1 00:00:00,783 --> 00:00:01,783 Previously on... 2 00:00:03,784 --> 00:00:04,384 Dave! 3 00:00:04,417 --> 00:00:05,417 Is that the bathroom? 4 00:00:05,418 --> 00:00:07,357 No. I think that's it there. 5 00:00:07,391 --> 00:00:09,007 Oh, okay. Thanks. 6 00:00:09,098 --> 00:00:13,279 Dave tried to eliminate a witness to murder. 7 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:14,316 Hey! Uhh! 8 00:00:14,350 --> 00:00:16,858 But Jackson survived... 9 00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:17,985 I bought M.J. a fishing pole. 10 00:00:17,986 --> 00:00:19,869 We're not gonna be able to make it this weekend. 11 00:00:19,903 --> 00:00:21,944 I'm kind of getting married. - What? 12 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:24,285 I thought I heard you out here. - Jackson. 13 00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:26,427 Forcing him to change his plans. 14 00:00:26,461 --> 00:00:28,434 I'm a middle-aged guy... 15 00:00:28,468 --> 00:00:29,510 Tom was searching. 16 00:00:29,511 --> 00:00:31,512 And I don't know what I wanna do with my life. 17 00:00:31,546 --> 00:00:33,920 We're rich again! Hallelujah! 18 00:00:33,954 --> 00:00:35,995 Gaby's life returned to normal. 19 00:00:36,029 --> 00:00:38,771 We're gonna be us again-- the old Carlos and Gaby. 20 00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,079 I'm gonna make sure that you walk away from this marriage 21 00:00:41,114 --> 00:00:43,622 With your assets intact. Now to accomplish this... 22 00:00:43,657 --> 00:00:46,432 And Bree agreed to protect what she felt was hers. 23 00:00:46,466 --> 00:00:49,443 I'm capable of doing whatever needs to be done. 24 00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:02,758 The lawyer arrived just after sundown. 25 00:01:04,366 --> 00:01:07,944 He checked to make sure no one was watching, 26 00:01:07,978 --> 00:01:11,423 then he hurried to the front door... 27 00:01:11,457 --> 00:01:14,568 where his client was waiting. 28 00:01:16,275 --> 00:01:20,389 As she poured him the scotch he requested, 29 00:01:20,424 --> 00:01:22,396 the client began to wonder 30 00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:25,274 exactly how he planned to hide her assets 31 00:01:25,308 --> 00:01:28,318 from the husband she was divorcing. 32 00:01:29,683 --> 00:01:33,203 The lawyer suggested some creative accounting. 33 00:01:33,237 --> 00:01:35,879 His client agreed. 34 00:01:35,913 --> 00:01:40,329 He suggest a secret bank account. 35 00:01:40,363 --> 00:01:42,369 She agreed. 36 00:01:43,495 --> 00:01:45,782 He suggested a second set of books. 37 00:01:45,816 --> 00:01:48,793 She agreed. 38 00:01:48,827 --> 00:01:55,116 And then the lawyer looked deep into his client's eyes 39 00:01:55,150 --> 00:01:58,595 and made one final suggestion... 40 00:01:58,629 --> 00:02:02,743 that she was completely unprepared for. 41 00:02:02,778 --> 00:02:05,219 You want me to rob my own house?! 42 00:02:05,253 --> 00:02:08,240 Not exactly. I was thinking we'd hire my friend Tony to do it. 43 00:02:08,241 --> 00:02:08,999 Absolutely not. 44 00:02:09,033 --> 00:02:11,475 I am all up for a little creative accounting 45 00:02:11,510 --> 00:02:13,482 and some secret bank accounts, 46 00:02:13,517 --> 00:02:15,757 but hiring some thug to stage a break-in? 47 00:02:15,791 --> 00:02:17,731 It's a community property state, babe. 48 00:02:17,765 --> 00:02:19,772 Orson's going to get half of everything, 49 00:02:19,806 --> 00:02:22,314 including your jewelry, your artwork, your antiques. 50 00:02:22,348 --> 00:02:24,489 Wouldn't it be easier to just have him killed? 51 00:02:24,523 --> 00:02:26,496 As your lawyer, I can't condone that. 52 00:02:26,531 --> 00:02:29,307 That said, I have a cousin-- - I was kidding! 53 00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:32,083 So was I. Loosen up, freckles. 54 00:02:32,117 --> 00:02:34,057 Well, I just never know with you. 55 00:02:34,091 --> 00:02:36,065 And don't call me "freckles." 56 00:02:36,099 --> 00:02:38,038 Look, if you're not comfortable with Tony, 57 00:02:38,073 --> 00:02:40,045 why don't we do the job ourselves? 58 00:02:40,080 --> 00:02:42,220 I bet you'd look hot in a ski mask. 59 00:02:42,255 --> 00:02:45,699 You are repugnant, and this conversation is over. 60 00:02:45,734 --> 00:02:48,677 Fine, but since I'm charging you for the full hour, 61 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,973 let me make it worth your while. Sit down and close your eyes. 62 00:02:51,974 --> 00:02:52,491 What? No! 63 00:02:52,525 --> 00:02:55,870 Just humor me. Come on. 64 00:02:58,313 --> 00:03:01,590 Now I want you to picture Orson after the divorce. 65 00:03:01,625 --> 00:03:05,906 He owns half of your business, half of your assets. 66 00:03:05,941 --> 00:03:07,378 You see it? 67 00:03:07,412 --> 00:03:09,218 Go on. 68 00:03:09,252 --> 00:03:13,433 Now I want you to picture Orson dating some young bimbo. 69 00:03:13,468 --> 00:03:15,407 And don't kid yourself. 70 00:03:15,442 --> 00:03:17,816 He will get a bimbo. 71 00:03:17,851 --> 00:03:20,291 Now picture your favorite strand of pearls 72 00:03:20,326 --> 00:03:24,206 dangling in the 24-year-old cleavage of said bimbo 73 00:03:24,241 --> 00:03:25,979 while she is using 74 00:03:26,013 --> 00:03:28,540 your first edition Robert Frost as a coaster... 75 00:03:28,891 --> 00:03:32,102 And your 19th century french crystal vase 76 00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:33,607 as an ashtray. 77 00:03:33,642 --> 00:03:35,982 If you can live with that... 78 00:03:36,017 --> 00:03:39,930 I will leave. 79 00:03:39,964 --> 00:03:41,402 And with that, 80 00:03:41,436 --> 00:03:44,246 The client offered a suggestion of her own... 81 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:46,220 We should probably break a window 82 00:03:46,254 --> 00:03:48,260 to make it look more real. 83 00:03:50,068 --> 00:03:53,914 And the lawyer agreed. 84 00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:04,720 Masks-- 85 00:04:04,755 --> 00:04:08,568 you can find them in any home. 86 00:04:08,602 --> 00:04:13,051 Some are used once a year to scare the neighbors... 87 00:04:14,591 --> 00:04:18,738 Some are needed for the occasional chore. 88 00:04:18,772 --> 00:04:24,425 Some are applied every other Thursday. 89 00:04:24,460 --> 00:04:27,235 Then there's the kind of mask 90 00:04:27,269 --> 00:04:29,811 some men wear every day. 91 00:04:29,846 --> 00:04:32,789 It's a friendly smile 92 00:04:32,823 --> 00:04:37,171 designed to hide the most wicked of intentions. 93 00:04:37,205 --> 00:04:39,446 Hey, M.J., is your mom home? 94 00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,554 She's inside talking to Jackson. 95 00:04:43,662 --> 00:04:45,836 Really? 96 00:04:45,870 --> 00:04:49,984 So... what do you think of Jackson? 97 00:04:50,019 --> 00:04:53,665 I like him. He buys me comic books. 98 00:04:53,699 --> 00:04:56,408 Yeah, he's a good guy. 99 00:04:56,442 --> 00:04:58,415 He was very brave that night 100 00:04:58,449 --> 00:05:00,757 during that fire at the nightclub. 101 00:05:00,792 --> 00:05:03,266 Does he ever talk about that fire... 102 00:05:03,300 --> 00:05:06,042 or anybody he saw that night? 103 00:05:06,078 --> 00:05:09,723 Have the police stopped by to ask him any questions? 104 00:05:11,329 --> 00:05:14,741 If they do, would you let me know? 105 00:05:14,775 --> 00:05:16,113 Why? 106 00:05:16,147 --> 00:05:17,953 Well... 107 00:05:17,987 --> 00:05:21,265 I wanna make sure they're being nice to our friend Jackson, 108 00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:24,242 'cause he's such a good guy. 109 00:05:30,198 --> 00:05:34,479 It is such a stunning piece. 110 00:05:34,514 --> 00:05:38,126 It's simple and elegant. Don't you think? 111 00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:42,040 I mean, I know it was expensive, 112 00:05:42,075 --> 00:05:45,286 but you can't put a price tag on beauty. Am I right? 113 00:05:47,193 --> 00:05:49,669 So when daddy finds out how much I spent, 114 00:05:49,703 --> 00:05:53,013 would it be okay if I used you as a human shield? 115 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:58,467 You know, I should really get you tested. 116 00:06:00,676 --> 00:06:02,649 Mom? 117 00:06:02,683 --> 00:06:04,789 Hey! Did you have a fun playdate with Heather? 118 00:06:04,825 --> 00:06:07,299 She's got a canopy bed. I want one. 119 00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:10,611 We just bought you a bed. It's not even a year old. 120 00:06:10,645 --> 00:06:13,990 I don't like it anymore. I wanna sleep under a canopy. 121 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:18,406 Then go move in with Heather, 'cause I'm not getting you one. 122 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:20,480 Why not? We're rich. 123 00:06:20,515 --> 00:06:23,491 Who told you that? - I heard you telling Aunt Bree, 124 00:06:23,526 --> 00:06:26,702 since daddy got his new job, we're rolling in money. 125 00:06:26,737 --> 00:06:28,844 Well, mommy shouldn't have said that. 126 00:06:28,878 --> 00:06:32,055 Just, when Aunt Bree started bragging about her Prada bag, 127 00:06:32,090 --> 00:06:35,334 mommy kind of lost it. 128 00:06:35,368 --> 00:06:37,006 Whatever. 129 00:06:37,042 --> 00:06:40,219 I want a canopy, and you gotta get me one. 130 00:06:40,253 --> 00:06:42,694 I don't have to get you anything. 131 00:06:42,729 --> 00:06:44,702 And stop acting like a spoiled brat. 132 00:06:44,736 --> 00:06:47,713 I am not spending a fortune on a bed you don't need. 133 00:06:47,747 --> 00:06:50,991 Oh, but you can spend millions of dollars on a stupid vase? 134 00:06:51,025 --> 00:06:53,634 That vase is not stupid. 135 00:06:53,668 --> 00:06:55,608 Is that vase stupid? 136 00:06:57,716 --> 00:07:00,994 Okay, you know what? This conversation is over. 137 00:07:01,029 --> 00:07:03,503 Go to your room! 138 00:07:03,537 --> 00:07:05,243 You, too, bobblehead. 139 00:07:06,716 --> 00:07:09,558 Okay, my clothes are in the closet. 140 00:07:09,593 --> 00:07:12,336 I'm going to put my toothbrush in the bathroom. 141 00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,844 Oh, just leave the toilet seat up, 142 00:07:14,878 --> 00:07:18,257 and the immigration people will totally think we're married. 143 00:07:18,291 --> 00:07:21,268 Yeah, I don't know how I'm gonna thank you for doing this. 144 00:07:21,302 --> 00:07:25,216 Actually, I did think of one way you could repay me. 145 00:07:25,250 --> 00:07:27,189 Mmm. You got it. 146 00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:29,698 Uh, no. not like that. 147 00:07:29,733 --> 00:07:33,010 No, I was thinking that after our quickie courthouse ceremony, 148 00:07:33,045 --> 00:07:35,788 you could buy me a cake. 149 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:37,527 I love wedding cake. 150 00:07:37,561 --> 00:07:40,772 It's the one part of marriage that never lets you down. 151 00:07:40,807 --> 00:07:42,779 Well, I can do you better than that. 152 00:07:42,814 --> 00:07:45,589 How out I throw us a big engagement party? 153 00:07:45,624 --> 00:07:47,162 What? 154 00:07:47,197 --> 00:07:49,169 Well, we're not having a wedding, 155 00:07:49,204 --> 00:07:51,344 and we're gonna need pictures of something 156 00:07:51,379 --> 00:07:53,351 to put in our photo album as evidence. 157 00:07:53,386 --> 00:07:55,861 Okay. Yeah, I guess that could be fun. 158 00:07:55,895 --> 00:07:58,369 While our friends are toasting to our everlasting happiness, 159 00:07:58,404 --> 00:08:01,146 we can yell, "surprise! It's all a sham! 160 00:08:01,181 --> 00:08:03,154 Thanks for the crock-pot!" 161 00:08:03,188 --> 00:08:06,098 No, no, no. We can't tell anybody this is a fake. 162 00:08:06,132 --> 00:08:09,276 The whole thing could blow up. - Can't I at least tell the girls? 163 00:08:09,310 --> 00:08:12,287 No way. I mean, they don't call her "gabby" for nothing. 164 00:08:12,321 --> 00:08:14,728 Wow. 165 00:08:14,763 --> 00:08:18,074 Ah, fake marriages-- they're complicated. 166 00:08:18,108 --> 00:08:20,416 I-I-I know I'm asking a lot, Susan. 167 00:08:20,450 --> 00:08:23,929 No, no. It's okay. I wanna do this. 168 00:08:23,964 --> 00:08:26,338 Truth is... 169 00:08:26,372 --> 00:08:28,746 I miss you, 170 00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:31,757 and the house has been kinda lonely since you left. 171 00:08:31,791 --> 00:08:34,535 Well, I hear you loud and clear. 172 00:08:34,569 --> 00:08:36,843 Not that lonely. 173 00:08:54,274 --> 00:08:56,246 What are you doing? - Thinking. 174 00:08:56,281 --> 00:08:58,956 Well, think inside. I made pork chops. 175 00:08:58,991 --> 00:09:01,633 Aren't you gonna ask me about my job interview? 176 00:09:01,667 --> 00:09:04,075 Oh, right. How'd that go? 177 00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:07,052 Okay... until the 30-year-old who was interviewing me asked me 178 00:09:07,086 --> 00:09:10,866 if I'd ever used twittering as part of a marketing campaign. 179 00:09:10,901 --> 00:09:13,007 And what'd you say? 180 00:09:13,042 --> 00:09:14,346 Nothing... 181 00:09:14,380 --> 00:09:17,490 Because I don't know what "twittering" is. 182 00:09:17,525 --> 00:09:20,501 It's a social networking tool where you send instant updates 183 00:09:20,536 --> 00:09:23,211 to anybody who signs up for them. 184 00:09:23,245 --> 00:09:27,995 So... you knew about this, and yet you kept it from me? 185 00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:30,504 I didn't keep it from you. 186 00:09:30,538 --> 00:09:32,812 It's just one of those tech things 187 00:09:32,847 --> 00:09:35,020 that you don't care about. 188 00:09:35,055 --> 00:09:36,994 It's for young people. 189 00:09:37,028 --> 00:09:40,876 And I am a dinosaur marching into the tar pit. 190 00:09:40,910 --> 00:09:43,184 I didn't say that. 191 00:09:43,218 --> 00:09:46,195 You're not gonna get a whole lot of sympathy from me. 192 00:09:46,229 --> 00:09:48,269 I just went through the same thing. Remember? 193 00:09:48,303 --> 00:09:50,745 Yeah, but you didn't tell me how bad it was. 194 00:09:50,779 --> 00:09:53,020 That's another thing you kept from me. 195 00:09:53,054 --> 00:09:56,031 50 guys showed up for that one job, 196 00:09:56,065 --> 00:10:00,479 and I was 10 years older than every single one of 'em. 197 00:10:00,514 --> 00:10:03,022 I could hear 'em twittering as I left the room. 198 00:10:03,057 --> 00:10:06,133 I think you mean "tittering." 199 00:10:06,168 --> 00:10:09,546 Sorry. Please, don't hit me. 200 00:10:09,580 --> 00:10:13,293 I heard a door slam shut today, Lynette. 201 00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:17,208 It's official. My time has passed. 202 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:20,084 I am no longer relevant. 203 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,594 Oh, for God sakes, knock it off! 204 00:10:22,628 --> 00:10:25,102 I am not gonna let you feel sorry for yourself. 205 00:10:25,137 --> 00:10:27,712 You are Tom Scavo, damn it! 206 00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:29,652 And? 207 00:10:31,795 --> 00:10:35,842 Sorry. I got nothing else. Come inside and eat your pork. 208 00:10:43,451 --> 00:10:47,097 This place smells funny. I don't wanna be here. 209 00:10:47,131 --> 00:10:49,238 Well, you should've thought about that 210 00:10:49,273 --> 00:10:51,445 before you started acting like such a diva. Now sit down. 211 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,855 Father Crowley! 212 00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:56,029 This is a surprise. 213 00:10:56,064 --> 00:10:58,505 What brings you to our soup kitchen? 214 00:10:58,539 --> 00:11:00,981 Well, I want Juanita to work with the poor. 215 00:11:01,015 --> 00:11:03,289 I want to teach her to be grateful 216 00:11:03,324 --> 00:11:06,232 for how good she has it. - Oh, well, we can always use a hand. 217 00:11:06,267 --> 00:11:08,039 And four hands? Well, that's a blessing. 218 00:11:08,074 --> 00:11:10,381 Oh, me? No, no. Not me. 219 00:11:10,415 --> 00:11:12,456 I'm not really dressed for ladling, 220 00:11:12,490 --> 00:11:14,964 but, um, I could stand by the condiment bar 221 00:11:14,999 --> 00:11:17,507 and spritz people with my Chanel. 222 00:11:17,541 --> 00:11:23,061 And you say Juanita is a little ungrateful? Hmm. 223 00:11:30,087 --> 00:11:31,759 Fran Schulman? 224 00:11:33,266 --> 00:11:34,536 Fran. - Huh? 225 00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,610 It's Gabrielle Solis from the tennis club. 226 00:11:36,645 --> 00:11:38,717 Oh, of course. 227 00:11:38,752 --> 00:11:40,458 Wow, it's been years! 228 00:11:40,492 --> 00:11:44,137 The last time I saw you was at that charity fashion show. 229 00:11:44,172 --> 00:11:46,178 Wasn't that fun? - Yes. Yes, it was. 230 00:11:46,213 --> 00:11:48,353 So what are you doing here? Are you volunteering? 231 00:11:48,387 --> 00:11:50,828 Not exactly. - Me either. 232 00:11:50,863 --> 00:11:52,802 My daughter's gotten so snooty, 233 00:11:52,836 --> 00:11:55,779 I am forcing her to spend time with the great unwashed. 234 00:11:55,814 --> 00:11:58,757 You wanna ditch this place for a cappuccino? 235 00:11:58,791 --> 00:12:03,072 Um, actually, I'm here to eat. 236 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:09,764 Oh! 237 00:12:13,478 --> 00:12:15,652 It's Susan. 238 00:12:15,687 --> 00:12:18,663 Great. We don't see enough of her. 239 00:12:18,698 --> 00:12:21,440 And she's not alone. 240 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,852 Hey, Jackson. Long time no see. What's going on? 241 00:12:24,886 --> 00:12:28,431 Um... we sort of have an announcement. 242 00:12:29,804 --> 00:12:31,810 We're getting married. 243 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,297 Oh, my God! 244 00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:39,639 This is such great news! 245 00:12:39,674 --> 00:12:40,943 Oh! 246 00:12:40,978 --> 00:12:43,218 So... when's the date? 247 00:12:43,253 --> 00:12:44,757 Monday. 248 00:12:44,792 --> 00:12:48,003 Whoa. W-- well, that's kind of sudden. 249 00:12:48,037 --> 00:12:50,478 Well, when you know, you know. 250 00:12:50,513 --> 00:12:53,456 Why wait? And we're having a little engagement party on Friday, 251 00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,296 and you're both invited. 252 00:12:55,330 --> 00:12:57,303 A party? Count us in. 253 00:12:57,338 --> 00:13:00,080 I can't think of a better reason to... celebrate. 254 00:13:00,115 --> 00:13:02,723 Have you told M.J. yet? 255 00:13:02,758 --> 00:13:05,132 Yeah. He was on board when he found out there was cake. 256 00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,972 Okay. 257 00:13:07,006 --> 00:13:10,518 Just wanna make sure this isn't all happening too fast for him. 258 00:13:10,552 --> 00:13:13,495 You know kids. They need a little time to adjust. 259 00:13:13,530 --> 00:13:15,537 Oh, kids are resilient. 260 00:13:15,571 --> 00:13:17,978 He'll be fine. I'm so excited! 261 00:13:20,924 --> 00:13:24,736 Well, uh, we wanted you two to be the first to know, 262 00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,111 and we should probably get going. 263 00:13:27,146 --> 00:13:29,486 Got a few more neighbors to shock. 264 00:13:29,521 --> 00:13:31,963 Oh, well, we are just so happy for you. 265 00:13:31,997 --> 00:13:34,606 Yeah. Congratulations. 266 00:13:44,777 --> 00:13:48,222 Now if we're going with the Damask for the settee, 267 00:13:48,256 --> 00:13:52,002 then I strongly suggest that we do the couch in the chenille. 268 00:13:52,037 --> 00:13:53,842 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 269 00:13:53,877 --> 00:13:56,853 The only word I understood there was "couch." 270 00:13:56,888 --> 00:13:58,860 I'll explain it to him later. 271 00:13:58,895 --> 00:14:00,834 Good, because they're only going to hold this fabric 272 00:14:00,868 --> 00:14:02,874 for a couple of days. 273 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,849 Well, I am off. 274 00:14:04,883 --> 00:14:07,927 Ohh. Isn't that vase divine? 275 00:14:07,961 --> 00:14:09,934 I am so glad you like it. 276 00:14:11,273 --> 00:14:14,651 I thought we were just trying out the vase. 277 00:14:14,686 --> 00:14:17,996 I'll explain it to him later. - Okay. 278 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:20,439 Mm-hmm. Thank you. 279 00:14:22,948 --> 00:14:24,922 Can you believe this? 280 00:14:24,956 --> 00:14:27,397 Seven years ago, Evelyn did Fran's house. 281 00:14:27,432 --> 00:14:29,371 Now? No house. 282 00:14:29,406 --> 00:14:32,450 That's crazy. You ask Fran what happened? 283 00:14:32,484 --> 00:14:34,623 No! I didn't want to embarrass her. 284 00:14:34,658 --> 00:14:37,133 You met her in line for free soup. 285 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:39,608 How much more embarrassed could she get? 286 00:14:39,643 --> 00:14:42,051 Remember that dinner party she gave? 287 00:14:42,085 --> 00:14:44,526 She had 20 place settings of Tiffany china. 288 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:48,173 How does this happen to someone who has Tiffany china? 289 00:14:48,207 --> 00:14:51,050 This is $200 a yard. 290 00:14:51,085 --> 00:14:53,894 Tell Fran to save us a place in line. 291 00:14:53,928 --> 00:14:56,035 I bet I know what happened. 292 00:14:56,069 --> 00:14:57,707 She drank it away. 293 00:14:57,742 --> 00:14:59,714 That one New Year's Eve 294 00:14:59,750 --> 00:15:02,592 where she got so plowed she fell in the koi pond... 295 00:15:02,626 --> 00:15:05,503 where she landed on you, drunky sue. 296 00:15:06,976 --> 00:15:09,751 Everybody was hammered at that party. 297 00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:12,394 Well, then it must've been a gambling problem. 298 00:15:12,429 --> 00:15:14,904 Based on what? 299 00:15:14,938 --> 00:15:18,048 She never missed bingo night at Immaculate Heart... 300 00:15:18,083 --> 00:15:20,758 and she was Lutheran. 301 00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:23,602 You really think she bingo'ed her house away? 302 00:15:23,637 --> 00:15:26,545 Uh, I don't know. There has to be some reason. 303 00:15:26,580 --> 00:15:29,055 You don't fall that far that fast 304 00:15:29,089 --> 00:15:31,363 without making some really stupid choices. 305 00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:33,605 Why you gettin' so angry? 306 00:15:37,085 --> 00:15:39,593 It was Tiffany china, Carlos. 307 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:51,015 Aha! There's the man that ruined my fishing trip. 308 00:15:51,050 --> 00:15:53,157 Sorry about that, Dave. - Oh, no worries. 309 00:15:53,191 --> 00:15:56,603 Hey, I am so happy for you and Susan. Congratulations. 310 00:15:56,637 --> 00:15:58,108 Thanks. 311 00:15:58,143 --> 00:16:00,082 So how have you been? 312 00:16:00,116 --> 00:16:02,089 We haven't had a chance to talk since... 313 00:16:02,123 --> 00:16:04,397 I don't know, probably the fire. 314 00:16:04,432 --> 00:16:07,108 Uh, yeah. You were the big hero. 315 00:16:07,142 --> 00:16:09,567 I was the doofus that got stuck in the men's room. 316 00:16:09,568 --> 00:16:11,088 Oh, that was a hell of a night. 317 00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,698 Sure would like to forget that. - Yeah, me, too. 318 00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:16,208 Unfortunately, I have to go down and talk to the cops on Tuesday. 319 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:16,508 Really? 320 00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:19,485 Yeah. I went down to city hall to get my marriage certificate, 321 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,430 And I ran in one of the detectives from that night, 322 00:16:22,464 --> 00:16:24,872 and apparently, they've been trying to get in touch with me. 323 00:16:24,907 --> 00:16:27,448 So now I get to go down there the day after my wedding. 324 00:16:27,482 --> 00:16:29,221 Some honeymoon, huh? 325 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:32,232 Wow. Those guys really know how to put a crimp in your day. 326 00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:35,210 So did they say what they wanted to talk to you about? 327 00:16:35,244 --> 00:16:38,454 I guess they just wanna know if I saw anything suspicious. 328 00:16:38,489 --> 00:16:41,499 Hmm. Did you? 329 00:16:41,533 --> 00:16:44,343 Mm, no. I mean, I was backstage. 330 00:16:44,377 --> 00:16:48,057 I was headed to the men's room, and I ran into-- 331 00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,963 Oh! Ugh! 332 00:16:49,998 --> 00:16:51,636 I am so sorry. 333 00:16:51,670 --> 00:16:54,011 Oh, no. Don't worry about it. I'll take care of it. 334 00:16:54,045 --> 00:16:56,387 I mean, there's gotta be a mop around here somewhere. 335 00:16:56,421 --> 00:16:58,361 That's not coming out. 336 00:16:58,395 --> 00:17:02,074 Oh, Bree can get rid of that in a jiffy. 337 00:17:02,109 --> 00:17:04,884 Now where did she go? 338 00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:16,024 Okay. Showtime. - Wipe your feet first. 339 00:17:16,059 --> 00:17:17,999 I just had the carpets cleaned. 340 00:17:18,033 --> 00:17:19,972 Just because we're thieves 341 00:17:20,007 --> 00:17:22,482 doesn't mean we need to be untidy. 342 00:17:35,396 --> 00:17:37,235 Are we stealing this? 343 00:17:37,270 --> 00:17:39,176 Uh, yes. As I recall, it's quite valuable. 344 00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:41,919 What about this? - Oh, God, no. 345 00:17:41,953 --> 00:17:43,959 That's Orson's dental Innovator of the Year award. 346 00:17:43,994 --> 00:17:45,967 I've always hated that thing. 347 00:17:46,002 --> 00:17:47,840 Oh, here. 348 00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:51,287 What are you doing? 349 00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:54,665 I, uh, took some of my silver off the mantle, 350 00:17:54,700 --> 00:17:56,639 and it threw off the balance. 351 00:17:56,674 --> 00:17:59,349 Yeah. 352 00:17:59,383 --> 00:18:02,059 You're right. Let me help. 353 00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:06,609 There. Balance restored. 354 00:18:06,643 --> 00:18:08,817 Was that necessary? 355 00:18:08,851 --> 00:18:11,828 This place has to look like it was ransacked by robbers, 356 00:18:11,862 --> 00:18:13,500 not someone's personal shopper. 357 00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:16,143 Fine! But do you have to do it with such relish? 358 00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:21,161 Hey, you're not paying me to just go through the motions. 359 00:18:21,195 --> 00:18:24,507 Speaking of which... are you nailing Orson like we discussed? 360 00:18:24,541 --> 00:18:26,983 That is none of your business. 361 00:18:27,017 --> 00:18:29,826 Well, we have to make sure he doesn't suspect anything. 362 00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:32,770 I do the bare minimum. No more, no less. 363 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,220 So is he just missionary? 364 00:18:38,793 --> 00:18:41,134 He seems like a strictly missionary kind of guy. 365 00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:43,108 Must you be so crude? 366 00:18:43,142 --> 00:18:45,517 Must you always be such a priss? 367 00:18:45,551 --> 00:18:47,491 You freak out at the mention of sex. 368 00:18:47,525 --> 00:18:49,498 You never want to make a mess. 369 00:18:49,532 --> 00:18:51,639 You suppress every spontaneous urge you ever have! 370 00:18:51,673 --> 00:18:54,315 Man, it must be exhausting being you! 371 00:18:54,350 --> 00:18:56,289 Yes, being a lady takes effort. 372 00:18:56,323 --> 00:18:58,799 Well, maybe give it a rest once in a while. 373 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,374 It might surprise you how good it feels. 374 00:19:01,409 --> 00:19:03,883 You wanna be a Neanderthal, Karl? That's your choice. 375 00:19:03,918 --> 00:19:06,359 I prefer to behave with class and dignity. 376 00:19:06,394 --> 00:19:09,203 Now may we please finish robbing my home? 377 00:19:23,221 --> 00:19:27,737 Bill Brown! 378 00:19:27,771 --> 00:19:30,178 It's Tom Scavo. 379 00:19:30,214 --> 00:19:32,688 Tom! Oh, my God! 380 00:19:32,722 --> 00:19:34,662 What are you doing here? 381 00:19:34,696 --> 00:19:37,673 Well, Jackson and I are in the same soccer league. 382 00:19:37,707 --> 00:19:39,646 Lynette, this is Bill Brown. 383 00:19:39,682 --> 00:19:41,490 We were roommates freshmen year in college. 384 00:19:41,491 --> 00:19:41,654 Hi. 385 00:19:41,689 --> 00:19:43,628 Really? - Yeah! 386 00:19:43,662 --> 00:19:46,121 God, you look fantastic. You haven't aged a day. 387 00:19:46,122 --> 00:19:47,275 Hey, right back at ya. 388 00:19:47,309 --> 00:19:49,382 Liar. You didn't even recognize me. 389 00:19:49,416 --> 00:19:51,476 Back up a second. You guys were classmates? 390 00:19:51,477 --> 00:19:51,757 Yeah. 391 00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:54,133 Meaning you were in the same class at the same time? 392 00:19:54,167 --> 00:19:56,641 That's what classmates means, Lynette. We're the same age. 393 00:19:58,316 --> 00:20:00,757 Actually, I think I'm six months older. 394 00:20:00,791 --> 00:20:02,798 You're older?! 395 00:20:02,832 --> 00:20:05,240 I'm sorry, I just cannot believe... 396 00:20:06,713 --> 00:20:08,987 That they're out of stuffed mushrooms. 397 00:20:09,021 --> 00:20:10,726 Excuse me. 398 00:20:10,761 --> 00:20:13,235 Okay, my wife's annoying, but she is right. 399 00:20:13,270 --> 00:20:15,678 What's your secret? What is it? Diet? Exercise? 400 00:20:15,712 --> 00:20:18,153 You eatin' a bowl of stem cells every morning? 401 00:20:18,188 --> 00:20:20,663 Come on. What's going on, Peter Pan? 402 00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:22,938 Okay... You really wanna know? 403 00:20:26,585 --> 00:20:27,922 Hi! 404 00:20:27,957 --> 00:20:30,364 This is for you and Jackson. Congratulations! 405 00:20:30,398 --> 00:20:32,350 Aw, how sweet. Oh! And heavy. 406 00:20:32,351 --> 00:20:33,911 Score. 407 00:20:33,945 --> 00:20:35,885 Yeah, well, we can afford to be generous 408 00:20:35,919 --> 00:20:38,795 now that I'm off the hook for alimony. 409 00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:40,468 Yeah. What? 410 00:20:40,502 --> 00:20:42,140 You're getting remarried. 411 00:20:42,175 --> 00:20:44,282 So I can stop sending that check every month. 412 00:20:44,316 --> 00:20:47,091 Everybody gets a gift. 413 00:20:47,127 --> 00:20:49,066 Right! Score for you! 414 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:52,044 Uh, can I talk to you for a sec? 415 00:20:52,078 --> 00:20:53,415 Yeah? 416 00:20:58,099 --> 00:21:00,073 Oh, thank you. 417 00:21:02,181 --> 00:21:04,087 You get alimony? 418 00:21:04,121 --> 00:21:06,428 I thought you were too proud take alimony. 419 00:21:06,464 --> 00:21:09,406 I was too proud to admit it. I'm not too proud to take it. 420 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,581 I need that money, Jackson. 421 00:21:11,582 --> 00:21:14,024 Well, I-I can try to chip in. - "Chip in"? 422 00:21:14,058 --> 00:21:16,532 It's not a birthday cake for Shirley in accounting. 423 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:20,112 It's mortgage and food and insurance. 424 00:21:20,147 --> 00:21:22,153 I'm sorry, but I can't marry you. 425 00:21:22,187 --> 00:21:24,796 No, Susan, they'll send me back. 426 00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:26,468 It's Canada, not Iran. 427 00:21:26,502 --> 00:21:29,011 It's like America with free health insurance. 428 00:21:29,045 --> 00:21:31,487 Okay, I know this is important to you, 429 00:21:31,521 --> 00:21:34,498 but I depend on that check every month. - And I know you do. 430 00:21:34,532 --> 00:21:37,475 I just can't believe that I finally found a job that I love, 431 00:21:37,509 --> 00:21:40,486 and now I just gotta give it up. 432 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,995 Well, look, maybe... I could talk to Mike. 433 00:21:43,029 --> 00:21:45,237 I could see if we could work something out. 434 00:21:45,271 --> 00:21:46,742 You'd do that? 435 00:21:46,777 --> 00:21:48,849 Yeah, I'll try. 436 00:21:48,884 --> 00:21:51,359 Don't think he's not gonna want his gift back. 437 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,399 And it's really heavy, too. 438 00:21:59,289 --> 00:22:00,693 So... 439 00:22:00,727 --> 00:22:03,202 you thought my friend bill looked pretty fantastic, huh? 440 00:22:03,236 --> 00:22:05,175 Okay, I went a little overboard. 441 00:22:05,211 --> 00:22:07,350 You know me--two margaritas, and I need a muzzle. 442 00:22:07,384 --> 00:22:09,290 No, I completely agree with you. He looks really young. 443 00:22:09,325 --> 00:22:11,197 I know, right? He must take care of himself. 444 00:22:11,232 --> 00:22:13,205 Actually, he told me his secret, 445 00:22:13,240 --> 00:22:15,312 and I'm thinking of doing the same thing. 446 00:22:15,347 --> 00:22:19,059 No, you're not having plastic surgery. 447 00:22:19,094 --> 00:22:20,498 It's my face. 448 00:22:20,533 --> 00:22:22,572 Uh, we live in a community property state, 449 00:22:22,606 --> 00:22:24,580 so half that face is mine. 450 00:22:24,614 --> 00:22:27,558 Fine, you know what? You get the half below the nose. 451 00:22:27,592 --> 00:22:30,669 But these wrinkles up here? All going away. 452 00:22:30,703 --> 00:22:33,177 Tom, men don't need plastic surgery. 453 00:22:33,211 --> 00:22:36,121 They look better as they age. 454 00:22:36,156 --> 00:22:37,460 Real? 455 00:22:37,494 --> 00:22:39,467 Because you couldn't stop talking 456 00:22:39,501 --> 00:22:41,943 about how great Bill looked. "you guys were classmates? 457 00:22:41,978 --> 00:22:44,585 You mean the same class at the same time?" 458 00:22:44,621 --> 00:22:47,596 Okay, that's a lousy impression of me. 459 00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:51,076 Look, Bill said it really gave him a leg up in job interviews, 460 00:22:51,111 --> 00:22:53,585 and I could use that right now. 461 00:22:53,619 --> 00:22:55,593 You don't need a face-lift. 462 00:22:55,627 --> 00:22:58,101 What if I went out and got a boob job 463 00:22:58,136 --> 00:23:00,744 and came home with big, giant sideshow boobs? 464 00:23:00,779 --> 00:23:02,751 How would you like that? 465 00:23:02,787 --> 00:23:05,595 I'd learn to live with it somehow. 466 00:23:07,437 --> 00:23:10,714 You're not doing this. We can't afford it! 467 00:23:10,749 --> 00:23:14,059 It's an investment in our future. We can't afford not to. 468 00:23:14,094 --> 00:23:16,870 I'm calling the doctor and making an appointment. 469 00:23:16,904 --> 00:23:19,551 If you want, I can also get a price check on a pair of-- 470 00:23:19,552 --> 00:23:20,851 I'm not getting a boob job. 471 00:23:27,944 --> 00:23:31,724 Why don't I make you a nice cup of Earl Grey... 472 00:23:33,665 --> 00:23:36,675 Oh, dear God. 473 00:23:36,709 --> 00:23:40,890 Orson, we've been robbed! 474 00:23:40,925 --> 00:23:43,500 It wasn't me. I swear. 475 00:23:49,084 --> 00:23:51,170 No cuts! Back of the line. 476 00:23:51,204 --> 00:23:54,333 Oh, relax. I already ate dinner at home... 477 00:23:54,367 --> 00:23:57,362 in my box under the bridge. 478 00:23:59,617 --> 00:24:00,962 Fran? 479 00:24:00,997 --> 00:24:04,023 Oh, God. I was afraid I wouldn't find you here. 480 00:24:04,059 --> 00:24:06,716 Ah, lucky you, I'm still poor. 481 00:24:06,751 --> 00:24:09,374 I feel bad I ducked out so fast the other day. 482 00:24:09,409 --> 00:24:11,360 And I've been thinking about you a lot, 483 00:24:11,394 --> 00:24:13,681 and I just-- I really wanna help. 484 00:24:18,089 --> 00:24:20,613 Wow. 485 00:24:20,647 --> 00:24:22,261 Thank you. Thank you! 486 00:24:22,296 --> 00:24:23,843 Now... 487 00:24:23,878 --> 00:24:26,501 I just wanna make sure that you're not gonna... 488 00:24:26,536 --> 00:24:28,487 you know... 489 00:24:28,522 --> 00:24:31,482 Drinking was never my problem, Gaby. 490 00:24:31,517 --> 00:24:34,712 I didn't think so. You were always so classy. 491 00:24:34,746 --> 00:24:36,462 20, 40, 60... 492 00:24:36,497 --> 00:24:38,481 Was it drugs? 493 00:24:38,515 --> 00:24:40,970 No. I never did drugs. 494 00:24:41,006 --> 00:24:42,418 Good to know. 495 00:24:42,452 --> 00:24:43,931 80, 100. 496 00:24:43,966 --> 00:24:46,927 Because gambling is bad enough without being high. 497 00:24:46,961 --> 00:24:49,450 I never gambled a day in my life, Gaby. 498 00:24:49,486 --> 00:24:52,984 Well, then what the hell happened? 499 00:24:53,018 --> 00:24:54,632 This doesn't make sense. 500 00:24:54,666 --> 00:24:57,930 I was at your house. You had such lovely things. 501 00:24:57,964 --> 00:25:00,622 Yes, Mark and I lived really well. 502 00:25:00,656 --> 00:25:03,280 Probably a little... too well. 503 00:25:03,314 --> 00:25:04,962 But we were young, 504 00:25:04,997 --> 00:25:07,923 and we thought we had time to save for the future. 505 00:25:07,958 --> 00:25:10,278 Then he died. 506 00:25:10,313 --> 00:25:13,879 Mark died? 507 00:25:13,914 --> 00:25:15,898 I didn't know. 508 00:25:15,933 --> 00:25:18,220 He was sick a really long time. 509 00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:20,509 He couldn't work. He lost his insurance. 510 00:25:20,543 --> 00:25:23,503 By the time he passed away, we were completely wiped out. 511 00:25:23,538 --> 00:25:25,892 Oh, Fran, I'm so sorry. 512 00:25:25,927 --> 00:25:29,627 You didn't have any family to turn to? Any friends? 513 00:25:29,661 --> 00:25:33,799 No family, and as it turns out, not too many friends either. 514 00:25:33,834 --> 00:25:36,862 Look, Gaby, know you came here 515 00:25:36,896 --> 00:25:39,890 wanting to find out what I did to make this all happen. 516 00:25:39,925 --> 00:25:42,818 But the truth is, we're all just an accident or a tumor 517 00:25:42,852 --> 00:25:44,837 or a bad investment away from... 518 00:25:44,871 --> 00:25:47,528 standing in line for free soup. 519 00:25:47,563 --> 00:25:48,908 Thank you. 520 00:25:51,466 --> 00:25:53,989 I don't agree, Fran. 521 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:01,830 You know, Carlos went blind for five years. 522 00:26:01,864 --> 00:26:04,319 We went broke. We almost lost our house. 523 00:26:04,354 --> 00:26:07,315 But we worked our asses off and we made it back. 524 00:26:07,349 --> 00:26:10,983 Oh, so just because you survived that, 525 00:26:11,017 --> 00:26:13,472 you think you've crossed some kind of finish line, 526 00:26:13,506 --> 00:26:15,794 that nothing bad can happen again? 527 00:26:15,828 --> 00:26:17,812 Well, no, but-- - Listen. 528 00:26:17,847 --> 00:26:20,303 I hope it works out for you. 529 00:26:20,338 --> 00:26:24,071 I hope you never lose that big, beautiful home of yours. 530 00:26:24,106 --> 00:26:27,335 God knows I wish I'd appreciated mine more while I had it. 531 00:26:31,710 --> 00:26:34,772 Thank you again. 532 00:26:50,587 --> 00:26:54,524 Remind me again when you're getting your teeth cleaned. 533 00:26:54,558 --> 00:26:57,115 Um... the 14th. 534 00:26:57,150 --> 00:26:59,134 And the 15th, we have tickets 535 00:26:59,169 --> 00:27:01,623 to that play that you're dragging me to. 536 00:27:01,659 --> 00:27:02,970 Yes. Why? 537 00:27:03,004 --> 00:27:05,459 I'm just--I'm trying to figure out 538 00:27:05,495 --> 00:27:08,488 when would be a good time to get married. 539 00:27:08,524 --> 00:27:11,146 I'm sorry. What did you just... 540 00:27:11,182 --> 00:27:12,830 I know, I know. 541 00:27:12,864 --> 00:27:15,319 Not the most romantic proposal in the world. 542 00:27:15,353 --> 00:27:18,313 I shouldn't have led with the teeth cleaning. 543 00:27:18,348 --> 00:27:21,006 I feel I can overlook that. 544 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,360 So is that a yes? 545 00:27:23,397 --> 00:27:25,986 Yes! It's a yes! 546 00:27:26,020 --> 00:27:27,198 Oh! 547 00:27:28,611 --> 00:27:31,740 Wow! What brought this on? 548 00:27:31,775 --> 00:27:34,095 It just seemed like the right time. 549 00:27:34,131 --> 00:27:36,249 Oh, Mike. 550 00:27:36,283 --> 00:27:38,268 I'm so happy. 551 00:27:38,303 --> 00:27:40,253 I love you. 552 00:27:49,744 --> 00:27:51,761 I love you, too. 553 00:27:56,910 --> 00:27:58,861 I understand taking things, 554 00:27:58,895 --> 00:28:02,125 but why smash something you're gonna leave behind? 555 00:28:02,159 --> 00:28:05,287 They're robbers, dear. Not personal shoppers. 556 00:28:05,324 --> 00:28:07,778 Yeah, well, whoever did this should be shot. 557 00:28:07,813 --> 00:28:10,268 Well, I wonder if the victims of your kleptomania 558 00:28:10,303 --> 00:28:13,431 felt the same way. 559 00:28:13,465 --> 00:28:16,055 You know what? You're absolutely right. 560 00:28:16,091 --> 00:28:18,579 I never realized what my stealing put people through. 561 00:28:18,613 --> 00:28:20,229 Maybe this is karma. 562 00:28:20,263 --> 00:28:21,742 What is that? 563 00:28:21,777 --> 00:28:23,358 Oh. 564 00:28:23,392 --> 00:28:27,126 It's a picture of the mask they stole. 565 00:28:27,161 --> 00:28:29,448 I drew it from memory. 566 00:28:29,483 --> 00:28:31,466 Wow. 567 00:28:31,502 --> 00:28:33,789 Hmm. Remember where we got it? 568 00:28:33,823 --> 00:28:35,302 Was it Florence? 569 00:28:35,338 --> 00:28:36,649 Venice. 570 00:28:36,683 --> 00:28:39,139 We walked past that little shop under the bridge, 571 00:28:39,173 --> 00:28:40,856 and you saw it in the window. 572 00:28:40,890 --> 00:28:42,706 Oh, that's right. 573 00:28:42,740 --> 00:28:44,118 Mm. 574 00:28:44,154 --> 00:28:46,710 You told me you'd been wearing a mask all your life, 575 00:28:46,745 --> 00:28:48,729 but with me, you felt-- 576 00:28:48,764 --> 00:28:51,723 Like I could finally take it off and be myself. 577 00:28:51,758 --> 00:28:53,541 Yeah. 578 00:28:55,729 --> 00:28:58,083 Anyway, I faxed it to the shop in Venice. 579 00:28:58,118 --> 00:29:00,102 They said they could make a new one. 580 00:29:00,137 --> 00:29:02,694 I should have it for you in about a month. 581 00:29:02,728 --> 00:29:05,082 I can't believe you went to all that trouble 582 00:29:05,117 --> 00:29:08,111 then you must not know how much you mean to me. 583 00:29:21,976 --> 00:29:23,824 Hello? Oh, hi, Dave. 584 00:29:23,860 --> 00:29:26,315 No, of course not. What's on your mind? 585 00:29:26,349 --> 00:29:29,343 Well, I figured it was time to get back to work, 586 00:29:29,377 --> 00:29:31,868 so I put together a speaking tour-- 587 00:29:31,902 --> 00:29:34,290 Seattle, Portland, my usual route. 588 00:29:34,324 --> 00:29:38,429 Work? Are you sure it's not too soon? - Well, I have to do it eventually. 589 00:29:38,463 --> 00:29:39,943 Anyway, I was hoping 590 00:29:39,978 --> 00:29:42,602 you could check in on the house now and then. 591 00:29:42,636 --> 00:29:44,620 Of course. 592 00:29:44,655 --> 00:29:47,682 Oh, someone's at my door. Let me get rid of them. 593 00:29:50,274 --> 00:29:52,259 Hey, Katherine, is Mike here? 594 00:29:52,293 --> 00:29:54,647 No, he's at work. Oh, shoot. Um... 595 00:29:54,682 --> 00:29:58,101 Well, can you tell him to call me as soon as he gets back? 596 00:29:58,102 --> 00:29:58,449 Sure. 597 00:29:59,628 --> 00:30:02,218 Is everything okay? 598 00:30:02,253 --> 00:30:03,632 Uh, well... 599 00:30:05,247 --> 00:30:08,209 Okay, you know what? Mike's probably gonna tell you anyway, 600 00:30:08,243 --> 00:30:10,664 so just can't tell anyone else, okay? 601 00:30:10,699 --> 00:30:13,188 There's not a problem with the wedding, is there? 602 00:30:13,222 --> 00:30:15,376 It's still on, right? 603 00:30:15,410 --> 00:30:18,034 It depends. 604 00:30:18,068 --> 00:30:20,423 Jackson and I are only getting married 605 00:30:20,457 --> 00:30:22,307 because he needs his green card. 606 00:30:22,342 --> 00:30:24,426 Oh. 607 00:30:24,462 --> 00:30:27,421 And then I realized that I would lose my alimony. 608 00:30:27,456 --> 00:30:30,282 So unless Mike will keep paying me, I can't get married. 609 00:30:30,316 --> 00:30:32,334 You have to. 610 00:30:32,369 --> 00:30:34,017 I mean, poor Jackson. 611 00:30:34,052 --> 00:30:37,685 I-I would hate to see him deported back to... 612 00:30:37,719 --> 00:30:40,646 where's he from? - Canada. 613 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:44,011 Oh! Oh! Brr! We can't have that! 614 00:30:44,045 --> 00:30:46,283 If you want, I could talk to Mike for you. 615 00:30:46,284 --> 00:30:47,376 That would be great. 616 00:30:47,411 --> 00:30:49,799 Just tell him I need an answer quickly 617 00:30:49,833 --> 00:30:51,817 'cause the wedding is Monday. 618 00:30:51,851 --> 00:30:55,755 Well, don't cancel anything yet. You'll have your answer tonight. 619 00:30:55,789 --> 00:30:57,336 Thanks. 620 00:31:04,975 --> 00:31:07,666 Sorry, Dave. 621 00:31:07,701 --> 00:31:09,047 Dave? 622 00:31:17,370 --> 00:31:18,796 Hey. 623 00:31:18,831 --> 00:31:21,309 Hey, Lynette. How's it going? 624 00:31:21,343 --> 00:31:24,297 Oh, my husband wants to spend money we don't have 625 00:31:24,333 --> 00:31:26,743 on a face-lift he doesn't need, so... not great. 626 00:31:26,779 --> 00:31:28,950 Mm, tell him to be careful. 627 00:31:28,985 --> 00:31:31,430 Have you seen Bruce in payroll? 628 00:31:31,466 --> 00:31:34,419 He just went in for a little nip and tuck. 629 00:31:34,453 --> 00:31:36,694 And? How's he look? 630 00:31:36,728 --> 00:31:39,682 Like he's standing in a wind tunnel. 631 00:31:39,718 --> 00:31:41,686 Really? - Mm-hmm. 632 00:31:41,721 --> 00:31:43,147 Poor Bruce. 633 00:31:43,182 --> 00:31:44,743 Yep. 634 00:31:47,224 --> 00:31:48,852 What's his extension? 635 00:31:48,888 --> 00:31:51,977 And I'm thinking I may have acted rashly. 636 00:31:52,011 --> 00:31:55,441 I mean, every marriage has its rough patches. 637 00:31:55,476 --> 00:31:58,430 Orson loves me, and deep down, he's a good man. 638 00:31:58,465 --> 00:32:01,384 If I stick with this, maybe we can make it work. 639 00:32:01,420 --> 00:32:03,388 Are you even listening to me? 640 00:32:03,424 --> 00:32:05,766 Don't need to. Heard it all before. 641 00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:07,056 Oh, really? 642 00:32:07,091 --> 00:32:09,875 I've been doing this 20 years. 643 00:32:09,911 --> 00:32:12,014 And trust me, 644 00:32:12,050 --> 00:32:14,052 every woman gets cold feet. 645 00:32:14,088 --> 00:32:17,041 "Am I making a mistake?" 646 00:32:17,076 --> 00:32:19,044 "Was he really that bad?" 647 00:32:19,045 --> 00:32:22,101 "Maybe I could try harder. 648 00:32:22,136 --> 00:32:25,225 And I'm gonna tell you what I tell them-- 649 00:32:25,261 --> 00:32:27,230 you're not making a mistake. 650 00:32:27,265 --> 00:32:29,233 He really is that bad. 651 00:32:29,269 --> 00:32:31,679 And no matter how hard you try, 652 00:32:31,713 --> 00:32:33,682 he's still gonna be the same jerk 653 00:32:33,718 --> 00:32:36,705 who sent you into this office in the first place. 654 00:32:36,739 --> 00:32:38,710 Oh. So I'm just like everyone else, 655 00:32:38,744 --> 00:32:40,814 and you know everything I'm going to say. 656 00:32:40,850 --> 00:32:42,174 Yep. 657 00:32:42,208 --> 00:32:45,807 I even know the stuff you're not going to say. 658 00:32:45,842 --> 00:32:47,675 I doubt that. 659 00:32:47,710 --> 00:32:50,120 Let me give it a shot. 660 00:32:50,155 --> 00:32:52,123 You've been thinking, 661 00:32:52,159 --> 00:32:54,773 "What happens if I walk away from Orson 662 00:32:54,807 --> 00:32:58,442 and everything I invested in this relationship?" 663 00:33:01,091 --> 00:33:04,791 "Will I ever find another man?" 664 00:33:07,306 --> 00:33:10,837 Will you spend the rest of your life alone? 665 00:33:13,521 --> 00:33:15,422 Close? 666 00:33:18,174 --> 00:33:20,584 In the ballpark. 667 00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,271 Well, you listen to me. 668 00:33:25,307 --> 00:33:27,275 You've got nothing to worry about. 669 00:33:30,570 --> 00:33:33,660 You're a beautiful, elegant, classy woman, 670 00:33:33,694 --> 00:33:36,954 and there's no way you're gonna end up alone. 671 00:33:45,615 --> 00:33:48,060 And do you say that to every woman, too? 672 00:33:48,095 --> 00:33:49,589 No. 673 00:33:49,623 --> 00:33:52,101 I mean, I get some real uggos in here. 674 00:33:52,136 --> 00:33:54,615 You know, the kind that are gonna die alone 675 00:33:54,649 --> 00:33:57,909 and get eaten by their cats. 676 00:33:57,943 --> 00:33:59,369 Charming. 677 00:33:59,404 --> 00:34:02,901 So are we back in business? 678 00:34:02,936 --> 00:34:06,909 Send me the papers when they're ready. 679 00:34:13,737 --> 00:34:15,739 Honey, I'm glad you're home. 680 00:34:15,775 --> 00:34:18,182 I brought someone me from work I want you to meet. 681 00:34:18,183 --> 00:34:18,796 w-- 682 00:34:18,831 --> 00:34:19,067 Ohh. 683 00:34:19,068 --> 00:34:21,783 Yeah. It turns out he got the same procedure 684 00:34:21,820 --> 00:34:24,535 that you're thinking about getting. 685 00:34:24,571 --> 00:34:26,361 So I thought maybe you could chat him up about it. 686 00:34:26,362 --> 00:34:27,694 So you're finally on board with this? 687 00:34:27,729 --> 00:34:29,731 Well, like you said, it's your face. 688 00:34:29,767 --> 00:34:33,263 Come on, I'm dying for you to meet Bruce. 689 00:34:37,273 --> 00:34:39,716 Bruce, I want you to meet my husband Tom. 690 00:34:41,585 --> 00:34:45,694 Hi, Tom. 691 00:34:45,729 --> 00:34:49,089 So, um, Lynette tells me 692 00:34:49,125 --> 00:34:52,248 you're thinking about having a little elective surgery. 693 00:34:52,284 --> 00:34:54,829 Did she? - Mm-hmm. 694 00:34:54,864 --> 00:34:58,939 Now you may not be able to tell, 695 00:34:58,974 --> 00:35:01,724 but I've had work done. 696 00:35:01,758 --> 00:35:05,493 Really? Have they finished? 697 00:35:05,529 --> 00:35:08,075 Yeah. 698 00:35:08,110 --> 00:35:11,540 Now I should warn you that, uh... 699 00:35:11,574 --> 00:35:14,155 after they operate, it looks a little weird. 700 00:35:14,189 --> 00:35:16,802 Oh, I was wondering about that. Yeah. 701 00:35:16,839 --> 00:35:19,656 But eventually it settles, like this. 702 00:35:19,691 --> 00:35:21,490 Mm. 703 00:35:29,370 --> 00:35:31,338 Isn't it exciting, Tom? 704 00:35:31,374 --> 00:35:34,361 In a few weeks, you are gonna look just like Bruce. 705 00:35:36,604 --> 00:35:40,475 Hey, if you want, I'll give you the name of my surgeon. 706 00:35:40,509 --> 00:35:43,973 Yes. I definitely want the name of the guy who did that. 707 00:35:44,007 --> 00:35:46,995 Lynette, um, Bruce looks like he could use something to drink, 708 00:35:47,031 --> 00:35:49,543 and I know that I sure could. 709 00:35:49,578 --> 00:35:52,260 C-could you excuse us for a sec? 710 00:35:55,827 --> 00:35:58,746 Very clever, Lynette--inviting the joker over to scare me. 711 00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:01,769 I wanted you to see the face they don't put in the brochure. 712 00:36:01,803 --> 00:36:04,792 I will be having my work done by a reputable surgeon. 713 00:36:04,826 --> 00:36:07,100 Bruce looks like his was done by a bear. 714 00:36:07,136 --> 00:36:09,615 That's my point. 715 00:36:09,649 --> 00:36:11,818 You don't know how these things will turn out. 716 00:36:12,638 --> 00:36:15,626 Well, I am willing to take that risk. I'm doing it. 717 00:36:15,660 --> 00:36:17,766 Why are you being so stubborn? 718 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:19,973 Why do you care so much? 719 00:36:20,008 --> 00:36:23,674 Because I don't want to have plastic surgery. 720 00:36:23,709 --> 00:36:24,863 What? 721 00:36:24,898 --> 00:36:28,666 Tom, if you're unsatisfied with your looks, 722 00:36:28,702 --> 00:36:32,198 someday you're gonna be unsatisfied with mine. 723 00:36:32,235 --> 00:36:33,591 No. 724 00:36:33,627 --> 00:36:35,188 No. - Yes. 725 00:36:35,222 --> 00:36:38,992 You are going to look at me someday with your brand-new face 726 00:36:39,026 --> 00:36:41,742 And say, "when did she get so old?" 727 00:36:41,777 --> 00:36:45,648 We won't look like we belong together anymore. 728 00:36:45,683 --> 00:36:49,010 Lynette, I'm just talking about gettin' rid of a few wrinkles. 729 00:36:49,045 --> 00:36:51,014 But I don't see your wrinkles, Tom. 730 00:36:51,049 --> 00:36:53,053 I see our whole life together. 731 00:36:54,650 --> 00:36:57,060 This... 732 00:36:57,094 --> 00:37:01,712 is you worrying about how you're going to provide for us. 733 00:37:01,747 --> 00:37:04,701 This is Penny falling out of the tree house 734 00:37:04,736 --> 00:37:06,840 and breaking her arm. 735 00:37:06,876 --> 00:37:09,558 This is my cancer. 736 00:37:12,004 --> 00:37:14,482 These are the millions of laughs 737 00:37:14,516 --> 00:37:17,029 that got us through all those tough times. 738 00:37:19,272 --> 00:37:22,056 It's like a map of our marriage, 739 00:37:22,090 --> 00:37:24,977 and I don't want to lose it. 740 00:37:25,012 --> 00:37:27,524 And it if keeps me from getting a job? 741 00:37:29,597 --> 00:37:32,380 You're gonna get a job, 742 00:37:32,416 --> 00:37:35,301 And it'll be because they're impressed by your experience, 743 00:37:35,336 --> 00:37:37,305 not your wrinkle-free face. 744 00:37:37,340 --> 00:37:40,939 I know exactly what you mean. 745 00:37:40,973 --> 00:37:43,044 And I love your face, too. 746 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:44,675 Mmm. 747 00:37:44,709 --> 00:37:46,916 Mmm. 748 00:37:46,951 --> 00:37:49,566 And this wrinkle here, that's when-- 749 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:53,131 This isn't about me, Tom. 750 00:37:53,167 --> 00:37:56,017 Come on. Mwah. 751 00:38:03,151 --> 00:38:04,814 Hey. 752 00:38:04,849 --> 00:38:06,376 Good news. 753 00:38:06,411 --> 00:38:08,787 Looks like we're getting fake married after all. 754 00:38:08,823 --> 00:38:11,028 Really? - Yeah. 755 00:38:11,064 --> 00:38:14,256 Mike agreed to keep paying me alimony. He just sent me a text. 756 00:38:14,291 --> 00:38:17,142 Oh, man. That's a relief. 757 00:38:17,177 --> 00:38:18,841 And unbelievably generous. 758 00:38:18,876 --> 00:38:22,134 I'm gonna send him a thank-you right now. 759 00:38:25,192 --> 00:38:28,248 You're welcome. 760 00:38:38,741 --> 00:38:41,263 You know, I really can't tell you 761 00:38:41,298 --> 00:38:44,366 how much I appreciate you doing this for me, Susan. 762 00:38:44,401 --> 00:38:46,651 And I promise, as long as I'm here, 763 00:38:46,686 --> 00:38:48,629 I'll pitch in around the house, run errands. 764 00:38:48,664 --> 00:38:50,982 You know, just like a real husband. 765 00:38:51,018 --> 00:38:53,165 Clearly, you've never been married before. 766 00:38:53,199 --> 00:38:56,302 Well, you know, just because this is, um... 767 00:38:56,337 --> 00:38:59,303 a fake marriage, doesn't mean it can't be wonderful. 768 00:38:59,338 --> 00:39:02,271 Well, I've been in some real marriages that weren't, 769 00:39:02,305 --> 00:39:05,237 so... maybe you're right. 770 00:39:13,252 --> 00:39:15,877 Oh, look. Cans. 771 00:39:15,913 --> 00:39:18,366 You can't have a wedding without cans and signage! 772 00:39:18,401 --> 00:39:20,242 Sweet! 773 00:39:20,277 --> 00:39:22,723 Let's get to the car wash on our way to the courthouse. 774 00:39:22,724 --> 00:39:23,073 Mm-hmm. 775 00:39:27,882 --> 00:39:29,041 Jackson Braddock? 776 00:39:29,076 --> 00:39:30,132 Yes? 777 00:39:30,167 --> 00:39:32,314 We're with immigration. 778 00:39:32,350 --> 00:39:34,565 You're in the country on an expired visa. 779 00:39:34,599 --> 00:39:37,055 You're gonna have to come with us. - Oh, no, no, no. 780 00:39:37,090 --> 00:39:39,919 You--you can't take him now. - Ma'am, I need you to step back. 781 00:39:39,954 --> 00:39:42,170 Susan, there's a business card on the dresser 782 00:39:42,205 --> 00:39:45,000 with an attorney's number. Would you call him for me, please? 783 00:39:45,036 --> 00:39:47,444 Please, can't this wait? We're about to get married. 784 00:39:47,445 --> 00:39:48,444 Not today you're not. 785 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,935 What's going on? Who are these guys? - Uh... immigration agents, 786 00:39:50,969 --> 00:39:52,912 and I think they're... 787 00:39:52,948 --> 00:39:54,924 sending Jackson back to Canada. 788 00:40:22,242 --> 00:40:22,569 Hello? 789 00:40:22,570 --> 00:40:25,241 May I speak with, uh, Bree Van de Kamp? 790 00:40:25,277 --> 00:40:28,208 Oh, she's not in at the moment. Can I take a message? 791 00:40:28,243 --> 00:40:30,732 Uh, yeah, this is Sheila with Weston Brothers Storage. 792 00:40:30,767 --> 00:40:32,977 It's about the storage unit she just rented. 793 00:40:32,978 --> 00:40:33,665 Storage unit? 794 00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:35,642 Uh, yeah, we overcharged her on the deposit. 795 00:40:35,677 --> 00:40:37,655 Tell her not to worry. 796 00:40:37,690 --> 00:40:39,633 We're gonna deduct it from her next bill. 797 00:40:39,668 --> 00:40:41,611 Okay. Uh, thank you. - You're welcome. 798 00:40:45,090 --> 00:40:48,601 Everyone wears some kind of mask, 799 00:40:48,637 --> 00:40:50,614 so you must look closely 800 00:40:50,648 --> 00:40:54,365 to find the truth that lies beneath. 801 00:40:55,491 --> 00:40:57,536 Hi. Mwah. 802 00:40:57,572 --> 00:41:02,686 Some conceal anxiety about growing older. 803 00:41:06,131 --> 00:41:10,052 Some hide fears of financial ruin. 804 00:41:17,078 --> 00:41:22,500 Others cover up a love that continues to linger. 805 00:41:29,082 --> 00:41:33,344 And then there are those who let their masks slip. 806 00:41:38,324 --> 00:41:40,369 If you look to their eyes, 807 00:41:40,404 --> 00:41:43,745 you'll see who they really are... 808 00:41:43,780 --> 00:41:47,866 and exactly what they're capable of. 809 00:41:47,867 --> 00:41:48,867 Subtitles by LeapinLar 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net