1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,330
previously on...
2
00:00:02,360 --> 00:00:04,240
does this relationship have a future?
3
00:00:04,260 --> 00:00:06,230
Can't we just keep going the way we are?
4
00:00:06,260 --> 00:00:07,760
Jackson left.
5
00:00:07,780 --> 00:00:09,630
Orson's lying to magain.
6
00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:10,920
Bree made a decision.
7
00:00:10,940 --> 00:00:12,600
So I think I have to divorce him.
8
00:00:12,620 --> 00:00:13,900
Karl signed up.
9
00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:15,920
Karl, what are you doing here?
10
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:17,730
Well, I just enrolled evan.
11
00:00:18,530 --> 00:00:20,130
And susan confessed.
12
00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,140
Mike and I got in a car accident.
13
00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:23,270
Mike was driving, right?
14
00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:25,340
That's what we said, but it wasn't true.
15
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,820
He took the blame for me.
16
00:00:33,370 --> 00:00:37,960
on this street, the
bargaining begins at sunrise...
17
00:00:38,780 --> 00:00:44,890
an old woman offers a paperboy a generous
tip if he'll throw the paper onto her porch...
18
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:52,190
a wife tells her husband she'll make his
favorite dinner if he'll bring home roses...
19
00:00:54,180 --> 00:01:00,440
a man tells his neighbor he'll take in his
garbage cans the day she finally mows her lawn.
20
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:06,820
Yes, on wisteria lane,
everyone knows how to bargain--
21
00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:09,680
absolutely everyone.
22
00:01:09,690 --> 00:01:13,100
I don't want oatmeal.
Can I have pancakes?
23
00:01:13,110 --> 00:01:15,450
Katherine's not a
short order cook, buddy.
24
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:18,570
If she made oatmeal for
breakfast, we're having oatmeal.
25
00:01:18,590 --> 00:01:19,590
I tell you what, M.J.
26
00:01:19,630 --> 00:01:24,170
If you finish just half of it, I will
make candied apples for your sleepover.
27
00:01:24,180 --> 00:01:26,030
I love candy apples.
28
00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:28,190
She's letting you off
easy. You should thank her.
29
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:29,870
Thank you, katherine.
30
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:32,800
You are so welcome, you sweet thing.
31
00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:37,120
Dad, are you gonna marry katherine?
32
00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:45,500
that's, um... I don't know.
33
00:01:46,170 --> 00:01:47,790
Why not?
34
00:01:47,810 --> 00:01:51,800
Oh, well, oh, because we
haven't talked about marriage.
35
00:01:52,130 --> 00:01:54,500
Why not?
36
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,050
M.J., You're being rude.
37
00:01:57,070 --> 00:01:59,040
Oh, I'm not offended.
38
00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,900
Don't you wanna marry katherine?
39
00:02:03,910 --> 00:02:09,240
well... I love her. She's
absolutely fantastic.
40
00:02:09,250 --> 00:02:12,120
So why don't you marry her?
41
00:02:12,130 --> 00:02:14,010
Can you help me out here?
42
00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,060
Are you kidding?
43
00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:21,940
Buddy, um, when it comes
to marriage, the truth is...
44
00:02:22,870 --> 00:02:25,650
Would you look at the
time? I'm late for work.
45
00:02:25,940 --> 00:02:28,270
we're gonna have to
talk about this later.
46
00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:30,680
- Coward.
- You got that right.
47
00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:35,750
How'd I do?
48
00:02:35,770 --> 00:02:37,320
You were great.
49
00:02:37,340 --> 00:02:39,490
But he didn't answer me.
50
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:42,790
Doesn't matter. Issue's on the table.
51
00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:49,560
Yes, on this street, the negotiating
begins at sunrise, and it doesn't end...
52
00:02:49,570 --> 00:02:51,900
here's the ice cream I promised you.
53
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:55,910
Until someone gets
exactly what they want.
54
00:02:55,920 --> 00:02:58,530
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
proudly presents
55
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:04,530
-=http://sfile.ydy.com=-
sync:ßÇÈâÈâ µ°¸â¸â
56
00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:06,530
Desperate
Housewives Season05 Episode21
57
00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:09,310
Walter bergen was a divorce lawyer,
58
00:03:09,330 --> 00:03:15,160
and the women who hired him always had something
to say about the men they were divorcing.
59
00:03:15,980 --> 00:03:20,460
He's always talking to his
grandmother, who died six years ago.
60
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:25,190
He spends all his money on hookers,
who may or may not be women.
61
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:31,570
He says he needs more money for the children,
and by "children," I mean racehorses.
62
00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:36,830
Yes, walter bergen
thought he had heard it all
63
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,680
until the day when one ofis
clients actually said...
64
00:03:40,710 --> 00:03:44,710
my husband is a decent man,
and I want to do right by him.
65
00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:48,650
Women who seek my services
rarely take that attitude.
66
00:03:48,660 --> 00:03:51,760
Well, I like to think of
myself as a good person.
67
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,160
I'm sure you are.
68
00:03:53,210 --> 00:03:55,380
And I wouldn't worry about your husband.
69
00:03:55,420 --> 00:03:58,770
The income he'll derive from his half
of the catering business alone should--
70
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,410
wait.I'm not planning
on giving him half.
71
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:03,740
It's my business.
72
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,530
Which you started
after you were married.
73
00:04:06,550 --> 00:04:08,920
That entitles him to half.
74
00:04:09,460 --> 00:04:13,750
I-I may have overstated things when I
described my husband as a decent man.
75
00:04:13,780 --> 00:04:16,630
He actually has a wide variety
of psychological problems.
76
00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,450
Mrs. Hodge, it's state law.
What do you want me to say?
77
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,950
I want you to say that for $300 an hour,
78
00:04:21,990 --> 00:04:26,220
you have some lawyer tricks up your
sleeve to help me protect my business.
79
00:04:26,230 --> 00:04:29,130
Surely you're not asking
me to do something criminal?
80
00:04:33,570 --> 00:04:37,540
Mrs. Hodge, didn't you say you like
to think of yourself as a good person?
81
00:04:38,860 --> 00:04:43,170
Well, clearly, I like to think of
myself as a rich person even more.
82
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,340
Full house. Bree takes the
high. Gaby gets the low.
83
00:04:51,350 --> 00:04:52,440
Split the pot.
84
00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:54,250
Oh, I hate splitting the pot.
85
00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:57,620
Well, that's the rule. There's nothing
you can do about it. So stop bitching.
86
00:04:58,190 --> 00:04:59,780
Well, you can't talk to me like that.
87
00:04:59,810 --> 00:05:03,660
I am the wife of fairview's
latino businessman of the year.
88
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:06,380
- So he finally won?
- yeah.
89
00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:10,940
There's gonna be a huge dinner, and we're
taking a picture with the mayor and his wife.
90
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:12,430
Oh, not necessarily.
91
00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:14,970
I hear they're getting divorced,
and it's gonna get ugly.
92
00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:16,780
really? How do you know?
93
00:05:16,790 --> 00:05:21,880
The wife hired the sleaziest, most
unethical divorce lawyer in town.
94
00:05:21,910 --> 00:05:24,230
Who--who's
that?
95
00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:26,110
My ex-husband.
96
00:05:26,130 --> 00:05:28,470
Oh, right. Karl's a divorce lawyer.
97
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,000
Yeah, and a total shark.
98
00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:33,500
The worst thing about our divorce was
that I couldn't hire him to represent me.
99
00:05:33,530 --> 00:05:35,630
But I thought you just split
everything done the middle.
100
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:36,790
Oh, not with karl.
101
00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:41,990
By the time he's done finding loopholes and
hiding assets, there's nothing left to split.
102
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,460
You don't say.
103
00:05:44,490 --> 00:05:49,010
Hey, ladies. Uh, lynette,
ahem. It's getting kinda late.
104
00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,360
Are you kicking us out, tom?
105
00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:56,540
Uh, no. No, just reminding lynette that
it's, uh, ten minutes till midnight,
106
00:05:56,550 --> 00:05:59,010
which means ten minutes till tomorrow.
107
00:05:59,050 --> 00:06:00,820
I got it. I'll be right up.
108
00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:06,710
What was that about?
109
00:06:06,740 --> 00:06:11,830
Tom and I are reading this book that suggests couples
make a pact to have sex every night for a month.
110
00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,680
Let me guess. Written by a guy?
111
00:06:13,690 --> 00:06:15,710
Was his name carlos solis?
112
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:22,530
we've been having some problems, so the theory
is it creates intimacy and brings you closer.
113
00:06:22,540 --> 00:06:23,580
Is it working?
114
00:06:23,590 --> 00:06:25,470
I've gotta say it is.
115
00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:28,780
You become more attuned to each
other's needs and more sensitive to--
116
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:32,110
- lynette!
- Je! Two seconds!
117
00:06:32,780 --> 00:06:33,820
We--we
should go.
118
00:06:33,830 --> 00:06:36,660
No, we're in our third week.
We got this down to a science.
119
00:06:36,670 --> 00:06:39,180
Just deal me out a few hands.
120
00:06:58,350 --> 00:07:00,980
juanita, hurry up. The bus
will be here any minute.
121
00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:03,480
Be right down!
122
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:09,030
There's an extra piece of
cinnamon toast on the table.
123
00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:11,090
Not hungry. Bye!
124
00:07:25,230 --> 00:07:27,450
susan? It's dave.
125
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,130
Hey, remember I was telling you about my
buddy that owns that boat on bass lake?
126
00:07:32,140 --> 00:07:36,940
Yeah, well, he's not using it this weekend, so
I thought maybe I'd take you and M.J.Fishing.
127
00:07:38,020 --> 00:07:42,970
Yeah, I know it's short notice, but I
really wanted to do something to thank you.
128
00:07:42,990 --> 00:07:45,380
You've been so good
to me since edie died.
129
00:07:45,390 --> 00:07:48,410
Plus I know M.J.Would love it.
130
00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:54,230
Great. I'm really looking
forward to it. Bye.
131
00:07:59,940 --> 00:08:04,600
CH****
132
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,680
hello?
133
00:08:11,510 --> 00:08:13,800
Oh, hi, principal hardy. What's up?
134
00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:17,890
She's wearing what?
135
00:08:17,900 --> 00:08:20,330
Now march in there and
wipe that stuff off!
136
00:08:20,360 --> 00:08:22,440
- You don't have to yell.
- Yes, I do.
137
00:08:22,450 --> 00:08:26,040
Do you have any idea how humiliating
it was for me to get that call today?
138
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:30,840
Now every parent in town is gonna think that
I let my 6-year-old wear makeup to school!
139
00:08:32,230 --> 00:08:35,220
And I want my makeup
back. Is it in here?
140
00:08:38,470 --> 00:08:40,730
why do you have this?
141
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:43,770
Juanita.
142
00:08:43,780 --> 00:08:46,310
******
143
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,340
why?
144
00:08:48,990 --> 00:08:53,580
Some girls at school saw you pick me up
yesterday and told me I must be adopted.
145
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,940
They said I wasn't pretty
enough to be your daughter.
146
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:05,360
how's it feeling?
147
00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:06,650
I-it's really throbbing.
148
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:08,920
- Oh, please hurry.
- Okay.
149
00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:19,990
hi there.
150
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,510
Jackson, hey. You're back.
151
00:09:23,860 --> 00:09:26,540
I needed to talk to you.
152
00:09:26,550 --> 00:09:28,890
Why didn't you call?
153
00:09:28,900 --> 00:09:30,680
I wanted to surprise you.
154
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:31,960
Well, you did.
155
00:09:33,190 --> 00:09:34,850
Oh, uh, right.
156
00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:36,980
Jackson, you remember
mrs. Mccluskey, don't you?
157
00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:39,140
Sure. How are you, mrs. Mccluskey?
158
00:09:39,150 --> 00:09:41,960
Oh, I'm in agonizing
pain. Thanks for asking.
159
00:09:41,970 --> 00:09:45,910
I'm taking her to the doctor so
he can perform a little procedure.
160
00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:48,360
He's gonna lance a boil on my backside.
161
00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:50,650
It may rupture any second.
162
00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,690
Okay.
163
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:56,150
I just had my car detailed,
so I should probably go.
164
00:09:56,430 --> 00:09:59,510
No problem. Uh, when can I see you?
165
00:10:02,480 --> 00:10:04,770
how about dinner tomorrow night?
166
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:06,700
Sounds great.
167
00:10:08,340 --> 00:10:10,320
If you t want to keep
staring at each other,
168
00:10:10,340 --> 00:10:14,710
I can just go lay down on the
lawn and die. I don't mind.
169
00:10:15,270 --> 00:10:17,380
Ll see you tomorrow.
170
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:26,220
- karl.
- Hey, mike.
171
00:10:26,230 --> 00:10:27,900
Heard M.J.'S having a sleepover.
172
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:30,560
I thought I'd hit you
up for an invitation.
173
00:10:30,570 --> 00:10:33,330
Aren't you a little old for sleepovers?
174
00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:36,230
Cards on the table. I need your help.
175
00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,020
Evan's one of the only boys in class who
wasn't invited, and he's really upset.
176
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,300
Okay, cards on the table.
177
00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,910
M.J.Says evan's a bully, and he
doesn't want him at his sleepover.
178
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,540
Well, what if I promise evan
will be on his best behavior?
179
00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:52,490
I'm sorry. It's out of my hands.
M.J.Finalized his guest list.
180
00:10:53,530 --> 00:10:57,730
Well, I think if you check that list
again, you'll notice evan's name's on there.
181
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:03,420
I'm M.J.'S dad, not his bouncer.
182
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:07,360
But... thanks.
183
00:11:08,430 --> 00:11:09,990
Hey, honey. How's your day going?
184
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,710
Very exciting. Just got
back from the grocery store.
185
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:17,880
It is double coupon day, sorta like the
oscars and the super bowl all rolled into one.
186
00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:20,460
did you remember to get my, um...
187
00:11:20,490 --> 00:11:22,110
my special deodorant?
188
00:11:22,140 --> 00:11:26,260
I sure did. milady's armpits
will be aluminum-free.
189
00:11:26,270 --> 00:11:28,090
How is your day?
190
00:11:28,110 --> 00:11:30,050
I'm totally slammed,
which is why I'm calling.
191
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:34,350
It looks like I'm gonna be here late
tonight, and by "late," I mean past midnight.
192
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,330
Wait. W-what about our pact?
193
00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,410
We'll... double up tomorrow.
194
00:11:38,420 --> 00:11:41,380
Lynette, I have been looking
forward to this all day.
195
00:11:41,410 --> 00:11:43,250
I know, and I'm really sorry.
196
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:46,310
Listen, I gotta go. I will
call you later. I love you. Bye.
197
00:11:54,720 --> 00:11:57,730
tom. What are you doing
here? Is everything all right?
198
00:11:57,740 --> 00:11:59,600
Everything's fine.
199
00:11:59,630 --> 00:12:04,030
Well, then what are you doing... here?
200
00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:10,340
oh, no. Are you crazy?
201
00:12:10,350 --> 00:12:12,870
Crazy about you, baby.
202
00:12:13,260 --> 00:12:18,270
But I have so much to do, and I'm
not gonna be done till 2:00 A.M.
203
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:22,070
- Possibly 3:00.
- Come on.
204
00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:24,110
This is important.
Remember what the book said?
205
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,110
Every night, no matter what.
206
00:12:27,150 --> 00:12:31,200
no, this is a really bad time for me.
207
00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:39,220
Well, you did buy me that deodorant.
208
00:12:43,940 --> 00:12:46,220
lynette, I have carlos on line two.
209
00:12:46,230 --> 00:12:49,170
Uh, tell him I'll call right back.
210
00:12:49,180 --> 00:12:51,830
He says it's really important.
211
00:12:53,090 --> 00:12:54,690
Hello?
212
00:12:54,710 --> 00:12:57,710
Hey, lynette. I'm over here at capital
consultants, and the guys have a question.
213
00:12:57,720 --> 00:12:59,550
I need you to pull up their account.
214
00:12:59,580 --> 00:13:02,070
Now? I'm kind of busy!
215
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:05,180
Well, the ad has to be at the
printer's by noon, so yeah, now.
216
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:18,530
lynette? Lynette!
217
00:13:19,650 --> 00:13:21,570
Yes?
218
00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:23,630
What's going on? You all right?
219
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:29,100
Sorry. Just had the handyman
in here, but he's finished.
220
00:13:29,110 --> 00:13:31,430
Thank you, handyman.
221
00:13:31,460 --> 00:13:33,570
you're welcome, ma'am.
222
00:13:34,050 --> 00:13:37,330
So... carlos...
223
00:13:37,340 --> 00:13:39,680
where were we?
224
00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:42,540
Could I get you something?
225
00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,640
No, thanks, I don't drink.
226
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:48,800
Oh, that's right. Glug
glug. I remember now.
227
00:13:48,810 --> 00:13:50,430
I'm bringing you business, karl.
228
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,310
Try not to insult me.
229
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:55,480
Sorry. So you want to divorce orson.
230
00:13:55,810 --> 00:13:58,790
Yes, I know that comes as a surprise.
231
00:13:58,820 --> 00:14:02,020
Not really. I've met
him. The guy's a stiff.
232
00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:07,290
Karl, if we move forward, I will insist
you handle our divorce with dignity.
233
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,150
are you sure?
234
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:13,700
I don't know of a dignified way to
screw a spouse out of money that they,
235
00:14:13,710 --> 00:14:15,910
by law, are entitled to.
236
00:14:15,930 --> 00:14:18,180
That is why you're hiring me, right?
237
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:20,870
I just want to protect
what is rightfully mine.
238
00:14:21,250 --> 00:14:23,340
Can you help me?
239
00:14:23,350 --> 00:14:26,600
- sure.
- Lovely. I'll make out a check.
240
00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:28,560
Yeah, not so fast.
241
00:14:28,590 --> 00:14:31,940
Uh, I said i could do
it, not that i would.
242
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,570
I need a favor.
243
00:14:34,580 --> 00:14:36,890
Well, what kind of a favor?
244
00:14:38,700 --> 00:14:42,290
M.J. Delfino is having a
sleepover at his house in two days.
245
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:45,170
My son wasn't invited.
Now his feelings are hurt.
246
00:14:45,430 --> 00:14:46,490
So?
247
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,960
So I want you to get my
son into that sleepover.
248
00:14:49,970 --> 00:14:51,890
How would I go about doing that?
249
00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:53,200
Gosh, I don't know.
250
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:56,590
How would I go about hiding
your assets from orson?
251
00:14:57,110 --> 00:14:58,170
I need your help, karl.
252
00:14:58,180 --> 00:15:02,080
I really do, but I am not
comfortable manipulating a 6-year-old.
253
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:08,100
You know, I had this one client...
254
00:15:08,110 --> 00:15:10,440
his wife had been with
him since junior high.
255
00:15:10,470 --> 00:15:15,380
She supported him through med school, gave
him three kids and the best years of her life.
256
00:15:15,410 --> 00:15:18,990
Once I had done my particular
brand of legal magic,
257
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:23,580
he ended up with 90% of the money, and
she ended up in a studio apartment...
258
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,850
with a roommate.
259
00:15:32,530 --> 00:15:38,770
Then again... M.J.
Does... love my macaroons.
260
00:15:40,990 --> 00:15:43,190
sweetie, don't listen to
those kids. They're idiots.
261
00:15:43,200 --> 00:15:44,900
You are a gorgeous little girl.
262
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,560
You have to say that. You're my dad.
263
00:15:46,570 --> 00:15:48,810
No, it's the truth. You
are naturally beautiful.
264
00:15:48,820 --> 00:15:50,260
Makeup just covers that up.
265
00:15:50,280 --> 00:15:53,270
He's right, sweetie. You don't
need all that gunk on your face.
266
00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:54,570
Then why do you wear it?
267
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,370
Because I'm an adult.
268
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,840
And besides, I hardly wear any.
269
00:15:59,340 --> 00:16:02,160
Come on, gaby. Let's
try to keep this real.
270
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:05,770
Are you gonna wear makeup
when daddy gets his big award?
271
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,430
Well, it's a big,
fancy dinner. Of course.
272
00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:09,710
But that's not fair.
273
00:16:09,740 --> 00:16:10,950
Sweetie, you're 6.
274
00:16:10,980 --> 00:16:13,370
There's a lot of things
I can do that you don'T.
275
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,610
So you get to look pretty at daddy's
party, and i have to look like this?
276
00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:19,560
Hey, I have a great idea.
277
00:16:19,590 --> 00:16:21,910
Okay, see? Your daddy's
got a great idea.
278
00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:24,920
How about if neither one of
you wears makeup to the dinner?
279
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,900
Okay.
280
00:16:27,940 --> 00:16:31,320
no, no, no. Your
daddy's just being silly.
281
00:16:32,190 --> 00:16:35,350
Can I talk to you for
a second, silly daddy?
282
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,610
are you a lunatic?
283
00:16:38,630 --> 00:16:41,540
I am not walking into a ballroom
full of people without my face on.
284
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:45,260
Come on. This is the perfect opportunity
to teach her that beauty's only skin deep.
285
00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:49,460
Yeah, well, once you see this skin without
foundation, you may want to rethink that.
286
00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:51,890
Gaby, your daughter is in pain.
287
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:54,390
And don't you love her enough to
put your vanity aside for one night?
288
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:57,390
I was in labor for 20 hours.
She still owes me for that!
289
00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:02,450
fine.
290
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:07,440
I will make the ultimate sacrifice,
and I will be ugly for my daughter.
291
00:17:07,980 --> 00:17:10,820
But if she ever needs a kidney...
292
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:19,810
You're really going all
out on this sleepover.
293
00:17:19,820 --> 00:17:23,330
although I'm not sure that tons of sugar
and whistles are a good combination.
294
00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,210
Oh, good point.
295
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,760
I'll make us some goody bags
filled with earplugs and vodka.
296
00:17:28,780 --> 00:17:31,070
It's great. I'm sure
M.J.Will appreciate it.
297
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,930
I'm sure he will.
298
00:17:32,940 --> 00:17:36,750
He's a great K... and funny.
299
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:41,990
that was hilarious the other day, when
he asked us when we're getting married.
300
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,610
I'm glad you thought it was funny.
I was tap-dancing my ass off.
301
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:48,180
No, you were great.
302
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:51,970
Although... someday you'll probably
have to answer the question.
303
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:55,140
I'm sure he's forgotten
by now. You know kids.
304
00:17:55,150 --> 00:17:57,160
Kids are like that.
305
00:17:57,170 --> 00:17:59,930
Grown-ups on the other hand...
306
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,370
not so much.
307
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,110
We're not talking about
M.J. Ymore, are we?
308
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,100
Oh, you want to go run
and get your tap shoes?
309
00:18:10,110 --> 00:18:12,540
No. No. I'll be completely honest here.
310
00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,240
Moving in with you is one of
the best decisions I ever made.
311
00:18:16,580 --> 00:18:19,480
you make me really, really happy.
312
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,820
But?
313
00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:27,690
I've been married before, and I just
don't see myself getting married again.
314
00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,600
Okay.
315
00:18:35,700 --> 00:18:37,290
Probably not what you wanted to hear.
316
00:18:37,310 --> 00:18:38,740
I wanted the truth.
317
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,210
It's not your fault the truth sucks.
318
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:47,060
So could you get the
streamers out of the car?
319
00:18:47,620 --> 00:18:49,880
Sure.
320
00:18:50,590 --> 00:18:55,930
Oh, by the way, for what
it's worth, I do love you.
321
00:19:07,010 --> 00:19:10,340
I've only been working there
two months, but I love it.
322
00:19:10,370 --> 00:19:11,750
And the kids are so cute.
323
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,000
And I get to see M.J. During
the day, which is nice.
324
00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:24,110
Uh, you kn, uh, for a guy that
just had to see me so bad, you...
325
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:27,710
you seem awfully far away.
326
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,410
I'm sorry.
327
00:19:30,440 --> 00:19:32,950
I'm just a little nervous.
328
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,730
I have something...
329
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:40,450
to ask you, and I don't
know how you're gonna react.
330
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,430
What is it?
331
00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:49,330
This is gonna come
out of nowhere, but...
332
00:19:54,850 --> 00:19:57,660
I want you to marry me.
333
00:19:58,160 --> 00:20:00,430
A-and here's how I came to this.
334
00:20:00,470 --> 00:20:02,400
The other day...
335
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,110
what are you doing?
336
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,250
I have to go upstairs.
337
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,800
Now?
338
00:20:15,900 --> 00:20:17,740
susan, are you okay?
339
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,050
I'm fine.
340
00:20:19,070 --> 00:20:21,670
I just didn't want you to see me crying.
341
00:20:22,420 --> 00:20:24,050
Honey, you didn't let me finish.
342
00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:25,750
Oh, I'm sorry.
343
00:20:25,780 --> 00:20:30,440
Just, um, all I've been telling myself
344
00:20:30,470 --> 00:20:32,810
that I didn't really care about you,
345
00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:36,130
which was easy to do
because you left so suddenly.
346
00:20:37,010 --> 00:20:40,050
But I am so lonely.
347
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,750
And as much as I tell myself that
348
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:47,690
i like being the strong,
single woman on her own,
349
00:20:48,490 --> 00:20:53,620
the truth is, I think
about you all the time.
350
00:20:53,980 --> 00:20:59,220
And I wanted to call you, but
I thought you'd gotten over me.
351
00:21:00,130 --> 00:21:03,920
And to hear that you still love me...
352
00:21:04,950 --> 00:21:09,600
that is just something that I
really needed to hear right now.
353
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,690
And I want you
to know-- oh, god.
354
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,860
I want you to know I
love you, too. Jackson...
355
00:21:16,870 --> 00:21:19,810
I love you.
1
00:21:31,030 --> 00:21:32,830
jackson?
2
00:21:33,190 --> 00:21:35,090
Oh,god.
3
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:39,050
I really wish you'd let me finish.
4
00:21:39,380 --> 00:21:41,330
Finish what?
5
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:47,870
Susan,I need you to marry me so that
immigration doesn't deport me back to canada.
6
00:21:50,340 --> 00:21:57,080
The one thing I didn't tell you is that I'm
here on a student visa that expired six y
7
00:21:57,100 --> 00:22:01,160
and I got a call from the authorities,so
unless I can find somebody that will marry me,
8
00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:03,760
I'm gonna be in really big trouble.
9
00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,640
Susan?
10
00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:10,850
Susan,did you hear me?
11
00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,190
I heard.
12
00:22:16,340 --> 00:22:20,240
So... what do you say?
13
00:22:22,470 --> 00:22:25,250
Okay. Okay,it was a bad idea.
14
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,840
Get out or I will kick your
ass back to the canadian border!
15
00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:36,820
took a shower,brushed my teeth.
16
00:22:36,830 --> 00:22:40,200
We are good to go.
17
00:22:43,330 --> 00:22:45,230
Lynette.
18
00:22:48,570 --> 00:22:50,250
What are you doing?
19
00:22:50,260 --> 00:22:52,370
You know,the pact.
20
00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:55,240
Didn't we already do it tonight?
21
00:22:55,910 --> 00:22:56,980
no.
22
00:22:56,990 --> 00:23:00,190
Oh,they're all starting to blur.
23
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,490
look,I worked till 3:00
A.M.Last night. I'm exhausted.
24
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,310
How about we take a rain check?
25
00:23:06,650 --> 00:23:10,030
A rain check? This isn't baseball.
26
00:23:10,070 --> 00:23:12,730
Every night for 30
days-- that's the law.
27
00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:17,700
Tom,I have a 7:00 A.M.Meeting.
28
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:22,640
How about I take a long lunch,and
you do me twice at work tomorrow?
29
00:23:22,650 --> 00:23:24,060
Come on.
30
00:23:24,070 --> 00:23:26,140
This is important.
31
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:28,250
Okay.
32
00:23:28,430 --> 00:23:31,930
Okay. We'll have sex.
33
00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,140
But can you make it quick?
34
00:23:34,150 --> 00:23:35,870
Lynette,please.
35
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,750
You can't rush an artist.
36
00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:54,200
Morning.
37
00:23:54,210 --> 00:23:56,640
Oh,sorry. I don't have
time for breakfast.
38
00:23:56,650 --> 00:23:58,730
good. I didn't make you any.
39
00:23:58,740 --> 00:24:01,540
Oh,okay. Uh,coffee will be fine.
40
00:24:01,550 --> 00:24:04,480
Beans are right there.
Grab a handful and grind.
41
00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:07,280
Is there a problem?
42
00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:10,420
You don't remember?
43
00:24:10,510 --> 00:24:13,630
Last night,we were having sex?
44
00:24:13,660 --> 00:24:16,020
You fell asleep?
45
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:18,310
After?
46
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,290
During.
47
00:24:22,070 --> 00:24:23,820
Was it good?
48
00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,140
I didn't finish.
49
00:24:27,170 --> 00:24:29,680
God,you ruined our streak,lynette.
50
00:24:29,710 --> 00:24:32,560
I'm sorry. I was exhausted.
51
00:24:32,590 --> 00:24:34,730
It's not like I was asking
you to scrub a floor.
52
00:24:34,740 --> 00:24:39,360
All you had to do was lie
there,like you usually do.
53
00:24:39,370 --> 00:24:43,170
Oh,okay. I'm gonna let that
one go,'cause you're upset.
54
00:24:43,740 --> 00:24:48,180
Well,it's true. With you being so tired from work
lately,I'm the one doing all the heavy lifting.
55
00:24:48,190 --> 00:24:51,960
Tom,you're being completely irrational.
We've had sex 23 days straight.
56
00:24:51,970 --> 00:24:54,190
I've seen more ceilingthan michelangelo.
57
00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,300
We made a commitment,lynette.
The book says--
58
00:24:56,310 --> 00:24:57,650
oh,would you stop with the book?
59
00:24:57,660 --> 00:25:01,440
You bought it at a car wash along
with a pack of gumand an air freshener.
60
00:25:01,450 --> 00:25:02,780
You're right. It's stupid.
61
00:25:02,790 --> 00:25:06,340
All my ideas are stupid. I
should just stick to doing chores.
62
00:25:06,350 --> 00:25:07,980
Don't just walk away.
63
00:25:07,990 --> 00:25:09,270
You better get to work,lynette.
64
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,060
You're gonna be late.
65
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,960
Haven't seen you boys in a while.
66
00:25:18,970 --> 00:25:21,610
There's been a break in the
club fire case,mr. Williams.
67
00:25:21,620 --> 00:25:23,050
You got a minute?
68
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,610
do you know this guy?
69
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:28,310
No. Who is he?
70
00:25:28,350 --> 00:25:30,890
Dr. Samuel heller,psychiatrist
from boston.
71
00:25:30,900 --> 00:25:33,370
He's the guy who burned up in the fire.
72
00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:36,130
What's a shrink from
boston doing in fairview?
73
00:25:36,140 --> 00:25:41,130
No idea,but we'd like to find out if
anyone knows him or what he was doing there.
74
00:25:41,660 --> 00:25:43,720
Did you see him backstage?
75
00:25:43,730 --> 00:25:45,500
No,I didn't see anybody.
76
00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,480
Except porter scavo.
77
00:25:50,490 --> 00:25:53,850
Yeah,but I told you. That was a mistake.
78
00:25:56,540 --> 00:26:01,320
- Do you know a guy named jackson braddock?
- Was he?
79
00:26:01,330 --> 00:26:05,290
Yeah,he got locked in the employee
men's room right before the fire started.
80
00:26:05,300 --> 00:26:07,080
Well,I don't know anything about that.
81
00:26:07,090 --> 00:26:08,620
Have you talked to him?
82
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:12,660
We've been trying,but he left
town,and we've been unable to find him.
83
00:26:12,670 --> 00:26:13,910
That's a shame.
84
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:14,910
We'll figure it out.
85
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:15,770
Thanks for your time.
86
00:26:15,780 --> 00:26:17,070
You bet.
87
00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:30,470
hey,susan. It's dave.
88
00:26:30,860 --> 00:26:35,090
You know,I was thinking I'd pick up you and
M.J.Around 6:00 A.M. Saturday for the trip.
89
00:26:35,450 --> 00:26:39,770
Yeah. I figured the earlier
we get going,the better.
90
00:26:39,780 --> 00:26:41,130
Okay.
91
00:26:44,570 --> 00:26:46,610
well,hello there,M.J.
92
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:50,660
I was baking this morning,and like
an idiot,I made too many macaroons.
93
00:26:50,670 --> 00:26:52,130
Would you be willing to take one?
94
00:26:52,140 --> 00:26:54,390
I would hate to see them go to waste.
95
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,030
Macaroons are my favorite.
96
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:59,550
Oh,really? What a
delightful coincidence.
97
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:01,940
You know,I could bake
these for you every week,
98
00:27:01,950 --> 00:27:06,100
and all I'd need in return
is just the tiniest of favors.
99
00:27:06,150 --> 00:27:07,500
What kind of favor?
100
00:27:07,510 --> 00:27:10,000
Invite evan mayer to your sleepover.
101
00:27:10,010 --> 00:27:11,650
I don't like evan.
102
00:27:11,660 --> 00:27:12,570
He's mean.
103
00:27:12,580 --> 00:27:19,230
Oh,no. Deep down,he's just a fragile
little boy who wants to be liked.
104
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,150
He hit me with a dead squirrel.
105
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:26,140
Now,M.J.,We can find faults with
all our friends if we nitpick.
106
00:27:26,150 --> 00:27:27,160
What do you say?
107
00:27:27,170 --> 00:27:29,040
Will you invite him?
108
00:27:30,950 --> 00:27:32,770
Would you like some ice
cream with your macaroons?
109
00:27:32,780 --> 00:27:35,090
Because I could make that happen.
110
00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:36,680
Bree?
111
00:27:37,230 --> 00:27:39,680
I'm late for my golf game.
112
00:27:39,690 --> 00:27:45,030
I don't have time to go to the A.T.M.,So
I took the cash out of your wallet.
113
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,310
Bye.
114
00:27:56,970 --> 00:28:06,680
M.J.,There's someone in my life who hits
me with a dead squirrel every single day.
115
00:28:06,690 --> 00:28:09,980
And you are the only
one who can help me.
116
00:28:09,990 --> 00:28:14,180
Please,please invite evan to your party.
117
00:28:16,770 --> 00:28:18,410
Okay.
118
00:28:19,270 --> 00:28:21,180
thank you.
119
00:28:21,190 --> 00:28:23,520
Oh,thank you,sweetheart.
120
00:28:27,020 --> 00:28:31,070
Boy,the stuff I do for macaroons.
121
00:28:40,580 --> 00:28:43,450
go away! I-I don't want to talk to you.
122
00:28:43,750 --> 00:28:44,930
Come on. Let me in.
123
00:28:44,940 --> 00:28:49,730
Thanks,but I've reached my maximum
allowance for humiliation this week.
124
00:28:49,740 --> 00:28:53,270
Listen,I'm sorry you thought
it was a real proposal.
125
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,370
I thought you knew I'd moved on.
126
00:28:56,380 --> 00:28:58,640
Maximum allowance exceeded.
127
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:03,380
What do you want?
128
00:29:03,390 --> 00:29:05,280
I wanted to apologize.
129
00:29:05,290 --> 00:29:07,020
You have every righto be mad at mE.
130
00:29:07,030 --> 00:29:09,040
Oh,I'm not mad at you.
131
00:29:09,700 --> 00:29:12,880
You know,I'm just
disappointed in myself.
132
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:18,890
I was a little lonely
and a little afraid and...
133
00:29:18,900 --> 00:29:26,240
I just did what I always do-- let
some silly romantic fantasy take over.
134
00:29:27,880 --> 00:29:31,140
I didn't know you ill
felt that way about me.
135
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,930
I don'T.
136
00:29:33,940 --> 00:29:36,380
This isn't about you.
137
00:29:36,390 --> 00:29:38,160
Not really.
138
00:29:39,250 --> 00:29:41,940
And besides,you moved on.
139
00:29:43,830 --> 00:29:45,680
Well,I had to.
140
00:29:45,710 --> 00:29:48,280
You pushed me away.
141
00:29:48,340 --> 00:29:52,420
I had to... heal my
heart and get over it.
142
00:29:57,980 --> 00:30:04,100
This--I mean,this is really the only thing
you can do to stay here and do your work?
143
00:30:04,110 --> 00:30:05,880
Yeah.
144
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,800
I'll help you.
145
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:19,450
Really?
146
00:30:19,470 --> 00:30:20,730
Yeah.
147
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,820
I'll do it. But that's it.
148
00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:29,790
No love,no sex,just... marriage.
149
00:30:30,130 --> 00:30:32,190
No sex?
150
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:37,020
You want people to think this
is a real marriage,don't you?
151
00:30:45,220 --> 00:30:46,970
gaby,come on.
152
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:52,090
For god sakes,will you take those off?
153
00:30:52,100 --> 00:30:54,000
It's 8:00 at night.
154
00:30:54,010 --> 00:30:55,410
Oh,fine.
155
00:30:55,420 --> 00:30:59,770
As long as you don't mind people thinking you're
out on the town with your anemic lesbian sister.
156
00:30:59,780 --> 00:31:03,340
There's our man of honor.
157
00:31:03,350 --> 00:31:06,440
gaby,this is stephanie. She
put this whole banquet together.
158
00:31:06,450 --> 00:31:07,800
Nice to meet you.
159
00:31:07,810 --> 00:31:10,090
You're probably wondering
why I look like this.
160
00:31:10,100 --> 00:31:11,320
Excuse me?
161
00:31:11,330 --> 00:31:12,070
I'm not ill.
162
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:16,030
I'm just not wearing any makeup so I can teach
my daughter that beauty's what's on the inside.
163
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,710
I don't actually look this hideous.
164
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,020
Okay.
165
00:31:25,580 --> 00:31:27,650
Will you please stop
explaining yourself?
166
00:31:27,660 --> 00:31:29,400
I mean,it was bad enough when
you did it with the valet.
167
00:31:29,410 --> 00:31:30,610
I can't help it.
168
00:31:30,620 --> 00:31:33,400
I don't want people
thinking I condone this face.
169
00:31:33,950 --> 00:31:36,410
I'm gonna go find our table.
170
00:31:40,150 --> 00:31:41,050
Champagne?
171
00:31:41,060 --> 00:31:42,890
Oh,thank you.
172
00:31:42,900 --> 00:31:44,890
I'm not ill. I'm just
not wearing any makeup.
173
00:31:44,900 --> 00:31:46,060
gaby!
174
00:31:46,740 --> 00:31:48,620
Gotta go.
175
00:31:53,420 --> 00:31:55,580
come on,guys. No running in the house.
176
00:31:55,590 --> 00:31:57,480
These candy apples are great.
177
00:31:57,490 --> 00:31:59,140
Can me and evan have another one?
178
00:31:59,150 --> 00:32:00,940
Well,I better ask katherine.
179
00:32:00,950 --> 00:32:02,970
Where is katherine?
180
00:32:07,620 --> 00:32:09,310
You're missing all the fun.
181
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,650
I just got a candied
apple out of a kid's hair.
182
00:32:12,660 --> 00:32:16,200
Sounds like you got
everything under control.
183
00:32:16,210 --> 00:32:17,710
No,come on down.
184
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:19,930
It's not as much fun without you.
185
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,300
Okay.
186
00:32:23,430 --> 00:32:26,610
You were honest with me,so
I'm gonna be honest with you.
187
00:32:27,950 --> 00:32:29,750
I got scared.
188
00:32:32,350 --> 00:32:34,130
Of what?
189
00:32:34,820 --> 00:32:41,120
I was hosting a party with this
amazing man and his adorable son,
190
00:32:41,130 --> 00:32:45,460
and we were like the perfect
family,anthen I realized...
191
00:32:45,470 --> 00:32:47,960
we're not a family.
192
00:32:47,970 --> 00:32:50,680
It could all go away in an instant.
193
00:32:51,850 --> 00:32:54,560
Katherine,I'm not leaving.
194
00:32:54,760 --> 00:32:57,480
But you're not committing either.
195
00:32:58,870 --> 00:33:00,870
Why not,mike?
196
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,680
Is it susan?
197
00:33:02,690 --> 00:33:04,680
You still in love with her?
198
00:33:06,200 --> 00:33:09,670
No. No,I've told you that.
199
00:33:09,970 --> 00:33:12,380
Then it must be me.
200
00:33:12,980 --> 00:33:17,050
Katherine,I love ving you in my life.
201
00:33:17,380 --> 00:33:19,900
I'm just not ready.
202
00:33:20,050 --> 00:33:22,400
I don't know what else to say.
203
00:33:23,130 --> 00:33:26,340
I'm not trying to get
you to say anything.
204
00:33:27,010 --> 00:33:30,140
I just have to take care of myself.
205
00:33:35,780 --> 00:33:40,550
I should probably go make sure
the first floor is still there.
206
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:51,140
Excuse me. The mayor's about to leave,and the
newspaper wants a photo with him and your family.
207
00:33:51,150 --> 00:33:53,110
Oh,that's so sweet.
208
00:33:53,120 --> 00:33:54,800
tell him no way in hell.
209
00:33:54,810 --> 00:33:56,890
Tell him we'll be right there.
210
00:33:58,260 --> 00:33:59,820
The newspaper? Forget it.
211
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:02,860
Gaby,I do business with the city.
I can't just blow off the mayoR.
212
00:34:02,870 --> 00:34:05,340
Seriously,we cannot allow
this to be photographed.
213
00:34:05,350 --> 00:34:09,060
Next time there's an epidemic,people
are gonna think I'm patient zero.
214
00:34:11,160 --> 00:34:13,260
You're not getting out of this.
215
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:16,150
Fine.
216
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,000
But just so we're clear,you're
also latino jerk of the year.
217
00:34:19,010 --> 00:34:19,910
Come on. Let's go.
218
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,950
Oh,can I at least use
the bathroom first?
219
00:34:27,820 --> 00:34:29,780
ladies! Attention,please.
220
00:34:29,790 --> 00:34:32,790
I am in a jam,and I need
lipstick and eyeliner.
221
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,760
Come on. Chop chop.
222
00:34:37,670 --> 00:34:39,570
You can use my makeup.
223
00:34:40,730 --> 00:34:43,460
Oh,that doesn't really
go with my skin tone.
224
00:34:43,470 --> 00:34:45,800
What do yomean? We
have the same coloring.
225
00:34:45,810 --> 00:34:47,840
Yeah,it doesn't really go
with your skin tone either,
226
00:34:47,850 --> 00:34:50,480
but I can only deal with
one disaster at a time.
227
00:34:52,020 --> 00:34:53,940
Asian girl. Close enough.
228
00:34:54,070 --> 00:34:55,950
Um,I don't think so.
229
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:57,720
Was it the "chop chop" thing?
230
00:34:57,730 --> 00:34:59,410
Fine. I'm sorry.
231
00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:00,990
Now can I borrow some blush?
232
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,670
I don't share cosmetics.
233
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:04,110
I'm sort of a germ freak.
234
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:06,190
Oh,don't worry. I'm
as healthy as a horse.
235
00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:08,770
Really? You look sick.
236
00:35:08,780 --> 00:35:11,140
That's 'cause I don't have any makeup!
237
00:35:11,150 --> 00:35:12,860
I said no. Now leave me alone.
238
00:35:12,870 --> 00:35:15,270
Okay,okay,look. I'm sorry.
239
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,990
You're right. I never should have asked.
240
00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,850
Come out now,or I'll call security!
241
00:35:24,860 --> 00:35:29,640
You know,for a woman who has a purse full of
dinner rolls,you sure have a lot of attitude.
242
00:35:34,230 --> 00:35:35,990
Oh,good. We're all here.
243
00:35:36,150 --> 00:35:39,080
By the way,mrs. Solis,you
look absolutely stunning.
244
00:35:39,090 --> 00:35:40,820
Thank you.
245
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:44,450
Yeah,mom. You look great.
246
00:35:45,950 --> 00:35:48,930
Okay,big smiles,everyone.
247
00:35:56,220 --> 00:35:59,240
see this? My third espresso.
248
00:35:59,580 --> 00:36:02,950
I'm wired. No way I'm
falling asleep tonight.
249
00:36:09,740 --> 00:36:15,400
How about we throw a pizza on the front
lawn,and when the kids run out to get it,
250
00:36:15,410 --> 00:36:19,580
we lock the door and do it
in every room in the house?
251
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,840
Tom,I'm sorry.
252
00:36:27,850 --> 00:36:29,710
I don't know what else to say.
253
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:33,220
If you wanna stay mad,I
guess you're gonna stay mad.
254
00:36:35,810 --> 00:36:37,920
I am not mad,lynette.
255
00:36:37,930 --> 00:36:39,750
Then what's wrong?
256
00:36:39,760 --> 00:36:42,180
You're gonna think it's stupid.
257
00:36:42,190 --> 00:36:43,690
Tell me.
258
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,660
You want to know why sex has
become so important to me lately?
259
00:36:49,670 --> 00:36:56,050
Because you are the only thing in
my life that I'm passionate about.
260
00:36:56,420 --> 00:36:58,730
That is so sweet.
261
00:36:58,740 --> 00:37:02,070
No. No,it's not good,lynette--
not for me,not for you.
262
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:07,560
I... I need something
else to be excited about.
263
00:37:07,570 --> 00:37:10,570
I thought you wanted to do
this,to take a break and stay home.
264
00:37:10,580 --> 00:37:11,840
I did.
265
00:37:11,850 --> 00:37:15,350
You know,I figured,the kids are grown...
266
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:19,790
I can take care of the house and the
errands,and it'll be easy,and it is.
267
00:37:19,800 --> 00:37:21,550
It's too damn easy.
268
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:29,180
I am finished with my work by noon,and then I
just sit around,waiting for you to come home.
269
00:37:29,190 --> 00:37:32,640
So... what do you want to do?
270
00:37:33,110 --> 00:37:37,130
What are you passionate about?
271
00:37:37,770 --> 00:37:39,750
I don't know.
272
00:37:41,410 --> 00:37:47,380
I'm a middle-aged guy,and I don't
know what I want to do with my life.
273
00:37:51,180 --> 00:37:53,730
I told you it was stupid.
274
00:37:54,270 --> 00:37:55,770
No.
275
00:37:57,260 --> 00:37:59,260
No.
276
00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,390
I know I disappointed you
tonight,and I'm really sorry.
277
00:38:19,410 --> 00:38:20,590
It's okay.
278
00:38:20,620 --> 00:38:22,480
I know why you did it.
279
00:38:22,530 --> 00:38:24,870
I need makeup,too.
280
00:38:25,890 --> 00:38:31,960
Honey,I know you think being pretty seems like
the most important thing in the world right now,
281
00:38:31,970 --> 00:38:33,790
but believe me,it's not.
282
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:35,990
You were a model.
283
00:38:37,810 --> 00:38:40,280
yes,I was.
284
00:38:41,580 --> 00:38:46,390
And my whole life,people
told me how pretty I was.
285
00:38:46,420 --> 00:38:46,950
So you know what?
286
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:53,690
I never thought I had to work hard in school
or work on friendships or my personality--
287
00:38:53,720 --> 00:38:55,670
none of it.
288
00:38:55,720 --> 00:39:00,890
And then I stopped modeling,and I
realized I didn't have much on the inside.
289
00:39:01,620 --> 00:39:04,590
And I don't want that for you.
290
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:11,140
I want you to be brave
and funny and creative...
291
00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:14,260
to be more than just a shell.
292
00:39:14,930 --> 00:39:18,920
I want you to have the
whole rich,gooey center.
293
00:39:21,580 --> 00:39:25,080
Will you promise to
do that for yourself?
294
00:39:25,660 --> 00:39:28,110
Okay.
295
00:39:33,020 --> 00:39:36,550
when do I get to wear makeup?
296
00:39:38,940 --> 00:39:40,290
I tell you what.
297
00:39:40,300 --> 00:39:44,500
You can wear makeup the day you
realize you don't really need it.
298
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:54,020
I bought M.J.A fishing pole.
299
00:39:54,030 --> 00:39:56,860
I figure I'd teach the little guy
how to cast before we hit the water.
300
00:39:56,870 --> 00:40:00,670
Oh,my god. We're not gonna be
able to make it this weekend.
301
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,850
I'm kind oF... getting married.
302
00:40:04,860 --> 00:40:05,940
What?
303
00:40:07,450 --> 00:40:08,490
to who?
304
00:40:08,500 --> 00:40:10,990
dave williams.
305
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,810
I thought I heard you out here.
306
00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:14,240
Jackson.
307
00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:17,880
just when you thought I was
out of the picture,I'm back.
308
00:40:22,930 --> 00:40:26,640
since you held up your end othe
bargain,I'm going to hold up mine.
309
00:40:26,650 --> 00:40:32,070
I'm gonna make sure that you walk away from this
marriage with your business and your assets intact.
310
00:40:32,080 --> 00:40:36,430
Now to accomplish this,I may
need you to lie,stonewall,
311
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:39,580
even resort to some outright trickery.
312
00:40:39,590 --> 00:40:43,910
My question is... will
you be up for that?
313
00:40:46,950 --> 00:40:50,220
I used to think of
myself as a good person.
314
00:40:50,230 --> 00:40:55,410
If I had a choice,I would
always choose the high road.
315
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:01,760
Lately I've begun to realize that,um...
316
00:41:01,770 --> 00:41:05,920
I'm capable of doing
whatever needs to be done.
317
00:41:05,930 --> 00:41:08,630
You know what that makes you?
318
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,510
The perfect client.
319
00:41:18,370 --> 00:41:23,560
on this street,the bargaining
is finished by sundown...
320
00:41:25,180 --> 00:41:32,430
a daughter agrees to go to bed early if her
mother lets her dress up in her old gowns...
321
00:41:33,350 --> 00:41:40,530
a woman agrees to let her fianc? spend the
night if he'll agree to sleep on the sofa...
322
00:41:41,350 --> 00:41:49,120
a man allows his lover to get close as
long as they don't discuss the future.
323
00:41:50,500 --> 00:41:56,620
Yes,everyone knows how to
bargain on wisteria lane...
324
00:41:58,350 --> 00:42:00,670
***late
325
00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,800
***
326
00:42:04,940 --> 00:42:07,260
****morning
327
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,100
***tonight
328
00:42:11,590 --> 00:42:13,610
***
329
00:42:16,110 --> 00:42:22,130
****for
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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