer? No, I'm better than that, son. I'm the media.
Mr. Kirby, Lance would like to see you.
Jean, I'm real sorry about what happened.
He'd like to see you alone.
Care to make a statement? No.
Might help clear the air. I'm gonna get his side.
It was an accident.
You work for Lucas Buck, am I right?
I don't want to talk about this.
Were you aware the victim owed Mr. Buck money?
Who told you that? The postman.
That's news to me. Then why'd you shoot him?
Look, I told you. It was an accident.
What, did you break his door down by accident, too?
Goodbye.
You know, you can't shoot a man in his own home...
and not expect to account for it.
Look, if you want to make something out of this, you go ahead.
What, the guy owed Lucas money? Fine. So I shot him.
If you don't leave me alone, I might shoot you, too.
That's all I wanted to hear.
Be careful with your handwriting.
I want Merly to be able to read it.
Are you sure this is gonna work? It's an old custom.
Burning people at the stake was an old custom, too.
This ain't like that.
Is this what you want?
Could you find your way home with that thing?
Sure. Then Merlyn can, too.
I'm finished with the invitation. Listen.
"To Merlyn Temple. You are invited to your going away party...
"at Miss Holt's boarding house tonight at 8:00 as the honored guest."
Make it "guest of honor".
Why? 'Cause it sounds better.
Boone, just do the map, okay?
Where's the other stuff?
Corn flakes...
and peanuts in the shell.
This ain't the right kind. That's all they had.
They're supposed to be frosted.
You gotta go back to the store. Why?
'Cause Miss Holt says it's gotta be stuff she liked. Stuff she cared about.
Otherwise, we could end up with Aunt Ruth.
Who? Never mind.
You get the flakes, and I'll set up the barbecue...
and we'll meet back here at 8:00.
Wake up, Trinity.
I always wanted to do that.
Gloria, I presume?
Sheriff Buck. Pleasure to meet you, ma'am.
I listen to your show all the time.
Matter of fact, I caught it this morning.
I'm sorry about what happened. So am I.
Where's your partner? I think he's still at the hospital.
Nope. Already been there. Then he's probably at home.
You sure? He don't strike me as the domestic type.
You know, he's got my deputy in a real panic.
He's afraid your husband may be trying...
to put a dark spin on this morning's events.
Mel doesn't mean any harm. He's just going through a difficult time, that's all.
One of them mid-life crises, eh?
You know, he came by to see me last night. Yeah.
He seems to think you two could be the next Regis and Kathie Lee.
That's his dream, not mine.
If he had to choose between you and the bright lights...
I wonder what road he'd take?
What are you implying?
I'm just trying to put his character in perspective, ma'am.
Ambition can be a mighty dangerous thing.
Just tears at the fabric of a relationship.
Look, I love my husband very much, and he loves me.
And if that's not enough for you... It's enough for me.
I just wonder if it's enough for him.
Why don't you ask Mel to come by my office again tonight...
and maybe we can work this thing out?
Sheriff?
Did he say something specific to you about our marriage?
Something I should know? No, ma'am.
Not a thing.
Evening, Deputy.
Now it's confirmed. I am in hell.
How are you shooting? Just great.
I'm hitting everything today. So I've heard.
What, did Lucas send you down here to dole out some more punishment?
If that's what you need.
I need a vacation. All right. Where you wanna go?
You buying the tickets? Sure.
All right...
Paris.
Let's go to Paris. Sounds good to me.
I'll play you for the window seat.
Well, you are fun, Selena. I'll give you that.
So what are we gonna do to clear your name?
I don't know.
Maybe we ought to just dismember that radio guy.
That ought to liven up the damn weekend.
And in spite of what you think...
Lucas didn't send me down here, either.
Really? Really.
Just came because you cared, huh?
Just trolling.
You know, Selena, the last time we played pool together...
I got in an awful lot of trouble.
But you had fun, didn't you?
Yeah.
Fun in spades.
Well, you're not going to get in any trouble tonight, Ben.
But you may still have some fun.
What, the guy owed Lucas money?
Fine. So I shot him.
If you don't leave me alone, I might shoot you, too.
You know, if you drop a gunshot behind that, it has a pretty powerful effect.
What are you planning on doing with this?
Well, I thought I might open my show with it every morning...
or you could reconsider my request. I already have.
I talked to those people at the TV station...
and they're willing to work with you. Well, good.
Of course, there's one small caveat. And what's that?
They want you solo.
All that business about not being telegenic, that was true...
but apparently, they were referring to your wife.
You're going to have to lose her.
I can't do that. We're a team.
I'm afraid that's the only way it's gonna work.
No. Mel, think for a second.
All these years, you've been waiting for your big break to come, and it hasn't. Why?
You obviously have the talent...
but something's been holding you back.
It's her, Mel. She's your anchor, all right.
Gloria will never let me do this alone.
Of course not. Without you, she's nothing.
I'd have to divorce her.
Now I'm afraid that's not gonna work either.
She'd spend the rest of her days hunting you down for your money.
Making your life a living hell.
No. The way I see it, you only got one option.
You said you wanted to be like me.
Here's your chance.
Is Miss Holt coming? I told her not to.
She didn't know Merly, so I figured a stranger might confuse her.
Here, give me the bag.
Here goes...
map...
invitation...
Frosted Flakes...
and peanuts in the shell.
That's it? That's it.
What about her locket? What about it?
Ain't you gonna put that in, too?
I thought Miss Holt said put in everything she cared about.
I know, but I don't wanna burn this.
My mama's picture's in here and it's the only one I got.
Whatever.
What do we do now? Wait, I guess.
Ain't there a magic word or something? Boone, this ain't magic.
Let me know if anything happens.
Where are you going? Home.
What do you mean? You can't leave now. I been too long already.
But you haven't seen Merlyn yet. I know.
You don't believe this'll work, do you? I'm sorry, Caleb.
That's why she hasn't come yet. It's 'cause you don't believe.
It's 'cause you don't believe!
Merly?
Help me.
Merlyn, is that you?
Caleb, help me.
Let go of me, Merlyn!
Merlyn, what are you doing? Merlyn!
Help me, Caleb.
Let go of me.
Caleb, help!
Miss Holt!
What's the matter?
I did what you said and it worked. I saw her.
Who? Merlyn.
And she's trapped somewhere bad. There's fire everywhere.
Fire? Not now...
but you were right.
Caleb...
now I think we have messed around with this enough.
What do you mean? She needs me.
No, honey, what she needs is to be left alone.
Caleb, I believe...
that you loved your sister very much...
but she's gone now...
and you have to accept that. She's gone.
We're on the air in five seconds, Gloria.
Go without him? I don't think we have a choice.
WIX 910, Trinity. It's 8:00...
and you're listening to Mel and Gloria in the Morning.
Well, make that Gloria, anyway.
I'm afraid my husband has come down with a bad case of the flu...
and won't be able to join us...
but hopefully he'll have a speedy recovery.
Today's topic is infidelity.
Do you know where your husband is?
Give me a call at 555-0101 and let's talk.
And now for Brian with traffic.
Thank you, Gloria.
This portion of Traffic Watch is brought to you by...
I waited up all night for you. I'm sorry.
I called the Sheriff, he said you left his office just before 8:00.
I know. I'm sorry.
Where the hell have you been?
I had to think about some things. All night?
I fell asleep in the car.
Come on, Mel. It's true.
All right, fine. Come to any conclusions?
No.
Well, when you do, you let me know...
because, you know, it's only my life we're talking about here.
You know I love you.
Well, you don't show it.
I mean, you talk great on the radio, but whenever you talk about me...
it's just to say how frustrated you are.
Not with you, with our careers!
What's the difference?
I'm part of your life that's not working, right?
You want more than this.
Mel...
another woman is not gonna give it to you. There is no other woman.
That's all we got for you from this end.
So, Gloria, it's back to you.
Then what's wrong, Mel? I don't know.
We've got dead air, folks.
Thank you, Brian.
I got good news.
My husband, Mel, has just called in and he's feeling much better.
As a matter of fact, he wants to take me out tonight...
on a date.
He wants to take me for a boat ride on Jackson Lake.
7:30.
I'll be waiting on the dock.
Ben? How you feeling this morning? Okay.
I guess you are.
Oh, no.
Why are you so jumpy, Ben? Miss Coombs is here to help you.
Help me what?
In case you've forgotten, there's a little matter to clear up...
regarding your actions yesterday morning.
Mel Kirby has you on tape, blabbing all about shooting people.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
I felt so bad about beating you...
in pool last night...
I figured it was the least I could do.
What's going on here? All kinds of fun.
Matter of fact, things are just getting good.
Will you two excuse me?
You watch her, Ben. She's a tiger.
Buck. It's me.
Who's me? Mel.
Mel, shouldn't you be on the air now?
Lucas, I can't go through with this. Okay.
She's my wife. Yes, she is.
We're going to have to find another way.
Ain't no other way, Mel.
She wants me to take her on a date tonight. A boat ride.
Sounds perfect. Make sure you find some deep water.
Lucas!
She's dragging you down, Mel. I can hear it in your voice.
You're not listening to me!
And what better way to make your television debut...
than to reflect on the passing of your dear, departed wife.
There's always other fish in the sea, Mel.
Lucas!
Selena, honey? Duty calls.
"We have undertaken upon a second funeral service...
"through which we shall set Jonathan free.
"The service will conclude with a sprinkling of brimstone about the..."
Caleb?
You're going to be late for school. Sorry. I'm on my way.
Hey. You feel better today? Yeah. Lots better.
Good.
I hope so.
Hey, Dr. Matt...
if you were reading in a history book and you seen the word brimstone...
what would you think it meant? It's sulfur. Why?
Sulfur like we got in the garden shed? Yeah.
It's also what the old fire and brimstone preachers said hell smelled like.
Which means hell smells like rotten eggs. Right.
Appreciate it. All right. This for a report or something?
Yeah. A very special report.
Good luck. Thanks. Bye.
Nice catch.
What are you doing here? Looking after my own.
Now, what would you possibly want with this?
Give it back.
Raising the dead is serious business, Caleb.
You willing to pay the price?
My sister needs me. Your sister might just eat you alive.
It's time to give up the ghost, son.
I hate you!
And someday we'll make that hate work for you. Now, get on to school.
See there.
Father knows best.
Mr. Kirby?
I'm such a fan of yours. Would you mind?
No, not at all.
You don't know what this means to me.
Well, what's your name? Selena.
Selena?
I've listened to you ever since I was a little girl.
You're dating me. Not yet.
Shoot, you're just coming into your prime.
Thanks.
I just want you to know that if you ever need anything...
anything at all...
I'm available.
A man like you deserves nothing but the best.
Bye.
Far enough? All right.
Well, here we are.
Yep. Here we are.
Do you remember the first time we did this?
My birthday, 1981?
My birthday, '83.
Right decade, anyway.
Mel...
are we past it?
Have you given up on us? I don't know.
Do you feel like I'm holding you back?
Gloria...
it just doesn't seem to be working anymore.
Because of me?
Is it because of me?
Hang on!
Mel, help me.
Just hang on. I can't. My foot's caught on something.
You're caught?
I'm drowning!
Help!
You're caught.
Mel!
I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry, Gloria.
Mel!
I'm sorry.
Mel!
There was nothing I could do.
She must have hit her head on something.
I kept diving back in...
but she was gone.
How did she fall in in the first place?
She got up too quickly. The boat rocked.
God.
How do you feel about this, Mr. Kirby?
I think Mr. Kirby's been through enough already.
Ben.
Lucas, I don't believe his story.
The man has just experienced a terrible tragedy.
Are you gonna let your personal feelings towards him...
cloud your judgment?
You think he's telling the truth? Of course I do.
And frankly, I'm a little surprised at your insensitivity.
Mr. Kirby...
a number of television people have called.
Obviously you're in no condition to make a statement...
but perhaps tomorrow?
Yeah, I think that'd be best. Good.
I'll have them stop by your station in the morning.
Now is there anything you'd like to say to me?
Thanks. Think nothing of it.
Your future's all that matters now.
Mel? Oh, God!
I heard about what happened. You scared the hell out of me.
What was your name? Selena.
Yeah.
Do you want to talk about it?
How'd you hear about it?
Radio. Of course.
What'd they say?
There was an accident.
That you struggled valiantly to save your wife...
but that it was too late.
I'm so sorry.
You gotta love the spin.
Pardon me?
You want to know the irony in all this? I'm a lousy swimmer.
I almost drowned out there tonight.
Almost drowned pretending to save her.
What?
Yeah, it was an accident, all right, but it was an accident I let happen.
You wanted her to die?
Yeah, I guess I did.
Wake up! Wake up!
What the hell?
Selena?
What the hell's going on?
Selena's gone, Mel. What?
It's just the two of us now. Mel and Gloria.
What?
This isn't real.
You're right, Mel. It isn't real. It's television.
Lucas.
Now, while the camera's rolling...
I'd like to play a little tape for you just to get your reaction.
Lucas, I know you're doing this.
It was an accident, all right, but it was an accident I let happen.
Oh, no.
You wanted her to die? Yeah, I guess I did.
Now, Mel, perhaps you'd like to tell the folks at home...
why you'd want to kill the only person in the world who ever loved you?
Lucas!
Hell of a show.
How did you do that? How did you get her voice?
I got it from her.
Gloria?
Lucas told me what you were planning.
Of course I didn't believe it, but then he insisted I test the waters.
Unlike you, I happen to be a very good swimmer.
Gloria, you don't understand.
He set me up. This was all his idea, not mine.
He didn't watch me die.
Now all of America is going to watch you.
Gloria, come on. You've got to believe me.
I did believe you, Mel. For 17 years, I believed in nothing but you.
I don't know which one of us is more pathetic.
You'll forgive me if I don't say thanks.
Why?
Did you really think, Mel, even for one second that you could threaten me?
I came to you for help.
"'Step into my parlor, ' said the spider to the fly."
Mama...
I don't know if you can hear me or not...
but I did everything I could to help Merly, and nothing's worked...
so, if you could do anything, anything at all...
I know she'd appreciate it.
I'm not giving up, Mama.
I'm just letting go.
Merly?
Thy will be done, Caleb.
Thy will be done.