1 00:00:03,792 --> 00:00:06,794 (Bell tolling) 2 00:00:08,697 --> 00:00:10,497 Hi. 3 00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,399 So sorry I'm late. 4 00:00:12,434 --> 00:00:14,401 This is what you're wearing? 5 00:00:14,436 --> 00:00:16,070 Slacks? To church? 6 00:00:16,104 --> 00:00:18,172 Seriously? I think God just wants us to show up. 7 00:00:18,206 --> 00:00:19,505 I don't think he minds what we wear. 8 00:00:19,540 --> 00:00:20,941 Well, that's fine, 9 00:00:20,975 --> 00:00:22,943 unless you mind everybody else thinking you're a lesbian. 10 00:00:22,977 --> 00:00:25,545 I wore pants because I tripped over a keg in the ladies' room 11 00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:27,847 at Boobylicious and I bruised my shin on a toilet. 12 00:00:27,882 --> 00:00:29,082 What a pretty story. 13 00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:30,584 Let's just go worship, okay? 14 00:00:30,618 --> 00:00:33,219 Open-toed shoes? Oh, my God. No. We're going in the side door. 15 00:00:33,253 --> 00:00:35,955 No. No! Amanda! Oh! 16 00:00:35,989 --> 00:00:39,424 Check out the caboose on Laura Vaughn's mama. 17 00:00:39,459 --> 00:00:41,727 Landry? Watch the locker-room language, please. (Swats side) 18 00:00:41,761 --> 00:00:44,396 A bun-ular display like that is precisely why 19 00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:47,532 a lady never wears pants in church. 20 00:00:47,567 --> 00:00:49,702 Hey, hey. Don't be so hard on him, kitten. 21 00:00:49,736 --> 00:00:52,904 Well, I won't have both my men being obsessed with Amanda. 22 00:00:52,938 --> 00:00:54,939 I'm not obsessed with Amanda. 23 00:00:54,974 --> 00:00:57,041 I'm obsessed with finding out 24 00:00:57,076 --> 00:00:58,542 what's going on with her dead husband. 25 00:00:58,577 --> 00:01:00,277 I know, I know. 26 00:01:00,312 --> 00:01:03,247 Could he still be alive? How can we find out? 27 00:01:03,281 --> 00:01:05,316 Be a little more friendly to her, 28 00:01:05,350 --> 00:01:08,284 get her to drop her guard so you can get in behind enemy lines. 29 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:11,154 (Car horn plays "The Yellow Rose of Texas") Who's that dude? 30 00:01:11,188 --> 00:01:14,390 That is Carlene's uncle Burl. 31 00:01:14,425 --> 00:01:17,094 He's been gone for two years distributing millions of Bibles 32 00:01:17,128 --> 00:01:19,730 to folks in the third world countries. 33 00:01:19,764 --> 00:01:21,665 Oh, he's a missionary? 34 00:01:21,699 --> 00:01:23,132 Well, not exactly. 35 00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:25,267 He's been doing it from his yacht, 36 00:01:25,301 --> 00:01:27,236 but he's one of the finest, kindest people 37 00:01:27,270 --> 00:01:28,604 you'd ever hope to meet. 38 00:01:28,639 --> 00:01:31,306 His wife Bitsy is not. 39 00:01:31,341 --> 00:01:34,576 Gigi, come over here and break my neck. 40 00:01:34,611 --> 00:01:36,478 (Laughs) 41 00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,479 (Both laugh) 42 00:01:37,514 --> 00:01:39,480 Oh, Burl! Welcome back. 43 00:01:39,515 --> 00:01:41,182 Dallas hasn't been the same without you. 44 00:01:41,216 --> 00:01:42,517 You either, Bitsy. 45 00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:45,787 Gigi. Let me look at you. 46 00:01:45,821 --> 00:01:47,255 So brave. 47 00:01:47,289 --> 00:01:49,423 I'm just dying to see everybody. 48 00:01:49,458 --> 00:01:51,126 Now Bitsy and I were thinking 49 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,895 about throwing together some kind of hootenanny at the ranch. 50 00:01:53,929 --> 00:01:55,395 Over my dead body. 51 00:01:55,429 --> 00:01:57,831 I'm throwing your homecoming party. 52 00:01:57,866 --> 00:02:00,200 (Bitsy and Burl laugh) I wouldn't have it any other way. 53 00:02:00,234 --> 00:02:03,603 Excuse me, ma'am. Any chance I might squeeze in here? 54 00:02:03,638 --> 00:02:06,239 I didn't realize I broke a commandment. 55 00:02:06,274 --> 00:02:08,008 "Thou shalt not wear slacks to church." 56 00:02:08,043 --> 00:02:10,477 Oh, yeah. Tradition dies hard around here. 57 00:02:10,511 --> 00:02:12,278 You know, I consider myself 58 00:02:12,312 --> 00:02:14,446 a strong, very secure, independent woman. 59 00:02:14,481 --> 00:02:15,715 Fierce, even. 60 00:02:15,749 --> 00:02:17,050 Mm-hmm. 61 00:02:17,084 --> 00:02:18,718 So why can a little bit of criticism from my mother 62 00:02:18,752 --> 00:02:19,852 still slam me so hard? 63 00:02:19,887 --> 00:02:22,021 'Cause she matters, 64 00:02:22,056 --> 00:02:25,191 and deep down, you care. 65 00:02:26,726 --> 00:02:29,227 I gotta go work the booby brunch shift... (Chuckles) 66 00:02:29,261 --> 00:02:30,796 and find my keys. 67 00:02:30,830 --> 00:02:32,964 Me and my heathen slacks are slipping out of here. 68 00:02:32,999 --> 00:02:34,032 Don't judge me. 69 00:02:34,067 --> 00:02:35,466 Mm. 70 00:02:36,535 --> 00:02:38,336 Hey. 71 00:02:39,338 --> 00:02:40,338 Get back here. 72 00:02:40,372 --> 00:02:41,372 What? 73 00:02:41,407 --> 00:02:43,040 Come on. 74 00:02:43,075 --> 00:02:45,109 Girl, ain't nobody drives a pair of pants like you do. 75 00:02:45,143 --> 00:02:46,877 I need your opinion about something. 76 00:02:46,912 --> 00:02:49,146 You remember Westward Ho! Jeans? 77 00:02:49,181 --> 00:02:51,015 Yeah, vaguely. Mama used to wear 'em when I was a kid. 78 00:02:51,049 --> 00:02:52,750 Cricket's daddy's company discontinued the line 79 00:02:52,784 --> 00:02:56,220 about 25 years ago, but I've decided to relaunch the brand. 80 00:02:56,254 --> 00:02:58,055 Whatcha think? 81 00:02:58,090 --> 00:03:00,857 I used a designer from "Project Runway." 82 00:03:00,891 --> 00:03:02,325 Truthfully? 83 00:03:02,359 --> 00:03:05,195 No, please, lie. 'Cause it's a $25 million investment. 84 00:03:05,229 --> 00:03:06,395 I would like it to fail. 85 00:03:06,430 --> 00:03:08,965 All I can say is that 86 00:03:08,999 --> 00:03:10,867 it's harder for a woman to find the right pair of jeans 87 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,335 than it is to find the right man. 88 00:03:12,369 --> 00:03:13,937 You know, a girl wants comfort 89 00:03:13,971 --> 00:03:16,004 and a cut that accentuates her assets. 90 00:03:16,039 --> 00:03:17,873 They're just too busy, 91 00:03:17,907 --> 00:03:20,175 and, like, if that embroidery on the zipper is a tongue, 92 00:03:20,210 --> 00:03:21,777 that's just gross. 93 00:03:21,811 --> 00:03:24,613 Well, you need to come work with me, consult. 94 00:03:24,647 --> 00:03:26,115 That's so flattering, 95 00:03:26,149 --> 00:03:28,416 but I don't have any fashion design experience or resume. 96 00:03:28,451 --> 00:03:30,752 Yeah, well, guess what? I'm the boss and I don't care. 97 00:03:30,786 --> 00:03:33,487 Blake, that sounds amazing, but... 98 00:03:33,521 --> 00:03:36,690 Cricket's also the boss, and I'm pretty sure 99 00:03:36,725 --> 00:03:38,760 she even blames me for her acne in high school, 100 00:03:38,794 --> 00:03:39,927 so... (Chuckles) 101 00:03:39,962 --> 00:03:41,129 she won't like it. 102 00:03:41,163 --> 00:03:42,930 Well, you know what? I'll handle Cricket. 103 00:03:42,965 --> 00:03:46,200 My office, tomorrow, 9:00. 104 00:03:51,005 --> 00:03:53,273 I want to relocate my company from Seattle, 105 00:03:53,307 --> 00:03:54,941 but we're just having trouble 106 00:03:54,976 --> 00:03:56,576 finding the right piece of land here. 107 00:03:56,610 --> 00:04:00,147 A 500-acre chunk just came up in Alabama. 108 00:04:00,181 --> 00:04:01,714 I have to go check it out. 109 00:04:01,749 --> 00:04:03,749 Andrew, you can't check out of Texas. 110 00:04:03,784 --> 00:04:05,317 We aim to keep you around. 111 00:04:05,351 --> 00:04:07,119 (Chuckles) You just tell me what you're looking for, 112 00:04:07,154 --> 00:04:10,222 and I will deliver it to you on a silver platter. 113 00:04:10,257 --> 00:04:11,723 Sharon, Zack. How's it going? 114 00:04:11,758 --> 00:04:15,727 Pastor Tudor. I thought our sermon was so on point, 115 00:04:15,762 --> 00:04:16,962 about how we have to beware 116 00:04:16,997 --> 00:04:19,197 of people who look all nice and cuddly on the outside, 117 00:04:19,231 --> 00:04:22,566 but on the inside they're just selfish and awful. 118 00:04:22,601 --> 00:04:25,904 It really... hit... home. 119 00:04:25,938 --> 00:04:27,371 O... okay. 120 00:04:27,406 --> 00:04:29,640 I'm looking forward to your next counseling session tomorrow. 121 00:04:29,675 --> 00:04:31,843 Yeah, me, too. A lot. Can't wait. 122 00:04:31,877 --> 00:04:34,478 Ever since you encouraged her last week to "speak in truth," 123 00:04:34,513 --> 00:04:36,746 she hasn't shut up, and it seems the truth is 124 00:04:36,781 --> 00:04:38,982 I can't do anything right, never have, never will. 125 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:41,318 Now I have worked my butt off to provide her with everything. 126 00:04:41,352 --> 00:04:42,853 (Singsongy) I am the one that is working her butt off. With everything. 127 00:04:42,887 --> 00:04:44,254 Oh, well, clearly not enough, 'cause it's big... 128 00:04:44,289 --> 00:04:46,523 (gasps) Hey, hey! Flag on the play! Get... (Mutters) 129 00:04:46,557 --> 00:04:49,793 Listen, I don't think counseling can wait till tomorrow. 130 00:04:49,828 --> 00:04:52,361 You two need a reality check. 131 00:04:52,395 --> 00:04:53,930 Separation. 132 00:04:53,964 --> 00:04:55,264 - What? - Separation? 133 00:04:55,299 --> 00:04:56,699 An in-house separation. You're not appreciating 134 00:04:56,733 --> 00:04:58,334 what the other's bringing to the marriage. 135 00:04:58,368 --> 00:05:00,136 - Well, I mean, you try feeding... - You know how hard I work... 136 00:05:00,170 --> 00:05:01,971 - ...this human garbage disposal for 17... - ...to sell Lamborghinis in this economy? 137 00:05:02,005 --> 00:05:02,972 No. I... time-out. 138 00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:05,507 Zack. You look after Mckinney. 139 00:05:05,542 --> 00:05:08,009 You're in charge of the house, the cooking, and the cleaning. 140 00:05:08,044 --> 00:05:09,811 Well, how do I know what to tell the maid to do? 141 00:05:09,846 --> 00:05:11,112 I don't even know her last name. 142 00:05:11,147 --> 00:05:12,314 You're gonna give the maid the week off. 143 00:05:12,348 --> 00:05:14,615 This way, you'll appreciate what Sharon does. 144 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:15,683 Sharon? 145 00:05:15,718 --> 00:05:16,818 Mm-hmm. 146 00:05:16,853 --> 00:05:17,919 All you do is take care of your family. 147 00:05:17,954 --> 00:05:20,020 - You need some, uh, outside interests. - Mmm. 148 00:05:20,055 --> 00:05:22,457 Broaden yourself. Get out and try to find a job... 149 00:05:22,491 --> 00:05:25,559 (Scoffs) ...so you'll get a grip of what Zack's up against. 150 00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:27,228 Job? How? 151 00:05:27,262 --> 00:05:28,829 I mean, my only job experience 152 00:05:28,864 --> 00:05:31,798 is teaching debutantes how to do the Texas Deb... 153 00:05:31,833 --> 00:05:33,433 Well... no skills. 154 00:05:33,468 --> 00:05:34,935 Swing by the church tomorrow. 155 00:05:34,970 --> 00:05:36,370 I'll... I'll find something for you to do. 156 00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:40,240 This exercise will work. Okay? Try it. For me? 157 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:44,310 Whatever you say, pastor Tudor. 158 00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:45,945 God be with you. 159 00:05:45,980 --> 00:05:49,148 And with you. 160 00:05:50,251 --> 00:05:51,351 (Laughs) 161 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:56,621 Ha! 162 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,157 (Gasps) 163 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,759 Blake just told me the good news. 164 00:06:00,793 --> 00:06:01,927 (Laughs nervously) (Laughs) 165 00:06:01,961 --> 00:06:03,161 (Inhales sharply) 166 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,729 I hope you are as excited as I am. 167 00:06:04,764 --> 00:06:08,200 Oh, thanks. I'm looking forward to it. I'll see you then. 168 00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:10,269 - Hey! I see Cricket already found you. - Yeah. 169 00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:12,003 I was just welcoming her 170 00:06:12,037 --> 00:06:13,237 to the apparel division of Caruth-Reilly. (Chuckles) 171 00:06:13,272 --> 00:06:14,405 Oh, this is gonna be great. 172 00:06:14,439 --> 00:06:16,140 You'll be just down the hall from me... 173 00:06:16,174 --> 00:06:18,675 just a few feet away, within spittin' distance. 174 00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:22,513 (All chuckle) 175 00:06:22,547 --> 00:06:24,148 Yeah. 176 00:06:32,257 --> 00:06:33,225 ♪ 177 00:06:33,259 --> 00:06:37,759 GCB 1x04 - A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing Original air date March 25, 2012 178 00:06:37,784 --> 00:06:42,284 Sync and corrected by atrn97g www.addic7ed.com 179 00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:43,843 Hi, mama. 180 00:06:43,878 --> 00:06:45,012 Hi. 181 00:06:45,046 --> 00:06:46,446 Are those my old jeans? 182 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:49,216 Yeah. The mother lode of Westward Ho! and I need 'em. 183 00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:51,151 No. No. Absolutely not. 184 00:06:51,185 --> 00:06:53,686 I will not allow you out in public looking like yard trash. 185 00:06:53,721 --> 00:06:55,855 I'm not gonna wear 'em. I'm gonna rip 'em apart. 186 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:56,855 It's research. 187 00:06:56,890 --> 00:06:58,157 I got a job 188 00:06:58,191 --> 00:07:00,459 consulting with Blake on the relaunch of Westward Ho! 189 00:07:00,493 --> 00:07:02,561 Hallelujah. No more Boobylicious. 190 00:07:02,595 --> 00:07:04,196 Oh, I'm not quitting Boobylicious. 191 00:07:04,231 --> 00:07:05,898 I'm just getting a second job. 192 00:07:05,933 --> 00:07:08,700 I love employment. Bring it on. Mwah. 193 00:07:08,735 --> 00:07:10,002 - W... w... wait. Wait a minute. - What? 194 00:07:10,037 --> 00:07:11,437 I've got Bitsy and Burl and Heather 195 00:07:11,471 --> 00:07:14,406 all coming over for a tasting. Aren't you gonna stay for that? 196 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:16,141 Could use a little moral support. 197 00:07:16,175 --> 00:07:20,312 Why do you need moral support, mama? You and Burl are besties. 198 00:07:20,346 --> 00:07:21,846 Well, yes... 199 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,382 but Bitsy's just a horse's ass. 200 00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:27,218 (Doorbell rings) 201 00:07:29,354 --> 00:07:32,323 Oh. Denim. That probably does work good for you. 202 00:07:32,357 --> 00:07:33,857 Why are you here? I mean, hi. 203 00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:35,725 Ripp was insisting that we bury the hatchet... 204 00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:37,094 - Mm-hmm. - ...and he's always right, 205 00:07:37,128 --> 00:07:39,396 so I thought I'd bring Chardonnay 206 00:07:39,431 --> 00:07:41,098 and a heart full of "love thy neighbor." 207 00:07:41,132 --> 00:07:44,233 Why can no one remember that I don't drink anymore? 208 00:07:44,268 --> 00:07:46,535 Oh, Amanda, Amanda. I never forget you're an alcoholic. 209 00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:49,738 Chardonnay's my nail girl. Char! Get in here. 210 00:07:49,773 --> 00:07:51,607 - Enchante. - Ohh. 211 00:07:51,641 --> 00:07:54,710 I am giving you the gift of pedicure. 212 00:07:54,744 --> 00:07:56,245 After I saw your feet Sunday, 213 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,547 I wanted you to be able to wear open-toed shoes with confidence. 214 00:07:58,582 --> 00:07:59,849 (Burl) Howdy, everybody. 215 00:07:59,883 --> 00:08:02,117 - Burl! - Ha ha! Amanda, darling, 216 00:08:02,151 --> 00:08:04,853 - you take my breath away. You surely do. - Thank you. 217 00:08:04,887 --> 00:08:06,488 - Burl. - Oh! 218 00:08:06,522 --> 00:08:08,323 - Welcome home. Great to see ya. - Gigi, you're my favorite. 219 00:08:08,358 --> 00:08:09,657 - Bitsy. - Gigi. 220 00:08:09,692 --> 00:08:10,892 - Bye! - Bitsy. 221 00:08:10,926 --> 00:08:12,427 - Bye. - Oh, mwah. 222 00:08:12,462 --> 00:08:16,230 Okay. Everybody's here. Come on over here to help me. 223 00:08:16,264 --> 00:08:17,431 (Door opens) 224 00:08:17,466 --> 00:08:18,665 Sharon. Right on time. 225 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:21,469 Well, punctuality is one of my finer qualities. 226 00:08:21,503 --> 00:08:22,903 Have some monkey bread. 227 00:08:22,937 --> 00:08:25,172 That's mighty nice of you. I'll be with you in a sec. 228 00:08:25,207 --> 00:08:27,141 I'm in the middle of working on next week's sermon. 229 00:08:27,175 --> 00:08:31,078 (Gasps) Ooh, I'm present at the creation. 230 00:08:31,113 --> 00:08:32,379 Do you have a title? 231 00:08:32,413 --> 00:08:34,881 No title yet. It's about, uh, forbidden fruit. 232 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:38,385 Oh, I'm good with food. Um, let me think for a second. 233 00:08:38,419 --> 00:08:42,555 "Reach for forbidden fruit, find yourself in a jam." 234 00:08:42,589 --> 00:08:43,556 Not bad. 235 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:46,126 See? I'm very useful at things. 236 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:47,860 Here, let me sharpen your pencils. 237 00:08:47,895 --> 00:08:50,129 (Whir) 238 00:08:50,163 --> 00:08:51,430 (Whir) 239 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,232 Thank you. I like 'em dull. 240 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,233 Heh. 241 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,534 Okay. 242 00:08:55,568 --> 00:08:59,438 There must be... something around here I can do. 243 00:08:59,472 --> 00:09:03,208 Oh! That's from that big, old swedish furniture store. 244 00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:05,609 You know, for years, I thought that was an airplane hangar. 245 00:09:05,644 --> 00:09:09,680 It's shelves for my pastoral collection of Christ Childs. 246 00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:12,150 Let me put that together for you. 247 00:09:13,385 --> 00:09:16,521 (Clears throat) Complicated. 248 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,089 (Rustles) 249 00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:20,157 (Loud thud) 250 00:09:20,191 --> 00:09:22,192 Just gettin' started. (Chuckles) 251 00:09:22,226 --> 00:09:26,296 I'll, uh, leave you to your labors. (Chuckles) 252 00:09:27,498 --> 00:09:29,066 (Door closes) 253 00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,000 (Grunts) 254 00:09:31,035 --> 00:09:33,103 Oh! 255 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:36,838 (Whines) 256 00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:39,308 While I was looking at the old styles, 257 00:09:39,342 --> 00:09:41,143 I realized what's wrong with the redesign. 258 00:09:41,178 --> 00:09:43,212 It throws out what was great 259 00:09:43,246 --> 00:09:45,047 about the jeans in the first place. 260 00:09:45,082 --> 00:09:46,748 Instead of totally changing them, 261 00:09:46,783 --> 00:09:50,286 I want to borrow all the best elements from the past. 262 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,554 Pockets from '71, 263 00:09:52,588 --> 00:09:54,789 stitching from '73, 264 00:09:54,823 --> 00:09:57,658 taper it like the '78s, add a little lycra for stretch, 265 00:09:57,693 --> 00:10:00,495 and voila. Classic jeans for the modern woman. 266 00:10:00,529 --> 00:10:02,097 I see. 267 00:10:02,131 --> 00:10:04,765 Just so I understand... 268 00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,969 you come in here and want us to go back 269 00:10:08,003 --> 00:10:11,037 to the way things were all those years ago. 270 00:10:12,173 --> 00:10:14,074 That's your plan? 271 00:10:14,109 --> 00:10:16,477 Yes, yes, that is my plan. 272 00:10:18,513 --> 00:10:21,081 I love it. Get busy. 273 00:10:21,116 --> 00:10:23,083 I'm going to Tae Kwon Do. Don't wait up. 274 00:10:23,118 --> 00:10:25,251 Mm. 275 00:10:25,285 --> 00:10:26,385 Y... 276 00:10:26,420 --> 00:10:28,254 she said "yes." 277 00:10:28,288 --> 00:10:29,255 Mm-hmm. 278 00:10:29,289 --> 00:10:30,389 We're actually doing this. 279 00:10:30,424 --> 00:10:32,091 We are doing it, cowgirl! 280 00:10:32,126 --> 00:10:34,026 (Laughs) 281 00:10:34,060 --> 00:10:35,428 - All right, let's boogie. - Aah! 282 00:10:35,462 --> 00:10:36,862 - Okay! - Now get production in here, so we can build 283 00:10:36,896 --> 00:10:39,665 ten pairs of prototypes off Amanda's mock-ups by tonight. 284 00:10:39,699 --> 00:10:41,199 We're gonna need a look book for the buyers. 285 00:10:41,234 --> 00:10:43,101 - Armadillo Mart's coming here tomorrow at 8:00. - Okay. 286 00:10:43,136 --> 00:10:45,670 Full fashion spread. Man. 287 00:10:45,704 --> 00:10:47,339 Setting up a photo shoot and booking all those models 288 00:10:47,373 --> 00:10:48,906 last minute... that's gonna be tough. 289 00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,208 Why? Dallas is full of models. 290 00:10:50,243 --> 00:10:51,909 Yeah, but this job? It's butt-specific. 291 00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,077 I got this. 292 00:10:53,112 --> 00:10:54,579 (Beep) 293 00:10:54,614 --> 00:10:56,847 Topaz. It's Amanda. 294 00:10:56,881 --> 00:10:58,782 What are you and the other B-Girls doing tonight? 295 00:10:58,816 --> 00:11:00,884 I need some ass. 296 00:11:02,254 --> 00:11:04,622 Now my favorite chef has sent over a selection 297 00:11:04,656 --> 00:11:07,891 of his fantastic barbecue from his wonderful restaurant, 298 00:11:07,925 --> 00:11:09,493 and everything that's our favorite 299 00:11:09,528 --> 00:11:12,529 will go right on the party menu, so dig in there and enjoy it. 300 00:11:12,563 --> 00:11:14,030 Oh, Bitsy, don't you just love 301 00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:15,698 the party theme Gigi came up with? 302 00:11:15,732 --> 00:11:17,767 "Come as your favorite Texan"? 303 00:11:17,801 --> 00:11:20,069 I think it's been done before. 304 00:11:20,103 --> 00:11:23,206 Oh. This buffalo brisket falls apart perfect. 305 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,807 Just how I like it. 306 00:11:24,841 --> 00:11:26,042 Write that down, Heather. 307 00:11:26,076 --> 00:11:28,977 My antelope is fatty. 308 00:11:29,011 --> 00:11:32,714 - Honey, you know you shouldn't be eating that. - Ah... ah... 309 00:11:32,748 --> 00:11:36,285 Watching your weight, baby? This quail is a poem. Dig in. 310 00:11:36,319 --> 00:11:40,189 We don't have many more meat dishes to sample, do we? 311 00:11:40,223 --> 00:11:43,425 It's barbecue. 312 00:11:43,459 --> 00:11:44,892 Hey, sugar baby. 313 00:11:46,595 --> 00:11:48,696 You know that spread we bought near Las Colinas? 314 00:11:48,730 --> 00:11:49,997 Mm-hmm. 315 00:11:50,031 --> 00:11:53,934 I'm thinking it just might be time to off-load it. 316 00:11:53,968 --> 00:11:55,403 How big a spread? 317 00:11:55,437 --> 00:11:57,705 - 500 acres, give or take. - Mm. 318 00:11:57,739 --> 00:12:00,240 But, uncle Burl, I was hoping that land could be 319 00:12:00,274 --> 00:12:03,142 the future home of Ripp and my's "Condos for Christian living." 320 00:12:03,177 --> 00:12:04,678 What's that? 321 00:12:04,712 --> 00:12:07,146 Oh, we're gonna sell condos to christians... who live in 'em. 322 00:12:07,181 --> 00:12:10,317 Well, I own the controlling stake and I want to sell. 323 00:12:10,351 --> 00:12:12,985 You can buy me out if you want to. 324 00:12:13,020 --> 00:12:15,121 (Chuckles) 325 00:12:15,155 --> 00:12:17,456 Hey, Gigi. 326 00:12:17,490 --> 00:12:20,025 Pass me some of that venison jerky. 327 00:12:20,059 --> 00:12:22,794 (Gigi) - Mm-hmm. - Not gonna. 328 00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:23,929 Bup, bup, bup, bup. 329 00:12:23,963 --> 00:12:27,533 Oh, dear. This is gonna stain. 330 00:12:27,567 --> 00:12:28,800 Excuse me. 331 00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,002 (Footsteps recede) 332 00:12:32,971 --> 00:12:35,039 What am I looking for? 333 00:12:35,073 --> 00:12:37,975 Anything financial-like. Bank statements, forms... 334 00:12:38,009 --> 00:12:39,844 There's some papers underneath her computer. 335 00:12:39,878 --> 00:12:41,879 Take the computer. 336 00:12:41,913 --> 00:12:44,282 How's that stain going? 337 00:12:44,316 --> 00:12:45,383 Heh. 338 00:12:45,417 --> 00:12:47,719 Oh. (Chuckles) 339 00:12:47,753 --> 00:12:50,220 (Clears throat) 340 00:12:52,257 --> 00:12:53,790 (Clatter) 341 00:12:53,824 --> 00:12:55,825 Gone. 342 00:13:18,782 --> 00:13:21,048 Oh, thank goodness. I'm starving. 343 00:13:21,083 --> 00:13:23,418 The only thing they have in that church refrigerator 344 00:13:23,452 --> 00:13:25,153 is grape juice and stale bread. 345 00:13:25,187 --> 00:13:26,621 Mnh-mnh-mnh-mnh. 346 00:13:26,656 --> 00:13:30,958 I'd love to, baby, but you remember what the pastor said. 347 00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:32,694 Separate lives and all. 348 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:34,396 (Chuckles) 349 00:13:38,633 --> 00:13:40,901 So how's your day going? 350 00:13:40,935 --> 00:13:42,135 Real good. 351 00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:44,538 I cleaned out the garage, took Mckinney shopping. 352 00:13:44,572 --> 00:13:45,539 How was your day? 353 00:13:45,573 --> 00:13:47,708 Well, I made a really good first stab 354 00:13:47,742 --> 00:13:49,576 at building a shelf for pastor Tudor, 355 00:13:49,611 --> 00:13:53,045 and I feel very confident about trying again tomorrow. 356 00:13:53,079 --> 00:13:54,046 Hmm. 357 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:55,815 Mckinney. Paper plates? 358 00:13:55,849 --> 00:13:58,918 We have custom-designed pottery from Italy. 359 00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:01,587 Dad's idea. He's a genius, mom. 360 00:14:01,622 --> 00:14:05,758 Well, since Esperanca Suarez had the week off, 361 00:14:05,793 --> 00:14:07,092 there's no dishes to wash. 362 00:14:07,127 --> 00:14:08,593 You know, baby, I think you've been making things 363 00:14:08,628 --> 00:14:10,395 a little bit harder than they need to be... 364 00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:13,231 washing dishes and making food from scratch. 365 00:14:13,265 --> 00:14:14,566 Yeah, you know, 366 00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:15,734 we just nuked this in the microwave for ten minutes, 367 00:14:15,768 --> 00:14:18,236 and it's just as good as yours. 368 00:14:18,270 --> 00:14:20,405 (Chuckles) Yeah. It is. 369 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:21,473 Mm-hmm. 370 00:14:21,507 --> 00:14:23,875 Well, I underestimated you, Zack. 371 00:14:23,909 --> 00:14:29,246 I am going to go fix my French manicure. 372 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,982 (John Rich) ♪ platinum spurs and shredded-up blue jeans ♪ 373 00:14:32,016 --> 00:14:33,417 Can I get a smile? 374 00:14:33,452 --> 00:14:36,153 Oh, right. Smile. 375 00:14:36,187 --> 00:14:37,388 Nice. That'll do. 376 00:14:37,422 --> 00:14:39,990 Hey, Topaz, you're up next. Come on. 377 00:14:40,024 --> 00:14:42,191 ♪ She hit me like a mack, hit me like a mack ♪ 378 00:14:42,226 --> 00:14:44,327 That's a great shirt. 379 00:14:44,362 --> 00:14:46,162 Thanks, man. 380 00:14:46,196 --> 00:14:47,497 ♪ Hit me like a mack, hit me like a mack ♪ 381 00:14:47,531 --> 00:14:49,366 ♪ hit me like a mack ♪ 382 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:52,068 ♪ hit me like a mack truck ♪ 383 00:14:54,605 --> 00:14:55,739 (Chuckles) 384 00:14:55,773 --> 00:14:57,373 ♪ Hoo! ♪ 385 00:15:00,176 --> 00:15:01,977 ♪ aw, play the fiddle, son! ♪ 386 00:15:02,011 --> 00:15:03,379 Heh. 387 00:15:03,413 --> 00:15:05,313 You know, I've been looking for a new ranch foreman. 388 00:15:05,348 --> 00:15:06,915 I think that guy's interested. 389 00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:08,584 Hey, Blake, you know you're one of my only friends 390 00:15:08,618 --> 00:15:09,818 here in Dallas, right? 391 00:15:09,853 --> 00:15:11,887 So you don't have to explain anything to me. 392 00:15:13,054 --> 00:15:14,321 I don't judge. 393 00:15:14,356 --> 00:15:16,023 ♪ Hit me like a mack ♪ 394 00:15:16,057 --> 00:15:17,625 ♪ hit me like a mack truck ♪ 395 00:15:25,481 --> 00:15:28,282 (Cricket) Dirty dancing in public with another woman? 396 00:15:28,316 --> 00:15:30,852 It's better than dirty dancing in public with another man. 397 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:35,356 Still. Not very appropriate. You're married to me. 398 00:15:35,390 --> 00:15:37,457 Come on, Cricket. It was a photo shoot. 399 00:15:37,492 --> 00:15:38,925 Why don't you just cut Amanda some slack? 400 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,927 I let you give her a job, didn't I? 401 00:15:40,962 --> 00:15:43,630 That's about as slack as I'm gonna get. 402 00:15:43,664 --> 00:15:45,999 You know, I was thinking, um... 403 00:15:46,033 --> 00:15:47,868 maybe we should hang out with her every now and then, 404 00:15:47,902 --> 00:15:49,302 pull her into our circle. 405 00:15:49,336 --> 00:15:52,972 Blake, dearest. 406 00:15:53,006 --> 00:15:56,609 When have you seen me "hang out" with anyone? 407 00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:58,544 That whole female bonding thing... 408 00:15:58,578 --> 00:16:01,680 that is so turn-of-the-century. 409 00:16:01,715 --> 00:16:03,616 Yeah, I... I just think... 410 00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:05,885 I just think it'd be nice to... 411 00:16:05,919 --> 00:16:09,220 have someone to talk to who understands. 412 00:16:09,254 --> 00:16:11,122 You know, someone we can trust. 413 00:16:11,156 --> 00:16:13,190 Why would we want to trust anyone? 414 00:16:15,093 --> 00:16:18,095 Forget it. Bad idea. 415 00:16:19,732 --> 00:16:22,299 You were right, by the way. 416 00:16:22,334 --> 00:16:25,168 Bringing Amanda into the company was a good idea. 417 00:16:25,202 --> 00:16:28,471 I don't mind having Amanda closer... 418 00:16:28,506 --> 00:16:31,041 as long as she keeps her distance. 419 00:16:31,075 --> 00:16:32,976 (Kisses) 420 00:16:33,011 --> 00:16:35,846 (Sighs) Sorry about earlier. 421 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,347 (Chuckles) 422 00:16:37,381 --> 00:16:39,850 You just got to understand Bitsy's been... 423 00:16:39,884 --> 00:16:41,817 having a tough time lately. 424 00:16:41,852 --> 00:16:44,987 This trip around the world wasn't easy, 425 00:16:45,022 --> 00:16:48,591 and I was determined to give away every one of those bibles. 426 00:16:48,625 --> 00:16:50,426 Well, you've always been so generous. 427 00:16:50,460 --> 00:16:52,762 You got the biggest heart anybody ever knew. 428 00:16:52,796 --> 00:16:54,263 (Both chuckle) 429 00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:57,398 Yeah, that's another thing that Bitsy's stressed about. 430 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:59,601 My big heart. 431 00:16:59,635 --> 00:17:01,536 It's got big problems. 432 00:17:01,571 --> 00:17:04,238 So that's why you came back. 433 00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,807 And to see you. 434 00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:10,011 And... 435 00:17:10,046 --> 00:17:12,180 please, don't, uh... 436 00:17:12,214 --> 00:17:13,647 you know... 437 00:17:13,682 --> 00:17:17,384 I can handle anything except for a woman's tears. 438 00:17:17,418 --> 00:17:20,955 Oh, what, me? Cry? No, no. 439 00:17:20,989 --> 00:17:22,522 (Whispers) No. 440 00:17:22,557 --> 00:17:24,524 (Normal voice) I've been through too much to cry. 441 00:17:24,559 --> 00:17:27,795 Husband's death, family trauma, 442 00:17:27,829 --> 00:17:30,196 democratic administrations. 443 00:17:30,230 --> 00:17:33,066 Don't worry. I'm with you. 444 00:17:35,135 --> 00:17:37,637 Well, I hope this little favor I'm gonna ask you 445 00:17:37,671 --> 00:17:39,572 doesn't open the floodgates. 446 00:17:39,607 --> 00:17:44,276 Aw, you know darn well that you and Bitsy are both my girls, 447 00:17:44,311 --> 00:17:46,444 and there isn't anything I want more 448 00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:49,014 than for all of us to enjoy the time that I got left. 449 00:17:49,048 --> 00:17:51,583 I think I see where this favor is going, 450 00:17:51,618 --> 00:17:53,318 and there is nothing little about it. 451 00:17:53,352 --> 00:17:56,922 Yeah, I'm well aware that my dear wife can be a pill, 452 00:17:56,956 --> 00:18:00,258 but, Gigi, you are the finer Christian woman. 453 00:18:00,292 --> 00:18:04,762 That's why I'm asking you to bury the hatchet with Bitsy. 454 00:18:04,796 --> 00:18:07,331 Keep the peace. For me? 455 00:18:07,365 --> 00:18:09,566 Well, I must adore you 456 00:18:09,601 --> 00:18:14,071 because the very Lord himself would not ask this of me. 457 00:18:16,774 --> 00:18:18,742 (Ripp) There's got to be something on that computer. 458 00:18:18,776 --> 00:18:20,810 Well, of course there is, Precious. 459 00:18:20,845 --> 00:18:23,046 We know she's got a password. Could be anything... 460 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:26,182 "atheist," "liberal," "Obama." Who knows? 461 00:18:26,216 --> 00:18:27,183 (Sighs) 462 00:18:27,217 --> 00:18:28,752 (Desk rattles) 463 00:18:28,786 --> 00:18:31,855 Hello? Where am I supposed to type up my English paper? 464 00:18:31,889 --> 00:18:32,988 Type it right there. 465 00:18:33,023 --> 00:18:34,990 I can't concentrate with parents around. 466 00:18:35,025 --> 00:18:36,992 Well, son, you should have thought about that 467 00:18:37,027 --> 00:18:39,594 the last time you took the family computer upstairs 468 00:18:39,629 --> 00:18:41,263 and ordered all those subversive books. 469 00:18:41,297 --> 00:18:43,098 "Harry Potter" isn't subversive, mama. 470 00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,399 Only one man does magic, 471 00:18:44,433 --> 00:18:47,302 and he's from Jerusalem, not Hogwarts. 472 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:50,972 You gotta go back over there and get Amanda's computer. 473 00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:52,506 Now wait a second. 474 00:18:52,541 --> 00:18:55,176 I was prepared to put my better judgment aside 475 00:18:55,210 --> 00:18:56,477 and befriend Amanda, 476 00:18:56,511 --> 00:18:59,681 but now you're talking about breaking number eight. 477 00:18:59,715 --> 00:19:00,982 We don't steal. 478 00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:02,449 It's not stealing. 479 00:19:02,484 --> 00:19:05,351 It's borrowing, and it's for a higher purpose... 480 00:19:05,386 --> 00:19:08,454 to bring a thief, Bill Vaughn, to justice. 481 00:19:08,489 --> 00:19:12,125 Think of his innocent victims, everything they lost... 482 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:14,795 the secretaries, the teachers, 483 00:19:14,829 --> 00:19:16,029 the widows. 484 00:19:16,064 --> 00:19:17,831 Oh. 485 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:21,134 Well, we may have to sell a plane. 486 00:19:23,870 --> 00:19:26,306 Once again, 487 00:19:26,340 --> 00:19:29,075 you've shone a light unto my path. 488 00:19:29,109 --> 00:19:35,281 (Elizabeth Cook) ♪ Sometimes it takes balls to be a woman ♪ 489 00:19:36,617 --> 00:19:39,651 ♪ standing up to a test ♪ 490 00:19:39,686 --> 00:19:42,921 ♪ while wearing a party dress ♪ 491 00:19:42,955 --> 00:19:46,491 ♪ sometimes looks can be deceiving ♪ 492 00:19:46,526 --> 00:19:49,928 ♪ when you're quietly overachieving ♪ 493 00:19:49,962 --> 00:19:56,367 ♪ oh, sometimes it takes balls to be a woman ♪ 494 00:19:56,401 --> 00:20:00,538 ♪ oh, sometimes it takes balls to be ♪ 495 00:20:00,572 --> 00:20:03,407 ♪ a woman ♪ 496 00:20:03,442 --> 00:20:05,376 (Giggles) 497 00:20:05,410 --> 00:20:09,446 ♪ It takes balls to be a woman ♪ 498 00:20:13,718 --> 00:20:15,084 (Speaks indistinctly) 499 00:20:15,119 --> 00:20:16,620 What's going on? 500 00:20:16,654 --> 00:20:17,621 Complication. 501 00:20:17,655 --> 00:20:18,722 The pictures we took last night 502 00:20:18,756 --> 00:20:20,357 got leaked to a religious web site. 503 00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,225 Now we got a whole lot of righteous indignation. 504 00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:23,926 Why? They aren't that bad. 505 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,161 Well, not by themselves, 506 00:20:25,195 --> 00:20:27,296 but when paired with the phrase "Westward Ho!"... 507 00:20:27,330 --> 00:20:29,732 Come on. Seriously? They think when we say "ho," we mean... 508 00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:32,668 "Hooker, harlot, trollop, wench, tart, floozy..." 509 00:20:32,702 --> 00:20:33,969 "Whore." 510 00:20:34,003 --> 00:20:37,439 This particular photo seems to be the flash point. 511 00:20:37,474 --> 00:20:40,276 Well, anyone attending church last Sunday 512 00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:42,244 could certainly pin the tail on that donkey. 513 00:20:42,278 --> 00:20:44,679 As God is my witness, I'll never wear pants to church again. 514 00:20:44,713 --> 00:20:46,982 What seems to have caused Bootygate 515 00:20:47,016 --> 00:20:51,486 were posts from a "lordlover87" on some religious watchdog blogs 516 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,089 known for targeting brands they deem "non-family-friendly." 517 00:20:54,123 --> 00:20:56,124 After that, it just took off, 518 00:20:56,159 --> 00:20:58,558 spreading like kudzu across faith-based web sites. 519 00:20:58,593 --> 00:21:00,594 I recommend we start with a public apology. 520 00:21:00,628 --> 00:21:02,663 Then of course we're gonna have to scrap the product 521 00:21:02,697 --> 00:21:04,631 and eat the $25 million loss. 522 00:21:04,666 --> 00:21:06,233 I'm sorry. This is my fault. 523 00:21:06,268 --> 00:21:08,669 If I hadn't suggested redoing the design in the first place 524 00:21:08,703 --> 00:21:11,138 and taken those photos, we wouldn't be in this mess. 525 00:21:11,173 --> 00:21:14,007 Amanda, you have nothin' to be sorry for. 526 00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:15,809 Your idea was better, and we went with it. 527 00:21:15,843 --> 00:21:18,611 We stick together here at Caruth... 528 00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:20,313 all of us. 529 00:21:23,550 --> 00:21:26,585 And we are not issuing an apology. 530 00:21:29,223 --> 00:21:31,456 Cricket has my back? 531 00:21:31,490 --> 00:21:34,726 In what bizarro parallel universe could that ever happen? 532 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,964 She always surprises me. That's why I love her. 533 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:41,533 Hey, don't sweat it. She's gonna figure out a way to fix this. 534 00:21:41,567 --> 00:21:45,370 No, I'm gonna fix it. I owe it to Cricket. 535 00:21:45,404 --> 00:21:48,373 This whole thing started with a single blogger, 536 00:21:48,407 --> 00:21:49,941 this lordlover87, right? 537 00:21:49,975 --> 00:21:54,212 Yeah, that's right. 538 00:21:54,246 --> 00:21:55,980 (Beep) 539 00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:59,517 Hey. It's Amanda. Can I ask you a favor? 540 00:21:59,552 --> 00:22:01,018 But you're gonna have to break the law. 541 00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,655 Excellent. You got a pen, Andrew? Write this down. 542 00:22:04,689 --> 00:22:08,826 Lordlover87. Can you find out who that is? 543 00:22:08,860 --> 00:22:10,861 Great. 544 00:22:10,895 --> 00:22:13,063 You make me want to slap my mama. 545 00:22:13,097 --> 00:22:14,465 (Laughs) 546 00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:17,000 (Laughs) 547 00:22:17,034 --> 00:22:18,668 Mmm. 548 00:22:27,341 --> 00:22:28,742 (Burl) Mighty pretty. 549 00:22:28,777 --> 00:22:31,045 Barbara Bush. 550 00:22:31,079 --> 00:22:32,746 Now that's what I call a woman. 551 00:22:32,781 --> 00:22:34,648 She birthed a dynasty. (Burl chuckles) 552 00:22:34,683 --> 00:22:36,283 It's simply divine. 553 00:22:36,317 --> 00:22:38,085 You've outdone yourself, Gigi. 554 00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:40,553 Yeah, how on earth did you convince the Dallas opera 555 00:22:40,588 --> 00:22:42,254 to lend us their designers for the party? 556 00:22:42,289 --> 00:22:44,090 Quid pro quo, darling. 557 00:22:44,124 --> 00:22:46,993 I get an afternoon of the costume department's time, 558 00:22:47,027 --> 00:22:49,062 "Aida" gets real elephants. 559 00:22:49,096 --> 00:22:50,797 Did you find your favorite Texan yet? 560 00:22:50,831 --> 00:22:52,899 I'm just two gold hoops shy of Selena. 561 00:22:52,933 --> 00:22:55,767 I do need another accessory, 562 00:22:55,802 --> 00:22:58,604 a little sidekick. 563 00:22:58,638 --> 00:23:00,505 Gigi, 564 00:23:00,539 --> 00:23:03,709 you be my Laura Bush. 565 00:23:09,649 --> 00:23:13,084 Oh, come on. Roll with it, Gigi. 566 00:23:13,118 --> 00:23:14,852 Two Bushes are always better than one. 567 00:23:14,886 --> 00:23:17,454 Ooh, so true. So true. (Giggles) 568 00:23:17,489 --> 00:23:20,925 Well, I guess since y'all are the guests of the honor, 569 00:23:20,959 --> 00:23:23,861 I might be able to dig up a pair of flats. 570 00:23:23,895 --> 00:23:25,262 - Burl. - Mm. 571 00:23:25,296 --> 00:23:28,164 Go pick out your neckerchief so we can get out of here. 572 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,165 (Car horn honks) 573 00:23:29,199 --> 00:23:30,433 Ooh! 574 00:23:30,467 --> 00:23:32,836 Who is that tacky enough to honk out there? 575 00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,605 Oh, yes. I think part of my costume just arrived. 576 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:37,540 Gigi, be a love. Help me feed it. 577 00:23:37,574 --> 00:23:39,109 Feed it? 578 00:23:40,911 --> 00:23:43,146 (Door opens and closes) 579 00:23:43,180 --> 00:23:45,213 What color shirt you wearing? 580 00:23:45,248 --> 00:23:46,548 Purple and black. 581 00:23:46,582 --> 00:23:49,051 In that case, the red paisley's what you want. 582 00:23:49,085 --> 00:23:51,787 And just what is it that you want? 583 00:23:51,821 --> 00:23:54,389 Okay. 584 00:23:54,423 --> 00:23:57,693 It's about that land you own near Las Colinas. 585 00:23:57,727 --> 00:24:01,162 I got an all-cash buyer ready to double your best offer. 586 00:24:01,196 --> 00:24:02,930 Sorry. 587 00:24:02,965 --> 00:24:05,667 Already promised my niece first shot. 588 00:24:05,701 --> 00:24:07,635 - Family comes first, right? - Mm. 589 00:24:07,670 --> 00:24:10,337 Such a shame what could happen, though. 590 00:24:10,372 --> 00:24:13,274 Well, you know that Carlene wants to develop the property 591 00:24:13,308 --> 00:24:15,043 as an all-Christian condo complex? 592 00:24:15,077 --> 00:24:16,576 And you also know that 593 00:24:16,610 --> 00:24:19,680 that violates the fair housing act of 1968. 594 00:24:19,714 --> 00:24:22,149 We still stuck with that? 595 00:24:22,183 --> 00:24:25,886 And as both seller and Carlene's uncle, 596 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,387 I would just hate to see you hit 597 00:24:27,421 --> 00:24:29,589 with a class-action civil rights complaint. 598 00:24:29,623 --> 00:24:31,158 All for being Christian. 599 00:24:31,192 --> 00:24:33,726 When will the persecution end? 600 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,495 When you let me take care of the whole thing. 601 00:24:38,799 --> 00:24:41,734 What's Dale Evans without her trusty buckskin buttermilk? 602 00:24:41,768 --> 00:24:42,968 Yep. 603 00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:46,038 When it comes to theme parties, I go big or I go home. 604 00:24:46,073 --> 00:24:48,472 (Grunts) Ah! 605 00:24:48,507 --> 00:24:52,711 Um, I want to show Amanda and the kids, uh, buttermilk. 606 00:24:52,745 --> 00:24:54,612 Are they here? 607 00:24:54,646 --> 00:24:57,515 No. 608 00:24:57,549 --> 00:24:58,917 Just us. 609 00:24:58,951 --> 00:25:01,519 You know, I'm actually glad it's you giving the party. 610 00:25:01,553 --> 00:25:05,022 I can tell how much it means to uncle Burl. 611 00:25:16,234 --> 00:25:19,236 (Sniffles) 612 00:25:24,608 --> 00:25:27,710 (Sniffles, sighs) 613 00:25:30,781 --> 00:25:32,314 Go on back in, you old coot. 614 00:25:32,349 --> 00:25:36,285 I thought I warned you about tears. 615 00:25:36,319 --> 00:25:37,620 Hmm? 616 00:25:37,654 --> 00:25:40,623 Well, you just have to forgive me... 617 00:25:42,191 --> 00:25:43,592 (Sighs) 618 00:25:43,627 --> 00:25:44,926 (Voice breaking) ...but just the thought of you dying 619 00:25:44,961 --> 00:25:50,299 has put a little crimp in my day. 620 00:25:50,333 --> 00:25:52,300 No, no, no. (Sobs) 621 00:25:54,069 --> 00:25:56,971 I'm not going anywhere yet. 622 00:25:57,005 --> 00:25:59,741 Ya hear? 623 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,247 (Kisses) 624 00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:12,819 (Pats leg) 625 00:26:12,853 --> 00:26:15,155 (Footsteps approaching) 626 00:26:15,189 --> 00:26:19,993 (Bitsy) Ohh. I just got such a migraine. 627 00:26:20,027 --> 00:26:21,328 Better take her home. 628 00:26:21,362 --> 00:26:22,929 They turn her into the wicked witch. 629 00:26:22,963 --> 00:26:25,931 Could I offer an aspirin or a broom? 630 00:26:25,965 --> 00:26:27,800 Oh, Gigi. 631 00:26:27,834 --> 00:26:30,603 Thank you so much for feeding my filly. 632 00:26:30,637 --> 00:26:32,471 I will see y'all tonight. 633 00:26:34,441 --> 00:26:36,875 (Door opens) 634 00:26:36,910 --> 00:26:40,612 (Rattling) Landry? Oh. You're a fast typer. 635 00:26:40,646 --> 00:26:43,281 Oh, you're not typing at all. 636 00:26:43,316 --> 00:26:44,449 Oh, my Heavens. 637 00:26:44,483 --> 00:26:45,617 Oh, my God. Mom! 638 00:26:45,651 --> 00:26:48,453 Ohh! Lord have mercy! 639 00:26:48,487 --> 00:26:49,621 (Thud) 640 00:26:49,655 --> 00:26:53,525 (Gasping) 641 00:26:53,559 --> 00:26:55,560 Aah! Oh! 642 00:26:55,594 --> 00:26:56,893 (Pants) Oh. 643 00:26:56,928 --> 00:26:58,161 (Thud) 644 00:27:04,642 --> 00:27:06,142 (Sighs) Daddybo's calling. 645 00:27:06,176 --> 00:27:07,476 What does that mean? 646 00:27:07,511 --> 00:27:09,277 - Trouble. - Ugh. 647 00:27:09,311 --> 00:27:11,813 No, I... I understand. 648 00:27:14,784 --> 00:27:16,985 Well, if a son wouldn't let this happen, 649 00:27:17,020 --> 00:27:19,788 I wish you could have had one. 650 00:27:22,291 --> 00:27:24,124 (Hangs up receiver) 651 00:27:24,159 --> 00:27:27,161 Armadillo Mart is pulling its orders. 652 00:27:27,195 --> 00:27:28,763 For the jeans? 653 00:27:28,797 --> 00:27:30,064 For everything. 654 00:27:31,633 --> 00:27:33,100 Cricket, is there any... 655 00:27:33,134 --> 00:27:35,803 No, just... just give us a second. 656 00:27:43,678 --> 00:27:46,379 (Sighs) 657 00:27:46,413 --> 00:27:47,681 Where you been? 658 00:27:47,715 --> 00:27:49,683 I took Amanda's computer back. 659 00:27:49,717 --> 00:27:51,851 I had to, Ripp. I just had to. 660 00:27:51,886 --> 00:27:53,152 You returned it? 661 00:27:53,187 --> 00:27:55,754 Before I had a chance to download the hard drive? Why? 662 00:27:55,789 --> 00:27:58,991 Ripp, you don't get it, do you? I am done with this. 663 00:27:59,025 --> 00:28:00,759 We need what's on that computer. 664 00:28:00,794 --> 00:28:03,528 It gains us access to the tiniest details 665 00:28:03,563 --> 00:28:04,964 of her financial history, 666 00:28:04,998 --> 00:28:07,299 maybe even her conversations with Bill if he's still alive. 667 00:28:07,333 --> 00:28:08,433 Now you agreed to help. 668 00:28:08,468 --> 00:28:11,036 When I walked in on our son greasing his gun, 669 00:28:11,071 --> 00:28:12,570 I was being punished. 670 00:28:12,605 --> 00:28:14,238 The Lord was sending me a sign, 671 00:28:14,272 --> 00:28:17,241 and on that billboard, it said, "thou shalt not snoop." 672 00:28:17,275 --> 00:28:19,877 Now God does not want me looking in on just anybody, 673 00:28:19,912 --> 00:28:22,213 least of all Amanda Vaughn! 674 00:28:22,247 --> 00:28:24,649 Now, kitten... 675 00:28:27,852 --> 00:28:29,219 I am your husband. 676 00:28:29,253 --> 00:28:31,554 Yes, 677 00:28:31,589 --> 00:28:35,592 but there's one man whose orders come before yours, 678 00:28:35,627 --> 00:28:37,560 and I'm gonna talk to him right now. 679 00:28:37,595 --> 00:28:38,929 Y... 680 00:28:38,963 --> 00:28:40,864 Excuse me. 681 00:28:49,339 --> 00:28:53,042 (Stomping) 682 00:29:06,689 --> 00:29:10,625 It's not the photos that caused the controversy. It's the name. 683 00:29:10,660 --> 00:29:12,193 So if we want to save the brand, 684 00:29:12,227 --> 00:29:14,395 we have to change what's on the label. 685 00:29:14,429 --> 00:29:18,231 Instead of "Westward Ho!"... how about calling it... 686 00:29:18,266 --> 00:29:20,701 "Westward Hosannah." 687 00:29:20,735 --> 00:29:22,435 Gospel Mark 11:9. 688 00:29:22,470 --> 00:29:25,139 "Hosanna! Blessed it is he who comes in the name of the Lord!" 689 00:29:25,173 --> 00:29:26,807 Maybe now the jeans can appeal 690 00:29:26,841 --> 00:29:28,408 to the very same people we offended. 691 00:29:28,442 --> 00:29:30,144 (Laughs) Whoo! 692 00:29:30,178 --> 00:29:31,145 Aah! 693 00:29:31,179 --> 00:29:33,046 You are bringing it, cowgirl! 694 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:36,082 Yes, you... are. 695 00:29:36,116 --> 00:29:37,750 (Both laugh) 696 00:29:37,785 --> 00:29:40,086 (Sharon) Zack, shouldn't you be getting ready for the party? 697 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,056 Oops. Sorry, babe. I was just getting dinner for Mckinney. 698 00:29:43,090 --> 00:29:44,423 Wow. 699 00:29:44,457 --> 00:29:48,259 You are so totally Anna Nicole Smith. 700 00:29:48,294 --> 00:29:51,262 And with a little more flour in your hair and a wheelchair, 701 00:29:51,297 --> 00:29:54,666 you'll be so totally J. Howard Marshall. 702 00:29:54,701 --> 00:29:57,936 Mckinney said that the microwave pizza was giving her zits, 703 00:29:57,970 --> 00:29:59,437 and apparently yours doesn't, 704 00:29:59,471 --> 00:30:02,273 so I was just trying to do what you do so well. 705 00:30:02,308 --> 00:30:06,410 The secret is the buffalo mozzarella. It's less oily. 706 00:30:06,444 --> 00:30:09,279 I'm sorry I said the microwave pizza was better than yours. 707 00:30:09,314 --> 00:30:11,281 It's not. 708 00:30:11,316 --> 00:30:12,516 I love you, Sharon. 709 00:30:12,550 --> 00:30:16,887 I love you, too, Zack. 710 00:30:16,922 --> 00:30:19,356 Oh, everything I've been trying to do around here... 711 00:30:19,390 --> 00:30:22,759 you do it so much better and so effortlessly. 712 00:30:22,793 --> 00:30:25,028 I so underestimated you. 713 00:30:25,062 --> 00:30:27,263 So tomorrow, when this exercise is finally over, 714 00:30:27,297 --> 00:30:28,998 can you make your persimmon strudel? 715 00:30:29,033 --> 00:30:30,466 And maybe some egg tacos 716 00:30:30,500 --> 00:30:33,002 and... and your... your pecan waffles? 717 00:30:34,004 --> 00:30:35,938 Yeah, I could do that. 718 00:30:35,972 --> 00:30:38,340 Oh, it's gonna be so good getting back to normal 719 00:30:38,374 --> 00:30:40,109 now that I've finally learned my lesson. 720 00:30:40,143 --> 00:30:43,112 Uh, what lesson is that, exactly, Zack? 721 00:30:43,146 --> 00:30:45,680 Saying "thank you" for everything you do. 722 00:30:45,715 --> 00:30:49,852 I don't think that that was the point of the exercise. 723 00:30:49,886 --> 00:30:52,386 Well, you know best. 724 00:30:52,420 --> 00:30:54,521 Gotta go put my wig on. 725 00:30:56,091 --> 00:30:58,325 Why don't you go on ahead to the party? 726 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,062 I'm gonna clean up, and I'll meet you there. 727 00:31:01,096 --> 00:31:03,164 Okay. 728 00:31:12,173 --> 00:31:15,175 ♪ 729 00:31:22,850 --> 00:31:24,316 (Chuckles) 730 00:31:24,350 --> 00:31:26,652 Hey. 731 00:31:26,686 --> 00:31:29,421 Bonnie and Clyde robbed one of my granddaddy's banks. 732 00:31:29,422 --> 00:31:30,890 We're young, we're beautiful... 733 00:31:30,924 --> 00:31:33,425 And we kill people. 734 00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:34,860 How fun is that? 735 00:31:34,895 --> 00:31:37,696 (All chuckle) 736 00:31:37,764 --> 00:31:38,964 Uh, listen... 737 00:31:38,965 --> 00:31:42,100 um, now that you're coming here to Dallas, 738 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,769 you think you may be staying put, putting down some roots? 739 00:31:44,804 --> 00:31:47,505 Maybe this will answer your question... 740 00:31:47,539 --> 00:31:49,073 (gasps) 741 00:31:49,108 --> 00:31:51,276 For giving me a reason to stay. 742 00:31:52,812 --> 00:31:54,913 Thank you. 743 00:31:54,947 --> 00:31:56,713 Hey, Farrah. 744 00:31:56,747 --> 00:31:59,783 Look what Andrew gave me. (Chuckles) 745 00:31:59,818 --> 00:32:00,818 Ohh. 746 00:32:00,852 --> 00:32:02,719 - I know. - Amanda. 747 00:32:02,753 --> 00:32:04,188 - Hmm? - I have something for you, too. 748 00:32:04,222 --> 00:32:06,190 Uh, you know that blog you wanted me to check out? 749 00:32:06,224 --> 00:32:09,259 Lordlover87 posted from an unlisted cell. 750 00:32:09,294 --> 00:32:10,560 Here's the number. 751 00:32:10,594 --> 00:32:13,429 B-T-Dubs, the technology I used to find him? 752 00:32:13,463 --> 00:32:16,098 I really don't want to piss off... (Whispers) the CIA, so... 753 00:32:16,133 --> 00:32:19,468 Zip it. This is so much better than earrings. 754 00:32:19,502 --> 00:32:21,437 I owe you big time. 755 00:32:21,471 --> 00:32:22,705 Excuse me, guys. 756 00:32:28,711 --> 00:32:31,880 (Cell phone rings) 757 00:32:34,050 --> 00:32:35,884 Hello? 758 00:32:37,286 --> 00:32:38,653 Hello? 759 00:32:49,682 --> 00:32:51,282 Dear Lord, 760 00:32:52,116 --> 00:32:54,151 I sit at the scene of my crime, 761 00:32:54,185 --> 00:32:57,988 a crime that has me at a crossroads. 762 00:32:58,022 --> 00:33:02,292 How can I honor my husband when what he wants me to do is wrong? 763 00:33:02,327 --> 00:33:03,894 (Sighs) Oh. 764 00:33:03,928 --> 00:33:07,063 Lord, grant us the knowledge that Ripp desires 765 00:33:07,097 --> 00:33:09,098 in a way that upholds your holy word, 766 00:33:09,132 --> 00:33:12,802 and forgive me in my time of weakness, 767 00:33:12,837 --> 00:33:16,439 and forgive Ripp for letting vengeance cloud his judgment, 768 00:33:16,474 --> 00:33:17,940 and forgive Landry 769 00:33:17,975 --> 00:33:20,209 for letting lust guide his hand to his little mister. 770 00:33:20,244 --> 00:33:21,877 (Amanda) - Carlene? - Hmm? 771 00:33:21,911 --> 00:33:26,181 Oh. Amanda. I just... I needed a moment of reflection. 772 00:33:27,517 --> 00:33:29,485 The Cockburns are in crisis. 773 00:33:29,519 --> 00:33:31,920 Amanda. 774 00:33:31,954 --> 00:33:33,955 Come. Come. 775 00:33:37,058 --> 00:33:38,426 (Sighs) 776 00:33:38,460 --> 00:33:39,894 It was awful. 777 00:33:39,928 --> 00:33:41,262 My own son... 778 00:33:41,296 --> 00:33:43,163 in our living room, on our sofa... 779 00:33:43,198 --> 00:33:44,432 which I now have to burn. 780 00:33:44,466 --> 00:33:46,133 He was being led astray... 781 00:33:46,167 --> 00:33:47,502 (Clicks) 782 00:33:47,536 --> 00:33:48,736 by this. 783 00:33:48,771 --> 00:33:51,272 Oh, my gosh. That's... (Whispers) horrible. 784 00:33:51,306 --> 00:33:53,640 - That's so... (Normal voice) so horrible. - Yeah. 785 00:33:53,674 --> 00:33:55,341 - Let's put that away. - Okay. 786 00:33:55,376 --> 00:33:59,078 Have you ever had trouble like this with your son Will? 787 00:33:59,113 --> 00:34:00,547 Of course you have. What am I saying? 788 00:34:00,581 --> 00:34:03,249 You lived in California. Everyone's touching themselves. 789 00:34:03,284 --> 00:34:04,918 Have you actually been to California? 790 00:34:04,952 --> 00:34:07,353 Last stop to the apocalypse? No, thanks. 791 00:34:07,388 --> 00:34:09,955 Well, to answer your question, 792 00:34:09,989 --> 00:34:14,259 if I caught will doing what Landry was doing, 793 00:34:14,294 --> 00:34:16,829 I'd wash my eyeballs out... (Chuckles) 794 00:34:16,863 --> 00:34:20,132 and then I'd hand off the situation to his dad. 795 00:34:20,166 --> 00:34:22,167 It's not really an option for me anymore. 796 00:34:23,870 --> 00:34:27,572 I can't imagine how difficult it must be 797 00:34:27,606 --> 00:34:30,374 to raise a son without a father. 798 00:34:30,409 --> 00:34:32,877 When they called me to I.D. Bill's body, 799 00:34:32,912 --> 00:34:36,180 and I saw him lying there, first thing I thought was, 800 00:34:36,214 --> 00:34:40,117 "my God. Will doesn't have a daddy anymore." 801 00:34:40,152 --> 00:34:42,218 Um... 802 00:34:42,253 --> 00:34:45,722 Bill's funeral... was it open casket? 803 00:34:45,757 --> 00:34:46,857 Mm-hmm. 804 00:34:46,891 --> 00:34:50,060 H... how did he look? D... did he look like himself? 805 00:34:50,094 --> 00:34:51,595 Yes. 806 00:34:52,730 --> 00:34:53,831 Why, Carlene? 807 00:34:53,865 --> 00:34:55,165 Oh, I'm just curious. 808 00:34:55,199 --> 00:34:57,567 I'm always looking for ways to appear more lifelike. 809 00:34:57,601 --> 00:34:59,234 - Okay. - Thank you. 810 00:34:59,269 --> 00:35:01,103 - Thank you. - Bye. 811 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,206 Vodka rocks. 812 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:07,543 Darling, for your costume to work, stay close. 813 00:35:07,578 --> 00:35:10,613 People are asking if you came as a librarian. 814 00:35:10,647 --> 00:35:13,882 Laura Bush was a librarian. 815 00:35:13,916 --> 00:35:16,451 Shall we start the toast soon? 816 00:35:16,486 --> 00:35:20,288 Um, I need to speak before Burl does. (Chuckles) 817 00:35:20,322 --> 00:35:24,192 I have a large and very surprising announcement to make. 818 00:35:24,226 --> 00:35:25,760 Should I have made this a double? 819 00:35:25,795 --> 00:35:26,995 A triple. 820 00:35:28,097 --> 00:35:30,230 We're going back on the yacht, 821 00:35:30,264 --> 00:35:32,533 leaving Dallas for good. 822 00:35:33,735 --> 00:35:36,670 You know Burl's not up to a trip like that. 823 00:35:36,705 --> 00:35:39,106 Would you have him die away from his home? 824 00:35:39,140 --> 00:35:42,009 No. Away from you, my dear. 825 00:35:42,043 --> 00:35:46,045 Don't think I don't see how you two look at each other. 826 00:35:46,079 --> 00:35:48,848 It's been going on since we were debutantes. 827 00:35:48,883 --> 00:35:53,352 Little knowing glances, the in-jokes, the... 828 00:35:53,387 --> 00:35:55,454 kiss on your back porch. 829 00:35:55,489 --> 00:35:56,623 That is not what you think it was. 830 00:35:56,657 --> 00:35:57,824 At least now I know 831 00:35:57,858 --> 00:35:59,792 why he really wanted to come back to Dallas. 832 00:35:59,827 --> 00:36:03,128 Obviously, you are number one on his bucket list. 833 00:36:03,162 --> 00:36:06,732 The welcome home is now a bon voyage. 834 00:36:12,138 --> 00:36:15,240 Kitten, I would hate for you to think of me as a villain. 835 00:36:15,274 --> 00:36:17,074 Oh, honey, I don't. 836 00:36:17,108 --> 00:36:19,176 We can't forget that staying on the path 837 00:36:19,210 --> 00:36:21,412 is sometimes better than a shortcut. 838 00:36:23,782 --> 00:36:26,651 (Lowered voice) Bill Vaughn is definitely dead. 839 00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:28,920 (Lowered voice) How do you know? 840 00:36:28,954 --> 00:36:32,589 Amanda told me. She I.D.'d the body and everything. 841 00:36:32,623 --> 00:36:34,290 Now no matter what we lost to that man, 842 00:36:34,324 --> 00:36:35,625 let's just put it behind us. 843 00:36:35,660 --> 00:36:37,894 It's not healthy for our marriage, 844 00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:39,395 even though all that fighting 845 00:36:39,430 --> 00:36:41,598 makes the making up so much more fun. 846 00:36:41,632 --> 00:36:42,966 You know, 847 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,068 I still got that Roy Rogers outfit across the street. 848 00:36:45,102 --> 00:36:48,171 Maybe, uh, later, Dale Evans would like to ride trigger. 849 00:36:48,205 --> 00:36:50,706 (Gasps) Ripp Cockburn! (Laughs) 850 00:36:51,908 --> 00:36:54,944 Carlene, darling. Just who I was hoping to see. 851 00:36:54,978 --> 00:36:56,411 Excuse me, uncle Burl. 852 00:36:56,446 --> 00:36:58,213 Ripp. 853 00:36:59,683 --> 00:37:01,283 (Lowered voice) I got news for you. 854 00:37:01,317 --> 00:37:02,985 (Whispers) Yeah. 855 00:37:03,019 --> 00:37:05,954 I pawned that land of ours off on some Internet fool 856 00:37:05,988 --> 00:37:09,991 from Seattle willing to pay twice what it's worth. 857 00:37:10,025 --> 00:37:13,828 But... (Sighs) what about my condos for Christian living? 858 00:37:13,862 --> 00:37:17,364 Darling, I had my lawyers look into that project. 859 00:37:17,399 --> 00:37:20,701 You'd be breaking 17 federal statutes. 860 00:37:20,735 --> 00:37:23,770 However, we might be able to finagle something 861 00:37:23,805 --> 00:37:27,007 across the border in unincorporated Juarez. 862 00:37:27,041 --> 00:37:28,609 (Rick Trevino's "Better in Texas" playing) 863 00:37:28,643 --> 00:37:31,311 Thank you, uncle Burl. Thank you. 864 00:37:31,345 --> 00:37:33,513 (Chuckles) Anything for my favorite niece. 865 00:37:33,547 --> 00:37:36,782 Mwah. (Chuckles) 866 00:37:39,152 --> 00:37:41,453 (Sips) 867 00:37:41,488 --> 00:37:43,022 When you flip me around like that... 868 00:37:43,056 --> 00:37:44,323 (Speaks indistinctly) 869 00:37:44,357 --> 00:37:47,860 ♪ I left my heart down in Mexico ♪ 870 00:37:47,894 --> 00:37:52,264 ♪ some señorita not so long ago ♪ 871 00:37:52,298 --> 00:37:53,865 ♪ who I thought about ♪ 872 00:37:53,899 --> 00:37:55,867 Well, congratulations, y'all. 873 00:37:55,901 --> 00:37:58,436 I just heard someone made a big old land purchase 874 00:37:58,470 --> 00:38:00,304 right here in our fair city. 875 00:38:00,339 --> 00:38:02,540 That must have been a nice little commission for you. 876 00:38:02,574 --> 00:38:06,678 Actually, I earned a big commission... very big. 877 00:38:06,712 --> 00:38:08,679 Oh, nice earrings. 878 00:38:08,713 --> 00:38:10,748 Guess you earned those, too? 879 00:38:10,782 --> 00:38:14,718 You know, I love your Dale Evans and the horse you rode in on. 880 00:38:14,753 --> 00:38:16,520 And I love your Selena. 881 00:38:16,554 --> 00:38:18,022 Someone shot her, right? 882 00:38:18,056 --> 00:38:21,992 ♪ Now I know everything is better here in Texas ♪ 883 00:38:22,027 --> 00:38:24,161 She seems nice. 884 00:38:24,195 --> 00:38:27,664 ♪ Dancing the floor in helotes ♪ 885 00:38:27,698 --> 00:38:29,265 Who the heck are you? 886 00:38:29,299 --> 00:38:32,201 My favorite Texan... me. 887 00:38:32,235 --> 00:38:33,736 (Chuckles) 888 00:38:33,771 --> 00:38:35,237 I love Laura Bush, 889 00:38:35,272 --> 00:38:38,841 but her get-up was depressing me. 890 00:38:38,876 --> 00:38:41,643 (Lowered voice) What would you say if I told you 891 00:38:41,678 --> 00:38:44,079 that the whole time Cricket was rallying around my idea, 892 00:38:44,113 --> 00:38:47,849 she was secretly behind all the protests at "Westward Ho!"? 893 00:38:47,884 --> 00:38:51,053 She wanted to keep me from working with Blake so bad, 894 00:38:51,087 --> 00:38:53,621 she was willing to fall on her own corporate sword... 895 00:38:53,656 --> 00:38:56,524 even worse, disappoint her father. 896 00:38:56,559 --> 00:38:59,727 (Lowered voice) Well, on the one hand, I'd say it's psychotic. 897 00:39:01,462 --> 00:39:03,164 (Exhales deeply) On the other, 898 00:39:03,198 --> 00:39:07,334 I'd say it's not the craziest thing a jealous woman ever did. 899 00:39:07,368 --> 00:39:09,837 Mama, can you keep a secret? 900 00:39:12,240 --> 00:39:15,241 Blake and Cricket don't have a traditional marriage. 901 00:39:15,275 --> 00:39:18,812 She wouldn't be jealous of another woman. Trust me. 902 00:39:18,846 --> 00:39:21,114 (Whispers) Oh. So they do have a white marriage. 903 00:39:21,148 --> 00:39:22,448 I'd always wondered. 904 00:39:22,482 --> 00:39:23,850 (Whispers) What's a white marriage? 905 00:39:23,884 --> 00:39:25,018 (Lowered voice) It's when the husband and wife 906 00:39:25,052 --> 00:39:26,519 keep their boots on the opposite side of the bed, 907 00:39:26,553 --> 00:39:28,121 if you know what I mean. 908 00:39:28,155 --> 00:39:30,355 (Lowered voice) Well, if that's Cricket and Blake's arrangement, 909 00:39:30,389 --> 00:39:31,690 why does she care about me? 910 00:39:31,725 --> 00:39:32,925 Because... 911 00:39:32,959 --> 00:39:38,296 their relationship is based on a deep friendship. 912 00:39:38,331 --> 00:39:40,933 From Cricket's point of view, you are threatening to her. 913 00:39:40,967 --> 00:39:44,703 Trust me, I know. 914 00:39:47,439 --> 00:39:50,074 What's going on with you and Bitsy? 915 00:39:50,109 --> 00:39:51,776 I thought you two were playing nice. 916 00:39:51,810 --> 00:39:53,444 Well, I tried, 917 00:39:53,478 --> 00:39:56,313 until she got the impression that I was moving in on Burl. 918 00:39:56,348 --> 00:39:58,482 (Chokes) 919 00:39:58,516 --> 00:40:00,851 She's taking him away from Dallas, you know. 920 00:40:00,885 --> 00:40:03,453 Trying to get him away from my "clutches." 921 00:40:03,487 --> 00:40:07,023 I thought you said he wasn't well enough to travel. 922 00:40:07,058 --> 00:40:08,992 Mama, what are you gonna do? 923 00:40:09,026 --> 00:40:10,961 I don't know. 924 00:40:10,995 --> 00:40:13,964 I'm in the same spot as you. He's not my husband. 925 00:40:13,998 --> 00:40:16,099 You know, sometimes the best thing you can do... 926 00:40:16,134 --> 00:40:19,034 (Bitsy coughs) is just say a prayer and step away. 927 00:40:19,069 --> 00:40:21,937 Damn. That Bitsy Lourd is evil. 928 00:40:21,972 --> 00:40:24,940 There's a special place for a woman like that. 929 00:40:24,975 --> 00:40:26,475 (Thud) 930 00:40:28,078 --> 00:40:31,013 Oh, honey. Thank God you're here. 931 00:40:31,047 --> 00:40:33,281 Can you order me a gin and... 932 00:40:33,315 --> 00:40:35,183 well, what happened to your Anna Nicole costume? 933 00:40:35,217 --> 00:40:37,351 Well, that was your idea for my costume, 934 00:40:37,386 --> 00:40:38,686 but I had a different one. 935 00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,521 So now you're some... pink lady? 936 00:40:40,555 --> 00:40:44,159 I'm not just "some" pink lady... Mary Kay. 937 00:40:44,193 --> 00:40:46,460 The porn star? She's not from Texas. 938 00:40:46,495 --> 00:40:48,362 Mary Kay Ash, 939 00:40:48,397 --> 00:40:50,497 the founder of Mary Kay Cosmetics... 940 00:40:50,531 --> 00:40:54,802 a strong and independent Texas woman. 941 00:40:54,836 --> 00:40:57,004 I feel like this is one of those times where you're trying 942 00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:59,539 to tell me something but you aren't saying it. 943 00:40:59,573 --> 00:41:01,842 I'm gonna say it, Zack, loud and proud. 944 00:41:01,876 --> 00:41:03,576 Oh, Lord. 945 00:41:03,611 --> 00:41:05,511 Remember tonight when you said that you underestimated me? 946 00:41:05,545 --> 00:41:08,347 Well, I have underestimated myself. 947 00:41:08,381 --> 00:41:10,917 I conquered building a shelf, 948 00:41:10,951 --> 00:41:14,586 which made me realize that there is more that I want to conquer. 949 00:41:14,621 --> 00:41:16,689 So what does that mean? 950 00:41:16,723 --> 00:41:19,091 Stand on up and get your own drink. 951 00:41:19,126 --> 00:41:23,761 Oh, and I'm keeping my job at the church. 952 00:41:23,796 --> 00:41:25,263 (Gasps) - Pastor Tudor. - Oh! 953 00:41:25,298 --> 00:41:26,764 Sorry about that, Sharon. 954 00:41:26,799 --> 00:41:29,167 Wouldn't want to ruin that great Mary Kay Ash costume. 955 00:41:29,202 --> 00:41:32,670 Why, you noticed, you king of the wild frontier. 956 00:41:32,705 --> 00:41:35,273 How could I not? My mama earned a pink Escalade. 957 00:41:35,308 --> 00:41:37,274 (Gasps) 958 00:41:37,309 --> 00:41:39,210 (Blake and Cricket laugh) 959 00:41:39,244 --> 00:41:41,912 Hey, there she is! Just in time for a toast. 960 00:41:41,947 --> 00:41:43,080 To Westward Hosannah! 961 00:41:43,114 --> 00:41:46,051 You're gonna keep us bandits flush with cash for a long time. 962 00:41:46,085 --> 00:41:47,385 (Laughs) It will feel like an eternity. (glasses clink) 963 00:41:48,220 --> 00:41:50,020 (Laughs) Actually, I wanted to talk to you both... 964 00:41:50,055 --> 00:41:51,889 - Mm. - ...to thank you for the opportunity. 965 00:41:51,923 --> 00:41:54,457 Unfortunately, I can't stay on. 966 00:41:54,491 --> 00:41:55,624 You what? 967 00:41:55,659 --> 00:41:57,026 Whatever do you mean? 968 00:41:57,061 --> 00:41:58,461 This just isn't my calling. 969 00:41:58,495 --> 00:42:00,730 Besides, you two work so well together. 970 00:42:00,764 --> 00:42:02,698 I just feel like I'm gettin' in the way. 971 00:42:02,733 --> 00:42:04,868 Thank you again. 972 00:42:04,902 --> 00:42:07,370 I know it's gonna be a huge success. 973 00:42:11,274 --> 00:42:12,574 Don't be blue. 974 00:42:12,608 --> 00:42:14,843 I know you liked working with her, but... 975 00:42:14,878 --> 00:42:16,811 look on the bright side. 976 00:42:16,846 --> 00:42:20,181 At least you still get to work with your best friend. 977 00:42:20,215 --> 00:42:21,682 (Chuckles) 978 00:42:21,716 --> 00:42:23,951 What do you say we pick some ribs clean? 979 00:42:23,986 --> 00:42:25,119 Yeah, let's do it. 980 00:42:25,153 --> 00:42:26,687 (Chuckles) 981 00:42:26,721 --> 00:42:27,788 (Clears throat) 982 00:42:27,822 --> 00:42:29,823 (Clatter) 983 00:42:29,858 --> 00:42:32,293 Bitsy? 984 00:42:32,327 --> 00:42:34,094 Bitsy dear? 985 00:42:34,119 --> 00:42:37,119 Sync and corrected by atrn97g www.addic7ed.com 986 00:42:37,164 --> 00:42:38,265 Oh, dear.