1 00:00:00,350 --> 00:00:02,260 Previously on desperate housewives... 2 00:00:02,530 --> 00:00:04,870 Susan's new boyfriend met the family... 3 00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:05,810 Who are you? 4 00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:06,680 Hi 5 00:00:06,830 --> 00:00:08,450 I'm mike. Her ex-Husband. 6 00:00:09,150 --> 00:00:11,560 Gaby's life was no long glamorous. 7 00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:12,330 (Service entrance only) 8 00:00:12,330 --> 00:00:13,930 Now it's official. I've lost everything. 9 00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,830 First our money, then my figure, 10 00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:17,680 Now the last shreds of our social standing. 11 00:00:17,860 --> 00:00:21,320 Baby, we have a home, and we have two beautiful little girls... 12 00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:24,130 Danielle's decision was devastating. 13 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:25,680 Please, just don't take him! 14 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,300 Benjamin's all I have! 15 00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:29,100 You're just gonna have to find something else. 16 00:00:29,310 --> 00:00:32,270 And edie's new husband showed the dark side. 17 00:00:32,550 --> 00:00:34,250 I would consider it a personal favor 18 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:35,630 If you'd apologize to edie. 19 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:36,230 No. 20 00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:37,190 And it seems to me 21 00:00:37,340 --> 00:00:38,770 That a woman le you would like to keep 22 00:00:38,890 --> 00:00:40,090 The few friends that she has left. 23 00:00:40,190 --> 00:00:41,250 I think you'd better go. 24 00:00:41,410 --> 00:00:42,790 Now why would you bring me flowers? 25 00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:44,120 'Cause you've got a computer, 26 00:00:44,690 --> 00:00:47,310 And I need to find out some stuff about edie's husband. 27 00:00:53,310 --> 00:00:55,860 Benjamin katz was 6 years old, 28 00:00:55,870 --> 00:00:59,030 And there were a lot of things he didn't understand. 29 00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:03,300 He wasn't sure why the woman you call "mommy" 30 00:01:04,130 --> 00:01:06,080 Isn't always your mother. 31 00:01:07,330 --> 00:01:10,120 Or how the man who was always there for him 32 00:01:11,260 --> 00:01:13,640 Could suddenly be taken away. 33 00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:17,150 Or why you could go for a ride... 34 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,250 And never come back home. 35 00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:23,750 Yes, there were a lot of things 36 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:26,400 Benjamin katz couldn't understand, 37 00:01:26,910 --> 00:01:28,950 And no one seemed in a hurry 38 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,410 To explain them. 39 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:34,760 Here they come, finally. 40 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:36,940 You know, bree, things will be a little strange at first, 41 00:01:36,950 --> 00:01:38,670 So please, be on your best behavior. 42 00:01:38,680 --> 00:01:41,200 I do not require lectures on tact. 43 00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:43,310 I know. It's just that we've missed benjy so much, 44 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,090 And it's taken so many olive branches 45 00:01:45,100 --> 00:01:47,870 To get them to come back. I'm aware of what's at stake, orson. 46 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:50,070 Good. So if you feel an impulse to criticize something, 47 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,890 You'll keep the thought to yourself. 48 00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:53,260 Hi! 49 00:01:55,830 --> 00:01:57,090 I've already started. 50 00:01:57,100 --> 00:02:01,300 Danielle! What a dightfully ethnic ensemble. 51 00:02:01,670 --> 00:02:04,930 Hey, mom, orson. Hi, danielle. 52 00:02:04,940 --> 00:02:06,980 Oh, I want to meet my husband leo. 53 00:02:06,990 --> 00:02:09,850 It's nice to finally meet both of you in person. Lovely to meet you, leo. 54 00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:11,680 Hey, who's this little linebacker? 55 00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:14,690 Hi, benjy. Remember me? I'm not sure. 56 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,140 That's okay. That's what this visit is for, right? 57 00:02:19,150 --> 00:02:20,690 Getting to know each other. 58 00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:23,260 Now we have you for the whole weekend, right? 59 00:02:23,260 --> 00:02:24,390 Yep, whole three days. 60 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:26,650 Oh, good. 'Cause we've made lots of plans. 61 00:02:26,960 --> 00:02:28,180 We're gonna take you to the circus 62 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,770 If it's okay with your folks. Can I go, danielle? 63 00:02:32,280 --> 00:02:34,160 "Danielle"? Did he just ca you "danielle"? 64 00:02:34,620 --> 00:02:36,170 Well, it is my name. 65 00:02:36,750 --> 00:02:39,180 Yes, I'm aware of that. I picked it. 66 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:40,760 I'm just concerned 67 00:02:40,770 --> 00:02:44,520 People might view it as a sign of, um, disrespect. 68 00:02:44,730 --> 00:02:46,460 By "people," you mean you? 69 00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:50,150 Uh... leo. Look at all the luggage you have here. 70 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,750 I'll give you a hand here. Okay. Oh, thanks. 71 00:02:52,810 --> 00:02:55,250 Um... let me be clear. 72 00:02:55,260 --> 00:02:57,620 I do no want him calling me "bree." 73 00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:00,450 Oh, don't worry. Td him to call you "granny." 74 00:03:03,110 --> 00:03:07,010 Yes, benjamin katz was only 6 years old, 75 00:03:07,600 --> 00:03:09,690 But even he could understand 76 00:03:09,860 --> 00:03:11,690 This was going to be... 77 00:03:11,890 --> 00:03:13,910 A long weekend. 78 00:03:25,350 --> 00:03:27,020 Any child will tell you 79 00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:29,070 That where you find a playground, 80 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,630 You will also find... 81 00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:33,090 Bullies-- 82 00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:35,830 Young tyrants who bring pain... 83 00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:38,810 Intimidation... 84 00:03:40,460 --> 00:03:42,110 And violence. 85 00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:46,000 What can children do in the face of such torment? 86 00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:50,210 Well, there is one obvious option, 87 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:55,380 But not every child is eager to go running home to mother. 88 00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:56,850 Ugh. Hey. Hon. 89 00:03:56,860 --> 00:03:59,280 How was the park? Wait. Hold on. 90 00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:01,210 Mommy just found her first gray hair. 91 00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:03,830 I need you to grab it, yank it and never speak of it again. 92 00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,600 Oh. Look at your face. 93 00:04:08,700 --> 00:04:10,360 It's scratched. 94 00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:11,620 What happened? 95 00:04:12,700 --> 00:04:14,110 Nothing. 96 00:04:15,490 --> 00:04:17,060 And your shirt is ripped. 97 00:04:17,310 --> 00:04:18,730 That's the second time this week. 98 00:04:18,740 --> 00:04:20,300 Is someone picking on you? 99 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:26,250 Who is it? 100 00:04:26,550 --> 00:04:29,250 Is it jeffrey hixon, that weird kid who eats paper? 101 00:04:31,670 --> 00:04:33,130 Is it timmy crowley? 102 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:35,440 His mom slept in her car last night. 103 00:04:35,450 --> 00:04:37,050 Who knows what's going on there? 104 00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:41,170 Is it that boy from your birthday, 105 00:04:41,290 --> 00:04:42,980 The one who slugged the pony? 106 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,120 Oh, sweetie. I know you're upset, 107 00:04:48,130 --> 00:04:50,020 But you'll feel better if you talk about it. 108 00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:53,530 And there's nothing you can't tell me. I'm your mommy. 109 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,500 I wanna talk to daddy. 110 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:01,650 Okay. 111 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,240 We'll give him a call. 112 00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:12,500 You're not gonna find another one in this condition. 113 00:05:12,510 --> 00:05:14,600 I mean, the car is a classic. 114 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:16,830 Well, what do you think, nabila? 115 00:05:16,840 --> 00:05:19,480 Eh. I like it. I don't love it. 116 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:20,750 Tell you what. 117 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,120 Gaby and I want to find our car a nice home. 118 00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:24,540 So I'm prepared to knock a grand off. 119 00:05:24,550 --> 00:05:27,510 What do you say? I say knock off 5 grand, and we'll talk 120 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,100 Oh, come on. It's already priced way below blue book, 121 00:05:30,110 --> 00:05:32,790 Not to mention it's mint. This is not mint. 122 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:35,790 Hey,an you not see this ding in the bumper here? 123 00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:40,390 Okay, this car goes zero to 60 in 5 seconds. 124 00:05:40,430 --> 00:05:42,110 By the time someone says, "wow, a ding," 125 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,080 You're in the next county. 4 grand, you got yourself a deal. 126 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:46,690 Deal. 127 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,140 What? No! No, no deal! 128 00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:52,080 The nondriving blind guy does not speak for me. 129 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:53,450 Would you excuse us? 130 00:05:54,870 --> 00:05:57,100 Gaby, we've been trying to move this car for a month. 131 00:05:57,110 --> 00:05:58,610 We need the cash. 132 00:05:58,870 --> 00:06:01,110 God,sn't there any way we can keep it? 133 00:06:01,330 --> 00:06:03,710 I mean, this car's the last thing I have 134 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,070 That tells the world, "I'm better than you." 135 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:09,000 Sorry, babe. We have to pay the mortgage. 136 00:06:09,010 --> 00:06:10,930 We can't afford to be better than anyone. 137 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,230 Here. 138 00:06:20,240 --> 00:06:21,520 Take good care of her. 139 00:06:22,030 --> 00:06:25,080 Actually, it's not for us. It's for our nanny. 140 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,190 Okay, that one hurt. 141 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:38,410 So what'd you dig up on mr. X.? 142 00:06:38,420 --> 00:06:39,830 You mean dave? Yeah. 143 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:42,630 Nothing yet. It's been two days. What gives? 144 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:46,120 Well, for starters, when I search for "dave williams," 145 00:06:46,130 --> 00:06:47,790 I get a million and a half hits. 146 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:49,830 To narrow it down, I'm gonna need more information, 147 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,530 Like where he was born, where he went to school. 148 00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,400 Did he serve time in the military? Oh, believe me, 149 00:06:54,410 --> 00:06:56,480 If he served time, it was in the state pen. 150 00:06:58,050 --> 00:06:59,830 Hey! Dave! 151 00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,150 Morning, ladies. 152 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:04,520 Si bastard. How are you? 153 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:05,580 Hey, katherine, 154 00:07:05,590 --> 00:07:07,180 Your sprinkler system working okay now? 155 00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:09,600 Like a charm. And thanks again. 156 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,630 I've never been able to get that to work. Oh, I hear ya. 157 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:15,320 To program those things, you need an engineering degree. 158 00:07:15,330 --> 00:07:16,910 Oh, yeah? You got one of those? 159 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,170 Anyway... really appreciate it. 160 00:07:20,700 --> 00:07:22,070 Take care. 161 00:07:24,800 --> 00:07:26,550 I just can't go through with this. 162 00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:29,860 He--He just strikes me as so nice. 163 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:31,130 That's supposed to comfort me, 164 00:07:31,140 --> 00:07:33,090 Given your track record with men? 165 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,260 Katherine, please. 166 00:07:37,950 --> 00:07:39,270 The guy is bad news. 167 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,590 I can't prove it, but I feel it in my bones. 168 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,080 And I can't sit around doing nothing when I know 169 00:07:44,090 --> 00:07:46,600 That edie's waking up every morning next to him. 170 00:07:49,150 --> 00:07:51,440 If anyone finds out we're doing this... 171 00:07:51,740 --> 00:07:53,130 No one will know. 172 00:07:53,150 --> 00:07:55,610 And when they do, they'll probably thank us. 173 00:07:56,450 --> 00:08:00,330 Because I'm telling ya, this guy is up to something. 174 00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:07,160 Cleaning out the old garage-- My deepest sympathy. 175 00:08:07,170 --> 00:08:09,640 Hey, dave. You--You settling in okay? 176 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,220 Yeah. Yeah. 177 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:13,830 Well, they finally delivered my flat screen. 178 00:08:13,950 --> 00:08:17,130 I was dying without it. I mean, it is 65 inches. 179 00:08:17,150 --> 00:08:19,090 Wow. Sweet! 180 00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:22,550 Hey, w--The play-Offs are on. You should come check it out. 181 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:24,300 It's like being right on the field. 182 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:25,710 Yeah... 183 00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:27,460 Um, lynette's really busting my hump 184 00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:29,340 About clearing this place out, so... 185 00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:30,490 Well, maybe later. 186 00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,950 The game doesn't start for a couple hours. 187 00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:32,950 We could order one of those giant 188 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,610 Sandwiches. Sorry, but, you know, check back with me 189 00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:38,170 Make sure I survive this whole thing. Okay. 190 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:39,660 Hi, dave. 191 00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:40,960 Hi. 192 00:08:41,190 --> 00:08:42,270 Hey, tom? 193 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:43,350 Yeah? 194 00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:45,430 Why are there two piles? 195 00:08:46,110 --> 00:08:48,150 Well, that's the pile that I'm throwing away, 196 00:08:48,160 --> 00:08:50,030 And, uh, this is the stuff I still need. 197 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,660 You need unopened mountain climbing equipment from 1986? 198 00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,180 You don't climb mountains. 199 00:08:57,780 --> 00:09:00,690 Not yet, but someday. I mean, you know... who knows? 200 00:09:00,700 --> 00:09:03,880 I know. You get winded just climbing out of the tub. 201 00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:05,510 You're never gonna climb a mountain. 202 00:09:06,020 --> 00:09:07,860 You know what else you're never gonna do? 203 00:09:07,950 --> 00:09:10,990 Learn german, make your own beer or... 204 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,730 Have 8 minute abs. 205 00:09:12,740 --> 00:09:15,760 Come on, not the ab-Tastic. Toss it, and keep tossing 206 00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:18,620 Until this 2-Car garage can hold at least one car. 207 00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:26,790 Please tell me you're not getting rid of your bass. 208 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,170 No point in hanging on to it. 209 00:09:28,180 --> 00:09:31,660 I mean, being in a band is just one more thing I'll never do. 210 00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,730 Before he moved, mike and I, 211 00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,950 We used to get together on saturdays and just... jam. 212 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,390 Man, that was fun. 213 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:42,940 You know, I play the drums. 214 00:09:43,180 --> 00:09:44,910 Maybe you and I should jam sometime. 215 00:09:47,950 --> 00:09:48,970 I guess we could. 216 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:51,210 Maybe even later today? Just... 217 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:54,360 Yeah! Yeah, you know what? Just give me a couple hours. 218 00:09:54,370 --> 00:09:56,610 I gotta stash these old "playboys." I'll see you later. 219 00:10:14,630 --> 00:10:17,750 Now remember, you can't just start grilling edie, 220 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:20,970 Or she'll get suspicious. We have to be subtle. 221 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,650 I'll just follow your lead. 222 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,290 Okay. 223 00:10:26,750 --> 00:10:28,630 Sorry I'm late. 224 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:30,640 What a great idea! 225 00:10:30,650 --> 00:10:33,990 I haven't done this in ages-- A fun lunch with the girls. 226 00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:35,730 Yeah, it's fun. 227 00:10:36,410 --> 00:10:37,850 Where was dave born? 228 00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:39,590 What? 229 00:10:40,260 --> 00:10:41,510 We were just wondering 230 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,330 Where he got his great... manners. 231 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:47,010 He's got that gentle bearing 232 00:10:47,020 --> 00:10:49,280 Of a... southern gentleman. 233 00:10:49,730 --> 00:10:51,730 No, he's from somewhere in the midwest. 234 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,480 "Somewhere"? 235 00:10:53,780 --> 00:10:55,540 You don't know where your husband grew up? 236 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,340 Well, he showed me a picture of his childhood home once. 237 00:10:58,350 --> 00:11:01,310 It had a cow in it. I lost interest. 238 00:11:01,900 --> 00:11:03,810 Honestly, edie, how can you be married to a guy 239 00:11:03,820 --> 00:11:05,340 And not know these things? 240 00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:06,780 You know what? What? 241 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,000 I think it's time to order. Where's our waitress? 242 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:11,890 I'll be right with you, mrs. Mayfair. 243 00:11:11,900 --> 00:11:14,340 Oh, no problem, debbie. You take your time. 244 00:11:14,930 --> 00:11:16,600 She is such a sweet girl. 245 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,760 She's saving money for college. 246 00:11:20,060 --> 00:11:23,030 Speaking of which... where did dave go to college? 247 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,950 Come on, debbie! While we're young! 248 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:27,480 I don't know. 249 00:11:27,490 --> 00:11:30,520 All right. What about high school? 250 00:11:30,530 --> 00:11:32,190 Why are you asking me all these questions? 251 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:34,250 I just think it's odd that you're married to some guy-- 252 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:35,730 You don't know anything about him. 253 00:11:35,740 --> 00:11:38,920 Other than the fact that he's a lovely man. 254 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,000 He... fixed my sprinkler. 255 00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:47,710 I don't want to talk about this anymore. 256 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:49,240 I'm going to the ladies' room. 257 00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:55,550 Well, your subtle approach got us nowhere. 258 00:11:58,030 --> 00:11:59,800 I've been through a lot with this baby. 259 00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:01,500 I hate to sell her, but, you know, 260 00:12:01,510 --> 00:12:03,710 With my new sports car coming, I don't really need it. 261 00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:05,900 Yeah. Here she is. 262 00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:11,400 How's it look? 263 00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,430 Be glad you're blind. 264 00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:14,900 We have to be practical. 265 00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:17,220 We just need something to get us from point "a" to point "b." 266 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,210 Now let's buy the thing. Okay, just let me handle this. 267 00:12:21,760 --> 00:12:23,720 So... do we have a sale? 268 00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:26,630 I don't know, andrew. 269 00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,070 I mean... we like it. We don't love . 270 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,480 Yeah, well, no one buys a car like this and loves it. 271 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:35,810 It's all about the price. And you're not gonna do better. 272 00:12:36,190 --> 00:12:38,210 Yeah, about that price-- 273 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:41,250 You're gonna have to drop it. I mean, look at all these dents. 274 00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:43,440 Yeah, it's also missing three hubcaps, 275 00:12:43,450 --> 00:12:45,470 And it's got a hanger for an antenna. 276 00:12:45,790 --> 00:12:48,080 Full disclosure-- It's a piece of crap. 277 00:12:48,090 --> 00:12:49,510 You want it or not? 278 00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:52,050 Well, I'll tell you what. 279 00:12:52,070 --> 00:12:54,480 Since your mom and I are dear friends, 280 00:12:54,490 --> 00:12:56,950 I'll take it off your hands if you knock off $300. 281 00:12:56,980 --> 00:12:59,590 And since my mom and you are dear friends, 282 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,740 I'll resist the urge to flip you the bird. 283 00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:03,730 Andrew! 284 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,990 Unless you lower this price, we're walking... right now. 285 00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:08,860 See ya. 286 00:13:09,820 --> 00:13:10,860 I mean it. 287 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:12,160 This is it. 288 00:13:12,170 --> 00:13:13,060 Fine. 289 00:13:13,070 --> 00:13:14,070 Fine. 290 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:25,010 Okay, fine. Knock off $200, and we'll give you cash. 291 00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,070 No. $100. 292 00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:28,870 No. Wh-- 293 00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,520 Will you at least have it washed? 294 00:13:31,870 --> 00:13:34,620 I'll empty the ashtray. Final offer. 295 00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:37,030 Damn you. 296 00:13:45,070 --> 00:13:46,420 You beat me again! 297 00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:50,870 Curse you and your diabolical checkers prowess. 298 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:51,990 All right, orson. 299 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,940 Don't overexcite him on the upholstery. 300 00:13:54,930 --> 00:13:58,400 So, danielle, what would you like me to make as a side dish 301 00:13:58,410 --> 00:14:00,110 For your welcome home party? 302 00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:03,350 I can do anything so long as it complements beef tenderloin. 303 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,570 Actually, we don't eat meat. We're vegetarians. 304 00:14:07,860 --> 00:14:10,470 Excuse me? So is benjamin. 305 00:14:16,350 --> 00:14:19,060 Oh. Well... since when? 306 00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:22,240 Since I realized that meat was a byproduct of murder. 307 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,020 Would it be more acceptable 308 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:27,500 If I shopped for a suicidal pork loin? 309 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:30,080 Bree, it's no big deal. 310 00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,030 I'll just make a nice risotto. 311 00:14:32,030 --> 00:14:33,040 This isn't about dinner. 312 00:14:33,050 --> 00:14:35,230 This is about her nutty liberal politics 313 00:14:35,240 --> 00:14:37,370 Getting in the way of our grandson's nutrition. 314 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,570 He gets all the protein he needs from cheese and beans d tofu. 315 00:14:42,580 --> 00:14:44,730 Well, this isn't just about nutrition. 316 00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:46,820 Do you want him to be teased at school 317 00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:50,030 Every time he pulls tofu out of his lunchbox? 318 00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:53,260 Actually, that won't be an issue. 319 00:14:53,270 --> 00:14:54,970 Danielle is homeschooling him. 320 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,780 Excuse me? 321 00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:59,600 You're teaching him? 322 00:15:00,380 --> 00:15:02,600 Yes. I take it you have an opinion? 323 00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:05,120 So instead of sending him to a proper school, 324 00:15:05,130 --> 00:15:06,300 You're gonna give him the benefit 325 00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,880 Of your straight "c" average? Hey, he's only 6, 326 00:15:08,890 --> 00:15:10,780 And he's already reading at a third grade level. 327 00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:13,110 Well, what happens next year when he overtakes you? 328 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:17,570 Uh, bree... ahem. Best behavior, remember? 329 00:15:17,580 --> 00:15:19,240 I am sorry, but am I supposed to sit by 330 00:15:19,250 --> 00:15:21,880 While she degrades his body and his mind? 331 00:15:23,180 --> 00:15:24,070 Fine. 332 00:15:25,660 --> 00:15:27,510 Cricize my parenting all you want. 333 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,270 I don't care, 334 00:15:29,300 --> 00:15:32,640 Because you don't get to decide how he's raised anymore. 335 00:15:32,900 --> 00:15:34,160 I'm his mother. 336 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,980 And by the way, mark your calendars, 337 00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:42,900 'Cause seven years from next saturday-- 338 00:15:42,940 --> 00:15:45,030 Benjamin's bar mitzvah. 339 00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:07,010 Isn't this cool? Dave brought his drums over so we could jam. 340 00:16:07,020 --> 00:16:08,420 Your boy is pretty good. Yeah, 341 00:16:08,430 --> 00:16:10,530 And we figured out we got bass, we got drums 342 00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:13,570 Mike plays guitar. I think orson plays keyboards. 343 00:16:13,580 --> 00:16:17,100 You see where I am going with this? I do, but I'm hoping I'm wrong. 344 00:16:17,250 --> 00:16:19,220 We're gonna start a garage band! 345 00:16:19,230 --> 00:16:21,930 And I wasn't! Maybe if we get good enough, 346 00:16:21,940 --> 00:16:23,540 We can even get, like, a couple of gigs. 347 00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:27,070 How fun would that be? "Gigs"? Did you just say "gigs"? 348 00:16:28,810 --> 00:16:30,710 Now all's we need is a little time to practice-- 349 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,600 A few nights a week, some weekends. 350 00:16:32,610 --> 00:16:34,110 What? Well, yeah, 351 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,560 Just until we get the rhythm section all dialed in. 352 00:16:36,570 --> 00:16:41,510 Okay, I need to dial you in to some gigs you already have, 353 00:16:41,520 --> 00:16:44,230 Which are running a restaurant, being a husband and a father. 354 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:45,760 And I thought you were the one who said 355 00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,850 You wanted to spend more time with your family. 356 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,760 But we could play clubs. 357 00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:54,150 I mean, he's just having a little fun, lynette. 358 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,730 Guys need to blow off steam. 359 00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,130 Could you just... for a sec? 360 00:16:58,140 --> 00:17:02,450 Come on. You know I'm right. You're far too busy for this. 361 00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:12,070 You can't just decide for me like that. 362 00:17:12,860 --> 00:17:14,330 I mean, if I wanna play bass, 363 00:17:15,150 --> 00:17:17,130 I will play bass. 364 00:17:17,580 --> 00:17:19,030 I'm not hurting anybody. 365 00:17:19,040 --> 00:17:21,260 Those of us with hearing beg to differ. 366 00:17:21,430 --> 00:17:22,620 Okay, you know what? 367 00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:24,690 Please leave our rehearsal space. 368 00:17:24,700 --> 00:17:27,620 Oh, come on, tom. This is not your-- 369 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,790 Guys, hey, knock it off back there. 370 00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,340 Oh, god. What now? 371 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,880 Oh. Hey. What's up? 372 00:18:15,300 --> 00:18:16,380 You sold me a lemon. 373 00:18:16,390 --> 00:18:17,520 That's what's up. 374 00:18:17,950 --> 00:18:19,100 What are you talking about? 375 00:18:19,110 --> 00:18:20,120 Your car! 376 00:18:20,130 --> 00:18:23,180 I took it to a mechanic, who told me the radiator's shot. 377 00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:25,460 Oh. That. Yeah. 378 00:18:25,500 --> 00:18:29,050 It's been giving me trouble for years. Just use the jug. 379 00:18:29,380 --> 00:18:30,350 What jug? 380 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:32,650 Oh, it's in the trunk. You just keep it full of water, 381 00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:34,850 And when the radiator overheats, you fill it up. 382 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,770 Oh, and, uh, try not going up hills 383 00:18:37,780 --> 00:18:39,550 And stay in the shade as much as possible. 384 00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:43,700 Okay, I-I can't drive around avoiding gravity and the sun. 385 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,130 Well, sorry. 386 00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:48,250 If you want a car with no flaws, buy a new one. 387 00:18:48,430 --> 00:18:50,270 Or I could get the radiator fixed, 388 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,250 Which is gonna cost $300, whichyouare paying for. 389 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,640 Remember full disclosure? Crap? 390 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:00,380 This is your car. It's your problem. 391 00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:02,780 Okay, you know what? That's it. I wanna talk to your mother. 392 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:05,780 Uh, well, she's in a meeting right now. 393 00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,450 Can I take a message? Damn it, andrew. 394 00:19:09,180 --> 00:19:11,550 You tell bree to call me by the end of the day. 395 00:19:11,930 --> 00:19:13,740 May I ask what it's regarding? 396 00:19:18,300 --> 00:19:20,260 All right, we'll talk about it more later, buddy. 397 00:19:20,270 --> 00:19:22,590 Why don't you go on outside and play for a while? Okay. 398 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:28,850 Well, what did he say? Well, he still won't tell me who's picking on him, 399 00:19:28,860 --> 00:19:30,120 But he did ask me to teach him how to 400 00:19:30,130 --> 00:19:33,410 Fight.He's only 5. I don't want him fighting 401 00:19:33,420 --> 00:19:34,820 I'm sorry, b every boy 402 00:19:34,830 --> 00:19:37,270 Has to learn how to throw a punch eventually. Ugh. 403 00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:38,970 You know, if you wanna give him a leg up, 404 00:19:38,980 --> 00:19:42,580 You could teach him a little capoeira. Capo-What? 405 00:19:42,590 --> 00:19:44,410 Oh, it's a brazilian martial art 406 00:19:44,420 --> 00:19:45,960 That incorporates dance. 407 00:19:47,260 --> 00:19:48,690 Yeah, 'cause there's nothing scarier 408 00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:52,750 Than a guy coming at ya with jazz hands. That's funny, but actually, 409 00:19:52,940 --> 00:19:55,410 The dance part's to catch your opponent off guard. 410 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,660 Like that? No, there's a little more nuance to it. 411 00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:00,140 Ooh! Like that. 412 00:20:00,150 --> 00:20:01,500 Where's the "dance" part? 413 00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:04,620 Oh! There it is, ginger! 414 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,670 You know what, boys? Not in the house. 415 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:12,030 Oh, my god! 416 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,450 Give it back! It's my ball! It's my ball now. 417 00:20:15,460 --> 00:20:18,010 Hey! You leave him alone. 418 00:20:19,470 --> 00:20:21,440 Oh! Honey! 419 00:20:21,890 --> 00:20:25,330 Is that who's been picking on you? Juanita solis? 420 00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:28,730 Well, she is going to get a big surprise, 421 00:20:28,740 --> 00:20:29,770 Because your daddy 422 00:20:29,780 --> 00:20:32,440 Is about to turn you into a killing machine. 423 00:20:33,110 --> 00:20:35,860 Uh, m.J., can I talk to your mom for a second? 424 00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:42,040 What? 425 00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:44,130 I can't teach him to hit a girl. 426 00:20:44,890 --> 00:20:47,170 That's not just any girl. You saw her. 427 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,090 She could take down a small deer. 428 00:20:49,490 --> 00:20:50,510 It doesn't matter. 429 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,430 If it wears a skirt, it's off-Limits. 430 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:53,750 That is sexi. 431 00:20:53,770 --> 00:20:56,580 If feminism means anything, it's that it's okay 432 00:20:56,590 --> 00:20:58,880 For a big, mean girl to get her butt kicked. 433 00:20:58,890 --> 00:20:59,930 You, teach him 434 00:20:59,940 --> 00:21:03,160 One of those brazilian kung fu cha-Cha things. 435 00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:05,220 I'm with mike. 436 00:21:05,390 --> 00:21:06,740 You can't hit girls. 437 00:21:07,460 --> 00:21:09,790 Ah! Couple of wusses. 438 00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:11,210 I'll handle it myself. 439 00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:15,680 Oops! Didn't see that coming. 440 00:21:16,110 --> 00:21:18,700 Just for that, I'm breaking my rule about not hitting girls. 441 00:21:21,110 --> 00:21:23,060 Ga, we have a problem. 442 00:21:23,070 --> 00:21:24,670 I just saw juanita push m.J. Down. 443 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,110 Really? 444 00:21:26,120 --> 00:21:27,040 Really. 445 00:21:27,190 --> 00:21:30,340 It's not the first time. Juanita's been bullying him. 446 00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,850 Wow. I'm sorry. I'll talk to her. 447 00:21:33,930 --> 00:21:34,990 Thank you. 448 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,640 And don't worry. No one will hear about this from me. 449 00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:39,130 Hear what? 450 00:21:40,070 --> 00:21:42,160 That m.J.'S getting beat up by a little girl. 451 00:21:42,790 --> 00:21:43,740 Well... 452 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:45,730 A girl. 453 00:21:47,030 --> 00:21:48,220 Are you suggesting 454 00:21:48,230 --> 00:21:50,290 That juanita is fat for her age? 455 00:21:50,660 --> 00:21:52,910 Gaby, juanita's fat for your age. 456 00:21:54,140 --> 00:21:55,200 Yeah? Well, let's face it. 457 00:21:55,210 --> 00:21:57,020 M.J. Could get beaten up by a kitten. 458 00:21:57,370 --> 00:21:58,460 You know what? 459 00:21:58,940 --> 00:22:01,340 Maybe you could teach your daughter 460 00:22:01,350 --> 00:22:03,580 How to use her words and not her fists. 461 00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:08,900 Yeah? Or maybe you could teach your son to grow a pair! 462 00:22:18,780 --> 00:22:19,880 What you looking at? 463 00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:22,290 Oh, just some old pictures. 464 00:22:23,170 --> 00:22:25,060 Can you guess who that little girl is? 465 00:22:28,740 --> 00:22:31,660 That's your mom way back when she was your age. 466 00:22:31,910 --> 00:22:33,120 What's she eating? 467 00:22:33,380 --> 00:22:35,780 Oh! Uh, a hot dog. 468 00:22:35,850 --> 00:22:37,310 No way. 469 00:22:37,340 --> 00:22:39,980 Oh, yes. Your mother loved hot dogs. 470 00:22:39,990 --> 00:22:41,810 Every day at lunchtime, she'd say to me, 471 00:22:41,820 --> 00:22:44,310 "Mommy, I want hot dog." 472 00:22:44,500 --> 00:22:46,340 How come she doesn't eat them now? 473 00:22:46,650 --> 00:22:48,820 Well, because she's all grown-Up. 474 00:22:48,980 --> 00:22:50,900 You see, hot dogs and hamburgers 475 00:22:50,910 --> 00:22:52,490 Are what make little boys and girls 476 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,700 Grow up to be big and strong. 477 00:22:54,710 --> 00:22:57,180 And now that she's grown-Up, she doesn't need them anymore. 478 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,710 Doesn't mommy want me to be big and strong? 479 00:23:00,300 --> 00:23:02,370 I've been asking myself that all day. 480 00:23:03,670 --> 00:23:06,120 Maybe she's afraid if you get big, 481 00:23:06,330 --> 00:23:09,100 You'll leave home and go play for the red sox. 482 00:23:09,180 --> 00:23:11,680 But I want to get big. I want to play baseball. 483 00:23:12,460 --> 00:23:15,030 Oh. Well... 484 00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:17,280 In that case... 485 00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:23,840 Can I? 486 00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:26,340 You have to promise not to tell your mommy. 487 00:23:26,650 --> 00:23:27,970 Okay. 488 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:34,620 Well, what do you think? 489 00:23:35,690 --> 00:23:37,740 It's like tofu, only better. 490 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:39,820 Yes. 491 00:23:40,350 --> 00:23:41,670 Yes, it is. 492 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,080 Two three four 493 00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,820 When tom scavo through himself 494 00:23:50,830 --> 00:23:52,700 Into his new hobby. 495 00:23:55,340 --> 00:23:56,690 His wife told herself 496 00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:59,980 It was a phase, and it would pass quickly. 497 00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:05,600 But three hours later, she realized 498 00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:09,560 It could not pass quickly enough. 499 00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:14,300 So lynette began to plot 500 00:24:14,310 --> 00:24:17,910 Against her husband's instrument of torture. 501 00:24:19,080 --> 00:24:21,330 Ooh! Careful, honey. 502 00:24:21,340 --> 00:24:22,140 Sorry. 503 00:24:22,150 --> 00:24:25,450 You could break your dad's guitar and... 504 00:24:25,770 --> 00:24:28,650 It was at that moment her daughter 505 00:24:28,660 --> 00:24:33,070 Provided her an idea for a... simple accident... 506 00:24:34,790 --> 00:24:38,760 And... a clean alibi. 507 00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:47,860 Damn it! 508 00:24:50,900 --> 00:24:52,690 Hey, is everything all right? Oh, my! 509 00:24:52,700 --> 00:24:54,750 It was lying in the middle of the floor! 510 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:58,140 How in the world did that happen? Has penny been playing in here again? 511 00:24:58,150 --> 00:24:59,750 I've told her a million times! 512 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:02,710 Now I'm sure it was an accident, tom. Please don't yell at her. 513 00:25:02,720 --> 00:25:05,000 This was a $1,600 bass. 514 00:25:05,010 --> 00:25:06,890 I can't afford to replace it. 515 00:25:07,450 --> 00:25:09,040 Penny lynn scavo! 516 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,120 Where is she? 517 00:25:11,210 --> 00:25:12,480 Oh, tom! 518 00:25:14,130 --> 00:25:15,580 She's up in her room. 519 00:25:22,700 --> 00:25:24,970 I'm gonna go play outside. 520 00:25:25,170 --> 00:25:27,210 Oh! Wait. Your forgot your whistle. 521 00:25:28,030 --> 00:25:29,460 Okay, sweetie. 522 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,790 This is just to be on the safe side. 523 00:25:31,830 --> 00:25:33,950 If juanita comes around, you just blow it. 524 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,230 I'll be right there. Okay. 525 00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:37,350 Good boy. 526 00:25:50,670 --> 00:25:52,700 Hey, give me back my whistle! 527 00:25:54,150 --> 00:25:57,710 Juanita solis, don't you move! You are in big trouble! 528 00:25:59,460 --> 00:26:00,930 What's on your head? 529 00:26:01,180 --> 00:26:02,760 Never mind. 530 00:26:02,870 --> 00:26:04,300 What did you do to m.J.? 531 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:07,040 He wouldn't let me blow his whistle. 532 00:26:07,050 --> 00:26:09,480 So your solution was to push him down? 533 00:26:09,490 --> 00:26:11,000 Do you think that's nice? 534 00:26:11,120 --> 00:26:14,840 How would you feel if someone did that to you? I wouldn't care. 535 00:26:14,850 --> 00:26:17,340 Oh, really? You don't think it would hurt? 536 00:26:17,350 --> 00:26:18,580 Even if it did... 537 00:26:18,590 --> 00:26:22,050 I'm not a crybaby like m.J. 538 00:26:29,250 --> 00:26:30,440 I'm sorry. 539 00:26:30,590 --> 00:26:33,360 Juanita, I just wanted you to see how it felt. 540 00:26:33,630 --> 00:26:35,090 Are you okay? 541 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:37,000 Susan, I saw that! 542 00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:38,320 Kids, get inside! 543 00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:41,710 Okay, first off, it wasn't as bad as it looked. 544 00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:44,290 Really? 'Cause it looked like you body-Slammed my daughter. 545 00:26:44,360 --> 00:26:46,870 I barely tapped her. She was milking it. 546 00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,750 That's your defense? You were only assaulting her "a little"? 547 00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:52,550 I was trying to teach her not to be a bully-- 548 00:26:52,560 --> 00:26:54,810 Something she should have learned from her mother. 549 00:26:54,820 --> 00:26:57,510 Well, I'm sorry. I was too busy trying to explain to her 550 00:26:57,520 --> 00:27:00,190 Why m.J. Doesn't wear a dress like all the other little girls. 551 00:27:00,580 --> 00:27:02,610 This conversation is over. 552 00:27:02,910 --> 00:27:06,170 Tell bob and lee that I'll pay for the dent in their lawn. 553 00:27:08,820 --> 00:27:10,370 You did not! 554 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:11,790 I did. 555 00:27:13,910 --> 00:27:15,040 You know what? 556 00:27:15,910 --> 00:27:18,350 We've both been incredibly childish here, 557 00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,300 And it is time one of us took the high road, 558 00:27:20,310 --> 00:27:22,390 So I am now going to walk away. 559 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,390 Please take note of this conflict resolution 560 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:28,100 And try to pass the lesson on to your daughter. 561 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,270 You can dye that hair all you want, 562 00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:32,220 But the gray's just gonna keep coming. 563 00:27:43,770 --> 00:27:45,580 And they call me white trash. 564 00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,520 You got a minute? Yeah. Sure. Come on in. 565 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:00,430 I, uh, I heard there was a little accident. 566 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,730 So... 567 00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,230 I got this for tom. 568 00:28:05,570 --> 00:28:07,600 You bought tom a new bass? 569 00:28:07,610 --> 00:28:10,220 It's not as smooth as his old one, but it's good. 570 00:28:10,770 --> 00:28:12,120 We can't accept this. 571 00:28:12,420 --> 00:28:15,390 It's mostly selfish on my part. I was having too much fun. 572 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:16,630 Well, sorry. 573 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,390 But maybe you could go skateboarding with orson. 574 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:21,730 All right. 575 00:28:21,740 --> 00:28:22,900 Forget about me. 576 00:28:24,420 --> 00:28:25,690 Tom was having fun. 577 00:28:26,170 --> 00:28:28,650 And from what I've seen, he needs it. 578 00:28:30,910 --> 00:28:33,970 And what makes you think you know what my husband needs? 579 00:28:35,090 --> 00:28:36,810 Just something that I saw the other day, 580 00:28:36,820 --> 00:28:39,260 When you were making him get rid of all his things. 581 00:28:40,130 --> 00:28:41,420 You mean his junk? 582 00:28:41,610 --> 00:28:42,770 It may be junk to you, 583 00:28:42,780 --> 00:28:43,930 But to tom... 584 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,020 Well, that was stuff he was gonna get around to. 585 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,850 You know what a midlife crisis is? 586 00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:56,270 I'm married to a 45-Year-Old man who has a red convertible. 587 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:57,730 Yeah, I think I know. 588 00:28:57,770 --> 00:29:01,770 But you know how it happens? A man gets to a certain age, 589 00:29:02,060 --> 00:29:05,810 And he realizes... he's gonna die someday. 590 00:29:06,930 --> 00:29:08,280 Really die. 591 00:29:09,250 --> 00:29:13,600 And what's worse is that he's everything he's ever gonna be. 592 00:29:14,420 --> 00:29:16,120 He's never gonna be rich. 593 00:29:18,070 --> 00:29:19,490 He's never gonna climb a mountain. 594 00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:24,700 Now some guys do bad things 595 00:29:24,710 --> 00:29:26,680 When they get those thoughts in their heads. 596 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:29,050 By comparison, 597 00:29:29,230 --> 00:29:31,280 Playing in a garage band-- Well... 598 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:33,340 It seems pretty harmless. 599 00:29:38,810 --> 00:29:41,930 So... now my marriage is in trouble, 600 00:29:41,940 --> 00:29:43,960 And you're gonna save it by giving tom a bass? 601 00:29:43,970 --> 00:29:47,020 No. No. I'm not. 602 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:51,520 You are. 603 00:30:07,700 --> 00:30:09,710 Most of the guys in my class went into corporate law, 604 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:11,180 But I wanted to do something 605 00:30:11,190 --> 00:30:13,250 That would influence environmental policy. 606 00:30:13,300 --> 00:30:15,330 That's how he ended up at the e.P.A. 607 00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:25,080 So, leo, where did you study law? 608 00:30:25,090 --> 00:30:26,150 Cornell. 609 00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:27,280 Now I'm jealous. 610 00:30:27,290 --> 00:30:29,320 I always wished that I'd gone to a school like cornell. 611 00:30:29,330 --> 00:30:32,580 But... it just wasn't in the cards for me. 612 00:30:33,020 --> 00:30:34,260 How about you, dave? 613 00:30:34,660 --> 00:30:37,230 Me? No. Wasn't in my cards, either. 614 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:38,610 So where did you go? 615 00:30:39,580 --> 00:30:41,860 After listening to leo, I'd be embarrassed to tell you. 616 00:30:41,870 --> 00:30:43,310 So... e.P.A. 617 00:30:43,770 --> 00:30:45,450 What's your opinion on global warming-- 618 00:30:45,460 --> 00:30:46,760 Fact or fiction? 619 00:30:47,130 --> 00:30:48,480 Hold on, darling. 620 00:30:48,490 --> 00:30:50,590 Mrs. Mccluskey asked you a question. 621 00:30:50,660 --> 00:30:52,880 Tell her where you went to school. 622 00:30:56,970 --> 00:30:59,700 Oh, edie, I think she was just making conversation. So-- 623 00:30:59,710 --> 00:31:01,660 Okay, then why don't you tell me where you went? 624 00:31:01,860 --> 00:31:04,770 After all, I am your wife. Shouldn't I know? 625 00:31:14,090 --> 00:31:16,550 Actually, I didn't go to college. 626 00:31:20,140 --> 00:31:21,520 I took a job out of high school 627 00:31:21,530 --> 00:31:24,670 Because my family was having a hard time. 628 00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:28,940 Not having a degree is something that has always 629 00:31:28,950 --> 00:31:30,330 Been embarrassing to me, 630 00:31:30,340 --> 00:31:33,590 Especially when I'm with people who do. 631 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:40,480 So, my darling, is there anything else 632 00:31:40,490 --> 00:31:42,270 You'd like to quiz me about in public? 633 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,560 My... childhood stuttering? 634 00:31:44,570 --> 00:31:46,270 My dad's drinking problems? 635 00:31:51,150 --> 00:31:53,280 No. I'm... good. 636 00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:01,330 I came to say I'm sorry. 637 00:32:02,190 --> 00:32:03,760 You attacked my child and then me. 638 00:32:03,770 --> 00:32:05,500 Why should I even listen to you? 639 00:32:06,920 --> 00:32:08,200 I brought booze. 640 00:32:09,520 --> 00:32:10,760 Come on in. 641 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:15,090 Like, I have this rule-- 642 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:16,900 No toy guns. 643 00:32:17,010 --> 00:32:19,830 Except everything that m.J. Picks up-- 644 00:32:19,840 --> 00:32:23,110 Whether it's a hairbrush, a hanger, everything-- 645 00:32:23,290 --> 00:32:26,860 He pretends it's a gun. Well, what do you expect? He's a boy. 646 00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:28,370 That's my point! 647 00:32:28,380 --> 00:32:30,910 I know nothing about raising boys. 648 00:32:30,940 --> 00:32:32,870 And I think m.J. Has figured this out, 649 00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:36,310 So he goes straight to mike whenever there's a problem. 650 00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,490 But that's okay. Mike's a great dad. 651 00:32:38,500 --> 00:32:41,520 Yeah, sure, on alternate weekends. 652 00:32:41,830 --> 00:32:42,990 That's fine... 653 00:32:44,020 --> 00:32:45,920 Until... m.J. Needs his daddy, 654 00:32:45,930 --> 00:32:47,440 And his daddy's not there. 655 00:32:48,430 --> 00:32:50,590 San, it's not your fault. 656 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,190 Well, we split up, 657 00:32:54,200 --> 00:32:57,580 So it's at least half my fault any way you slice it. 658 00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,900 Well, if it's any consolation, 659 00:32:59,910 --> 00:33:03,000 Carlos is a hands-On, full-Time dad, 660 00:33:03,110 --> 00:33:06,290 And I still feel like I'm not getting the job done, 661 00:33:06,300 --> 00:33:09,190 Like... I'm not preparing them enough. 662 00:33:10,690 --> 00:33:11,950 Preparing them for what? 663 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:13,610 For how hard life is. 664 00:33:13,770 --> 00:33:14,990 I mean, I have to admit, 665 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:17,400 When you told me juanita was bullying m.J., 666 00:33:17,410 --> 00:33:19,370 My first thought was, thank god! 667 00:33:19,560 --> 00:33:21,320 Let her do the pushing, 668 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,240 Just as long as she's not a victim. 669 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:27,960 Well, I don't see any kid of yours being a victim. 670 00:33:28,300 --> 00:33:30,270 You're the strongest person I know. 671 00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:34,130 I used to be. 672 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:38,520 Look at my life, susan. 673 00:33:38,530 --> 00:33:39,750 I... 674 00:33:41,380 --> 00:33:42,800 I've been beaten down. 675 00:33:46,270 --> 00:33:48,100 Well, I thought I had you beaten today, 676 00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:51,150 And next think I knew, I was eathing grass. 677 00:33:53,330 --> 00:33:55,310 Today doesn't count. Today I was mad. 678 00:33:58,630 --> 00:34:00,770 Maybe you need to get mad more often. 679 00:34:04,950 --> 00:34:06,250 Maybe you're right. 680 00:34:07,910 --> 00:34:09,090 This is nice. 681 00:34:09,250 --> 00:34:10,980 We should rumble all the time. 682 00:34:13,190 --> 00:34:15,000 To susan mayer-- 683 00:34:15,380 --> 00:34:16,420 Good mom. 684 00:34:17,130 --> 00:34:19,030 To gabrielle solis-- 685 00:34:19,140 --> 00:34:20,670 Another good mom. 686 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:25,000 Mommy, we're hungry! 687 00:34:25,060 --> 00:34:27,960 So?! There's waffles in the freezer! 688 00:34:29,340 --> 00:34:31,110 And get mommy some ice! 689 00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:35,990 Isn't this nice? 690 00:34:36,050 --> 00:34:37,320 For the first time in years, 691 00:34:37,330 --> 00:34:40,180 My family is all here under the same roof. 692 00:34:41,230 --> 00:34:43,180 Here's to many more meals together. 693 00:34:43,190 --> 00:34:45,560 Yes. Aw. Welcome home. Cheers. 694 00:34:46,470 --> 00:34:48,990 I don't feel good, danielle. 695 00:34:48,990 --> 00:34:50,160 "Danielle"? 696 00:34:51,140 --> 00:34:55,000 I think I'm gonna be sick. Let's get you to the powder room. 697 00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:03,150 Here we are-- 698 00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,120 Mushroom risotto. 699 00:35:05,510 --> 00:35:07,640 There's an unfortunate coincidence. 700 00:35:07,990 --> 00:35:09,900 I'm so sorry, mom. I'll clean it up. 701 00:35:09,910 --> 00:35:12,980 No, um, you take benjy upstairs. I'll get it. 702 00:35:13,220 --> 00:35:15,750 Orson, could you get the mop, please? 703 00:35:18,260 --> 00:35:20,350 Oh, my god. Is that meat? 704 00:35:21,510 --> 00:35:22,270 No! 705 00:35:22,290 --> 00:35:23,470 Of course not. 706 00:35:23,480 --> 00:35:25,050 Does this look like meat to you? 707 00:35:25,660 --> 00:35:27,710 It's... hard to tell. 708 00:35:28,020 --> 00:35:28,980 Just so we're clear, 709 00:35:28,990 --> 00:35:31,580 What I'm about to throw up is a western omelet. 710 00:35:31,590 --> 00:35:33,180 That is not meat. 711 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:36,150 That piece right there-- That's definitely meat! 712 00:35:36,610 --> 00:35:38,140 Still waiting on that mop. 713 00:35:39,180 --> 00:35:40,680 What did grandma give you to eat? 714 00:35:40,690 --> 00:35:42,240 She said not to tell. 715 00:35:46,500 --> 00:35:49,730 You gave him meat and then told him to lie?! 716 00:35:52,140 --> 00:35:54,090 I gave him a hot dog, all right? 717 00:35:54,100 --> 00:35:56,330 He liked it so much, he asked for another. 718 00:35:56,520 --> 00:35:58,100 Two hot dogs? 719 00:35:58,270 --> 00:35:59,030 All right, 720 00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,130 I'll concede the second one was clearly a mistake. 721 00:36:03,910 --> 00:36:05,460 Come on, leo. We're leaving. 722 00:36:05,870 --> 00:36:08,160 No! Danielle, please. I'm sorry, orson. 723 00:36:08,170 --> 00:36:10,410 She's made it impossible for us to stay in this house. 724 00:36:10,420 --> 00:36:12,350 Danielle, wait, wait. 725 00:36:18,260 --> 00:36:19,950 Well, we can still drink, right? 726 00:36:19,960 --> 00:36:21,050 Oh, yeah. 727 00:36:24,770 --> 00:36:27,220 Well, I've apologized till I'm blue in the face, 728 00:36:27,230 --> 00:36:29,130 But they're still leaving in the morning. 729 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:35,740 Now you're not speaking to me, either? 730 00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:39,960 They're just mad. 731 00:36:39,970 --> 00:36:41,720 Things will be better next time. 732 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,050 You honestly think there'll be a next time? 733 00:36:45,500 --> 00:36:48,000 It took us three years to talk them into this visit. 734 00:36:48,240 --> 00:36:49,430 It took you one day... 735 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:50,920 To ruin it. 736 00:36:51,590 --> 00:36:53,270 Orson, I'm truly sorry. 737 00:36:54,270 --> 00:36:56,330 It's just, seeing... 738 00:36:56,490 --> 00:36:58,890 All these mistakes that she's making with benjamin, 739 00:36:58,900 --> 00:37:00,480 It's just so hard for me. 740 00:37:00,720 --> 00:37:02,170 You know what hard for me? 741 00:37:04,930 --> 00:37:06,240 When I left for prison, 742 00:37:06,830 --> 00:37:09,640 Benjamin was in my house, he was in my life. 743 00:37:11,230 --> 00:37:12,690 He called me "daddy." 744 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:16,160 And when I came home, he was gone. 745 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,220 And you think that's my fault? 746 00:37:21,230 --> 00:37:23,300 Yes, I do. 747 00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:25,810 Orson, you weren't here. 748 00:37:26,090 --> 00:37:29,430 She came back. She was married to a lawyer. 749 00:37:29,820 --> 00:37:31,790 And don't forget, she is his mother! 750 00:37:33,150 --> 00:37:34,710 I tried to fight, but-- 751 00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,380 You should've fought harder. 752 00:37:37,710 --> 00:37:39,910 I was on my knees. I was sobbing. 753 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:42,600 She said "no" and then ripped him out of my arms. 754 00:37:43,310 --> 00:37:45,110 You have no right to say that to me. 755 00:37:57,560 --> 00:37:59,400 You kind of blindsided me tonight. 756 00:38:00,680 --> 00:38:03,170 I know. I am so sorry. 757 00:38:06,330 --> 00:38:08,030 I was clearly uncomfortable. 758 00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:11,110 I don't understand why you kept pressing me. 759 00:38:13,530 --> 00:38:16,690 Honestly, it was all karen mccluskey's fault. 760 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:19,920 Really? How so? 761 00:38:20,290 --> 00:38:23,250 Well, she kept asking me all this stuff about yr background 762 00:38:23,260 --> 00:38:25,400 And why I don't know more about you, and... 763 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,230 I should've just never let her get to me. 764 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:34,220 It's okay, sweetie. 765 00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:36,440 Now I understand. 766 00:38:41,930 --> 00:38:43,620 Kind of sad when you think about it. 767 00:38:44,150 --> 00:38:47,480 What do you mean? Oh... maybe you guys don't notice 768 00:38:47,490 --> 00:38:49,000 Because you're so used to her. 769 00:38:51,280 --> 00:38:53,350 But her behavior reminds me of my grandmother, 770 00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:54,980 When we first started to notice... 771 00:38:55,940 --> 00:38:57,450 The dementia, that is. 772 00:38:58,180 --> 00:39:00,130 You think karen's going senile? 773 00:39:01,310 --> 00:39:02,910 I remember my poor grandmother... 774 00:39:04,980 --> 00:39:06,600 Started getting so paranoid. 775 00:39:07,990 --> 00:39:10,420 She thought people were breaking into her house and... 776 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:12,800 Stealing her things. 777 00:39:14,950 --> 00:39:16,480 We finally had to put her in a home. 778 00:39:19,650 --> 00:39:21,800 I just hope that doesn't happen to karen. 779 00:39:37,480 --> 00:39:39,340 I want my 300 bucks. 780 00:39:39,630 --> 00:39:42,810 I told you. It's your car. You deal with it. 781 00:39:42,970 --> 00:39:44,810 That's it? No compassion? 782 00:39:44,820 --> 00:39:47,440 No, "hey, let's split the bill and call it even"? 783 00:39:48,080 --> 00:39:51,240 Look at it this way. You're not losing 300 bucks. 784 00:39:51,250 --> 00:39:54,510 You're gaining a valuable lesson--Buyer beware. 785 00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:58,430 True. Now here's a valuable lesson for you. 786 00:40:06,160 --> 00:40:08,270 What t hell is wrong with you?! Give me my money, 787 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,870 Or next time we're trading paint. You're bluffing. 788 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:13,510 I am tired of being a victim, andrew. 789 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:15,730 And trust me, that is no bluff. 790 00:40:17,940 --> 00:40:20,850 Hey! You--You touch my car, and you're paying for it. 791 00:40:20,860 --> 00:40:24,550 Luckily, I'm insured. Oh, wait. Our policy lapsed. 792 00:40:24,620 --> 00:40:26,370 Hope you've got good coverage. 793 00:40:30,070 --> 00:40:31,830 Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait, wait. 794 00:40:32,770 --> 00:40:33,930 I'll get my checkbook. 795 00:40:34,420 --> 00:40:35,750 I prefer cash. 796 00:40:41,310 --> 00:40:42,520 Bullies... 797 00:40:43,600 --> 00:40:46,190 Any adult will tell you the playground 798 00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,870 Is not the only place to find them. 799 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:54,060 Everywhere you look, you can find people unconcerned 800 00:40:54,070 --> 00:40:57,170 Or unaware of the pain they inflict. 801 00:40:58,760 --> 00:41:00,480 It might be a neighbor 802 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,390 Preying on the suspicions of her friend... 803 00:41:05,340 --> 00:41:06,560 Or a daughter 804 00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:09,550 Punishing the choices of her mother. 805 00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:17,210 Or a housewife seeking justice 806 00:41:17,220 --> 00:41:19,850 From the man who sold her a car. 807 00:41:21,960 --> 00:41:22,950 Yes... 808 00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:25,420 There are bullies everywhere. 809 00:41:25,530 --> 00:41:29,940 And the worst are the ones who take advantage of you 810 00:41:30,320 --> 00:41:32,530 Without you ever knowing 811 00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,170 What they've done. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net