1
00:00:01,524 --> 00:00:04,393
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
2
00:00:04,899 --> 00:00:08,168
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
3
00:00:08,203 --> 00:00:11,739
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,773 --> 00:00:14,742
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:14,776 --> 00:00:18,245
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:21,548
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
7
00:00:21,583 --> 00:00:23,117
♪ All the things that make us
8
00:00:23,151 --> 00:00:24,485
♪ Laugh and cry
9
00:00:24,519 --> 00:00:25,958
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
10
00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:29,959
♪ Family Guy 12x01 ♪
Finder Keepers
Original Air Date on September 29, 2013
11
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:34,960
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
12
00:00:35,029 --> 00:00:36,430
We now return to
13
00:00:36,464 --> 00:00:39,566
11 Angry Men and One
Developmentally Disabled Man.
14
00:00:39,601 --> 00:00:41,668
Okay, the vote is
11 for "guilty"
15
00:00:41,703 --> 00:00:43,237
and one for "kitty."
16
00:00:44,472 --> 00:00:46,473
All right,
let's keep talking it out...
17
00:00:48,176 --> 00:00:49,943
Has the jury
reached its verdict?
18
00:00:49,978 --> 00:00:51,145
We have, Your Honor.
19
00:00:51,179 --> 00:00:52,813
We find the defendant...
kitty.
20
00:00:58,453 --> 00:01:00,521
Boy, am I beat.
21
00:01:00,555 --> 00:01:01,922
Peter, what's
with the tie?
22
00:01:01,956 --> 00:01:04,224
Oh, I bought a tie so I can
loosen it when I'm beat.
23
00:01:06,261 --> 00:01:07,594
Oh, my God, Dad!
24
00:01:07,629 --> 00:01:09,429
Peter, your breath!
It's horrible.
25
00:01:10,565 --> 00:01:12,866
Is Whoopi Goldberg
working out down there?
26
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:14,601
Peter, I think
what everyone's saying
27
00:01:14,636 --> 00:01:16,069
is that you've
got "dad breath."
28
00:01:16,104 --> 00:01:17,504
What the hell's
"dad breath"?
29
00:01:17,539 --> 00:01:18,639
You know,
"dad breath."
30
00:01:18,673 --> 00:01:19,706
Guys get older,
31
00:01:19,741 --> 00:01:21,221
they stop paying
attention to hygiene,
32
00:01:21,242 --> 00:01:22,943
their bodies
are changing...
33
00:01:22,977 --> 00:01:24,812
It's just a fact that,
at a certain age,
34
00:01:24,846 --> 00:01:27,047
men start to rot
from the inside out.
35
00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:29,616
I don't smell it.
36
00:01:29,651 --> 00:01:30,918
Huh. Maybe that
explains what happened
37
00:01:30,952 --> 00:01:32,686
with that new guy
at work today.
38
00:01:32,754 --> 00:01:34,288
All right, so this
is Pawtucket Patriot's
39
00:01:34,322 --> 00:01:35,622
national distribution.
40
00:01:35,657 --> 00:01:36,824
As you can see,
41
00:01:36,858 --> 00:01:38,692
we are predominantly
an East Coast beer.
42
00:01:38,726 --> 00:01:40,360
Hey, there's gonna be a quiz
on all this later.
43
00:01:40,395 --> 00:01:41,628
I'm just kidding.
44
00:01:41,663 --> 00:01:42,896
Someone said that
to me once,
45
00:01:42,931 --> 00:01:44,198
now I say it.
46
00:01:49,838 --> 00:01:51,471
Hey, Lois,
what do you say
47
00:01:51,506 --> 00:01:53,440
we do what Anderson
Cooper tried once
48
00:01:53,474 --> 00:01:55,242
before he decided
he hated it?
49
00:01:55,276 --> 00:01:57,144
Oh, Peter...
50
00:01:57,178 --> 00:01:58,145
Hi, there.
51
00:01:58,179 --> 00:01:59,513
Ugh. Oh.
52
00:01:59,547 --> 00:02:00,714
Let's do some
role-playing.
53
00:02:00,748 --> 00:02:02,149
You're you
and I'm Peter,
54
00:02:02,183 --> 00:02:03,283
only with
much worse knees.
55
00:02:03,318 --> 00:02:04,618
Ow, my knees!
56
00:02:04,652 --> 00:02:06,086
Actually, Peter,
57
00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:07,855
I think I finally
want to make love
58
00:02:07,889 --> 00:02:10,257
to a 1950's spaceman.
59
00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:12,059
Really? You mean it?!
60
00:02:12,093 --> 00:02:13,093
All right, let's go!
61
00:02:17,298 --> 00:02:19,066
Good.
62
00:02:22,537 --> 00:02:25,772
Ugh, Dad, it smells like
rotting flesh in here.
63
00:02:25,807 --> 00:02:26,940
Take the window lock off!
64
00:02:26,975 --> 00:02:28,208
Can't do that, Meg.
65
00:02:28,243 --> 00:02:30,644
I don't trust myself
not to jump out the window.
66
00:02:30,678 --> 00:02:32,546
♪ But Minnie had a heart
67
00:02:32,580 --> 00:02:33,914
Ah, now this
is music.
68
00:02:33,948 --> 00:02:35,415
♪ As big as a whale
69
00:02:35,450 --> 00:02:37,618
♪ Hidee hidee hidee hi
70
00:02:37,652 --> 00:02:39,853
♪ Hidee hidee
hidee hi ♪
71
00:02:39,888 --> 00:02:42,155
♪ Hodee hodee hodee ho
72
00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:44,658
♪ Hodee hodee
hodee ho ♪
73
00:02:44,692 --> 00:02:47,027
♪ Heedee heedee heedee hee
74
00:02:47,061 --> 00:02:49,329
♪ Heedee heedee
heedee hee ♪
75
00:02:52,967 --> 00:02:54,701
Oh, my God!
Meg, are you okay?
76
00:02:54,736 --> 00:02:56,637
Do you need mouth-to-nose
resuscitation?
77
00:03:03,611 --> 00:03:06,013
Ah... politics.
78
00:03:08,549 --> 00:03:10,517
Ah...
coach is a bum.
79
00:03:10,551 --> 00:03:12,519
Oh, bloody hell!
80
00:03:12,553 --> 00:03:13,854
Heh! Beetle Bailey.
81
00:03:13,888 --> 00:03:15,489
Heh! Ha-ha! Ha!
82
00:03:15,523 --> 00:03:17,157
Ha-ha-ha!
Oh, that's it!
83
00:03:17,191 --> 00:03:19,559
All right, fat man,
two can play at that game.
84
00:03:21,930 --> 00:03:23,463
Aah! Friendly fire!
85
00:03:23,498 --> 00:03:24,898
All right,
that's it, Peter,
86
00:03:24,933 --> 00:03:27,134
we've got to do something
about that awful breath.
87
00:03:27,168 --> 00:03:28,335
I'm making an appointment,
88
00:03:28,369 --> 00:03:29,937
and you are going
to the dentist.
89
00:03:29,971 --> 00:03:32,439
Geez, you are not gonna
let this go, are you?
90
00:03:32,473 --> 00:03:34,808
You're as stubborn as
a four-hour erection.
91
00:03:34,842 --> 00:03:38,045
Well, she's long gone,
so, uh, you can go, too.
92
00:03:38,079 --> 00:03:39,346
Oh, no,
93
00:03:39,380 --> 00:03:40,914
you got me for another
three and half hours, pal.
94
00:03:40,949 --> 00:03:42,482
Go ahead,
seek medical attention.
95
00:03:42,517 --> 00:03:44,484
I'm not going anywhere.
You can't stay!
96
00:03:44,519 --> 00:03:45,686
I'm chaperoning
my daughter's
97
00:03:45,720 --> 00:03:47,054
Girl Scout dinner
in 45 minutes!
98
00:03:47,088 --> 00:03:48,588
Well, tuck me
into your waistband
99
00:03:48,623 --> 00:03:50,691
and try not to pee
up your shirt.
100
00:03:55,863 --> 00:03:56,930
Oh, boy.
101
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,099
All right, I think
I found the culprit.
102
00:03:59,133 --> 00:04:01,568
This shrimp was lodged
under one of your gums.
103
00:04:01,602 --> 00:04:03,670
Wow, that must've been
in there a while.
104
00:04:03,705 --> 00:04:06,373
It's been weeks since I ordered
from Hurry Up, Shrimp.
105
00:04:06,407 --> 00:04:08,208
Where the hell is this guy?
106
00:04:08,242 --> 00:04:10,110
I ordered that shrimp
two hours ago.
107
00:04:10,144 --> 00:04:11,345
Uh-oh!
108
00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:12,479
Looks like
you should've ordered
109
00:04:12,513 --> 00:04:13,914
from Hurry Up, Shrimp.
110
00:04:13,948 --> 00:04:16,850
Hurry Up, Shrimp?
Well, that just sounds fast.
111
00:04:16,884 --> 00:04:19,353
On average, Americans spend
upwards of 50,000 hours
112
00:04:19,387 --> 00:04:21,822
waiting for shrimp
over the course of their lives.
113
00:04:21,856 --> 00:04:24,057
When I heard that,
I thought to myself,
114
00:04:24,092 --> 00:04:26,560
"Why on earth don't
these guys just hurry up?"
115
00:04:26,594 --> 00:04:28,628
So that's just what we did.
116
00:04:30,832 --> 00:04:32,632
Come on! Come on!
117
00:04:32,667 --> 00:04:34,868
No way
this is the shrimp.
118
00:04:34,902 --> 00:04:36,570
Wow, it is!
119
00:04:36,604 --> 00:04:38,305
♪ Hurry Up, Shrimp,
Hurry up, Shrimp ♪
120
00:04:38,339 --> 00:04:40,507
♪ Hurry Up, Hurry Up,
Hurry Up, Shrimp. ♪
121
00:04:48,449 --> 00:04:50,217
Well, I'm very proud
of you, Peter.
122
00:04:50,251 --> 00:04:52,719
And since you were so well
behaved at the dentist,
123
00:04:52,754 --> 00:04:54,721
you can order
anything you want.
124
00:04:54,756 --> 00:04:57,057
Oh, Dad, when do I get
to go to the dentist?
125
00:04:57,091 --> 00:04:58,458
When you're older, Chris.
126
00:04:58,493 --> 00:05:00,160
Good evening,
countrymen.
127
00:05:00,194 --> 00:05:02,329
- And women.
- Oh!
128
00:05:02,363 --> 00:05:04,364
Welcome to
The Founding Father.
129
00:05:04,399 --> 00:05:06,066
Hey, little guy.
130
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:09,436
You know, that's a real treasure map
you've got there.
131
00:05:09,470 --> 00:05:12,773
Okay, well, I guess treasure
hunting isn't for everyone.
132
00:05:12,807 --> 00:05:14,207
Treasure, you say?
133
00:05:14,242 --> 00:05:16,543
Ah, yes.
You see, legend has it
134
00:05:16,577 --> 00:05:18,845
that Quahog founder
Miles "Chatterbox" Musket
135
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,581
hid his fortune
in fear of it being taken
136
00:05:21,616 --> 00:05:23,984
by British soldiers
during the Revolutionary War.
137
00:05:24,018 --> 00:05:26,153
He died before
he could retrieve it,
138
00:05:26,187 --> 00:05:28,321
and left behind only this map.
139
00:05:28,356 --> 00:05:30,690
Many believe his treasure
is still buried
140
00:05:30,725 --> 00:05:32,759
right here in Rhode Island.
141
00:05:36,831 --> 00:05:39,066
Okay, I'm gonna
go do diarrhea,
142
00:05:39,100 --> 00:05:42,202
and then I'll be right back
to take your order.
143
00:05:43,237 --> 00:05:44,938
Lois, I know where this is!
144
00:05:44,972 --> 00:05:46,940
Peter, please,
that's just a place mat
145
00:05:46,974 --> 00:05:48,942
to distract your children
while you're eating.
146
00:05:48,976 --> 00:05:51,078
There's no treasure.
Well, what if there is?
147
00:05:51,112 --> 00:05:52,846
Ah, see?
Surprised you with that one.
148
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,948
You see, you see that rock
next to the "X"?
149
00:05:54,982 --> 00:05:57,384
I know that rock, Lois--
it's right near Route 2.
150
00:05:57,418 --> 00:06:00,053
I'm finding that treasure.
Peter, the map is a joke.
151
00:06:00,088 --> 00:06:01,721
You're being played
for a fool.
152
00:06:01,756 --> 00:06:03,490
Like George McFly.
153
00:06:03,524 --> 00:06:04,891
Hey, Lorraine,
154
00:06:04,926 --> 00:06:07,127
whatever happened to that guy
Marty from high school?
155
00:06:07,161 --> 00:06:09,162
Don't know.
Never saw him after the prom.
156
00:06:09,197 --> 00:06:10,654
Really? Sure you didn't
157
00:06:10,679 --> 00:06:12,867
run into him, oh, say,
about 16 years ago?
158
00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:15,168
George, what are
you talking about?
159
00:06:15,202 --> 00:06:17,303
I'm talking about
the fact that our son,
160
00:06:17,338 --> 00:06:19,706
who you insisted we name
after that guy Marty,
161
00:06:19,740 --> 00:06:21,074
looks exactly like him!
162
00:06:21,108 --> 00:06:23,276
You think I'm an idiot?
That I wouldn't notice
163
00:06:23,310 --> 00:06:26,646
that our son is a dead ringer
for the guy who fixed us up?
164
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,749
Mom, Dad, I accidentally set
fire to the living room rug!
165
00:06:29,783 --> 00:06:32,051
I am not going easy on him!
166
00:06:36,190 --> 00:06:39,058
Hey, guys, who wants to dig
for buried treasure with me?
167
00:06:39,093 --> 00:06:40,793
What? What are you
talking about?
168
00:06:40,828 --> 00:06:42,295
Well, this child's
place mat is telling me
169
00:06:42,329 --> 00:06:44,030
to dig for buried treasure
by the side of the highway.
170
00:06:44,064 --> 00:06:45,431
Who's in?
171
00:06:45,466 --> 00:06:47,100
Aw, forget it, Peter.
That's crazy talk.
172
00:06:47,134 --> 00:06:49,836
Yeah, we're not going along
with another one of your stupid ideas.
173
00:06:49,870 --> 00:06:51,304
I don't have
stupid ideas.
174
00:06:51,338 --> 00:06:53,540
Haven't you seen my
documentary film?
175
00:06:53,574 --> 00:06:55,942
Each year,
the environment covers
176
00:06:55,976 --> 00:06:58,545
more than 40% of the Earth.
177
00:06:58,579 --> 00:07:02,115
Every animal on Earth
lays eggs.
178
00:07:02,149 --> 00:07:03,816
This is a birch tree.
179
00:07:03,851 --> 00:07:08,087
Today it will begin
its 10,000-mile journey.
180
00:07:08,122 --> 00:07:10,790
The Earth neither
hates nor loves,
181
00:07:10,824 --> 00:07:15,428
but sits, waiting patiently,
for people to do famous stuff.
182
00:07:22,036 --> 00:07:23,836
Peter, it's time
to come home.
183
00:07:23,871 --> 00:07:25,738
You been out here
digging all day.
184
00:07:25,773 --> 00:07:28,474
I-I told you this whole thing
was ridiculous.
185
00:07:28,509 --> 00:07:30,243
What the hell was
I thinking, anyway?
186
00:07:30,277 --> 00:07:31,945
I must be some
kind of idiot.
187
00:07:33,013 --> 00:07:35,181
What was that?
188
00:07:37,217 --> 00:07:40,053
Holy crap!
Lois, it's the treasure!
189
00:07:40,087 --> 00:07:41,354
Oh, my God!
190
00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:43,590
Peter, you were right!
191
00:07:43,624 --> 00:07:45,325
Oh, no, it's the one kid
192
00:07:45,359 --> 00:07:46,926
who also followed
the treasure map.
193
00:07:58,090 --> 00:07:59,190
I don't believe it!
194
00:07:59,224 --> 00:08:01,192
There really was something
buried out there!
195
00:08:01,226 --> 00:08:03,494
Well, it's not the treasure,
but it looks like
196
00:08:03,529 --> 00:08:05,496
it's a clue
to where the treasure is.
197
00:08:05,531 --> 00:08:07,532
"Face the circle
in the square,
198
00:08:07,566 --> 00:08:09,901
you'll see me,
I'll show you where."
199
00:08:09,935 --> 00:08:11,536
Interesting.
200
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:14,238
Interesting, interesting.
201
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,172
Okay, well, if there is
a treasure out there,
202
00:08:22,181 --> 00:08:23,848
we don't want anybody else
to know about it.
203
00:08:23,882 --> 00:08:25,192
None of this leaves
this room, okay?
204
00:08:25,217 --> 00:08:26,017
Obviously.
205
00:08:26,018 --> 00:08:27,385
We're not idiots, Brian.
206
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:29,454
Hey, look!
Dad's on TV!
207
00:08:29,488 --> 00:08:30,788
Hello, I'm Tom Tucker,
208
00:08:30,823 --> 00:08:32,890
here with local fortune seeker
Peter Griffin, who appears
209
00:08:32,925 --> 00:08:35,159
to have found a clue
to a hidden treasure.
210
00:08:35,194 --> 00:08:36,461
That's right, Tom,
and I sincerely hope
211
00:08:36,495 --> 00:08:38,296
that the caption beneath me
212
00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:40,932
doesn't say "Local Fatty."
Let's do something about that caption.
213
00:08:40,966 --> 00:08:43,935
All right, well, you can check
out the clue at our Web site:
214
00:08:47,940 --> 00:08:50,274
We were a little late
getting a Web site.
215
00:08:50,309 --> 00:08:52,377
Quick, Neil! Sign into
the neighbors' Wi-Fi
216
00:08:52,411 --> 00:08:54,212
so we can get that clue.
217
00:08:54,246 --> 00:08:55,272
Nurse, write down that clue,
218
00:08:55,297 --> 00:08:57,516
and then go out in
the waiting room and...
219
00:08:57,616 --> 00:08:59,784
maybe start lowering
expectations.
220
00:08:59,818 --> 00:09:00,885
Treasure?!
221
00:09:00,919 --> 00:09:01,986
Yeah, baby?
222
00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:03,988
Bring me a grape wine.
223
00:09:04,023 --> 00:09:05,023
Peter, what the hell!
224
00:09:05,057 --> 00:09:06,157
Now everyone has the clue!
225
00:09:06,191 --> 00:09:07,425
Why would you do that?
226
00:09:07,459 --> 00:09:08,780
Because I'm tired
of people saying
227
00:09:08,794 --> 00:09:10,294
I don't know nothin'.
Everyone doubted me,
228
00:09:10,329 --> 00:09:13,131
so I wanted to rub it
in their faces that I was right.
229
00:09:13,165 --> 00:09:14,132
All right, where is it?
230
00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,800
Give me that!
Is this all there was?
231
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:16,968
Yeah, is there
anything else
232
00:09:17,002 --> 00:09:18,569
we should know before
we start looking?
233
00:09:18,604 --> 00:09:20,304
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
This is our thing.
234
00:09:20,339 --> 00:09:21,773
We're not sharing
this with anyone.
235
00:09:21,807 --> 00:09:23,274
Peter, come on,
are you serious?
236
00:09:23,308 --> 00:09:26,077
If Joe or I found this, we'd
want you right alongside us.
237
00:09:26,111 --> 00:09:28,312
Well, yeah, we're
like peas in a pod.
238
00:09:28,347 --> 00:09:30,148
Wait-wait.
Don't go in there.
239
00:09:30,182 --> 00:09:32,283
He's doing his podcast.
240
00:09:32,317 --> 00:09:33,284
Oh, that's cute.
241
00:09:33,318 --> 00:09:35,687
Now, that I like.
242
00:09:35,721 --> 00:09:37,855
What do you think about this,
you old bag?
243
00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:40,191
Oh, no.
244
00:09:40,225 --> 00:09:42,260
Look, you guys
doubted me, mocked me,
245
00:09:42,294 --> 00:09:44,395
constantly handled my Eggo
despite my clear instructions,
246
00:09:44,430 --> 00:09:46,664
and now you want a
piece of my treasure?
247
00:09:46,699 --> 00:09:47,470
I don't think so.
248
00:09:47,495 --> 00:09:49,191
Well, fine!
We don't need you anyway!
249
00:09:50,636 --> 00:09:52,236
Peter, I don't like this.
250
00:09:52,271 --> 00:09:53,538
It seems like this treasure
251
00:09:53,572 --> 00:09:55,139
is already turning people
against each other.
252
00:09:55,174 --> 00:09:56,340
Hang on, you guys.
253
00:09:56,375 --> 00:09:58,142
I think I might have
figured something out.
254
00:09:58,177 --> 00:09:59,811
"The circle in the square."
255
00:09:59,845 --> 00:10:02,180
That could be the clock
in the town square.
256
00:10:02,214 --> 00:10:04,582
Wow, that... You're right!
Brian, that could be it!
257
00:10:04,616 --> 00:10:06,718
Well, let's get down there
before anyone else does.
258
00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:17,395
Son of a bitch!
Everyone's already here!
259
00:10:17,429 --> 00:10:20,398
Let's see, "Face
the circle in the square."
260
00:10:20,432 --> 00:10:22,400
"Face the circle."
261
00:10:22,434 --> 00:10:23,601
"Face."
262
00:10:23,635 --> 00:10:25,470
Okay, the gesturing
needs to stop.
263
00:10:25,504 --> 00:10:27,071
No one else is doing that.
264
00:10:31,043 --> 00:10:32,977
Look!
When you face this way,
265
00:10:33,011 --> 00:10:35,947
you're looking at
the statue of Miles Musket.
266
00:10:37,716 --> 00:10:39,684
Crap, you guys, there's
already other people here.
267
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:41,452
They must have
figured it out, too.
268
00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:43,087
You're right.
Okay, gather round, kids.
269
00:10:43,122 --> 00:10:44,122
Family suicide.
270
00:10:44,156 --> 00:10:45,523
Look-- there's a plaque!
271
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:48,159
"This square
shall forever honor
272
00:10:48,193 --> 00:10:49,861
"the memory of my son,
Timmy Musket.
273
00:10:49,895 --> 00:10:52,063
"Always a chip
off the old Block.
274
00:10:52,097 --> 00:10:53,564
"May he rest in peace.
275
00:10:53,599 --> 00:10:55,600
Miles 'Chatterbox' Musket."
276
00:10:55,634 --> 00:10:58,469
Wait-- when I played Jane Musket
in the school play
277
00:10:58,504 --> 00:11:00,238
the last three weekends--
thanks for coming...
278
00:11:00,272 --> 00:11:01,739
I couldn't.
I had a thing.
279
00:11:01,774 --> 00:11:03,708
I had a lot of
dog stuff that day.
280
00:11:03,742 --> 00:11:05,743
Yeah, weekends I like
to spend with my kids.
281
00:11:05,778 --> 00:11:07,578
I learned that
Timmy Musket is buried
282
00:11:07,613 --> 00:11:09,213
in a cemetery
on Block Island.
283
00:11:09,248 --> 00:11:11,115
I remember it because
my big speech was, "Timmy..."
284
00:11:11,150 --> 00:11:12,416
Meg, please.
285
00:11:12,451 --> 00:11:14,485
That must be what "chip off
the old Block" means!
286
00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:16,254
That's it!
Meg, take the car home!
287
00:11:16,288 --> 00:11:19,056
Your mother and I are taking
the ferry to Block Island!
288
00:11:19,091 --> 00:11:21,092
Chris, we need to find that
treasure for ourselves.
289
00:11:21,126 --> 00:11:22,326
What do you mean?
290
00:11:22,361 --> 00:11:23,828
Even if Dad finds
the treasure,
291
00:11:23,862 --> 00:11:24,896
he's not gonna share.
292
00:11:24,930 --> 00:11:26,230
He'll just blow
through it all.
293
00:11:26,265 --> 00:11:27,331
Maybe you're right.
294
00:11:27,366 --> 00:11:29,233
I mean, last time
we came into some money,
295
00:11:29,268 --> 00:11:30,601
he just wasted it
on all those
296
00:11:30,636 --> 00:11:31,769
diamond pinkie rings
for everybody.
297
00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:32,970
What?!
298
00:11:33,005 --> 00:11:35,439
Uh, well, uh, yeah,
we should probably go.
299
00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:40,278
What the hell?
Where are they going?
300
00:11:40,312 --> 00:11:41,479
Oh, forget them.
They're dead weight.
301
00:11:41,513 --> 00:11:42,914
If this treasure's going
to be found,
302
00:11:42,948 --> 00:11:44,382
it's up to you
and me, Brian.
303
00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:46,150
What do you mean?
Come on! You think
304
00:11:46,185 --> 00:11:47,865
the fat man's gonna
figure out those clues?
305
00:11:47,886 --> 00:11:49,821
He's an idiot.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
306
00:11:49,855 --> 00:11:51,155
Yes, I mean,
he's the guy
307
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:53,191
who put all those
little bald men in incubators
308
00:11:53,225 --> 00:11:54,559
because he thought
they were babies.
309
00:11:54,593 --> 00:11:56,194
Look at you.
310
00:11:56,228 --> 00:11:58,496
You came early,
but you're gonna make it.
311
00:11:58,530 --> 00:12:01,265
I'm a senior vice president
at an investment firm!
312
00:12:01,300 --> 00:12:04,202
Oh, someone's a fussy britches.
313
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:22,019
♪ Sailing
314
00:12:22,054 --> 00:12:24,088
♪ Takes me away
315
00:12:24,122 --> 00:12:26,190
♪ To where I've always
316
00:12:26,225 --> 00:12:28,559
♪ Heard it could be...
317
00:12:32,731 --> 00:12:34,398
Want half a Mounds bar?
318
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:35,766
What?
319
00:12:35,801 --> 00:12:37,134
Who eats a Mounds bar?
320
00:12:37,169 --> 00:12:39,103
I do.
My whole life, I don't think
321
00:12:39,137 --> 00:12:41,272
I've ever seen a single
person eat a Mounds bar.
322
00:12:41,306 --> 00:12:43,207
Well, you're about
to see one now.
323
00:12:43,242 --> 00:12:44,575
So, you walk
into a store,
324
00:12:44,610 --> 00:12:46,250
you see the hundreds
of options for candy,
325
00:12:46,278 --> 00:12:47,778
and you choose
a Mounds bar?
326
00:12:47,813 --> 00:12:48,880
Yep.
327
00:12:48,914 --> 00:12:50,414
So what is it you like?
328
00:12:50,449 --> 00:12:51,449
The coconut?
The chocolate?
329
00:12:51,483 --> 00:12:52,617
Yeah.
Both those things.
330
00:12:52,651 --> 00:12:53,918
How long you been
eating 'em?
331
00:12:53,952 --> 00:12:55,553
Uh, I've probably
been having a Mounds bar
332
00:12:55,587 --> 00:12:57,822
two or three times a day
for the last 25 years.
333
00:12:57,856 --> 00:12:59,490
Geez, no wonder
you can't walk!
334
00:12:59,524 --> 00:13:01,459
You have total
renal shutdown!
335
00:13:01,493 --> 00:13:02,793
Your kidneys are
drowning in a stew
336
00:13:02,828 --> 00:13:03,961
of chocolate and coconut!
337
00:13:03,996 --> 00:13:04,996
Give me that!
338
00:13:09,234 --> 00:13:10,768
What are you doing?
339
00:13:13,205 --> 00:13:15,806
Why are your nipples
poking into me?
340
00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:18,075
Sorry. That happens
when I'm cold.
341
00:13:18,110 --> 00:13:19,911
But why are there
three of them?
342
00:13:19,945 --> 00:13:20,711
There aren't.
343
00:13:20,746 --> 00:13:22,113
Two of them are moles.
344
00:13:22,147 --> 00:13:24,582
Those numbers
still don't add up!
345
00:13:27,619 --> 00:13:29,587
Why the hell are we taking
a hot air balloon?
346
00:13:29,621 --> 00:13:31,656
I don't think we're anywhere
near Block Island.
347
00:13:31,690 --> 00:13:33,457
Oh, I know.
We passed that miles ago.
348
00:13:33,492 --> 00:13:35,626
What? Well, then what
about the treasure?
349
00:13:35,661 --> 00:13:38,763
Two friends sailing in
the sky in a wicker basket
350
00:13:38,797 --> 00:13:41,232
with a strange man
holding a cheese plate?
351
00:13:41,266 --> 00:13:42,967
This is the treasure, Bri.
352
00:13:43,001 --> 00:13:44,535
You want a Vicodin?
353
00:13:44,569 --> 00:13:47,438
Isn't it dangerous to do drugs
10,000 feet in the air?
354
00:13:47,472 --> 00:13:49,440
Yeah. Exactly.
355
00:13:49,474 --> 00:13:50,641
What the hell?!
356
00:13:50,676 --> 00:13:52,677
Never gonna die!
357
00:13:52,711 --> 00:13:54,412
Your friend is, like,
the coolest guy
358
00:13:54,446 --> 00:13:56,180
I've ever had up here.
359
00:13:58,583 --> 00:14:00,484
Oh, damn it, Lois,
they're already here!
360
00:14:00,519 --> 00:14:02,053
This is all your fault!
361
00:14:02,055 --> 00:14:03,587
What?! How is this my fault?
362
00:14:03,622 --> 00:14:05,723
Because you just had
to stop for ice cream!
363
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,625
Then you get in there,
and you order
364
00:14:07,659 --> 00:14:09,327
like you never
heard of food before!
365
00:14:09,361 --> 00:14:13,264
Oh, "Coffee Fudge Swirl with
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups."
366
00:14:13,298 --> 00:14:15,366
Oh, I wonder
what's in that!
367
00:14:15,400 --> 00:14:17,535
You just listed off
all the ingredients!
368
00:14:17,569 --> 00:14:20,237
Everything you just said
is what's in that!
369
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,141
Well, I hate to say it,
but I guess
370
00:14:24,176 --> 00:14:25,643
we're supposed
to dig this kid up.
371
00:14:25,677 --> 00:14:26,877
Any volunteers?
372
00:14:26,912 --> 00:14:28,679
I dig kids.
373
00:14:28,714 --> 00:14:29,914
All of you,
hold it right there!
374
00:14:29,948 --> 00:14:31,115
If anyone's digging
375
00:14:31,149 --> 00:14:32,316
into this little kid's grave,
it's me!
376
00:14:32,351 --> 00:14:33,951
You're too late.
We got here first.
377
00:14:33,986 --> 00:14:35,152
No, it's my treasure hunt!
378
00:14:35,187 --> 00:14:36,320
I found the first clue!
379
00:14:36,355 --> 00:14:37,688
You guys are just horning in!
380
00:14:37,723 --> 00:14:38,856
You guys, calm down!
381
00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:40,725
See, this is what
I was talking about.
382
00:14:40,759 --> 00:14:42,159
You can't desecrate
a child's grave!
383
00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:43,294
Don't worry, Lois.
384
00:14:43,328 --> 00:14:44,695
We're gonna do it
with reverence.
385
00:14:44,730 --> 00:14:46,397
Hey, how about
a little digging song?
386
00:14:46,431 --> 00:14:48,666
♪ Little Peter Griffin
387
00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:50,001
♪ Diggin' up a casket
388
00:14:50,035 --> 00:14:53,537
♪ Shovelful of dirt
and bop ya on the head. ♪
389
00:14:53,572 --> 00:14:55,439
I didn't care for
the end of that song.
390
00:14:55,474 --> 00:14:57,575
Oh, my God!
The treasure's in the casket!
391
00:14:57,609 --> 00:14:59,777
Come on, Meg,
let's get it!
392
00:14:59,811 --> 00:15:01,012
My treasure!
393
00:15:01,046 --> 00:15:03,547
Oh, my God!
You hit your own son!
394
00:15:03,582 --> 00:15:04,815
That's it, Peter.
395
00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:07,918
I am not gonna stand here
and be a part of this madness.
396
00:15:07,953 --> 00:15:10,154
You're on your own,
because I quit!
397
00:15:10,188 --> 00:15:11,789
Chris, Meg,
we're going home.
398
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:14,625
Well, good! You were just
slowing me down anyway!
399
00:15:14,659 --> 00:15:16,927
You, Asian lady,
you're the new Lois.
400
00:15:16,962 --> 00:15:21,265
I will have one scoop of mint
chocolate chip in a waffle cone.
401
00:15:21,299 --> 00:15:23,801
You are a practical,
straightforward people.
402
00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:30,604
What do you guys think
is in here?
403
00:15:31,507 --> 00:15:32,974
Sounds like books.
404
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,645
Oh, my God!
405
00:15:37,679 --> 00:15:39,981
Feels so weird to be
looking at a dead kid
406
00:15:40,015 --> 00:15:41,582
and not have angry
parents nearby.
407
00:15:41,617 --> 00:15:44,852
Hey, look! There's something
written inside the lid.
408
00:15:44,887 --> 00:15:47,922
"You've crossed the miles,
you've pawed through clues.
409
00:15:47,956 --> 00:15:51,959
Find where he hits, misses,
cheers and boos."
410
00:15:51,994 --> 00:15:54,295
By the way, for those
who came on my boat,
411
00:15:54,329 --> 00:15:55,897
I have those
sandwiches.
412
00:15:55,931 --> 00:15:58,766
"Hits, misses,
cheers, and boos."
413
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,535
Could be... baseball?
414
00:16:00,569 --> 00:16:02,136
And "pawed through clues."
415
00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,305
Could it be Paw... tucket?
416
00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:06,874
The Pawtucket Red Sox play
at McCoy Stadium.
417
00:16:06,909 --> 00:16:09,210
Quagmire, let's get
to that stadium!
418
00:16:13,582 --> 00:16:14,949
Eh! Lois took the bike.
419
00:16:14,983 --> 00:16:16,384
Hey, wait a minute.
420
00:16:16,418 --> 00:16:19,921
This is a great time for me
to do my Suzuki Samurai promo!
421
00:16:21,623 --> 00:16:23,591
Are you a Hawaii scumbag?
422
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:26,060
Do you chug energy drinks
in Arizona?
423
00:16:26,094 --> 00:16:30,431
Suzuki Samurai--
ninja name, garbage car.
424
00:16:34,269 --> 00:16:36,370
You sons of bitches,
this is my...
425
00:16:41,410 --> 00:16:43,344
Oh, my God, look at 'em.
426
00:16:43,378 --> 00:16:44,845
Lois was right.
427
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,848
This treasure hunt has
turned them all into animals.
428
00:16:49,117 --> 00:16:50,918
There's more
where that came from, mister!
429
00:16:52,120 --> 00:16:54,555
He was right.
There was more!
430
00:16:58,727 --> 00:17:01,195
Oh, look who's back--
the grave robber.
431
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,463
Hey, Lois.
432
00:17:02,497 --> 00:17:04,865
So, what happened?
You find your treasure?
433
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:07,602
No. I realized something
after you left.
434
00:17:07,636 --> 00:17:09,604
It's not the treasure
that matters.
435
00:17:09,638 --> 00:17:11,906
All that really matters
is the money you get
436
00:17:11,940 --> 00:17:13,841
in exchange
for the treasure.
437
00:17:13,875 --> 00:17:16,177
I guess I had
to learn that the hard way.
438
00:17:16,211 --> 00:17:18,245
Per, you were a real jerk
out there!
439
00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:19,513
I know.
440
00:17:19,548 --> 00:17:20,481
You were right.
441
00:17:20,515 --> 00:17:22,149
I took this thing way too far.
442
00:17:22,184 --> 00:17:24,819
And I'm really sorry about
how I treated you and the kids.
443
00:17:24,853 --> 00:17:25,987
But you know me.
444
00:17:26,021 --> 00:17:27,922
If I read anything
on a place mat,
445
00:17:27,956 --> 00:17:29,357
I I just kind of go nuts.
446
00:17:29,391 --> 00:17:30,758
Can you forgive me?
447
00:17:30,792 --> 00:17:32,059
Chris forgave me.
448
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:35,429
I can't wait for you
to fall asleep tonight.
449
00:17:35,464 --> 00:17:37,465
Of course I
forgive you, Peter.
450
00:17:37,499 --> 00:17:40,568
So I guess everyone else came
to their senses, too, huh?
451
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,536
No, they all ran off
to McCoy Stadium.
452
00:17:42,571 --> 00:17:44,605
What? Why? What's
at McCoy Stadium?
453
00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:46,641
Ah, there was a clue
at the graveyard.
454
00:17:46,675 --> 00:17:48,509
Here, I took a picture
with my phone.
455
00:17:48,543 --> 00:17:50,177
Oh, it's the
next picture.
456
00:17:50,212 --> 00:17:53,047
Just swipe it
to the next one.
457
00:17:54,816 --> 00:17:56,784
She saw me.
458
00:17:56,818 --> 00:17:59,720
"You've crossed the miles,
you've pawed through clues.
459
00:17:59,755 --> 00:18:03,524
Find where he hits,
misses, cheers and boos."
460
00:18:03,558 --> 00:18:06,794
Peter, this can't be leading
them to a baseball stadium.
461
00:18:06,828 --> 00:18:09,597
Baseball wasn't invented
until the 1800s.
462
00:18:09,631 --> 00:18:11,866
Wow, you're really smart, Lois.
463
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:14,035
You know, Peter,
in the first eight minutes
464
00:18:14,069 --> 00:18:15,870
of Meg's play,
before I walked out,
465
00:18:15,904 --> 00:18:18,673
they said Miles Musket
was a horrible drunk
466
00:18:18,707 --> 00:18:19,974
and a wife beater.
467
00:18:20,008 --> 00:18:21,809
So, when it says,
"hits, misses,"
468
00:18:21,843 --> 00:18:25,046
it might be talking
about hitting Mrs. Musket.
469
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:26,981
And he probably misspelled
"missus"
470
00:18:27,015 --> 00:18:28,983
because he was drunk
when he wrote it.
471
00:18:29,017 --> 00:18:31,218
Or maybe he misspelled it
because cursive is hard,
472
00:18:31,253 --> 00:18:32,953
and everyone should
get off his back.
473
00:18:32,988 --> 00:18:35,556
And "cheers" and "boos"
might be referring to a bar
474
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:38,426
where he would "cheers,"
and drink his "booze."
475
00:18:38,460 --> 00:18:40,961
"Hits missus,
cheers and booze."
476
00:18:40,996 --> 00:18:43,164
Wait a minute-- it's got
to be an old bar, right?
477
00:18:43,198 --> 00:18:44,865
The Clam's
the oldest bar in town.
478
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:47,068
That must be
where the treasure is!
479
00:18:47,102 --> 00:18:49,036
All right, let's you
put some makeup on
480
00:18:49,071 --> 00:18:50,805
and get right down
to The Clam!
481
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:56,310
Oh, no, they're closed.
482
00:18:56,344 --> 00:18:58,012
Hang on. I got an idea.
483
00:18:58,046 --> 00:18:59,447
But you have to believe.
484
00:18:59,481 --> 00:19:01,248
What?
You have to believe.
485
00:19:01,283 --> 00:19:02,450
Say you believe.
486
00:19:02,484 --> 00:19:04,051
Okay. I believe.
487
00:19:04,086 --> 00:19:07,388
This is worse than the time
we were in The Clam right now.
488
00:19:07,422 --> 00:19:08,889
Yes!
489
00:19:08,924 --> 00:19:10,024
Peter, look!
490
00:19:10,058 --> 00:19:12,026
That's Miles Musket!
491
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:13,627
It is?
Yes!
492
00:19:13,662 --> 00:19:15,963
How have you never seen
this painting before?
493
00:19:15,997 --> 00:19:18,566
Lois, I'm completely hammered
every time I'm in here.
494
00:19:32,047 --> 00:19:33,614
We did it!
495
00:19:33,648 --> 00:19:35,616
We found the treasure!
496
00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:36,951
You know what, Peter?
497
00:19:36,985 --> 00:19:38,953
Why don't you open it?
498
00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:40,955
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
499
00:19:40,989 --> 00:19:43,290
No, okay,
I'll-I'll open it.
500
00:19:43,325 --> 00:19:46,227
Here, hold this.
501
00:19:56,471 --> 00:19:57,772
"Congratulations.
502
00:19:57,806 --> 00:19:59,840
"You have won
The Founding Father Restaurant
503
00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,509
"Treasure Hunt Challenge.
504
00:20:01,543 --> 00:20:03,177
"Please enjoy one free meal
505
00:20:03,211 --> 00:20:05,446
"at select
Founding Father locations.
506
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:07,915
Expires May 16, 2006."
507
00:20:07,949 --> 00:20:09,683
Wait a second.
What year is it?
508
00:20:09,718 --> 00:20:11,519
It's 2013, Peter.
509
00:20:11,553 --> 00:20:13,087
So that's...
It's before.
510
00:20:13,121 --> 00:20:14,321
The coupon's no good.
511
00:20:14,356 --> 00:20:15,656
Oh, man!
512
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:17,992
Um, this sucks worse
513
00:20:18,026 --> 00:20:20,661
than when I went
to that strip club without Lois.
514
00:20:21,530 --> 00:20:23,497
Yay!
515
00:20:27,522 --> 00:20:29,674
Well, Peter, I hope
you're not disappointed
516
00:20:29,675 --> 00:20:30,842
we didn't find
any treasure.
517
00:20:30,876 --> 00:20:32,043
No, it's fine.
518
00:20:32,078 --> 00:20:33,445
You know, the important thing is
519
00:20:33,479 --> 00:20:35,313
we figured out
those clues together.
520
00:20:35,348 --> 00:20:37,382
I mean, so what
we won't be able to pay
521
00:20:37,416 --> 00:20:38,883
to fix them veins
in your legs.
522
00:20:38,918 --> 00:20:40,485
You're my treasure, Lois,
523
00:20:40,519 --> 00:20:43,221
and I want you
on my team for everything.
524
00:20:43,255 --> 00:20:44,889
Except for sports.
525
00:20:44,924 --> 00:20:46,257
Me too, Peter.
526
00:20:46,292 --> 00:20:47,459
I love you.
527
00:20:47,493 --> 00:20:49,494
I love you, too, Lois.
528
00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:52,230
No way that's the shrimp.
529
00:20:52,255 --> 00:20:57,255
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man