[Script Info]
; This is an Advanced Sub Station Alpha v4+ script.
Title: 0
ScriptType: v4.00+
Collisions: Normal
PlayDepth: 0
WrapStyle: 3
ScaledBorderAndShadow: Yes
PlayResX: 640
PlayResY: 360

[V4+ Styles]
Format: Name, Fontname, Fontsize, PrimaryColour, SecondaryColour, OutlineColour, BackColour, Bold, Italic, Underline, StrikeOut, ScaleX, ScaleY, Spacing, Angle, BorderStyle, Outline, Shadow, Alignment, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Encoding
Style: Default,Adobe Arabic,35.0,&H00FFFFFF,&H0300FFFF,&H00000000,&H02000000,-1,0,0,0,100,100,0,0,1,1.1,0.3,2,10,10,18,1

[Events]
Format: Layer, Start, End, Style, Name, MarginL, MarginR, MarginV, Effect, Text
Dialogue: 0,0:00:16.83,0:00:19.64,Default,,0,0,0,,Hi, Johnny. Can we come in for a moment?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:20.40,0:00:22.11,Default,,0,0,0,,Yes. Yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:24.04,0:00:25.71,Default,,0,0,0,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:25.75,0:00:28.02,Default,,0,0,0,,- Hello.\N- Hi.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:28.05,0:00:29.56,Default,,0,0,0,,Is everything okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:29.59,0:00:31.46,Default,,0,0,0,,We've got some sad news.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:31.49,0:00:34.73,Default,,0,0,0,,Someone very close has died.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:36.20,0:00:37.67,Default,,0,0,0,,Sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:38.61,0:00:40.21,Default,,0,0,0,,You remember Bob?
Dialogue: 0,0:00:41.18,0:00:42.51,Default,,0,0,0,,No.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:43.32,0:00:45.59,Default,,0,0,0,,You broke into his cabin and had sex
Dialogue: 0,0:00:45.62,0:00:47.76,Default,,0,0,0,,while he and his wife were in the next room.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:47.79,0:00:50.60,Default,,0,0,0,,That's Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:50.63,0:00:53.03,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, Bob. He was on the town council.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:53.07,0:00:54.54,Default,,0,0,0,,He's on the town council, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:54.57,0:00:57.11,Default,,0,0,0,,- Bob died?\N- Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Dialogue: 0,0:00:57.14,0:01:01.72,Default,,0,0,0,,No. No, not Bob. Bob's brother, Carl, died.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:07.80,0:01:08.83,Default,,0,0,0,,I don't know Carl.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:09.87,0:01:11.97,Default,,0,0,0,,We barely know Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:12.01,0:01:14.88,Default,,0,0,0,,Carl thought so highly of you, Johnny.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:16.25,0:01:18.12,Default,,0,0,0,,Really? Well, that's nice.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:18.15,0:01:19.66,Default,,0,0,0,,No, I honestly don't know the man.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:19.69,0:01:24.03,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, understandably, Bob is, pretty broken up by all of this,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:24.06,0:01:28.54,Default,,0,0,0,,and he asked me to ask you if, you'd be willing to,
Dialogue: 0,0:01:28.57,0:01:31.35,Default,,0,0,0,,be a pallbearer at Carl's funeral.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:32.38,0:01:34.32,Default,,0,0,0,,A pallbearer?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:34.79,0:01:36.69,Default,,0,0,0,,At Carl's funeral.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:36.72,0:01:38.56,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, I don't...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:39.83,0:01:42.67,Default,,0,0,0,,I, you know, I'm flattered. That's...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:42.70,0:01:44.04,Default,,0,0,0,,It's quite an honor to be...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:44.07,0:01:45.41,Default,,0,0,0,,I knew he would say yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:45.44,0:01:48.55,Default,,0,0,0,,And normally I would, I would.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:48.58,0:01:50.88,Default,,0,0,0,,I... You know, but my back. I have...
Dialogue: 0,0:01:51.79,0:01:53.49,Default,,0,0,0,,I... I have back issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:53.52,0:01:54.93,Default,,0,0,0,,- Honey? You know, my back.\N- What?
Dialogue: 0,0:01:54.96,0:01:56.63,Default,,0,0,0,,- The thing with my back.\N- Your back!
Dialogue: 0,0:01:56.66,0:01:58.73,Default,,0,0,0,,It's... It's terrible.
Dialogue: 0,0:01:58.77,0:02:02.74,Default,,0,0,0,,And his arms are so weak. Little muscles like Corn Nuts.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:02.77,0:02:05.45,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, we're just talking about my back, sweetheart.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:05.48,0:02:06.82,Default,,0,0,0,,It's awful.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:06.85,0:02:09.32,Default,,0,0,0,,I don't know what we're gonna tell Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:09.36,0:02:11.36,Default,,0,0,0,,He's gonna be so disappointed.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:11.39,0:02:15.40,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah. Yeah. Well, life can kick you in the teeth sometimes.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:15.43,0:02:18.71,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, that's not gonna help Bob out too much there, Johnny.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:18.74,0:02:21.61,Default,,0,0,0,,No. Shouldn't bother Carl.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:43.99,0:02:45.76,Default,,0,0,0,,I said bring the goddamn diaper bag!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:46.86,0:02:49.80,Default,,0,0,0,,Babe, I'm getting the cooler right now,
Dialogue: 0,0:02:49.84,0:02:51.00,Default,,0,0,0,,in case you didn't notice.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:51.04,0:02:52.57,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, Denim has needed a diaper change
Dialogue: 0,0:02:52.61,0:02:54.18,Default,,0,0,0,,since before we left the house!
Dialogue: 0,0:02:54.78,0:02:56.32,Default,,0,0,0,,My God.
Dialogue: 0,0:02:56.35,0:02:57.38,Default,,0,0,0,,What?
Dialogue: 0,0:02:57.42,0:03:00.86,Default,,0,0,0,,Some townie douchebag is moving in next door.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:00.89,0:03:02.09,Default,,0,0,0,,They've got a baby.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:06.60,0:03:09.37,Default,,0,0,0,,Is there a gun?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:12.01,0:03:13.88,Default,,0,0,0,,- No.\N- Jesus! What the hell did you do that for?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:13.92,0:03:15.35,Default,,0,0,0,,It's still too hot.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:15.39,0:03:16.72,Default,,0,0,0,,It's 20 seconds in the microwave,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:16.76,0:03:18.83,Default,,0,0,0,,- not 20 minutes, you tool.\N- You've lost it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:18.86,0:03:19.90,Default,,0,0,0,,You've lost it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:19.93,0:03:21.03,Default,,0,0,0,,What the hell are you so rattled about?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:25.71,0:03:27.24,Default,,0,0,0,,- What are you doing?\N- I'm gonna go
Dialogue: 0,0:03:27.28,0:03:28.41,Default,,0,0,0,,stay at Ted's,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:28.45,0:03:30.22,Default,,0,0,0,,because I've been to enough spring breaks
Dialogue: 0,0:03:30.25,0:03:31.45,Default,,0,0,0,,to know how this is gonna end,
Dialogue: 0,0:03:31.49,0:03:34.09,Default,,0,0,0,,and it's not... not good.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:34.12,0:03:36.43,Default,,0,0,0,,You're just gonna leave me here with these people?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:36.46,0:03:39.10,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah. Like, I don't feel good about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:39.13,0:03:40.87,Default,,0,0,0,,Hello! Hello!
Dialogue: 0,0:03:40.90,0:03:43.38,Default,,0,0,0,,Is anybody in that hollow chest?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:53.16,0:03:54.67,Default,,0,0,0,,Hey, Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:03:55.90,0:03:57.24,Default,,0,0,0,,How are you holding up?
Dialogue: 0,0:03:57.27,0:03:59.61,Default,,0,0,0,,You know. Not bad.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:01.41,0:04:03.35,Default,,0,0,0,,You know, they say death is just life
Dialogue: 0,0:04:03.38,0:04:05.12,Default,,0,0,0,,except you're not here.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:05.15,0:04:07.72,Default,,0,0,0,,You're somewhere else, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:07.76,0:04:09.09,Default,,0,0,0,,But that's okay because
Dialogue: 0,0:04:09.13,0:04:11.00,Default,,0,0,0,,at least you're somewhere, you know?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:11.03,0:04:14.04,Default,,0,0,0,,But when does somewhere become there?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:14.07,0:04:15.97,Default,,0,0,0,,And when does there become here?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:16.01,0:04:17.64,Default,,0,0,0,,- And I... It just...\N- Just a coffee, please.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:17.68,0:04:19.31,Default,,0,0,0,,- For here? Okay.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:27.80,0:04:29.94,Default,,0,0,0,,- Bob.\N- Hi, Johnny.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:29.97,0:04:31.91,Default,,0,0,0,,Hi. Hi.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:31.94,0:04:34.01,Default,,0,0,0,,You mind if I join you?
Dialogue: 0,0:04:34.04,0:04:35.55,Default,,0,0,0,,I could use a little company today.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:35.58,0:04:36.68,Default,,0,0,0,,No, no.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:36.72,0:04:39.15,Default,,0,0,0,,You... You stay where you are, and I'll...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:39.19,0:04:40.99,Default,,0,0,0,,I'll come over there.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:42.63,0:04:44.06,Default,,0,0,0,,Baby. Ooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:44.10,0:04:45.37,Default,,0,0,0,,Wow!
Dialogue: 0,0:04:47.27,0:04:51.55,Default,,0,0,0,,Yikes! That's... That hurts today.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:51.58,0:04:55.02,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, Roland, he told me about your back and I...
Dialogue: 0,0:04:55.59,0:04:56.99,Default,,0,0,0,,I am so sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:57.02,0:04:59.33,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, I'm the one who's sorry, Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:04:59.36,0:05:03.30,Default,,0,0,0,,You know, hearing about your, brother. Chris...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:03.34,0:05:05.71,Default,,0,0,0,,- Carl.\N- Carl. Yeah, he was a good man.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:05.74,0:05:07.58,Default,,0,0,0,,- Good man.\N- He admired you, Johnny.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:07.61,0:05:08.95,Default,,0,0,0,,- And I him.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:08.98,0:05:10.35,Default,,0,0,0,,And I him.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:10.38,0:05:12.92,Default,,0,0,0,,Listen, I understand about your back...
Dialogue: 0,0:05:12.95,0:05:14.09,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:14.79,0:05:17.73,Default,,0,0,0,,And I was just, wondering
Dialogue: 0,0:05:17.76,0:05:21.64,Default,,0,0,0,,if maybe you could say a few words at the funeral?
Dialogue: 0,0:05:23.68,0:05:26.01,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, the thing is, Bob,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:26.05,0:05:29.52,Default,,0,0,0,,I don't feel I deserve that honor.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:29.55,0:05:32.83,Default,,0,0,0,,See, I'm no good at these things.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:32.86,0:05:36.17,Default,,0,0,0,,You know, you, you're polished.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:36.20,0:05:37.80,Default,,0,0,0,,You know, you're well-spoken.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:37.84,0:05:40.21,Default,,0,0,0,,No. No, no. Not really. Not really.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:40.24,0:05:44.75,Default,,0,0,0,,I mean, I'm good one-on-one, but not good in a public situation.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:44.79,0:05:46.19,Default,,0,0,0,,I clam up pretty good.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:46.22,0:05:47.89,Default,,0,0,0,,As a favor, Johnny.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:47.92,0:05:50.10,Default,,0,0,0,,He must have had a few close friends,
Dialogue: 0,0:05:50.13,0:05:51.50,Default,,0,0,0,,- somebody that...\N- No one.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:53.30,0:05:56.71,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, sure. Sure. I can say a few words, Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:05:56.74,0:05:58.41,Default,,0,0,0,,I'll say a few words.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:02.69,0:06:05.06,Default,,0,0,0,,Have you seen the couple that checked in?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:05.09,0:06:09.50,Default,,0,0,0,,They're like really scummy. Like, very skaggy people
Dialogue: 0,0:06:09.53,0:06:14.18,Default,,0,0,0,,who happened to produce a child that hasn't been taken away from them yet.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:14.21,0:06:15.91,Default,,0,0,0,,Imagine being related to them.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:15.95,0:06:17.25,Default,,0,0,0,,No, I can't. It's too early.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:17.28,0:06:18.39,Default,,0,0,0,,They're my cousins.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:20.12,0:06:22.13,Default,,0,0,0,,Well,
Dialogue: 0,0:06:22.16,0:06:24.46,Default,,0,0,0,,the baby's relatively normal-looking.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:24.50,0:06:26.20,Default,,0,0,0,,No, they're definitely skaggy.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:26.23,0:06:27.84,Default,,0,0,0,,My God, they're so skaggy.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:29.81,0:06:31.51,Default,,0,0,0,,Wait, so you're related to Carl?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:31.55,0:06:33.21,Default,,0,0,0,,Not genetically.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:33.25,0:06:36.72,Default,,0,0,0,,My mom's sister was married to Carl. Carl is Sean's stepdad.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:36.76,0:06:38.73,Default,,0,0,0,,And was that a factor in the cause of death?
Dialogue: 0,0:06:38.76,0:06:40.80,Default,,0,0,0,,I wouldn't be surprised.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:40.83,0:06:43.64,Default,,0,0,0,,They broke up right before Sean got Bree pregnant.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:43.67,0:06:45.87,Default,,0,0,0,,Or someone got Bree pregnant.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:45.91,0:06:47.91,Default,,0,0,0,,I mean, Bree's not exactly fussy
Dialogue: 0,0:06:47.94,0:06:50.92,Default,,0,0,0,,when it comes to introducing men to her vagina.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:51.55,0:06:52.89,Default,,0,0,0,,Charming.
Dialogue: 0,0:06:57.46,0:07:00.80,Default,,0,0,0,,Tell me it's not always this clean in here.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:00.84,0:07:02.17,Default,,0,0,0,,No, it's always this clean.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:02.21,0:07:04.95,Default,,0,0,0,,It smells so fresh.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:04.98,0:07:06.35,Default,,0,0,0,,That's the Febreze.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:06.38,0:07:08.79,Default,,0,0,0,,I was... I was eating Indian last night, so...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:08.82,0:07:11.22,Default,,0,0,0,,So much better than the motel.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:11.26,0:07:13.80,Default,,0,0,0,,At least you know what the smell is.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:22.85,0:07:25.02,Default,,0,0,0,,- Hey, come on now, you two.\N- Hey!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:25.05,0:07:27.19,Default,,0,0,0,,- Come on.\N- Hi there. Ooh!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:28.49,0:07:30.80,Default,,0,0,0,,There's a good girl. There's a good girl!
Dialogue: 0,0:07:30.83,0:07:33.64,Default,,0,0,0,,- They're so...\N- ! Well, Macy and Fifer
Dialogue: 0,0:07:33.67,0:07:36.61,Default,,0,0,0,,are just staying with me for a couple of weeks until they get back on their feet.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:36.64,0:07:38.14,Default,,0,0,0,,Isn't that right, Fifey?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:38.18,0:07:41.18,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, your worms are almost all gone, aren't they?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:41.22,0:07:42.29,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:42.32,0:07:44.22,Default,,0,0,0,,Is that a diaper on that little cutie?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:44.26,0:07:45.93,Default,,0,0,0,,Yup. You know what, though?
Dialogue: 0,0:07:45.96,0:07:50.24,Default,,0,0,0,,Okay. This is just because she's scared right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:50.27,0:07:53.54,Default,,0,0,0,,But, don't worry. I can tell that you are gonna win them over.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:53.58,0:07:55.31,Default,,0,0,0,,- Yeah?\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:07:55.35,0:07:58.69,Default,,0,0,0,,I just... I haven't, been... I haven't... I don't...
Dialogue: 0,0:07:58.72,0:08:00.56,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm not around dogs a lot, so...
Dialogue: 0,0:08:00.59,0:08:02.53,Default,,0,0,0,,No, you know what? Don't even worry about it.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:02.56,0:08:05.70,Default,,0,0,0,,Just for tonight, think of them as our kids.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:06.67,0:08:09.14,Default,,0,0,0,,Right? Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:09.17,0:08:11.38,Default,,0,0,0,,John, you're speaking at the funeral?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:11.41,0:08:14.35,Default,,0,0,0,,The man was weeping. What was I supposed to do?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:14.38,0:08:18.69,Default,,0,0,0,,You take his hands in yours, you look him in the eye, and you say, "No."
Dialogue: 0,0:08:18.73,0:08:21.36,Default,,0,0,0,,What do you say about a guy you couldn't care less about?
Dialogue: 0,0:08:21.40,0:08:24.34,Default,,0,0,0,,It's Gord what'his-name's funeral all over again.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:24.37,0:08:25.87,Default,,0,0,0,,- Who's Gord what'his-name?\N- Exactly.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:25.91,0:08:28.41,Default,,0,0,0,,He was some kind of crewperson on Sunrise Bay.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:28.44,0:08:31.35,Default,,0,0,0,,I made an obligatory appearance at the service,
Dialogue: 0,0:08:31.38,0:08:34.66,Default,,0,0,0,,and his hysterical girlfriend cornered me into saying a few words.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:34.69,0:08:37.80,Default,,0,0,0,,I didn't have a thought in my head, so I just stood up and sang Danny Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:37.83,0:08:39.60,Default,,0,0,0,,Not a dry eye in the house.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:42.91,0:08:44.94,Default,,0,0,0,,God, I love this bed.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:47.58,0:08:49.32,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm so glad you're not my brother.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:49.35,0:08:52.29,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty glad about that, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:08:52.33,0:08:55.80,Default,,0,0,0,,But let me assure you, tonight it is just you and me.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:09.69,0:09:12.83,Default,,0,0,0,,Hey, the little guy is looking at us.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:12.87,0:09:16.34,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, dogs sometimes do that.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:16.37,0:09:17.38,Default,,0,0,0,,Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:24.69,0:09:28.33,Default,,0,0,0,,Maybe we could invite it to go? Go away.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:28.36,0:09:31.24,Default,,0,0,0,,She's fine. She's fine. She's fine.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:34.68,0:09:37.85,Default,,0,0,0,,Now you want in on the action too?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:37.88,0:09:42.83,Default,,0,0,0,,Okay, the big one is sniffing the diaper.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:42.86,0:09:44.80,Default,,0,0,0,,- Does that mean it's full? What is...\N- Okay.
Dialogue: 0,0:09:44.83,0:09:47.94,Default,,0,0,0,,Okay, you guys, just give us a little bit of time here,
Dialogue: 0,0:09:47.97,0:09:50.68,Default,,0,0,0,,and then you can come sleep with us, okay? Okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:09:51.71,0:09:53.41,Default,,0,0,0,,Okay, where were we?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:00.30,0:10:02.90,Default,,0,0,0,,Out. Get out.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:09.15,0:10:10.35,Default,,0,0,0,,Pass the chips!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:13.52,0:10:15.09,Default,,0,0,0,,Hello. Excuse me.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:15.66,0:10:16.90,Default,,0,0,0,,Excuse me!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:16.93,0:10:18.20,Default,,0,0,0,,- Hey!\N- Excuse me!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:18.23,0:10:21.14,Default,,0,0,0,,- Hey! Go.\N- Excuse me, hi.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:21.17,0:10:23.84,Default,,0,0,0,,Buttons, I don't think you're invited to this one?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:23.88,0:10:25.35,Default,,0,0,0,,I don't wanna be invited to this one.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:25.38,0:10:27.75,Default,,0,0,0,,Hey, look who it is. It's your dad. He's here to take you home!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:27.78,0:10:29.69,Default,,0,0,0,,- Yeah, yeah.\N- Remember that?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:29.72,0:10:31.96,Default,,0,0,0,,- Yeah!\N- You remember that one?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:31.99,0:10:32.99,Default,,0,0,0,,No.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:34.00,0:10:36.57,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm just pumpin' your tires, bud!
Dialogue: 0,0:10:36.60,0:10:40.51,Default,,0,0,0,,Look, what you gotta understand is that my ex-stepdad just died,
Dialogue: 0,0:10:40.54,0:10:42.95,Default,,0,0,0,,so we're here celebrating his life, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:42.98,0:10:45.75,Default,,0,0,0,,Okay, you all seem very devastated by this.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:45.79,0:10:47.39,Default,,0,0,0,,I need you to turn...
Dialogue: 0,0:10:47.42,0:10:50.46,Default,,0,0,0,,I need you to turn the music down, okay?-
Dialogue: 0,0:10:50.50,0:10:52.00,Default,,0,0,0,,Because I'm trying to get
Dialogue: 0,0:10:52.03,0:10:54.74,Default,,0,0,0,,at least a couple hours' sleep tonight.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:54.77,0:10:57.91,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, you know who's sleeping forever, bud?
Dialogue: 0,0:10:57.94,0:10:59.78,Default,,0,0,0,,- Your ex-stepdad, yeah.\N- My ex-stepdad, yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:10:59.81,0:11:01.95,Default,,0,0,0,,- Yup, yeah.\N- Damn, that's sad.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:01.99,0:11:04.52,Default,,0,0,0,,- Are we out of mix?\N- Okay, thank you. If you could just turn it...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:04.56,0:11:05.93,Default,,0,0,0,,Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:08.53,0:11:09.53,Default,,0,0,0,,My God.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:10.54,0:11:11.97,Default,,0,0,0,,Don't.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:12.01,0:11:13.11,Default,,0,0,0,,My...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:16.11,0:11:19.55,Default,,0,0,0,,I am so sorry. They got me...
Dialogue: 0,0:11:19.59,0:11:21.46,Default,,0,0,0,,They got me wasted.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:21.49,0:11:24.63,Default,,0,0,0,,I hate them, okay? I hate them so much.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:24.66,0:11:28.34,Default,,0,0,0,,You smell very flammable right now.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:28.37,0:11:30.14,Default,,0,0,0,,Yes, I'm sure.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:30.17,0:11:34.05,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm gonna need you to get them to turn it down, okay?
Dialogue: 0,0:11:34.85,0:11:36.12,Default,,0,0,0,,- Yes.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:38.79,0:11:42.07,Default,,0,0,0,,Hi, Denim. Hi, sweetie pie.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:42.10,0:11:44.37,Default,,0,0,0,,David, I'm so sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:54.89,0:11:56.23,Default,,0,0,0,,- Johnny.\N- Hello, Bob.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:56.26,0:11:58.97,Default,,0,0,0,,Moira, so good of you to come.
Dialogue: 0,0:11:59.00,0:12:01.47,Default,,0,0,0,,John said we had no choice.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:01.50,0:12:03.34,Default,,0,0,0,,Listen, we have some good seats down front.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:03.37,0:12:05.34,Default,,0,0,0,,That's very nice.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:06.61,0:12:10.86,Default,,0,0,0,,Boy, what a beautiful day for a funeral.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:20.51,0:12:24.38,Default,,0,0,0,,Bob, in case I wanna mention this in my remarks,
Dialogue: 0,0:12:24.42,0:12:26.22,Default,,0,0,0,,how did Carl go?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:26.25,0:12:29.46,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, it was a bit of a freak accident, really.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:29.49,0:12:33.87,Default,,0,0,0,,Apparently, he was trying to unhook his belt from the ceiling fan.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:33.90,0:12:36.98,Default,,0,0,0,,Apparently, it got knotted around his neck.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:37.01,0:12:38.44,Default,,0,0,0,,What?
Dialogue: 0,0:12:38.48,0:12:41.45,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, you know, you'd think the whole thing would've come down, you know.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:41.48,0:12:47.23,Default,,0,0,0,,Try keeping a fan and a body spinning up there for two days.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:47.26,0:12:50.77,Default,,0,0,0,,But, Carl found the studs on that one.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:50.80,0:12:52.84,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:52.87,0:12:53.94,Default,,0,0,0,,That's craftsmanship.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:53.98,0:12:54.98,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:12:55.88,0:12:58.35,Default,,0,0,0,,But that was Carl.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:06.30,0:13:08.91,Default,,0,0,0,,Do you even know what that stain is or...
Dialogue: 0,0:13:08.94,0:13:12.18,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm worried if I did, I wouldn't clean it up.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:14.78,0:13:16.52,Default,,0,0,0,,Why are you cleaning it up?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:16.55,0:13:20.70,Default,,0,0,0,,Sadly, I threw most of the broken glass you see here.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:21.70,0:13:23.23,Default,,0,0,0,,You were a bit of a mess last night.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:24.27,0:13:25.50,Default,,0,0,0,,They told you?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:25.54,0:13:28.54,Default,,0,0,0,,No, no. We had a full-blown conversation.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:28.58,0:13:31.45,Default,,0,0,0,,You were barely clinging to consciousness.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:33.35,0:13:35.49,Default,,0,0,0,,Sorry.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:35.52,0:13:37.50,Default,,0,0,0,,Did I try and make out with you?
Dialogue: 0,0:13:38.73,0:13:40.27,Default,,0,0,0,,Good.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:40.30,0:13:42.67,Default,,0,0,0,,But now I'm worried I made out with someone else.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:42.71,0:13:44.81,Default,,0,0,0,,It's kind of my go-to when I'm a little boozy.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:46.08,0:13:49.42,Default,,0,0,0,,Mine's shame eating, so yours sounds more fun.
Dialogue: 0,0:13:55.16,0:13:56.67,Default,,0,0,0,,Is this your thong or...
Dialogue: 0,0:13:56.70,0:13:59.74,Default,,0,0,0,,Yeah, no. Bree's a real classy girl.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:01.04,0:14:03.25,Default,,0,0,0,,His was wrapped around the remote.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:03.28,0:14:05.45,Default,,0,0,0,,Don't worry, I threw out the remote.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:08.39,0:14:10.19,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, it looks like they have a side hustle.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:10.23,0:14:13.57,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm pretty sure she strips. Why?
Dialogue: 0,0:14:13.60,0:14:15.70,Default,,0,0,0,,No, this is just a lot of...
Dialogue: 0,0:14:15.74,0:14:18.88,Default,,0,0,0,,- Yes, it is.\N- Marijuana.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:18.91,0:14:21.68,Default,,0,0,0,,And if you're offering, my answer is yes.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:27.83,0:14:29.80,Default,,0,0,0,,Thank you for that, Shannon.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:29.83,0:14:33.61,Default,,0,0,0,,Nothing says we'll miss you like an excerpt from Breaking Dawn,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:33.64,0:14:37.58,Default,,0,0,0,,one of Carl's favorites of the Twilight movies.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:37.62,0:14:40.05,Default,,0,0,0,,Now, to say a few words,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:40.09,0:14:44.46,Default,,0,0,0,,I'd like to bring up a close friend and one of Carl's personal heroes,
Dialogue: 0,0:14:45.70,0:14:47.17,Default,,0,0,0,,Johnny Rose.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:55.89,0:14:58.09,Default,,0,0,0,,Thank you, Minister.
Dialogue: 0,0:14:59.99,0:15:01.46,Default,,0,0,0,,Carl.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:03.00,0:15:05.60,Default,,0,0,0,,What to say about Carl?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:07.08,0:15:08.81,Default,,0,0,0,,Once so full of life,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:09.91,0:15:11.65,Default,,0,0,0,,and now
Dialogue: 0,0:15:11.68,0:15:14.59,Default,,0,0,0,,lying very, very close to me.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:15.82,0:15:19.63,Default,,0,0,0,,What a terrible thing death is.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:20.13,0:15:22.57,Default,,0,0,0,,And yet, for Carl,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:22.61,0:15:25.48,Default,,0,0,0,,pretty much an all-consuming thing at this point.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:26.71,0:15:29.65,Default,,0,0,0,,He was a... He was a man who loved
Dialogue: 0,0:15:31.09,0:15:33.23,Default,,0,0,0,,a good sweater, I'm told.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:34.36,0:15:37.67,Default,,0,0,0,,And he loved the feel of a big tool in his hand.
Dialogue: 0,0:15:37.70,0:15:39.57,Default,,0,0,0,,Am I right, Bob?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:40.37,0:15:42.01,Default,,0,0,0,,And I wonder,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:42.05,0:15:46.05,Default,,0,0,0,,when Carl was spinning around on that ceiling fan
Dialogue: 0,0:15:46.09,0:15:48.72,Default,,0,0,0,,that he was so very proud of,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:48.76,0:15:51.46,Default,,0,0,0,,was he ever thinking of this town,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:52.37,0:15:55.17,Default,,0,0,0,,where he was born, where he lived,
Dialogue: 0,0:15:55.20,0:15:56.74,Default,,0,0,0,,and where he died?
Dialogue: 0,0:15:58.38,0:16:01.28,Default,,0,0,0,,Where he died.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:01.32,0:16:04.36,Default,,0,0,0,,But I'm not up here today
Dialogue: 0,0:16:04.39,0:16:08.40,Default,,0,0,0,,to speak about dying in Schitt's Creek.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:09.57,0:16:11.87,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm here. I'm...
Dialogue: 0,0:16:13.07,0:16:15.88,Default,,0,0,0,,- Where the hell are you, Sean?\N- I'm...
Dialogue: 0,0:16:15.91,0:16:17.28,Default,,0,0,0,,At a bar?
Dialogue: 0,0:16:17.32,0:16:19.89,Default,,0,0,0,,If anyone should be in a bar right now, it's me.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:19.92,0:16:22.89,Default,,0,0,0,,Fuck, Sean!
Dialogue: 0,0:16:22.93,0:16:23.96,Default,,0,0,0,,Excuse me.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:26.90,0:16:30.71,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, I am here to talk about dying in Schitt's Creek.
Dialogue: 0,0:16:30.74,0:16:34.42,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm here to talk about the misery of our lives here,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:34.45,0:16:37.09,Default,,0,0,0,,and how we might never escape this place,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:37.12,0:16:40.63,Default,,0,0,0,,and how we do not want to end up in a coffin, like Carl,
Dialogue: 0,0:16:40.66,0:16:43.90,Default,,0,0,0,,here in this godforsaken...
Dialogue: 0,0:16:43.93,0:16:47.64,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ Danny boy
Dialogue: 0,0:16:49.25,0:16:55.79,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ The pipes, the pipes are calling
Dialogue: 0,0:16:59.87,0:17:02.94,Default,,0,0,0,,-♪ From glen to glen
Dialogue: 0,0:17:02.97,0:17:07.42,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ And down the mountain side
Dialogue: 0,0:17:08.55,0:17:10.69,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ But God...
Dialogue: 0,0:17:14.10,0:17:16.83,Default,,0,0,0,,So, I'm sorry
Dialogue: 0,0:17:16.87,0:17:20.81,Default,,0,0,0,,if earlier I wasn't sensitive to your animal issues.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:20.84,0:17:22.71,Default,,0,0,0,,And if it's any consolation,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:22.75,0:17:24.88,Default,,0,0,0,,the dogs told me to tell you that they're super embarrassed
Dialogue: 0,0:17:24.92,0:17:26.19,Default,,0,0,0,,about their behavior, too.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:27.82,0:17:31.36,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, I am dating a vet. I should've known that
Dialogue: 0,0:17:31.40,0:17:33.93,Default,,0,0,0,,there'd be slutty little animals running around.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:33.97,0:17:37.64,Default,,0,0,0,,And I only take in the slutty ones, so...
Dialogue: 0,0:17:37.68,0:17:42.42,Default,,0,0,0,,I just, I didn't know what to do because I love the dogs so much, but,
Dialogue: 0,0:17:42.45,0:17:44.96,Default,,0,0,0,,you know, I also really love
Dialogue: 0,0:17:46.49,0:17:50.30,Default,,0,0,0,,the way that our relationship is going right now, so much.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:51.34,0:17:52.74,Default,,0,0,0,,Such a sweet face.
Dialogue: 0,0:17:53.87,0:17:56.81,Default,,0,0,0,,So, to get you more comfortable around animals...
Dialogue: 0,0:17:56.85,0:17:58.58,Default,,0,0,0,,Not a puppy, Ted! I...
Dialogue: 0,0:17:58.62,0:18:00.62,Default,,0,0,0,,No, that would be cruel to the puppy.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:00.65,0:18:03.16,Default,,0,0,0,,No, I got you this.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:11.21,0:18:12.91,Default,,0,0,0,,It's a very specific book.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:12.95,0:18:15.62,Default,,0,0,0,,You might wanna check out page 37.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:18.82,0:18:20.03,Default,,0,0,0,,Is it a credit card?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:20.99,0:18:23.73,Default,,0,0,0,,No. It's a room key.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:23.77,0:18:28.24,Default,,0,0,0,,To the premium king suite at the Holiday Inn Express in Elmdale,
Dialogue: 0,0:18:28.28,0:18:31.38,Default,,0,0,0,,and they have a very strict "no pets allowed" policy.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:31.42,0:18:35.59,Default,,0,0,0,,Well, it just so happens that I have packed my overnight bag.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:37.13,0:18:38.30,Default,,0,0,0,,Come here.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:41.03,0:18:42.67,Default,,0,0,0,,- Thank you.\N- No, thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:42.71,0:18:44.28,Default,,0,0,0,,- No. Thank you.\N- Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:44.31,0:18:46.21,Default,,0,0,0,,- Thank you. Thank you.\N- Thank you.
Dialogue: 0,0:18:50.09,0:18:51.92,Default,,0,0,0,,You know where I got my hat, brah?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:51.96,0:18:53.56,Default,,0,0,0,,Where?
Dialogue: 0,0:18:53.59,0:18:55.43,Default,,0,0,0,,Assholes R Us.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:06.42,0:19:07.96,Default,,0,0,0,,My God.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:07.99,0:19:09.96,Default,,0,0,0,,My God! We need to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:09.99,0:19:12.50,Default,,0,0,0,,We need to go. We need to go.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:13.93,0:19:16.41,Default,,0,0,0,,I don't see it. I don't see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:16.44,0:19:18.01,Default,,0,0,0,,Let me see it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:24.46,0:19:25.49,Default,,0,0,0,,The fuck?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:25.52,0:19:27.53,Default,,0,0,0,,Who trashed our room?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:27.56,0:19:29.83,Default,,0,0,0,,You did, Sean!
Dialogue: 0,0:19:29.87,0:19:31.94,Default,,0,0,0,,Where's my backwards hat?
Dialogue: 0,0:19:31.97,0:19:34.07,Default,,0,0,0,,My hat. I'm wearing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:34.11,0:19:35.61,Default,,0,0,0,,I'm wearing it.
Dialogue: 0,0:19:59.56,0:20:03.27,Default,,0,0,0,,So I'm thinking to myself, "God, what if I die here?"
Dialogue: 0,0:20:03.30,0:20:06.64,Default,,0,0,0,,That was not lost on anyone.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:06.67,0:20:10.55,Default,,0,0,0,,Let's pilfer a few sandwiches and make a gracious French exit.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:10.58,0:20:11.88,Default,,0,0,0,,Good idea.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:15.29,0:20:18.50,Default,,0,0,0,,Moira! Your Danny Boy.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:19.03,0:20:20.27,Default,,0,0,0,,What a voice.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:20.30,0:20:21.80,Default,,0,0,0,,- Thank you.\N- Yeah.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:21.84,0:20:24.64,Default,,0,0,0,,I'd really like you to sing at my cousin's funeral.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:24.68,0:20:28.62,Default,,0,0,0,,She's not dead, but she's been coughing a lot lately.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:28.65,0:20:31.42,Default,,0,0,0,,Moira, before they close the coffin,
Dialogue: 0,0:20:31.46,0:20:34.13,Default,,0,0,0,,one more chorus for Carl?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:34.16,0:20:35.26,Default,,0,0,0,,Please?
Dialogue: 0,0:20:40.74,0:20:42.04,Default,,0,0,0,,Take your time, honey.
Dialogue: 0,0:20:57.88,0:21:00.08,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ Danny
Dialogue: 0,0:21:07.03,0:21:08.83,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ Boy
Dialogue: 0,0:21:11.54,0:21:15.08,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ The pipes, the pipes are
Dialogue: 0,0:21:17.15,0:21:19.85,Default,,0,0,0,,♪ Calling