ÊÚÑÝæä Ðáß ÇáäæÚ ãä ÇáÇÔÎÇÕ You know the kind of guy
ÇáÐí áÇíÝÚá ÛíÑ ÇáÇÔíÇÁ ÇáÓíÆÉ who does nothing but bad things
Ëã íÊÓÇÆá áãÇÐÇ ÊÈÏæ ÍíÇÊå ãÑíÚÉ¿ And then wonders why his life sucks?
ÍÓäÇ¡ Ðáß ßÇä ÇäÇ Well, that was me.
ßá ãÑÉ ÔíÁ ÌíÏ Every time somethin' good
íÍÕá áí happened to me,
ÝÇä ÔíÁ ÓíÆÇð ÏÇÆãÇ somethin' bad was always
íäÊÙÑäí ÈÇáÌæÇÑ waitin' around the corner.
ßÇÑãÇ karma.
ßÇä Ðáß ÚäÏãÇ ÇÏÑßÊ That when I realized
ÈÇä Úáí Çä ÇÊÛíÑ I had to change.
áÐÇ¡ ÞãÊ ÈÚãá ÞÇÆãÉ So, I made a list of
áÌãíÚ ÇáÇÔíÇÁ ÇáÓíÆÉ ÇáÊí ÝÚáÊåÇ everything bad I've ever done
ææÇÍÏ ÈÚÏ ÇáÇÎÑ¡ ÓæÝ ÇÞæã and, one by one, I'm gonna
ÈÇáÊÚæíÖ áÌãíÚ ÇÎØÇÆí make up for all my mistakes.
ÇäÇ ÝÞØ ÇÍÇæá Çä Çßæä ÔÎÕÇ ÇÝÖá I'm just tryin' to be a better person.
ãÇÈÇá åÐå ÇáÈÇáæäÇÊ¿ What's with all the balloons?
ÍÓäÇð¡ áÞÏ ßäÊ Âãá ãäåã Çä Well, I was hoping they might
íÓÇÚÏæäí ááÎÑæÌ ãä ÇáãÔÇßá help me get out of trouble.
ÇÊÑì¡ ãÄÎÑÇð You see, recently,
ßÇä íÌÈ Úáí ÇÖÇÝÉ Ôí I had to add something
ÓíÁ ÝÚáÊå Çáì ÞÇÆãÊí bad I did to my list.
áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ßÈíÑÉ It was a big one.
ÑÞã 261 Number 261.
áÞÏ ÈÏÃÊ ãÚ ÇáÈÑíÏ It all started with the mail.
ÔßÑÇð æíáí Thanks, willie.
áÞÏ ÍÕáÊ Úáì ÔíÁ ÑÇäÏí You got something, randy.
áãÇÐÇ ÊÊßáã ÇáÝáæÊ¿ Why does the flute talk?
åá åæ ÓÇÍÑ¿ Is he magic?
åá åæ ÔÈÍ ÇáÝáæÊÉ ÇáãíÊÉ¿ Is he the ghost of a dead flute?
íÓÑäÇ ÏÚæÊß ÈãæÏÉ "You are cordially invited
áÍÝá ÒæÇÌ Ìæí æÏÇÑäíá to joy and darnell's wedding."
Ìæí ÓÊÊÒæÌ¿ Joy's getting married?
ÇÊÓÇÆá ÇÐÇ ßÇä æíáí ÇáÞì I wonder if willie dropped my
ÏÚæÊí Ýí ãæÞÝ ÇáÓíÇÑÇÊ invitation in the parking lot.
áÇ ÇÚÊÞÏ Ðáß I don't think so.
ÇáÑÓÇáÉ ÊÞæá "ÑÇäÏí åíßí... This says "randy hickey,
æÇáÌãíÚ ãÇÚÏÇ ÇíÑá plus anyone but earl."
ÃÎæ ÇáãÏÚæ For the reception,
ßíÝ ÇÞæã ÈØáÈ ÏÌÇÌÊí¿ how should I have my chicken?
ãÔæíÉ Ãã ãßäæÞÇíÊÏ Grilled or mcnuggeted.
Ãæå¡ íÇÑÌá¡ áÞÏ ßäÊ Âãá Çä Çßæä ãÏÚæÇð Oh, man, I wish I was invited;
ÇäÇ ÇÍÈ ÇáÏÌÇÌ I love chicken.
ÞÏ íßæä åäÇß ßÚß ÇíÖÇð Probably gonna be cake, too.
ÇäÇ ÇÍÈ ÍÝáÇÊ ÇáÒæÇÌ... ÇáØÚÇã I love weddings-- the food,
ÇáßÚß¡ ÇáÑÞÕ the cake, the dancing.
æææ Woo!
åá ÊÑíÏíä Çä Êßæäí You want to be my
ÑÝíÞÊí ãÇÚÏÇ ÇíÑá¿ plus-anyone-but-earl?
ÍÓäÇð Okay.
ãÇåæ ÇáãæÚÏ¿ When is it?
ÇáÇÑÈÚÇÁ ÇáÞÇÏã Next wednesday.
ÇáÇÑÈÚÇÁ ÇáÞÇÏã¿ Next wednesday?
íÇÑÌá¡ Êáß ÇáãÑÃÉ áä ÊÊæÞÝ Man, that woman never stops,
åá ÊÝÚá¿ does she?
ÇÐÇ ÞãÊ ÈÊÝÍÕ ãÇß äÞíÊíÏ If I check mcnuggeted,
åá ÊÚÊÞÏíä ÈÇäåã ÓíÏÚæääí ÇãÊáß... you think they'll let me have
äæÚíä ãÎÊáÝíä ãä ÕáÕáÉ ÇáÛãÓ two different dipping sauces?
ÇäÇ ÇÍÈ ÇáÎÑÏá ÇáÍÇÑ ãä Ãæá áÞãÉ I like hot mustard for the first bite,
áßäí ÇÍÈ Çä ÇáÍÞåÇ ÈÜ... but I like to chase it with a
ÇáÞáíá ãä ÇáÚÓá ãä ÇááÞãÉ ÇáËÇäíÉ little honey on the second bite.
ÇÊÚáãíä¡ ÇäåÇ ÊÈÏæ ßÍÕæáß Úáì æÌÈÉ ÕÛíÑÉ You know, it's like having a small meal
ãÊÈæÚÉ ÈÍáæì ÕÛíÑÉ ßá 10 Çáì 15 ËÇäíÉ followed by a tiny dessert every 10 to 15 seconds.
íÌÈ ÚáíäÇ ÇáÊÍÏË We need to talk.
ÃööÔÔ! ÇäÇ ÇÍÇæá Úãá ÔÑíØ ãäæÚÇÊ ááÒæÇÌ Shh! I'm trying to make a mix tape for the wedding.
ÈÇäÊÙÇÑåã áßí íáÈæÇ ØáÈí Waiting for 'em to play my request.
åá íÌÈ Úáíß ÇáÒæÇÌ ÇáÇÑÈÚÇÁ ÇáÞÇÏã... íæã ÚíÏ ãæáÏí¿ You had to get married next wednesday, on my birthday?
åá ÇáÇÑÈÚÇÁ ÇáÞÇÏã åæ íæã ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏß¿ Is next wednesday your birthday?
åÇå¡ áã Ãßä ÃÚáã Ðáß Huh, I did not know that.
ÇÐÇ... áãÇÐÇ ÞãÊ ÈÏÚæÉ ÌãíÚ ÇÕÏÞÇÆí¿ Then why'd you invite all my friends?
ÊÚáãíä ÈÇääí ÓÃÞíã ÍÝáÉ Ýí ÍÇäÉ ÇáÓÑØÇä You know I have a party at the crab shack
Ýí íæã ÚíÏ ãæáÏí... ÚÇÒÝ ÇáÏí Ìí ÑÇÈ on my birthday-- dj dave raps,
æåí ãÑÉ æÇÍÏÉ ÈÇáÓäÉ and it's the one time a year
áÞÏ ÔÑÈÊ ßÝÇíÊí áßí ÃÑÞÕ i get drunk enough to break dance.
ÇÝÚáåÇ ÇíÑá¡ ÇÝÚáåÇ ÇíÑá Go earl, go earl.
Çäå ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏß it's your birthday,
Çäå ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏß it's your birthday.
ÇÝÚáåÇ ÇíÑá¡ ÇÝÚáåÇ ÇíÑá¡ ÇÝÚáåÇ ÇíÑá Go earl, go earl, go earl.
ÍÓäÇð¡ íÊæÌÈ Úáíß Ãä ÊÝÚá ÍÑßÉ ÇáÏæÏÉ áæÍÏß Well, you're gonna have to do the worm all by your lonesome,
áÃä ãæÒÚ ÇáÏíÌí ÓíÊæáì ÒæÇÌí 'cause dj dave's doing my wedding.
áÞÏ ÃÚØíÊå 20 ÏæáÇÑ ßåÏíÉ I gave him a $20 gift certificate
áíÔåÏ áÈÇÊí ãæãÓ ÇáäåÇÑ for patty the daytime hooker.
ãÑÍÈÇ ÇíÑá Hey, earl.
åá ÓÊÍÖÑ ÇáÒæÇÌ¿ Coming to the wedding?
áÇíÓÊØíÚ¡ Çäå íæã ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏå He can't, it's his birthday.
ÍÓäÇð¡ áÇÈÃÓ Well, that's okay.
ãÇÒÇá íÓÊØíÚ ÇáÇÍÜ... He can still cele...
ÏÇÑäíá¡ áã ÃÞã ÈÌÑ darnell, I did not drag
ÓÑíÑ Çáäæã ÇáãÇÆí ØæÇá ÇáØÑíÞ ãä ÓæÞ ÇáÈÑÇÛíË that waterbed all the way from the flea market
áßí íÌáÓ åäÇß ÝÇÑÛÇð so it could sit there empty.
ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏ ÓÚíÏ¡ ÇíÑá Happy birthday, earl.
ÔßÑÇð¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Thanks, crab man.
æåÐÇ æÇÍÏ ÐÇåÈ Çáì Ìæí æÏÇÑäíá Here's one going out to joy and darnell.
íÑÞÕ ááãÑÉ ÇáÇæáì Dancing for the first time
ßÇáÓíÏ æÇáÓíÏÉ ÊíÑäÑ as mr. And mrs. Turner.
ÇááÚäÉ¡ ÇíÑá¡ áÞÏ ÌÚáÊäí ÇÝæÊ ãÞÏãÊí Damn it, earl, you made me miss my intro!
ÞÇá ÑÇäÏí ÈÇäå ÓíÈÞì randy said he would stay
ãÚí Ýí ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏí with me on my birthday,
áßäí ÇÚÑÝ ãÏì ÑÛÈÊå but I knew how much he wanted
Ýí ÇáÑÞÕ ãÚ ßÇÊÇáíäÇ to dance with catalina,
áÐÇ ÇÕÑíÊ Úáíå Çä íÐåÈ so I insisted that he go
Çáì ÇáÒæÇÌ to the wedding.
áÃäåÇ áÇÊáíÞ ÈÇáÐåÇÈ Since it's tacky to go
Çáì ÇáÒæÇÌ ÈÏæä åÏíÉ to a wedding without a gift,
ÃÎÐÊ ÑÇäÏí Çáì ÇáÓæÞ I took randy shopping.
ãä Èíä ßá ÇáÇÓæÇÞ Among other places,
Ìæí ßÇäÊ ãÔÊÑßÉ Èå joy was registered
Çáì ãÊÌÑ ÇáÔÑÇÈ ÇáãÍáí at the local liquor store.
ãÇ ÑÃíß ÈÇáÊÇßíáÇ¿ How 'bout tequila?
ÏåäÇ äÑì... ÊÇßíáÇ Let's see... tequila...
ÊÑíÏ ÚÔÑÉ¡ ÊÃÎÐ ÚÔÑÉ (ÛíÑ ãÎÝÖÉ). áÇ need ten, got ten. Nope.
Âå¡ íÇÑÌá Ah, man,
ÌãíÚ ÇáÈÖÇÚÉ ÇáÌíÏÉ ÇäÊåÊ all the good stuff's taken.
ÈíÑÉ ÎÝíÝÉ¿ Light beer?
ÈíÑÉ ÎÝíÝÉ Light beer.
Ãæå¡ ÊÑíÏ 336¡ ÊÃÎÐ 324. ÇÌáÈåÇ Uh, need 336, got 324.Grab it!
Ìæí æÏÇÑäíá áã íßæäæÇ ãÊÏíäíä Joy and darnell weren't very religious
æáã íÓÊØíÚæÇ ÇÓÊÆÌÇÑ ÞÇÚÉ ÇÍÊÝÇáÇÊ and they couldn't afford to rent out a hall,
áÐÇ ÊÒæÌæÇ Ýí ÇáÍÏíÞÉ so they got married at the park.
ÃÑÇÏÊ Ìæí ÇáÊÃßÏ Joy wanted to make sure
ãä ÍÕæáåÇ Úáì ÇÝÖá ÈÞÚÉ ãÖááÉ they got a nice shady spot,
áÐÇ ÞÇãÊ ÈÇÑÓÇá ÏÇÑäíá Çáì åäÇß so she sent darnell over there,
ãÈßÑÇð Ýí ÇáÕÈÇÍ first thing in the morning.
ÇÓÝ¡ åÐå ÇáãäØÞÉ ãÍÌæÒÉ Sorry, this area's saved.
ÇÑÃíÊ¡ ßÇä íÌÈ ÌáÈ ãåÑÌ See that, we should've gotten a clown.
äÚã¡ áÞÏ ßÇä íæãÇð ÌãíáÇð Yep, it was a beautiful day.
ÇÐÇ áã Êßä ãä ãÞÇØÚÉ ÇáÚÑÖíÉ If it wasn't for the occasional interruption
ãä ÞÈá áÚÈÉ ßÑÉ ÇáÞÏã ÇáÞÑíÈÉ from a nearby soccer game,
ßÇäÊ ÓÊßæä ÑÇÆÚÉ it would have been perfect.
ßãÇ æÕá ÇáÌãíÚ As everyone arrived,
æÕíÝÉ Ìæí ßÇäÊ ÊÞæã ÈÊÌãíáåÇ joy's bridesmaids were making her pretty.
æÇÇæ Woo!
åÐÇ ÇáÔíÁ ÌÚáäí ÇÊÚÑÞ ãËá ãæãÓ Ýí ßäíÓÉ This thing's making me sweat like a whore in church.
ÈáÇ ÅÓÇÆÉ ÈÇÊí No offense, patty.
áÇ ÈÃÓ None taken.
ÇäÇ áÇ ÃÐåÈ Çáì ÇáßäíÓÉ I don't go to church.
åá áÏì ÇÍÏßã ãÒíá ááÑæÇÆÍ¿ Anybody got deodorant?
Ãæå¡ áÏì ÇáÊæíÏ ææÇÞíÇÊ ÐßÑíÉ Oh, I got altoids and condoms.
åÐå ãÚØÑÉ These are scented.
ÇäÇ áÇ ÃÑíÏ ãÓÍ ãÄÎÑÉ ØÝáß I don't want your baby's butt wipes.
ÓÂÎÐ ÇÍÏ åÐå ßÇÑÇ I'll take one of those, kara.
Ìæí¡ Çæå¡ íÇáåí¡ ÇäÙÑí Çáíß joy, oh, my god, look at you!
ÇäÙÑí Çáíß Look at you!
Çæå¡ ÇäÊ ÌãíáÉ ÌÏÇð Oh, you are so beautiful!
ÇÎí íÍÈß ßËíÑÇ My brother loves you so much,
æÇäÇ ÇÍÈß ßËíÑÇ and I love you so much.
ÍÓäÇ... ÍÓäÇ Okay, okay.
ÇäÊåì ÇáæÞÊ¡ ÏÇäíÔÇ Time out, danisha.
ÇäÊåì ÇáæÞÊ ÏÇäíÔÇ Time out, danisha.
ÇäÊ... áÞÏ ÇÕÈÍÊ You're... you're getting
íÊÃáÞ Úáì æÌåí boob glitter all over my face.
åá¡ åá ÊÔÚÑíä¡ åá ÊÔÚÑíä Do, do you feel, do you feel
ßÃäß ÊÛäíä"ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏ ÓÚíÏ"¿ like singing "happy birthday"?
åÇå¿ Huh?
åíÇ Come on.
åÇ... Ha...
åÇ... ha...
íÇÊí áÇÍÞÇð¡ ãÇåæ ÓÑ Coming up next, what secret
ÊæÑØ ÇáÚãÇá Ýí involving day laborers is
ÓÑÞÉ ÓßäÇíÏÑ æãÍÇæáÉ ÇáÇÎÊÈÇÁ¿ rob schneider trying to hide?
æÝáã ÇáãäÒá And home movies
áÚÔÇÁ ÚíÏ ÇáÔßÑ of thanksgiving dinner
ãÚ ÈÑæÓ¡ Ïíãí with bruce, demi,
ÂÔÊæä æÇáÇØÝÇá ashton and the kids.
åá ÊÓÊØíÚ Þæá¡ ÇÚÈÑ ÇáãÑæÚ¿ Can you say, pass the creepy?
åá ÓãÚÊ åÐÇ¡ æíáí¿ Did you hear that, willie?
ÚíÏ ÇáÔßÑ ãÚÇð Thanksgiving together.
åÐÇ¡ åÐÇ¡ åÐÇ ÑÇÆÚ That, that, that's sweet.
åá ãä Çáããßä Çä ÇÍÕá Úáì Now why can't I have a
ÚáÇÞÉ ãËá åÐå ãÚ ÒæÌÊí ÇáÓÇÈÞÉ¡ åÇå¿ relationship like that with my ex-wife, huh?
áÇÈÏ Çä Ìæí ÇáãÓßíäÉ ãÓÊÇÆÉ Çáíæã Poor joy is probably all upset today,
áÇäåÇ ÊÚÊÞÏ ÈÇäí ÛÇÖÈ áÇäåÇ áã ÊÏÚäí 'cause she thinks I'm mad she didn't invite me.
ÇäÇ áÓÊ ÛÇÖÈ ãäåÇ¡ áÇ¡ áÇ ÓíÏí I'm not angry at her, no, no, sir.
ÇäÇ ÇÑíÏ Çä Çßæä ÕÏíÞÇð I want to be friends.
ÇäÇ ÇÑíÏ Çä Çßæä ÇáÜ I want to be the
ÈÑæÓ áÏíãí bruce to her demi.
äÚã Yeah.
ÈÇáäÙÑ ÇáíåÇ ÇáÂä Looking back on it now,
ÇäÇ ÇÚáã ÈÇäåÇ ßÇäÊ ÛáØÉ I know it was a mistake
ÈÐåÇÈí Çáì ÇáÍÏíÞÉ making my way down to the park.
Ïã Ïã Ïí Ïã Dum dum dee dum
Ïã Ïã Ïí Ïã dum dum dee dum
Ïã Ïã Ïí Ïã dum dum dee dum...
Ïæ du...
åí¡ ÚÇÒÝ ÇáÏí Ìí Hey, dj dave.
ãÑÍÈÇ íÇÑÝÇÞ Hey, folks!
ãÚÙãßã íÇÔÈÇÈ íÚÑÝäí Most of you guys know me.
áßä ÇäÇ ÇíÑá But I'm earl.
ÇíÑá åíßí Earl hickey.
ØáíÞ Ìæí Joy's ex-husband.
åí¡ ÇÈÞåÇ Úáì ÇáÇÑÖ Hey, keep it on the field!
íæÌÏ åäÇ ÍÝá ÒæÇÌ There's a wedding going on over here!
åí¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä¡ ÈÏáÉ ÑÇÆÚÉ Hey, crab man, cool tux.
ÔßÑÇ ÇíÑá Thanks, earl.
ãä åí ÇáãÑÃÉ ÇáÌãíáÉ ãÚß¿ Who's that pretty lady with you?
åÐå Ããí That's my moms.
ãÑÍÈÇ Ãã ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Hey, crab man's moms.
ãÑÍÈÇ ÇíÑá Hey, earl.
ÇíÑá ÇÚØ ÇáÚÇÒÝ Earl give dj dave
ÇáãßÑÝæä ÑÌÇÁð the microphone, please!
ÇÊÑæä ÇäåÇ ÛÇÖÈÉ See, she's mad.
åÐÇ ÓÈÈ æÌæÏí åäÇ That's why I'm here.
ÇäÇ áÇ ÃÑíÏ Çä äßæä åßÐÇ I don't want us to be like this.
Ìæí¡ ÇäÇ áÇ ÃåÊã ÈÇäß Joy, I don't care that you
ÎØØÊ áåÐÇ Ýí íæã ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏí planned this on my birthday.
Çáíæã åæ ÚíÏ ãíáÇÏí It's my birthday, today.
Ýí ÇáÍÞíÞÉ In fact,
áÚáå ÝÞØ ÓÑíÚ ÝÚáÇð maybe just real quick...
åÇ... ha...
ÇíÑá earl!
Ãæå¡ åÐÇ ÑÇÆÚ Oh, that's cool.
Çáíæã åæ áß Today is for you.
ãÇåæ ÇáÌÒÁ ÇáÐí áÇ ÊÝåãå ãä ÍÝá ÇáÒæÇÌ¿ What part of wedding don't you understand?!
íæÌÏ åäÇ ÇãÑÃÉ ÊÑíÏ ÇáÒæÇÌ There's a woman getting married
æÇäÊ ÓÊÞæã ÈÊÎÑíÈå and you're gonna ruin it!
æåäÇ ÌÇÁÊ ÑÞã 261 and there it was, number 261,
ÊÎÑíÈ ÒæÇÌ Ìæí "ruined joy's wedding".
ÇáÐåÇÈ ÈÇÊÌÇå Ìæí driving over to joy's,
ßá ãÇßäÊ ÇÝßÑ Ýíå all I could think about
åæ ÊÎÑíÈí áÒæÇÌåÇ was how I ruined her wedding.
ßäÊ ÇÚáã ÈÇäåÇ ßÇäÊ ãÓÊÇÆÉ I knew she was gonna be upset,
áßä ÇÚÊÞÏ ÈÇääí ÊæÞÚÊ but I guess I expected
ÕÑÇÎ ÇßËÑ ãä ÇáÈÕÞ more yelling then spitting.
ÇáÍÞíÞÉ åí Çääí áã Truth is, I'd never
ÇÑåÇ åßÐÇ ãä ÞÈá seen her like this before.
ÇäÇ ÇÓÝ ÌÏÇ Ìæí I'm so sorry, joy.
ãåãÇ íßä Whatever.
áÇ ÊÌåÏ äÝÓß¡ ÇíÑá Don't beat yourself up, earl.
ßÇä ÈÇáÇãßÇä Çä íÍÕá áÇí ÔÎÕ It could've happened to anyone.
ßÑÉ ÇáÞÏã ÕÚÈÉ ÇáÊäÈÆ ÈÇáÑÝÓ Soccer balls are hard to punt.
ÇäÙÑí¡ áÞÏ ÝßÑÊ ÈÐáß Look, I've thought about it,
æÇáØÑíÞÉ ÇáæÍíÏÉ ÇáÊí íãßä Çä ÇÚæÖ ÈåÇ and the only way i can make up for this
åí ÈÇÚØÇÆß ÍÝá ÒæÇÌ ÌÏíÏ is to give you a new wedding.
ÇäÇ áÇ ÃÑíÏ ÒæÇÌ ÌÏíÏ I don't want a new wedding.
ÓæÝ äÐåÈ Çáì ÇáßäíÓÉ We'll just go down to the courthouse
æÓæÝ äÊÒæÌ Çæ Çí ÔíÁ and get married or something.
áÇ ÊÓÊØíÚ You can'T.
ÇäÙÑí¡ ÇäåÇ Úáì ÞÇÆãÊí Look, it's on my list,
íÌÈ Úáì ÝÚá Ðáß I have to do this.
ÇáÇä¡ åíÇ¡ ÓÇÝÚá Çí ÔíÁ ÊÑíÏíäå Now, come on, I'll do anything you want.
ÓÊßæä ÇÝÖá ãä ÇáãÑÉ ÇáÇÎíÑÉ¡ ÇÚÏß ÈÐáß It'll be better than the last one, I promise.
ÏÚäí áæÍÏí ÝÞØ Just leave me alone.
Âå¡ åÐÇ áíÓ ÍÞÏÇ ÔÏíÏÇð Ah, that's not a bad berserker score.
äÚã¡ ÈÇáÊÃßíÏ ÓæÝ Yeah, it's definitely gonna
ÊÌÚá ÇáÍÇÆØ íÔÊåÑ make the wall of fame.
áÞÏ ÞÑÑÊ ÈÇääí ÓæÝ I decided I was gonna
ÃÚÏ ÍÝá ÒæÇÌ ÌÏíÏ áÌæí plan joy a new wedding,
ÓæÇÁ ÇÑÇÏÊ Ðáß Ãã áÇ whether she wanted it or not.
ãÑÍÈÇ ÇíÑá¡åá ÊÑíÏ ßÊÇÈÉ Hey, earl, want to go write
ÇÛÓáäí Úáì ÇáÓíÇÑÉ ÇáãÊÓÎÉ "wash me" on dirty cars?
áÞÏ ÚãáÊåÇ Úáì ÓíÇÑÊäÇ I already did ours.
ÇæÏ Ðáß ÑÇäÏí¡ áßäí ãÔÛæá I'd love to, randy, but I'm busy
ÈÞÑÇÁÉ ßÊÇÈ ÎíÇÑÇÊ ÛíÑ ÊÞáíÏíÉ reading about nontraditional options
ááÇÔÈíäíÇÊ áÈæ ßíÊÒ for bridesmaids' boo-kets.
áãÇÐÇ¿ áÞÏ ÞÇáÊ ÈÇäåÇ áÇÊÑíÏ ÍÝá ÂÎÑ Why? She said she didn't want another wedding.
ÑÇäÏí¡ ÇäåÇ Öãä ÞÇÆãÊí ÇáÇä Randy, it's on my list now.
ÈÌÇäÈ¡ ÇäåÇ ÚäÏãÇ ÊÑì ãÇÝÚáÊå áåÇ Besides, once she sees how much work I'm doing,
ÞÏ ÊÑÛÈ Ýí ÌÚáí ÇÍÖÑ ÇíÖÇ she may even want me to come.
äÓÊØíÚ ÌãíÚÇ ÇáÊæÞÝ Úä åÐÇ ÇáÚÑÇß We could stop all this fighting
æäÊÕÇáÍ ÇÎíÑÇð and finally get along.
æßá åÐÇ ÇáÔíÁ ßÑÉ ÇáÞÏã This whole soccer ball thing
ÞÏ íßæä ãÈÇÑßÇ ÈÇáÎÝÇÁ could be a blessing in disguise.
ãËá Ðáß ÇáÔÎÕ ÇáÐí ØÑÏ ãä ÝÇä åÇáíä Like when that guy got kicked out of van halen
áÅÑÊÏÇÆå ÇáÓÑÇæíá ÈÔßá ÛÈí for wearing them stupid pants,
áßäå ÇÕÈÍ ÈÚÏ Ðáß ãÔåæÑÇð ÌÏÇð but then got even more famous?
ãÇÐÇ ßÇä ÇÓãå¿ What was his name?
ÊÃßÏ ÝÞØ ãä ÍÕæáß Úáì ÇÛÇäí ÌíÏÉ Just make sure you got good music.
äÚã¡äÚã ÇáãæÓíÞì ãåãÉ Yeah, yeah, music's important.
ÇáãæÓíÞì ßÇäÊ ãåãÉ Music was important.
áÐÇ ÊæÞÝÊ ÚäÏ ãÍá ÇáÊÓÌíá So I made sure I stopped by the record store
ÞÈá Çä ÇÒæÑ Ìæí ãÑÉ ÇÎÑì before paying joy another visit.
áÞÏ ÇÈÊÚÊ áß ÈÚÖ ÇáÇÞÑÇÕ ÇáãÏãÌÉ ááÚÇÒÝ ÏÇÝ I bought you some cds for dj dave,
æáä ÊÍÊÇÌí Çáì Úãá ÔÑíØ åÐå ÇáãÑÉ so you don't have to make a mix tape this time.
æáÞÏ æÌÏÊ ÈÚÖ ÇáÇÝßÇÑ And I found some really good
ÇáÌíÏÉ ÝÚáÇ Ýí ãÌáÉ ÇáÚÑæÓ ideas in a bride magazine
áÚãá ÍÝá ÒæÇÌ ÌíÏ ÈØÑíÞÉ ÛíÑ ãßáÝÉ for inexpensive ways to make colorful centerpieces.
ÞÈá ËáÇË ÓÇÚÇÊ¡ áÞÏ ßÇäÊ Êáß ÞÇÑæÑÉ 2 áÊÑ Three hours ago, that was a two-liter bottle
ãä ÇáÕæÏÇ æ 25 ÓäÊÇð ÊßáÝÉ ÇæÑÇÞ ÇáÏíßæÑ of soda and 25 cents worth of decorative paper.
ÇäåÇ ÑÇÆÚÉ It's beautiful.
ÇÓÊØíÚ Úãá ãÇÔÆÊ ãäåÇ I can make as many as you want.
ÇááíáÉ ÇáÝÇÆÊÉ¡ ÑÇäÏí ÇÓÊÑÌÚ ãÇíÞÇÑÈ 20 ãÑÉ Last night, randy emptied out about 20 of them.
åá áÏíß æÍæÔ ÇáÑÇÈ¿ You got monsters of rap?
äÚã¡ æÈÓÚÑ ÌíÏ Yep, at the nice price.
áÏí æÍæÔ ÇáÑæß ÇíÖÇð I got monsters of rock, too,
ãÚ äÓÎÉ ÇÖÇÝíÉ áÊÔíÑí ÈÇí ßãÇ ÊÍÈåÇ with the extended version of "cherry pie" like you like.
åÇ! Ha!
æåÇåí And there it was.
ááãÑÉ ÇáÇæáì For the first time in
ãäÐ æÞÊ Øæíá¡ ÇÈÊÓãÊ Ìæí áí a long time, joy smiled at me.
áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ÓÚíÏÉ She was happy.
æÝí ÇáÇÓÈæÚ ÇáÊÇáí¡ ßãÇ And over the next week, as we
ÎØØäÇ áåÇ ãä ÇÌá ÍÝá ÒæÇÌ ãßÊãá planned her perfect wedding,
ßÇäÊ ÇáÇÔíÇÁ ÊÊÍÓä things just kept getting better.
ÞãäÇ ÈÇÎÊíÇÑ ãßÇä ááÌáæÓ We picked out place settings...
åÐå ÇáÇØÈÇÞ ÌãíáÉ these plates are pretty.
Ãæå¡ áßä ÇäÙÑ¡ åÐå ÝíåÇ ãäÇÏíá ãØÇÈÞÉ Oh, but look, these have matching napkins.
Ãæå Oh!
"ãÊÚ ãÄÎÑÊß ÈÍÝáÉ" "Party your ass off."
æÇäÙÑ¡ Çáì ÇáÍÕÇä ÇáÕÛíÑ And look, the little horse
áÏíå ÞÈÚÉ Úáíå¡ åÐÇ ÑÇÆÚ has a top hat on.That's cute.
ÏÚäá äÍÕá ÚáíåÇ Let's get these.
ÍÊì Çääí æÌÏÊ ÊÎÝíÖÇÊ Úáì ãáÇÈÓ ÇáÒæÇÌ I even found a wedding dress sale
æÇáÊí ßÇäÊ ÛíÑ ãäÇÓÈÉ ááÈÓ ßÇäÊ ÌãíÚåÇ ÈÇÞá ãä 50 ÏæáÇÑ where irregular dresses were all under $50.
åÐå ãÖãæäÉ This one's guaranteed to have
ÝÞÏ ÇÓÊÎÏãÊ 8 ãÑÇÊ only been worn eight times.
äÚã¡ áßääí ÇÍÈ åÐå Yeah, but I like this one,
áÇäå ãÍÔæ¡ áÐÇ áÇ ÇÍÊÇÌ because it's lined, so I don't
Çáì ÇÑÊÏÇÁ ÓÑÇæíá ÏÇÎáíÉ¡ Çäå ÑÇÆÚ have to wear panties.It's perfect.
áßä íæÌÏ ÈÞÚÉ Úáíå But it's got a stain on it.
äÚã¡ áßääí ÓÃÞæã ÈÇÙåÇÑ ÇÈÏÇÚÇÊí Yeah, but that's where I'm gonna bedazzle my initials.
áÞÏ ßäÇ äÚãá ßÝÑíÞ We were working as a team.
áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ãËá ÇáÇíÇã ÇáÎæÇáí ÇáÞÏíãÉ It was like the good old days.
áÇÍÞÇð-- æáã Ãßä ãÊÃßÏÇð ãä ßíÝíÉ ÍÕæáåÇ-- Then-- and I'm not quite sure how it happened--
ÊØæÑÊ ÇáÇÔíÇÁ ÞáíáÇð ãËá ãá ßÇäÊ Ýí ÇáÇíÇã ÇáÎæÇáí things got a little too much like the good old days.
ÝØíÑÉ ÇáßÑÒ ÎÇÕÊí She's my cherry pie
ãÇÁ ÈÇÑÏ cool drink of water,
íÇáåÇ ãä ãÝÇÌÃÉ ÍáæÉ such a sweet surprise
ØÚãåÇ ÑÇÆÚ tastes so good,
ÊÌÚá ÇáÑÌá ÇáÈÇáÛ íÈßí make a grown man cry
ÝØíÑÉ ßÑÒ ÍáæÉ¡ äÚã sweet cherry pie, yeah
Ãæ! ÃÑÌÍåÇ ow! Swing it!
ÚäÏãÇ äåÖÊ As soon as I woke up,
ÇÏÑßÊ ÈÇä ÇÞÇãÉ ÚáÇÞÉ ãÚ Ìæí I realized that sleeping with joy
ÞÈá ËáÇËÉ ÇíÇã ãä ÒæÇÌåÇ three days before her wedding
ßÇä ÎØÃ ßÈíÑÇð was a huge mistake.
Ãæå¡ ÚÒíÒí¿ Uh, honey?
ÇÚÊÞÏ ÈÇäå íÌÈ Çä äÊÍÏË I think we should talk about
ÈÔÃä ãÇÍÕá ÇááíáÉ ÇáÝÇÆÊÉ what happened last night.
áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ãÌäæäÉ¡ áã Çßä ãÊÇßÏÇð It was so crazy, I'm not sure
Èá Çääí ÇÊÐßÑ i even remember.
Ëã ÊãäíÊ áæ ÇääÇ ÊÓæÞäÇ Then I wish we could trade.
áÞÏ ÊÐßÑÊ ßá ÔíÁ I remember everything.
ÚäÏãÇ ÐåÈÊ áßí ÇÊÍÏË Çáì Ìæí When I went over to talk to joy
Úä ÇááíáÉ ÇáÝÇÆÊÉ about the night before,
áã íßä íæÌÏ ÍÈ Ýí ÚíäíåÇ she no longer had love in her eyes.
áÏíß ÇáßËíÑ ãä ÇáÇÚÕÇÈ ÇáãáÚæäÉ You've got a lot of damn nerve
ÈÇÛæÇÆí åßÐÇ seducing me like that.
ÇÛæÇÆß¿ Seducing you?
äÚã¡ áÞÏ ÚáãÊ ÊãÇãÇ Yes. You knew exactly
ãÇÐÇ ßäÊ ÊÝÚá what you were doing.
ÈÇä Êßæä ØíÈÇð ãÚí¡ æÊÑÊÈ ÒæÇÌí Being all nice to me,planning my wedding,
æãÓÇÚÏÊí ÈÇÎÊíÇÑ helping me pick out my perfect
ÝÓÊÇä ÚÑÓ ÛíÑ áÇÆÞ irregular wedding dress.
ßíÝ ÊÌÑÄ How dare you.
ÊÚáã ÈÇääí ÇãÑÃÉ ÔÛæÝÉ You know I'm a passionate woman.
áÞÏ ßäÊ ØíÈÇ ãÚß ÍÊì äÓÊØíÚ I was just being nice so we could
ÇáÇÕØáÇÍ¡ ãËá ÈÑæÓ æÏíãí get along better.Like bruce and demi.
áã Ãßä ÇÚáã ÈÇääÇ ÓäÝÚáåÇ I didn't know we'd get along
ËáÇË ãÑÇÊ Ýí áíáÉ æÇÍÏÉ three times in one night.
äÚã¡ ÍÓäÇð¡ áÇäÓÊØíÚ ÇáÊÑÇÌÚ Yeah, well, we can't undo the humping
áÐÇ ÏÚäÇ ääÓì ÍÏæËåÇ ÊãÇãÇð so let's just forget it ever happened.
ÍÓäÇð¡ ÓæÝ ÇÎÈÑ ÏÇÑäíá æÓääÊåí ãä Ðáß Fine. I'll just tell darnell and we'll be done with it.
ãÇÐÇ¿! What?!
áÇÊÓÊØíÚ ÇÎÈÇÑ ÏÇÑäíá You can't tell darnell!
íÌÈ Úáí Ðáß I have to.
ÇäåÇ Úáì ÞÇÆãÊí ÇáÇä It's already on my list.
ÑÞã 262-- Number 262--
Çáäæã ãÚ ÎØíÈÉ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä "slept with crab man's fiancee."
ÇäÊÙÑ¡ ÇäÊÙÑ¡ ÇäÊÙÑ¡ ÇäÊÙÑ¡ ÇäÊÙÑ Wait, wait, wait,wait, wait.
ÇäÙÑ¡ ÇäÊ ÊÑíÏ Çä ÊÍÓä Look, you want to have a good
ÚáÇÞÊß ãÚí¡ ÇáíÓ ßÐáß¿ relationship with me, don't you?
ÇÞÕÏ¡ åÐÇ ÓÈÈ ÝÚá ßá åÐÇ¡ ÕÍíÍ¿ I mean, that's why you're doing all this, right?
ÍÓäÇ¡ äÚã Well, yeah.
ÇÐÇ íÊæÌÈ Úáíß ÇÈÞÇÁ Ýãß ÇáßÈíÑ ÇáãáíÁ ÈÇáÔÚÑ ãÛáÞ Then you need to keep your big, snitchy trap shut.
áÇäß áæ ÇÎÈÑÊå Because if you tell him,
áä ÇÓÇãÍß ÇÈÏÇð I will never forgive you.
ÈÌÇäÈ¡ ÇÊÚÊÞÏ ÈÇä ÈÑæÓ æÏíãí Besides, you think bruce and demi
áÇíäÇãæä ãÚ ÈÚÖåã æáÇ íÎÈÑæä ÂÔÊæä don't sleep together once in awhile and don't tell ashton?
ÑÌÇÁð Please.
ÇäÇ ÇÑíÏ Çä Çßæä æÏæÏÇ ãÚ Ìæí I did want to be friendly with joy,
æãäÐ Çä ÇÕÈÍÊ ÛíÑ ãÊÃßÏ ãä ÑÏÉ ÝÚá and since I'm not sure what good
ÏÇÑäíá ÇÐÇ ÇÎÈÑÊå telling darnell would do,
æÇÝÞÊ Úáì Çä ÇÈÞì ÕÇãÊÇð I agreed to keep quiet.
ÈÇáãÞÇÈá ÏÚÊäí Ìæí In return, joy invited me
ááæÌÈÉ ÇáãÚÇÏÉ to the rehearsal meal.
ÈãÇ Çä ËáÇËÉ ÇÔÎÇÕ Ýí ÍÝáÉ ÇáÒæÇÌ Since three people in the wedding party
áÏíåã ÍÙÑ ÊÌæá had court-mandated curfews,
æáíãÉ ÇáÚÔÇÁ ÇáãÚÇÏÉ the traditional rehearsal dinner
ÊÍæáÊ Çáì æáíãÉ ÛÏÇÁ ãÚÇÏÉ was switched to a rehearsal lunch.
åí¡ áÞÏ ÍÕá ÇáÌãíÚ Úáì ÇáÇÕÛÑ Hey, now I got everybody smalls,
áßä ÊÐßÑ¡ åäÇß ÇÚÇÏÉ ÊÚÈÆÉ ãÌÇäíÉ but remember,there's free refills.
ÇÐÇ ÝÇáÕÛíÑ ÇÕÈÍ ßÈíÑÇ So small is really a large
ãÚ ÇáÞáíá ãä ÇáãÔí ÇáÒÇÆÏ with a little extra walking.
æßÇÓÇ Ïí ÈÇÒÇ æÇáÚÇÈ And casa de pizza and games
ÇÕÈÍÊ ÇáÇÎÊíÇÑ ÇáãäÇÓÈ turned out to be the perfect choice,
áÇä ÇáÇØÝÇá æÌÏæÇ ãÇÌÚáåã ãÔÛæáíä 'cause the kids had something to keep them busy.
ÍÈíÈí sweetheart,
åÐÇ áÇ íÕÏÑ Çí ÕæÊ that's not making any sound.
ÑÌÇÁ¡ ÏÇÑäíá áÏíå ÔíÁ áíÞæáå Everybody,darnell has something he wants to say!
ÇÑÏÊ Çä ÇÞæá¡Çå I just wanted to say that, uh,
ÇäÇ ÑÌá ãÍÙæÙ ÌÏÇð I'm a very lucky man.
æÇÑÏÊ ÔßÑ ÇíÑá Úáì ãÓÇÚÏÊå áäÇ And I wanted to thank earl for helping us
æÊÑÊíÈ ÍÝá ÒæÇÌäÇ ÇáËÇäí¡ ÇäÊ ÕÏíÞ ÈÍÞ ÇíÑá plan our second wedding.You're a good friend, earl.
ÈÕÍÉ ÇíÑá To earl.
ßÇä Ðáß ÚäÏãÇ ÇäÕÏãÊ That's when it hit me.
áÇ ÇÓÊØíÚ ÇáßÐÈ Úáì ÏÇÑäíá I can't lie to darnell--
Ýåæ ÕÏíÞí he's my friend.
áÞÏ ÞÖíäÇ ÇæÞÇÊ ÑÇÆÚÉ We've had some good times.
åí¡ ÇíÑá Hey, earl.
åí¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Hey, crab man.
åí¡ ÇíÑá Hey, earl.
åí¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Hey, crab man.
åí ÇíÑá Hey, earl.
åí¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Hey, crab man.
åí ÇíÑá Hey, earl.
áä ÇÓÊØíÚ ßÊã ÇáÓÑ Úä ÏÇÑäíá I couldn't keep a secret from darnell.
ÈÌÇäÈ Çäå ßÇä Öãä ÞÇÆãÊí Besides, he was on my list.
íÌÈ Úáí ÇÎÈÇÑå I had to tell him.
ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Crab man...
áÞÏ ÝÚáÊ ÔíÆÇ ÓíÆÇ áÔÎÕ ÊÍÈå ÇäÊ I did something very bad with someone you love.
ÊÚÇá åäÇ áÏÞíÞÉ Come here for a second.
Ããí Mommy...
áíÓ ÇáÇä ÍÈíÈí not now, baby.
ÇÑíÏ ÞÖÇÁ ÍÇÌÊí I need to potty.
Çæå¡ íÇááå Oh, for god sakes,
áÞÏ ÇÎÊÑÊ Çáíæã áßí ÊÊæÞÝ Úä ÇáÊÛæØ Ýí ÓÑÇæáíß you pick today to stop going in your pants?
ÊÚÇá Come on.
íÌÈ Úáí ÇÎÈÇÑå I have to tell him.
Çæå¡ áÇÊÓÊØíÚ Oh, like h-e-double-l you do.
áÇ ÇÓÊØíÚ ÇáÚíÔ åßÐÇ Ìæí I can't live like this, joy.
Çäå áÇ íÚáã ÈÇääÇ ÇÞãäÇ ÚáÇÞÉ He doesn't know we h-a-d sex together.
Ãæå¡ åÐÇ ßáÇã ÊÇÝå Oh, that is b-u-double-l honkey.
ÇáÒæÇÌ ÇáãÈäí Úáì ÇáßÐÈ áÇíÏæã Marriages built on lies don't last.
ÇäÙÑí ÇáíäÇ Look at us.
áíÓ ÇáßÐÈ åæ ÇáÐí íÎÑÈ ÍíÇÉ ÇáäÇÓ It's not the lies that screw people up,
Èá åæ ãÚÑÝÉ ÇáÔíÁ it's the finding out.
ÇÈÞ Ýãß ãÛáÞÇ ÇíÑá You keep your mouth shut, earl.
íÌÈ Úáíå Çä íÚáã He needs to know.
ÍÓäÇð Fine,
áßä ÏÚäí ÇÎÈÑå ÈÐáß but let me tell him.
ÏÚäí ÇÝÚá åÐÇ Úáì ÇáÇÞá At least give me that.
ÇÚÊÞÏ ÈÇäåÇ ÝßÑÉ ÑÇÆÚÉ I think that's a good idea.
áÞÏ ÇäÊåíÊ I'm done.
ÓÇÚÏæäí Help.
ÇÈí ÇáÞÏíã Old daddy,
åá ÇäÊ åäÇ¿ are you there?
äÚã¡ ÇÈæß ÇáÞÏíã åäÇ Yeah, old daddy's here.
áÏí ÔíÁ ßí ÇÎÈÑß Èå I have something to tell you,
æáä íßæä ÓåáÇð Úáíß ÓãÇÚå and it's not going to be easy to hear.
Ãã¡ áßä ÇÑíÏß Çä ÊÚÏäí Um, but I need you to promise me
ÈÇäß áä ÊÝÚá ÔíÆÇð that you're not going to make a scene.
ßÃä Êßæä ÇáãÑÃÉ Ìæí ÇáÕÛíÑÉ ÇáÌÈÇäÉ Being the sneaky little woman joy is,
ÝÞÏ ÝßÑÊ ÈÇä ÊÚØí äÝÓåÇ ãÍÇæáÉ she thought she would take one last shot
æåí ÈÚÏã ÇÎÈÇÑ ÇáÍÞíÞÉ at not telling the truth.
áÞÏ äÇã ÇíÑá ãÚ Çãß Earl slept with your mother.
áÓæÁ ÇáÍÙ Unfortunately,
áã íÓÊØÚ ÊãÇáß äÝÓå ãä Úãá ÔíÁ he couldn't help himself from making a scene.
ÊÚÇá ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Come on, crab man,
ÇäÊ ÊÚáã ßíÝ åí you know how she is.
áÇ ÊÓÊØíÚ Çä ÊÊÝÇÌÃ ÈåÐÇ ÇáÔßá You can't be that surprised.
ÇäåÇ áíÓÊ ßÃäåÇ ÇáãÑÉ ÇáÇæáì It's not like this is the first time
áÞÏ ÍÏËÊ ÏÇÆãÇð it's ever happened.
áÞÏ ÝÚáäÇåÇ ÏÇÆãÇð We used to do it all the time.
åíÇ¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Come on, crab man,
ÇäÇ áã ÇÛÖÈ ÚäÏãá ÇÞãÊ ÇäÊ ÚáÇÞÉ ãÚåÇ I didn't get mad when you slept with her.
ÇÓÍÈ ßáÇãß You take that back.
ÇäÇ áã ÇÞã ÇÈÏÇ ÚáÇÞÉ ãÚ Çãí I've never had sexual relations with my moms.
Ããß¿ Your moms?
ÇäÇ áã ÇÞã ÚáÇÞÉ ãÚ Çãß I didn't sleep with your moms.
áÞÏ ÇÞãÊ ÚáÇÞÉ ãÚ Ìæí I slept with joy.
íÇÈä ÇáÓÇÝáÉ¡ áÞÏ ÛØÊ Úáì äÝÓåÇ You son of a bitch!I had this covered!
ÏÇÑäíá Darnell...
ßÑÇÈ ãÇä¿ crab man?
ãÑÍÈÇ ÕÏíÞí Hey, buddy.
ãÑÍÈÇ Hey.
ÇäÙÑ¡ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä¡ áÞÏ ßÇäÊ Look, crab man, this was
ãÕÇÏÝÉ ÈÍÊå totally an accident.
áæ ÈÇãßÇäí Çä ÇÑÌÚ Çáì ÇáæÑÇÁ æÇÛíÑ ãÇÍÕá If I could go back and change what happened...
ÇäÇ áÓÊ ÈÛÖÈÇä I'm not mad, earl.
ßãÇ ÞáÊ¡ áÞÏ ÝÚáÊ Like you said, I did
äÝÓ ÇáÔíÁ ãÚß the same thing to you
ÚäÏãÇ ßäÊ ãÊÒæÌÇ ÈåÇ when you were married to her.
äÚã¡áßäåÇ áíÓÊ ÛáØÊß Yeah, but that's not your fault.
ÇäåÇ áíÓÊ ÛáØÊäÇ Úáì ÇáÇØáÇÞ It's not our fault at all.
ÇäåÇ ÛáØÊåÇ It's her.
ÇäåÇ ÇãÑÃÉ ãÔÇßÓÉ She's a vixen.
ÇáíÓÊ åÐÇ ÇÍÏ ÍíæÇäÇÊ ÇáÑäÉ áÓÇäÊÇ Isn't that one of santa's reindeers?
äÚã¡ æÇÚÊÞÏ ÈÇäåÇ ÇíÖÇð ãËá¡ÇåÇ Yeah, but I think it's also like, uh...
ÇåÇ... ãËá ÇãÑÃÉ¡ ÇåÇ uh... like a woman who's, uh...
ÊÚáã¡ áíÓÊ ÈÛí¡ áßä¡ ÇåÇ you know, not a whore,but, uh...
ãËá ÇáãÑÃÉ ÇáãËíÑÉ ¡ ÇåÇ kind of like a sexy, uh...
ÇäÇ áÓÊ ãÊÃßÏÇð ãäåÇ I'm not sure what it is.
ÇäÙÑ¡ ÇäÇ ÇÚáã ãÇáÐí ßÇäÊ Úáíå Ìæí Look, I know who joy used to be.
áÞÏ ÇÚÊÞÏÊ ÈÇäåÇ ÓæÝ ÊÊÛíÑ I just thought she'd changed.
áÞÏ ÇÚÊÞÏÊ ÈÇäåÇ ÇÍÈÊäí I thought she loved me.
ÇäåÇ ÊÍÈß She does.
ÇäåÇ ÊÍÈß ÈÇáÝÚá She does love you.
ÚäÏãÇ ÇÎÈÑÊåÇ ÈÇääí ÓæÝ When I told her I was going
ÇÎÈÑß ÈãÇ ÍÏË to tell you what happened
ÑÃíÊ ÇáÐÚÑ Úáì æÌååÇ i saw a look of panic on her face
áã ÃÑå ãä ÞÈá i've never seen before.
áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ÎÇÆÝÉ ãä ÎÓÇÑÊß She was scared of losing you.
áÞÏ ßÇäÊ ÎÇÆÝÉ¿ Ìæí¿ She was scared? Joy?
ÊÑÊÚÈ Terrified.
æáã ÇÑì Êáß ÇáãÑÃÉ And I've never seen that woman
ÎÇÆÝÉ ãä ÎÓÇÑÉ ÔíÁ scared of losing anything.
åÐå åí ÇáÍÞíÞÉ That was the truth.
áÞÏ ßäÊ ÇÚáã ÈÇä Ìæí ÇÍÈÊ ãÑÇÈ ãÇä I knew joy loved crab man
ÇßËÑ ãä ÍÈåÇ áÃí ÔÎÕ ÇÎÑ more than she's ever loved anyone.
æÇÍÈåÇ ßÑÇÈ ãÇä Ýí ÇáãÞÇÈá And crab man loved her right back.
ÇäÇ ÇÑíÏ Çä ÇÍÈß I wanna love you
æÇÚÇãáß ÈáØÝ and treat you right
ÇÑíÏ Çä ÇÍÈß I wanna love you
ßá äåÇÑ æßá áíá every day and every night
ÓæÝ äßæä ÏÇÆãÇð we'll be together
ÊÍÊ ÓÞÝ æÇÍÏ with a roof
ÝæÞ ÑÄÓäÇ right over our heads
ÓæÝ äÔÊÑß Ýí ÇáãÄì we'll share the shelter
áÓÑíÑ äæã æÇÍÏ of my single bed...
áÞÏ ÝÚáÊåÇ I did it.
áÞÏ ÇÚÏÊ ÇáíåÇ ÍÝá ÒæÇÌåÇ I gave her back her wedding.
ÈÇáäÓÈÉ Çáì Ìæí ßí ÊËÈÊ ÇáÎÈÒ For jah provide the bread
åá åÐÇ ÍÈ¡ åá ÊÓãíå ÍÈ is this love, is this love,
åá åÐÇ ÍÈ¡ åá ÊÓãíå ÍÈ is this love, is this love
åÐÇ ÇáÐí ÇÔÚÑ Èå¿ that I'm feeling?
æÞÏ ÝßÑÊ ÈÇäåÇ ÊßÑåäí And even though she hated me
áÇÎÈÇÑí ÏÇÑäíá ÈÇáÍÞíÞÉ for telling darnell the truth,
áÞÏ ÚáãÊ ÈÇäåÇ ÇáÔíÁ ÇáÕÍíÍ áÝÚáå I knew it was the right thing to do.
...åá åÐÇ ÍÈ ...Is this love,
åá ÊÓãíå ÍÈ is this love
åÐÇ ÇáÐí ÇÔÚÑ Èå¿ that I'm feeling?
ÇíÑá Earl.
ÊÚÇá æÇÍÕá Úáì æÇÍÏÉ ãä åÐå Come get in one of these.
Ãæå¡ ÑÇÆÚ Oh, great.
íßÝì ÓæÁð Çäß ÏÚæÊäí ááÍÝáÉ It's bad enough you had to invite him.
ÈÇáäÓÈÉ áí æáÌæí äãáß ãËá As for me and joy having that
ÚáÇÞÉ ÈÑæÓ æÏíãí bruce and demi relationship
ßäÊ ÇÍÇæá... I was trying for...
ÇÑÌæÇ Çä íßæä áÏíß ÓÑØÇä ãÓÊÚÕí hope you get nut cancer,
íÇÈä ÇáÓÇÝáÉ you son of a bitch.
ÍÓäÇð¡ åá ÞãÊ ÈÊÞÈíá Nice. Do you kiss your
ØÝáß ÇáÛíÑ ÔÑÚí ÈÝãß¿ illegitimate children with that mouth?
ÇÈÊÓÇãÉ Smile.
ÍÓäÇ¡ Úáì ÇáÇÞá ÓæÝ äÈÏæ well, at least we'll look
ÓÚÏÇÁ Ýí ÇáÕæÑÉ happy in the pictures.
áÞÏ ÞÇáæÇ ÈÇäß áä ÊäÓì they say you never forget the
ÑÞÕÊß ÇáÇæáì Ýí ÍÝá ÒæÇÌß first dance at your wedding.
ÇÚáã ÈÇä ÑÇäÏí áä íäÓì ÑÞÕÊå I know randy will never forget his.
mr_7sin@hotmail.com