1 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,572 Hey, howdy there, Mr. Lee. 2 00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:34,033 What is this? Filipino New Year's? 3 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,035 No. Why you say that? 4 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:37,870 Because you're cooking up a feast. 5 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,664 I can smell it all the way from the interstate. 6 00:00:40,832 --> 00:00:43,292 What is that? Barbecue? 7 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:46,253 Oh, yeah. But it not coming from here. 8 00:00:46,796 --> 00:00:48,422 What is that noise? 9 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,971 Daddy! 10 00:01:00,977 --> 00:01:03,187 -- Daddy! - Daddy! 11 00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,803 What is your take on this, Jerry? 12 00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:25,681 The people are gonna love it, Mr. President. 13 00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:30,394 Our only conflict is whether we ambush the 6:00 news or hold out for prime time. 14 00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:32,938 Screw the press. This is a need-to-know situation. 15 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,648 We should make it top secret... 16 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,984 ...and move in right away with DEFCON 4. 17 00:04:37,151 --> 00:04:39,111 Mr. President, we cannot sit on this. 18 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:44,366 General Casey, do you have an opinion? 19 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,286 Well, sir, do we know they're hostile? 20 00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,871 What do you mean, "do we know they're hostile?" 21 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:52,749 They have our planet surrounded with thousands of warships. 22 00:04:52,917 --> 00:04:54,459 Do we know they're warships? 23 00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:01,133 Professor, what do we know about them? 24 00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:05,095 We know they're extremely advanced technologically... 25 00:05:05,263 --> 00:05:08,307 ...which suggests, very rightfully so, that they're peaceful. 26 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:13,228 An advanced civilization is, by definition, not barbaric. 27 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,523 Mr. President, this is a great day. 28 00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:20,485 I and all my colleagues are extremely excited. 29 00:05:21,404 --> 00:05:23,030 Good. 30 00:05:23,573 --> 00:05:26,408 Extraterrestrial life. 31 00:05:27,076 --> 00:05:28,577 You're right, Jerry. 32 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:31,079 The people are gonna love it. 33 00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:33,707 This is a momentous occasion. 34 00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:37,294 -Mr. President, we have to act-- - We'll go all media on this. 35 00:05:37,879 --> 00:05:42,215 I'll wear my blue Cerruti suit. And, Jerry, I'll need a good speech. 36 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,467 Statesman-like... 37 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:47,929 ...historical and yet warm and neighborly. 38 00:05:48,097 --> 00:05:51,892 Abraham Lincoln meets Leave It to Beaver. You know the sort of thing. Heh. 39 00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,185 Yes, sir. 40 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,103 Are they too old-fashioned? - Yes. 41 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,730 No, I don't think so. 42 00:05:56,898 --> 00:06:00,359 This has got the colors, but no. I don't think so. 43 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,069 -- Not vivid enough. - Mm-hm. Mm-hm. 44 00:06:02,236 --> 00:06:04,863 -Nancy had this in the library, didn't she? -Yes, indeed. 45 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,156 I don't think so. 46 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:09,951 I thought perhaps the watered silk. And this week it's on sale. 47 00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,746 I hardly think I need worry about that. 48 00:06:12,914 --> 00:06:15,582 My husband is the leader of the free world. 49 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,877 What do you think, Taffy? 50 00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:22,631 Why don't you leave the Roosevelt Room the way the Roosevelts wanted it? 51 00:06:23,966 --> 00:06:27,969 Because Eleanor Roosevelt was too fond of chintz. That's why. 52 00:06:28,304 --> 00:06:30,430 Mother, this isn't your house. 53 00:06:30,598 --> 00:06:33,683 Taffy, if you're going to be a pest, I'm going to ignore you. 54 00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:36,603 -Mrs. Dale? -Yes? 55 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,420 -I saw you fight Sonny Liston in '69. -Really? 56 00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,839 -You mean, you were a nun back then? -Oh, yes. 57 00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:07,050 We've always been fight fans, haven't we, sisters? 58 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,094 Byron Williams, telephone. 59 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,221 -Byron Williams.... -That's me. I gotta go. 60 00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,932 You ladies have a nice time, all right? Thank you. 61 00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,396 -- Yeah? - Byron? 62 00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,605 Oh, Louise. 63 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:23,150 I'm sorry I have to call you at work. 64 00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:27,946 The boys haven't been home in two nights and I don't know what to do. 65 00:07:28,406 --> 00:07:30,198 Listen, you're doing the best you can. 66 00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,159 They're just at that age. 67 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:37,289 Louise, the casino manager's giving me the evil eye. I've gotta go. 68 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,666 I'll call you later, okay? 69 00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:43,628 Hey, are you still cool on me coming to Washington? 70 00:07:43,796 --> 00:07:45,464 Sure. Of course I am. 71 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:49,217 You take care, okay? Bye. 72 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,107 Ahh.... 73 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,234 Do you have to drink in front of me? 74 00:08:06,402 --> 00:08:08,528 You're an adult. Just cope. 75 00:08:08,696 --> 00:08:11,823 It doesn't help me that all we ever do is sit around in bars. 76 00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,117 Hey. This is work, baby, okay? 77 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:17,704 I'm checking the decor, the lighting, the traffic flow. 78 00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:21,082 If I'd known you'd turn into a crook, I never would have married you. 79 00:08:21,250 --> 00:08:22,792 I'm not a crook. 80 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,337 I'm ambitious. There's a difference. 81 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:28,089 And if you think you can make a nickel in this town... 82 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:32,135 ...without knowing how to dally around a few curves, well... 83 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:34,930 ...you don't know doodlysquat about the gaming industry. 84 00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:36,306 Oh, Art. 85 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:40,435 Galaxy's gonna be the best hotel in Vegas. 86 00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,021 The best. I promise. 87 00:08:43,189 --> 00:08:45,982 Don't you realize what you're doing? Destroying the Earth. 88 00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:49,027 All this greed. This money system. 89 00:08:49,195 --> 00:08:50,904 You're destroying everything. 90 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,990 Okay, okay, Barbara. Okay. 91 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,826 Keep your voice down. 92 00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,663 I got friends here. 93 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,250 Sugar. Hit me one more time. 94 00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:06,211 -Stop flirting with the waitress. -Oh, God. Here. 95 00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,589 Go on over to the roulette... 96 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,801 ...play our anniversary... 97 00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,095 ...and stay off of black. 98 00:09:18,307 --> 00:09:19,391 Thanks, honey. 99 00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,482 Yeah? 100 00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,652 Make it quick. We go out live in 10 minutes. 101 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:34,823 What? The actual president? What do you mean, "cutting in"? 102 00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,997 Budget negotiations may be dead in the water after this week. 103 00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:44,666 Hair looks good. 104 00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,376 I like the hair. 105 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,295 --quote, "factually challenged." Griffin says.... 106 00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:51,339 Yeah, Stone. Speak. 107 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:52,966 Jason, hi, it's me. 108 00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,927 You wearing a bra? 109 00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:59,764 Listen, this is big. President Dale is cutting into my show today. 110 00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:04,352 That's absurd. Why would he stoop to being on Today in Fashion? 111 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,854 He's interrupting everybody. 112 00:10:06,022 --> 00:10:09,399 I don't know, it's some sort of emergency announcement or something. 113 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:11,985 This doesn't make sense. He should be talking to us. 114 00:10:13,529 --> 00:10:15,822 White House is coming out live. 115 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,159 Good evening, my fellow Americans. 116 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:23,038 I apologize for interrupting your regular programs... 117 00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:26,333 ...but I have a very important announcement to make. 118 00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:29,878 Many important things have happened to me in my life: 119 00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:32,672 My graduation from Princeton... 120 00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:36,509 ...the day that Marsha said she would be my wife... 121 00:10:36,677 --> 00:10:38,762 ...the birth of our daughter, Taffy. 122 00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:39,971 Thanks, Dad. 123 00:10:40,556 --> 00:10:42,724 And the news that I have heard today... 124 00:10:42,892 --> 00:10:45,018 -...ranks right up there. -Thank you. 125 00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:48,104 A powerful memory is in the making. 126 00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:49,898 Not just for me... 127 00:10:50,066 --> 00:10:52,067 ...but for all mankind. 128 00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:57,947 Today, an extraordinary discovery was made by the Hubble telescope. 129 00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:02,702 The data from the Hubble was decoded... 130 00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:04,913 ...then analyzed by the most powerful computers at MIT. 131 00:11:08,084 --> 00:11:10,293 The images are undeniable. 132 00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:14,297 We are entering the dawn of a new era. 133 00:11:15,257 --> 00:11:18,927 Frame enlargements provide an astonishing sight. 134 00:11:19,595 --> 00:11:24,099 A fleet of vehicles, which can best be described as... 135 00:11:24,266 --> 00:11:25,642 ...flying saucers. 136 00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:29,479 Come on. Come on. Papa needs a new pair of shoes. 137 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,523 Hey! 138 00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,150 Hey, am I the only one shooting craps here? 139 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:37,737 --we will have - the opportunity to meet with them. 140 00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:41,074 I feel this is the perfect summation to the 20th century.... 141 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,284 Martians. 142 00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:44,911 This is great. 143 00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:48,665 Please come to Earth. Please. 144 00:11:49,291 --> 00:11:50,583 We need you. 145 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,132 I got people coming in. 146 00:11:57,299 --> 00:12:00,301 Everybody wants to be a part of this. 147 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,346 Galaxy's gonna be world-class. 148 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,140 And soon... 149 00:12:05,307 --> 00:12:08,351 ...we will become one solar system. 150 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,687 What the hell is he talking about? 151 00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:14,315 These flying saucers have come from the planet Mars... 152 00:12:14,483 --> 00:12:17,694 -...and at their current course and speed.... -Oh. Hey. 153 00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:23,450 Listen, Hoss. I've been thinking about Martians when there wasn't no Martians. 154 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:28,329 It is profoundly moving to know there is intelligent life out there. 155 00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:29,789 Glad they got it somewhere. 156 00:12:29,957 --> 00:12:34,335 And our world will never feel quite the same again. 157 00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,297 Good night... 158 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:39,841 ...and God bless you all. 159 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:51,936 This... 160 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,521 ...is intense. 161 00:12:56,817 --> 00:12:58,693 Shut up, Poppy. Shut up. 162 00:12:59,695 --> 00:13:01,529 Shut up. 163 00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,698 Jason Stone. 164 00:13:06,035 --> 00:13:07,702 It's for you. 165 00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:11,414 Poppy, honey. No, sweetie. 166 00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:17,212 That's right. Shh. Good girl. Yeah? 167 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:21,508 Yeah. Well, I could be there at... 168 00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,468 ...I don't know, 11. 169 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:26,596 Okay, bye-bye. 170 00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,066 Yes? 171 00:13:38,943 --> 00:13:42,153 Oh, they want me to go interview that professor from the White House. 172 00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:44,906 Kessler? 173 00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:48,243 -Donald Kessler? -Yeah, I think that was his name. 174 00:13:48,410 --> 00:13:51,079 You know, the science guy. 175 00:13:51,247 --> 00:13:53,456 This is nuts, this is.... 176 00:13:53,624 --> 00:13:55,124 We should have got that guy. 177 00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:59,045 Well, I can't help it if your people are too slow. 178 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:00,255 Right, Poppy? 179 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,282 -Finished! -One minute, 57 seconds. 180 00:14:27,616 --> 00:14:30,952 -Ha-ha! Didn't I tell you under two minutes? -You did. 181 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,872 You did. I'm so proud of you. 182 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,708 -Hey, Ma, you want a doughnut? -How old are they? 183 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,001 Fresh-baked Monday. 184 00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,462 Richie, that's six days ago. 185 00:14:41,630 --> 00:14:42,922 Okay, give me a couple. 186 00:14:46,635 --> 00:14:49,095 Hey, this Martian thing is pretty awesome, huh? 187 00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,974 Did any one of you traitors see my Muffy? 188 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,851 Your brother's gonna volunteer. 189 00:14:55,019 --> 00:14:57,145 As soon as I get back to the base. 190 00:14:57,313 --> 00:15:00,106 -Volunteer for what, Billy Glenn? -Martian detail. 191 00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:01,941 -Uh-huh. -Cool. 192 00:15:02,109 --> 00:15:04,110 If any of them Martians come around here... 193 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,404 ...I'm gonna kick their butts. Heh-heh-heh. 194 00:15:18,125 --> 00:15:19,667 Jump! 195 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,054 Excuse me, folks, but we gotta make an unscheduled stop. 196 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,351 It's Mama. 197 00:15:36,518 --> 00:15:39,687 What are you doing here? Huh? If you ain't home, why ain't you in class? 198 00:15:39,855 --> 00:15:42,398 -Mama, class was canceled. -Class was not canceled. 199 00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:44,150 -Come here. Come here. -For what? 200 00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,069 I'm not gonna hurt you. Now, come here. 201 00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:48,029 Let go of him. 202 00:15:48,697 --> 00:15:51,074 Okay. Now, just come here. 203 00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,409 Come here. 204 00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:55,536 Think it's smart to cut school? 205 00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:58,206 -What are you doing? -Do you? Do you? Huh? Huh? 206 00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,666 -No. -"No, Mama." It's dumb. 207 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,834 -- You're gonna flunk and go to jail. - No. 208 00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:05,421 Get your butt on the bus. Get on that bus, boy. 209 00:16:05,589 --> 00:16:07,715 I'll be tripping all over you. Get back there. 210 00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:10,551 -- I don't want to hear another word. - I hate school. 211 00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,637 I heard that. 212 00:16:35,369 --> 00:16:36,911 Hi. -Hi there. 213 00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:40,039 - Want a date? - - How about it? 214 00:16:40,207 --> 00:16:41,833 A date? 215 00:16:43,794 --> 00:16:44,836 Sounds good. 216 00:16:47,464 --> 00:16:49,007 The stress at work is... 217 00:16:49,508 --> 00:16:51,551 ...unbelievable. 218 00:16:56,432 --> 00:16:58,266 Mr. Bava, can I speak to you in private? 219 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,394 No, I gotta watch the floor. What do you want, Byron? 220 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:05,023 -I'm supporting my family back East. -I thought you were divorced. 221 00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,943 Well, I am, but I still have to take care of them. 222 00:17:09,111 --> 00:17:11,988 Anyway, look. Things have been a little lean around here... 223 00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:14,365 ...and I was wondering if I could get a raise? 224 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:17,452 -Out of the question. -Mr. Bava, I'm an asset to this hotel. 225 00:17:17,619 --> 00:17:20,580 -I mean, they like me around here. -Byron, you're a nice guy. 226 00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:24,709 But I can get Leon Spinks or Buster Douglas for the same money, maybe less. 227 00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:28,421 You better get moving. You're on in five minutes. 228 00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:40,391 This show's gonna get a hell of a rating. 229 00:17:40,601 --> 00:17:41,684 It's all yours, Ian. 230 00:17:41,852 --> 00:17:44,771 --language you choose to employ, and in certain circumstances... 231 00:17:44,938 --> 00:17:47,648 ...the proposition that two and two equals five... 232 00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:49,650 ...is entirely legitimate. 233 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,612 Call me Nathalie. 234 00:17:53,322 --> 00:17:55,990 And you, do please call me Donald. 235 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,577 I've always admired your show. 236 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,873 Really? You like my work? 237 00:18:04,541 --> 00:18:06,167 Yes. Very much. 238 00:18:06,335 --> 00:18:08,086 Why.... 239 00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:10,046 Why, thank you. 240 00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:11,881 Coming out of commercial. 241 00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:15,968 In five, four, three, two.... 242 00:18:16,136 --> 00:18:21,015 Welcome back. We're speaking with Professor Donald Kessler. 243 00:18:21,183 --> 00:18:27,396 He's the chairman of the American Academy of Astronautics. 244 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:29,440 Professor... 245 00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:32,985 ...isn't it weird that we sent a space probe to Mars... 246 00:18:33,153 --> 00:18:34,737 ...and we didn't even find anyone? 247 00:18:35,572 --> 00:18:38,282 Well, not really, Nathalie... 248 00:18:39,451 --> 00:18:41,536 ...because we didn't get into the canals. 249 00:18:41,703 --> 00:18:43,579 The Martian canals are actually canyons. 250 00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,040 Some of them are over 100 miles deep. 251 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,876 The Martian civilization has clearly developed... 252 00:18:49,044 --> 00:18:51,420 ...under the surface of the planet. 253 00:18:51,588 --> 00:18:54,757 Their science and technology must be absolutely mind-boggling. 254 00:18:56,093 --> 00:19:00,471 So, what, in your view, Donald Kessler... 255 00:19:00,639 --> 00:19:04,892 ...chairman, are some of the things that the Martians can teach us, professor? 256 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,022 Quite a lot about Mars, I expect, Nathalie. 257 00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:14,735 She's flirting with him. 258 00:19:14,945 --> 00:19:18,489 Ahem. But seriously, this is tremendously exciting. 259 00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:21,784 Think of it. The knowledge, new ideas. It's gonna change everything. 260 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,162 And we must be open to it. 261 00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,873 Maybe they can tell us about our universe. 262 00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:29,208 How it started. Where it's going. 263 00:19:29,376 --> 00:19:32,378 Perhaps even its purpose. 264 00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,755 It's tremendously exciting. 265 00:19:34,923 --> 00:19:40,469 This is the most important thing to happen since Jesus walked in Galilee. 266 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,806 Oh, Christ. What's wrong with the picture? 267 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,141 Go to Camera 2! 268 00:19:45,309 --> 00:19:46,642 I can't. It's busted. 269 00:19:46,810 --> 00:19:48,561 Well, then go to 1. Go to 4. 270 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,319 He just copped a feel. 271 00:19:59,281 --> 00:20:00,364 Now what? 272 00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:14,587 What's that? 273 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:16,797 So that's a Martian. 274 00:20:20,260 --> 00:20:21,427 That's a Martian? 275 00:20:25,265 --> 00:20:27,642 -Oh, my God. -Yikes. 276 00:20:30,562 --> 00:20:32,521 I'm not gonna have that thing in my house. 277 00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:38,611 Sweetie, we may have to. The people will expect me to meet with them. 278 00:20:38,779 --> 00:20:41,197 Well, they're not gonna eat off the Van Buren china. 279 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:45,326 Oh, look at that brain. 280 00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:46,953 He must be real smart. 281 00:20:47,621 --> 00:20:49,580 It's gross. 282 00:20:49,998 --> 00:20:51,666 Don't forget, Nathalie... 283 00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,752 ...that we will look equally gross to him. 284 00:20:59,174 --> 00:21:01,842 Whoa. He made the international sign of the doughnut. 285 00:21:02,177 --> 00:21:05,846 From the limited information available, I've made three extrapolations. 286 00:21:06,014 --> 00:21:09,517 One, our Martian friend is a carbon-based life form. 287 00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:12,019 Two, he breathes nitrogen. 288 00:21:12,187 --> 00:21:16,857 And three, the large cerebrum here indicates... 289 00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,859 ...telepathic potential. 290 00:21:19,027 --> 00:21:22,071 You mean they can read our thoughts? 291 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:27,451 -Potentially, yes. -What about their intentions? 292 00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,161 Are they a friendly people? 293 00:21:29,871 --> 00:21:34,709 Logic dictates that given their extremely high level of technical development... 294 00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:36,585 ...they're an advanced culture... 295 00:21:36,753 --> 00:21:40,464 ...therefore, peaceful and enlightened. 296 00:21:40,632 --> 00:21:43,009 The human race, on the other hand... 297 00:21:43,176 --> 00:21:46,345 ...is an aggressively dangerous species. 298 00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:50,141 Now, I suspect they have more to fear from us... 299 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,852 ...than we from them. 300 00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,979 -Doctor. -Thank you, professor. 301 00:21:56,565 --> 00:22:00,234 For many years, I've been refining a translating computer. 302 00:22:01,194 --> 00:22:03,070 The results are not perfect... 303 00:22:03,238 --> 00:22:07,033 ...but this may answer some of your questions. 304 00:22:12,748 --> 00:22:14,623 All green of skin... 305 00:22:14,791 --> 00:22:17,335 ...800 centuries ago. 306 00:22:17,502 --> 00:22:21,756 Their bodily fluids include the birth of half-breeds. 307 00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:25,217 -How many centuries did he say? -Eight hundred, sir. 308 00:22:25,385 --> 00:22:27,762 --self-determination of the cosmos. 309 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:34,226 For dark is the suede that mows like a harvest. 310 00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:36,354 What the hell does that mean? 311 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,121 -Hey, Mitch. -Good morning, miss. 312 00:22:54,289 --> 00:22:57,750 I'm sorry, you can't come this way. There's a tour in progress. 313 00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:00,544 Oh. 314 00:23:07,135 --> 00:23:08,719 Hello, my name is Barbara. 315 00:23:09,137 --> 00:23:10,638 Hello, Barbara. 316 00:23:11,139 --> 00:23:15,142 I am an alcoholic, but I haven't had a drink in three months. 317 00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,312 Thank you. 318 00:23:22,150 --> 00:23:25,820 I'm feeling so optimistic because of the Martians. 319 00:23:26,446 --> 00:23:28,739 We're not alone in the universe. 320 00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:30,866 And it's so perfect... 321 00:23:31,034 --> 00:23:34,620 ...that it's happening at the beginning of the new millennium. 322 00:23:34,996 --> 00:23:41,252 Our planet was suffering with the ozone and the rain forest... 323 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:45,172 ...and so many people unhappy in their lives. 324 00:23:45,841 --> 00:23:51,679 And then the Martians heard our global karmic cry for help. 325 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:53,264 People say they're ugly... 326 00:23:53,432 --> 00:23:56,392 ...but I think they've come to show us the way. 327 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,688 I think they've come to save us. 328 00:24:03,483 --> 00:24:04,817 Thank you. 329 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:18,539 Bye-bye. 330 00:24:18,707 --> 00:24:21,417 You be careful, baby, okay? Don't get yourself killed. 331 00:24:21,585 --> 00:24:22,960 Oh, ain't she cute? 332 00:24:23,128 --> 00:24:25,546 -Son, we're real proud of you. -Thanks, Dad. 333 00:24:27,007 --> 00:24:28,591 Let me take this. 334 00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:30,885 -So long, bro. -So long, retard. 335 00:24:31,052 --> 00:24:34,472 Just don't be touching none of my stuff while I'm gone. 336 00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:37,391 Bye-bye, Grandma. 337 00:24:37,559 --> 00:24:38,726 Goodbye, Thomas. 338 00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:40,144 It's Billy Glenn, Grandma. 339 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:43,439 I know. Thomas. Ha-ha-ha. 340 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,733 Bye-bye, honey. 341 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,694 I got to go. 342 00:24:50,572 --> 00:24:52,031 All right. 343 00:24:52,449 --> 00:24:54,325 I love you, baby. 344 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,078 Adios. 345 00:25:01,416 --> 00:25:03,334 Be careful, boy. 346 00:25:05,003 --> 00:25:06,545 Bye-bye. 347 00:25:13,094 --> 00:25:15,179 Well, he'll be all right. 348 00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,765 -I hope so. -Army trains them good. 349 00:25:23,605 --> 00:25:25,105 Well, he's gone for a while. 350 00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:28,567 Oh, Richie, why can't you be more like your brother? 351 00:25:28,735 --> 00:25:31,278 Darling, we got plumb lucky with Billy Glenn. 352 00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:33,531 Can't expect the same luck twice. 353 00:25:33,698 --> 00:25:36,659 Richie, want to make yourself useful for a change? 354 00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:40,287 -Sure, Dad. -Take Grandma back to the home. 355 00:25:54,052 --> 00:25:58,013 Grandma, I bet you never thought you'd live to see the Martians coming to Earth. 356 00:25:58,181 --> 00:26:00,391 It's pretty far out, huh? 357 00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:06,188 Just think of all the crazy stuff you must have seen in your lifetime. 358 00:26:06,356 --> 00:26:09,149 I bet people were pretty scared when they invented the train. 359 00:26:10,485 --> 00:26:12,903 Come on, kid, I'm not that old. 360 00:26:16,491 --> 00:26:17,491 Grandma, are you okay? 361 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:20,995 I want to see Slim. 362 00:26:21,162 --> 00:26:23,872 I want to see Slim... 363 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:27,710 ...and Muffy and Richie. 364 00:26:30,171 --> 00:26:31,547 Grandma, I'm Richie. 365 00:26:33,216 --> 00:26:35,175 I know, Thomas. 366 00:26:35,510 --> 00:26:38,262 Richie was always the best one. 367 00:26:42,309 --> 00:26:44,560 The president is talking to other world leaders. 368 00:26:45,854 --> 00:26:49,231 They're preparing a list of issues of common interest to discuss. 369 00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:53,444 There is a unilateral, concerted, diplomatic effort being made. 370 00:26:56,031 --> 00:26:57,698 -Jason. -Yeah, Jerry, thanks. 371 00:26:57,866 --> 00:27:00,200 If the Martians land, will the press have access? 372 00:27:00,368 --> 00:27:01,493 Can we do interviews? 373 00:27:02,370 --> 00:27:03,746 Well, I mean, that depends. 374 00:27:03,913 --> 00:27:06,081 You know, we'd have to establish contact... 375 00:27:06,249 --> 00:27:08,375 ...work out whatever communication problems... 376 00:27:08,543 --> 00:27:12,338 ...establish a parameter for talks. Then I guess we just see what happens. Heh-heh. 377 00:27:12,505 --> 00:27:13,839 Oh, here's the president. 378 00:27:16,718 --> 00:27:20,512 Good morning. It's nice to see you all again. 379 00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:24,350 I just have a few minutes for questions, so let's get started. 380 00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:25,559 Mr. President! 381 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:31,815 Do the Martians have two sexes, like we do? 382 00:27:49,793 --> 00:27:55,089 From Hollywood, we bring you The Lawrence Welk Show. 383 00:27:59,928 --> 00:28:05,265 Now, here he is, Mr. Music-Maker himself, Lawrence Welk. 384 00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:17,236 This pussycat is the most beautiful pussycat... 385 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,780 ...in the whole world. 386 00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:21,573 That's my Muffy. 387 00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,826 Mwah. 388 00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:29,123 Richie, didn't you ever have a pussycat of your own? 389 00:28:29,290 --> 00:28:30,290 Sure, Grandma. 390 00:28:31,292 --> 00:28:32,918 Music. 391 00:28:38,299 --> 00:28:41,593 -There you go. -Thank you. 392 00:28:44,013 --> 00:28:45,597 Hey, Grandma, you gonna be okay? 393 00:28:46,599 --> 00:28:48,892 If you need anything, any doughnuts or anything... 394 00:28:49,060 --> 00:28:50,686 ...give me a call, all right? 395 00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:54,523 Bye. 396 00:28:56,609 --> 00:28:59,987 Will you answer too 397 00:29:16,796 --> 00:29:18,088 How do, Byron? 398 00:29:19,340 --> 00:29:22,176 Looks like you ain't got no wheels. 399 00:29:22,343 --> 00:29:24,762 Come on, get in. 400 00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:31,351 I'm gonna do you a favor, Byron. 401 00:29:31,519 --> 00:29:36,815 I owe you one. I made a ton of money on your last fight in '73. 402 00:29:36,983 --> 00:29:38,150 The Quaker in Jamaica. 403 00:29:38,318 --> 00:29:40,903 Heh. I'm glad somebody did. 404 00:29:41,070 --> 00:29:43,197 Yeah, I know, I know. 405 00:29:43,364 --> 00:29:44,740 It's rough on jocks. 406 00:29:45,492 --> 00:29:50,329 Get to a certain age, opportunities dry up. 407 00:29:50,497 --> 00:29:52,164 So here's the deal. 408 00:29:52,332 --> 00:29:56,418 I got this chump, owes me a lot of money, needs a wake-up call. 409 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,837 What I'd like for you to do is... 410 00:29:59,005 --> 00:30:02,883 ...use that patented left hook on him. 411 00:30:03,051 --> 00:30:05,886 Just in the ring, Art, you know? Just in the ring. 412 00:30:06,054 --> 00:30:08,722 Yeah, I'm hip, I'm hip... 413 00:30:09,015 --> 00:30:11,266 ...but I'll give you two grand. 414 00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:13,685 When you're done... 415 00:30:13,853 --> 00:30:17,856 ...all you gotta do is mosey on by the office and pick up the cash. 416 00:30:18,191 --> 00:30:20,234 Why you wanna come at me that way, Art? 417 00:30:20,401 --> 00:30:22,694 You know I'm trying to get back with my wife. 418 00:30:22,862 --> 00:30:26,073 We used to have problems with that same kind of shit. 419 00:30:26,241 --> 00:30:28,033 I've changed, man. 420 00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:32,120 I found Allah, I don't eat pork, and I'm a better man. 421 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:36,667 I faced that demon. I don't want him coming out again. 422 00:30:38,419 --> 00:30:40,295 You gave up pork. 423 00:30:47,846 --> 00:30:50,305 General, they're sending coordinates. 424 00:30:55,895 --> 00:30:58,897 -Where are they landing? -Pahrump. It's in the Nevada desert. 425 00:30:59,065 --> 00:31:02,276 Yes, sir. I can have my troops there at 0800 hours, sir. 426 00:31:02,443 --> 00:31:05,946 Mr. President, we must not send these people the wrong message. 427 00:31:06,114 --> 00:31:08,115 We need a welcome mat, not a row of tanks. 428 00:31:08,283 --> 00:31:09,950 What the hell are you talking about? 429 00:31:10,118 --> 00:31:13,412 You can't have Martians running all over Nevada! 430 00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:15,455 -You're right, general. -Thank you, sir. 431 00:31:15,623 --> 00:31:17,583 The situation needs to be supervised. 432 00:31:17,750 --> 00:31:19,251 Absolutely, sir. 433 00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:21,128 General Casey... 434 00:31:21,296 --> 00:31:23,130 ...you think you can handle it? 435 00:31:23,298 --> 00:31:24,298 I'd be proud. 436 00:31:24,465 --> 00:31:26,633 Good, but keep a lid on it. 437 00:31:26,801 --> 00:31:30,762 Key media, good cross-section of guests. 438 00:31:30,930 --> 00:31:33,098 We don't want it to turn into a zoo out there. 439 00:31:33,266 --> 00:31:34,975 Yes, sir. 440 00:31:42,650 --> 00:31:45,485 They don't know what the hell they're talking about. 441 00:31:45,653 --> 00:31:47,779 Liberals, intellectuals... 442 00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:50,824 ...peacemongers, idiots! 443 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:54,286 Would you please keep it down? 444 00:31:54,454 --> 00:31:56,663 People live here. 445 00:32:20,229 --> 00:32:21,271 General Casey. 446 00:32:23,024 --> 00:32:26,652 Yes, I get to greet the Martian ambassador. 447 00:32:26,819 --> 00:32:28,320 Isn't that great? 448 00:32:28,488 --> 00:32:31,698 Oh, it's a hell of an honor. 449 00:32:31,866 --> 00:32:33,659 But didn't I always tell you, honey... 450 00:32:33,826 --> 00:32:36,370 ...if I just stayed in place and never spoke up... 451 00:32:36,537 --> 00:32:39,122 ...good things were bound to happen? 452 00:32:39,290 --> 00:32:41,625 Yeah. Okay. 453 00:33:45,773 --> 00:33:49,484 I want the Martians to be treated like foreign dignitaries. 454 00:33:49,652 --> 00:33:52,279 I want your men alert and majestic... 455 00:33:52,447 --> 00:33:55,449 ...with a snap in their step. 456 00:33:55,992 --> 00:33:58,702 This has got to look good. The whole world is watching. 457 00:33:58,870 --> 00:33:59,911 Yes, sir. 458 00:34:05,376 --> 00:34:07,419 Are you positive this thing is gonna work? 459 00:34:08,755 --> 00:34:10,422 Positively positive. 460 00:34:10,590 --> 00:34:12,049 We don't want any slip-ups. 461 00:34:12,216 --> 00:34:14,342 No, no, no. Not at all. No. 462 00:34:35,990 --> 00:34:39,367 Hey, Poppy. All these people... 463 00:34:39,535 --> 00:34:42,162 ...all of them here to see you. 464 00:34:42,371 --> 00:34:43,997 Mm-mwah. 465 00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:46,458 There's Jason, Poppy. 466 00:34:46,626 --> 00:34:48,376 Hi, Jason! 467 00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:51,546 Hi. 468 00:34:52,048 --> 00:34:53,799 Jason. 469 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:56,301 Hi. Yoo-hoo. 470 00:34:59,180 --> 00:35:01,348 All right, let's go. 471 00:35:02,850 --> 00:35:05,936 The teeming masses have gathered from who knows how many states... 472 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:09,815 ...waiting and watching. Why have they come? 473 00:35:10,358 --> 00:35:12,609 Curiosity? Or is it something more? 474 00:35:12,777 --> 00:35:15,445 Or is it simply to say, "I was there"? 475 00:35:15,696 --> 00:35:18,657 "I was there when first man... 476 00:35:19,158 --> 00:35:21,159 ...met Martian." 477 00:35:21,327 --> 00:35:24,955 Jason Stone, GNN, Pahrump. 478 00:35:58,030 --> 00:36:01,783 Give them room. That's it. Give them room. 479 00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:55,295 It is an awesome sight. 480 00:36:55,463 --> 00:36:58,173 The giant spacecraft glinting... 481 00:36:58,341 --> 00:37:03,386 ...in the Nevada sun like a giant... 482 00:37:03,554 --> 00:37:05,430 ...hubcap. 483 00:37:06,933 --> 00:37:07,974 Something's happening. 484 00:37:14,023 --> 00:37:16,566 Doorway is opening. 485 00:37:21,489 --> 00:37:24,950 A silver ramp is coming out... 486 00:37:25,534 --> 00:37:30,038 ...like a giant tongue. Oh. 487 00:37:51,686 --> 00:37:53,937 Gee whiz. 488 00:38:12,873 --> 00:38:14,374 Rusty. Shh. 489 00:38:21,549 --> 00:38:22,549 Martians. 490 00:38:23,926 --> 00:38:25,510 Funny little critters, ain't they? 491 00:39:04,425 --> 00:39:05,842 Well? 492 00:39:06,594 --> 00:39:08,219 Wait a moment. 493 00:39:11,390 --> 00:39:14,976 Greetings. I am the Martian ambassador. 494 00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:20,190 Everything is fixed now, general. You may speak. 495 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:23,318 Greetings. I am General Casey... 496 00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:28,156 ...commanding officer of the armed forces of the United States of America. 497 00:39:28,324 --> 00:39:32,202 On behalf of the people of Earth, welcome. 498 00:39:33,329 --> 00:39:34,412 He did that well. 499 00:40:04,985 --> 00:40:07,153 We come in peace. 500 00:40:07,321 --> 00:40:10,657 We come in peace. We come in peace. 501 00:40:14,453 --> 00:40:16,621 They came in peace. 502 00:40:19,792 --> 00:40:21,376 We come in peace. 503 00:40:50,823 --> 00:40:53,241 Open fire! 504 00:41:13,929 --> 00:41:15,221 Whoa! 505 00:41:23,481 --> 00:41:24,606 What the hell is this? 506 00:41:30,488 --> 00:41:31,821 Nathalie! 507 00:42:14,365 --> 00:42:17,200 Die, you alien shithead! 508 00:42:20,746 --> 00:42:22,163 Uh-oh. 509 00:42:23,332 --> 00:42:24,374 I surrender. 510 00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:34,634 No, that ain't happening. That didn't happen. 511 00:42:48,691 --> 00:42:50,066 Nathalie. 512 00:42:52,611 --> 00:42:53,653 Aah! 513 00:43:31,900 --> 00:43:34,527 Holy mother of God. 514 00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:35,820 Did you see that? 515 00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:38,615 We should hit these assholes with everything we got, sir. 516 00:43:38,782 --> 00:43:41,409 Sir, Mr. President, I know this seems terrible... 517 00:43:41,577 --> 00:43:43,620 ...but let's not be too rash. 518 00:43:43,787 --> 00:43:45,705 We should nuke them now, sir. 519 00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:48,541 We must establish a line of communication first. 520 00:43:49,418 --> 00:43:51,002 Why not set up a town hall? 521 00:43:51,170 --> 00:43:53,463 We can get the public's opinion. 522 00:43:55,257 --> 00:43:56,841 What do you think, Marsha? 523 00:43:58,802 --> 00:44:00,303 Kick the crap out of them. 524 00:44:01,764 --> 00:44:03,431 Ladies and gentlemen... 525 00:44:03,599 --> 00:44:05,767 ...this could be a cultural misunderstanding. 526 00:44:06,393 --> 00:44:08,561 Yeah. Maybe to them, doves mean war. 527 00:44:10,939 --> 00:44:14,108 We all saw how they reacted to that dove. 528 00:44:14,276 --> 00:44:16,027 It frightened them. 529 00:44:16,195 --> 00:44:18,571 He did say that... 530 00:44:20,074 --> 00:44:22,742 ..."We come in peace." 531 00:44:23,952 --> 00:44:25,578 Yes. 532 00:44:32,378 --> 00:44:34,462 The new computer's ready, Mr. President. 533 00:44:34,630 --> 00:44:36,631 Okay, let's do it. 534 00:44:36,799 --> 00:44:39,884 I know we're making the right decision. 535 00:44:42,096 --> 00:44:44,430 Ready to transmit. 536 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:50,061 This is the president of the United States. 537 00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:52,563 I'm speaking to you in the hope... 538 00:44:52,731 --> 00:44:55,817 ...that what happened earlier today in the Nevada desert... 539 00:44:56,443 --> 00:44:59,946 ...was a cultural misunderstanding. 540 00:45:00,114 --> 00:45:02,990 There can be no doubt that we two peoples... 541 00:45:03,158 --> 00:45:06,452 ...have a great deal to offer one another. 542 00:45:06,620 --> 00:45:08,830 You must be as excited as we... 543 00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:12,208 ...to find intelligent life in the solar system. 544 00:45:13,293 --> 00:45:15,294 And let me make it clear: 545 00:45:15,462 --> 00:45:19,424 You have nothing to fear from us. 546 00:45:20,008 --> 00:45:22,719 Our customs may be strange to you... 547 00:45:22,886 --> 00:45:26,806 ...but we mean no harm. 548 00:46:37,878 --> 00:46:40,254 When the investors fly in... 549 00:46:40,881 --> 00:46:47,094 ...I would like for them each to be met by a limo. 550 00:46:47,262 --> 00:46:50,181 Top-of-the-line cars... 551 00:46:50,349 --> 00:46:52,892 ...leather interiors... 552 00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:55,186 ...Corinthian, if they got it. 553 00:46:55,354 --> 00:46:59,816 Art, are you still spinning your wheels on that cockamamie hotel? 554 00:47:00,150 --> 00:47:02,527 -Whoa. -Hello. 555 00:47:03,278 --> 00:47:05,404 The Martians have attacked. 556 00:47:05,572 --> 00:47:09,617 This was no misunderstanding. I was there. I saw it. 557 00:47:09,785 --> 00:47:11,994 Look, you're worried about yesterday. 558 00:47:12,579 --> 00:47:14,580 But I'm worried about tomorrow. 559 00:47:14,748 --> 00:47:18,251 The Martians land on Earth, they're gonna need a place to stay. 560 00:47:18,418 --> 00:47:19,877 Just like everybody else. 561 00:47:20,796 --> 00:47:22,505 My God. 562 00:47:23,715 --> 00:47:26,717 Maybe we should all be destroyed. 563 00:47:27,553 --> 00:47:30,805 The human race doesn't deserve to live. 564 00:47:37,604 --> 00:47:40,356 Ethel, that reminds me. 565 00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:43,150 I would like for every limo to be stocked... 566 00:47:43,318 --> 00:47:46,612 ...with every kind of alcohol known to man. 567 00:47:46,780 --> 00:47:51,868 And top it off with a bottle of Dom on ice. 568 00:47:52,119 --> 00:47:55,413 What confounds me most of all, gentlemen, is the lack of genitalia. 569 00:47:55,581 --> 00:48:00,376 And of course down here we have the aorta. Up here we have the sphinx. 570 00:48:00,544 --> 00:48:03,713 Notice the highly developed cranial nerve system here. 571 00:48:03,881 --> 00:48:07,341 This explains, of course, the cerebral arteries. 572 00:48:07,509 --> 00:48:11,971 And if we notice down here, behind the optic chiasm... 573 00:48:12,139 --> 00:48:13,723 ...several glands.... 574 00:48:17,978 --> 00:48:20,479 Very curious. 575 00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:07,443 He who believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live. 576 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:11,906 And whoever lives and believes in me shall never die. 577 00:49:12,991 --> 00:49:16,202 Billy Glenn Norris gave his life defending our country. 578 00:49:16,370 --> 00:49:17,620 Why did it have to be him? 579 00:49:17,788 --> 00:49:20,247 Billy Glenn Norris is a true American hero. 580 00:49:20,415 --> 00:49:23,000 May God rest his soul. 581 00:49:24,503 --> 00:49:27,046 Ready. Aim. 582 00:49:27,464 --> 00:49:29,131 Fire. 583 00:49:30,050 --> 00:49:32,176 Aim. Fire. 584 00:49:33,720 --> 00:49:36,639 Aim. Fire. 585 00:49:44,898 --> 00:49:46,190 Hello? 586 00:49:46,358 --> 00:49:49,568 Byron. Is everything all right? You still coming tomorrow? 587 00:49:49,736 --> 00:49:53,280 You just try and stop me. That plane arrives at 4 p.m. 588 00:49:53,448 --> 00:49:56,575 -Are the kids there? -Yeah, hold on. 589 00:49:56,743 --> 00:49:58,953 Cedric. Neville. 590 00:50:00,914 --> 00:50:02,790 -Me first. -No, me. 591 00:50:04,918 --> 00:50:07,420 -Hey, Dad. -Who's that? Neville? 592 00:50:07,587 --> 00:50:09,463 Yeah. -How you doing? 593 00:50:09,631 --> 00:50:13,092 -We're going to the White House. -You're going to the White House? 594 00:50:13,260 --> 00:50:14,552 Yeah, tomorrow. 595 00:50:14,720 --> 00:50:17,054 -Man, give it back. -Leave me alone. 596 00:50:17,222 --> 00:50:19,223 It's a school thing, like a tour. 597 00:50:19,391 --> 00:50:22,309 So that means you're still going to school once in a while? 598 00:50:22,477 --> 00:50:23,644 Yeah. 599 00:50:23,812 --> 00:50:27,481 -Give me your ma again, all right? -All right. Hold on. Mom. 600 00:50:27,649 --> 00:50:30,818 -You always get to the phone first. -So what? 601 00:50:30,986 --> 00:50:33,112 Well, I'm first to the game. 602 00:50:34,281 --> 00:50:37,616 What are you wasting this phone time for? We're gonna see you tomorrow. 603 00:50:37,784 --> 00:50:40,453 Yeah, but there's something I want to say to you. 604 00:50:40,620 --> 00:50:42,955 Just because I feel like saying it, all right? 605 00:50:43,123 --> 00:50:44,290 Yeah, what's that? 606 00:50:45,292 --> 00:50:46,500 I love you. 607 00:50:48,462 --> 00:50:50,379 I love you too, Byron. 608 00:50:50,547 --> 00:50:53,466 Now stop wasting money. I'll see you tomorrow. 609 00:51:11,276 --> 00:51:12,777 They're responding. 610 00:51:15,989 --> 00:51:18,199 A message from the Martians. 611 00:51:20,118 --> 00:51:21,994 -Really? -They've issued a formal apology. 612 00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:27,374 This is great. 613 00:51:28,001 --> 00:51:29,960 Didn't I tell you this would happen? 614 00:51:30,128 --> 00:51:34,256 The Martian ambassador feels terrible and asked permission to speak to Congress. 615 00:51:34,424 --> 00:51:36,050 I mean, that's good, isn't it? 616 00:51:36,218 --> 00:51:38,177 You bet. 617 00:51:38,345 --> 00:51:40,679 It's a great victory for our administration. 618 00:52:55,422 --> 00:52:56,547 Ladies and gentlemen. 619 00:52:57,215 --> 00:53:00,092 This is a proud day for all Americans. 620 00:53:00,927 --> 00:53:04,388 This is a hell of a photo op, Jerry. 621 00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:06,765 Are you sure I shouldn't be there? 622 00:53:06,933 --> 00:53:10,728 For some picky reason, the Secret Service don't want the executive branch... 623 00:53:10,896 --> 00:53:14,815 ...and the legislative branch in the same room at the same time. 624 00:53:14,983 --> 00:53:17,902 The Martian ambassador is gonna say a few words. 625 00:53:18,445 --> 00:53:20,946 Come on down, Mr. Ambassador. 626 00:54:27,555 --> 00:54:28,681 Oh. 627 00:54:28,848 --> 00:54:31,016 Mr. Ambassador, please! 628 00:54:36,314 --> 00:54:39,441 Mr. Ambassador. What are you doing? This doesn't make sense! 629 00:54:39,609 --> 00:54:41,694 It's not logical! It's not-- 630 00:54:43,822 --> 00:54:45,197 Guess it wasn't the dove. 631 00:54:47,575 --> 00:54:48,993 Fire! 632 00:54:54,124 --> 00:54:55,541 They blew up Congress. 633 00:55:18,106 --> 00:55:20,316 What did they do that for? 634 00:55:20,483 --> 00:55:23,485 Maybe they don't liking the human being. 635 00:55:41,379 --> 00:55:42,755 Hello, gentlemen. 636 00:55:42,922 --> 00:55:47,092 Nice of you to come on such short notice. 637 00:55:48,136 --> 00:55:52,097 General Decker, it seems I owe you an apology. 638 00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:55,017 Hey, we all make mistakes, Mr. President. 639 00:55:55,185 --> 00:55:57,269 Not anymore. 640 00:55:57,812 --> 00:56:00,647 We're going to take charge of this thing. 641 00:56:00,815 --> 00:56:02,900 Excellent, sir. I have prepared the order. 642 00:56:03,943 --> 00:56:05,110 What's this? 643 00:56:05,278 --> 00:56:09,573 Oh, that's your executive order authorizing full use of our nuclear deterrent, sir. 644 00:56:12,118 --> 00:56:14,787 Are you out of your mind? I'm not going to start a war. 645 00:56:14,954 --> 00:56:16,455 We're already at war, sir. 646 00:56:16,623 --> 00:56:18,874 We have to nuke them. We have to nuke them now! 647 00:56:20,502 --> 00:56:24,004 General Decker, if you do not shut up... 648 00:56:24,172 --> 00:56:26,382 ...I'm going to relieve you of your command. 649 00:56:26,549 --> 00:56:28,384 We have to strike now, sir. 650 00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:30,969 Annihilate. Kill! Kill! Kill! 651 00:56:31,137 --> 00:56:34,765 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! 652 00:57:00,333 --> 00:57:01,875 Now... 653 00:57:03,336 --> 00:57:05,462 ...I want the people to know... 654 00:57:05,630 --> 00:57:10,008 ...that they still have two out of three branches of government working for them... 655 00:57:10,176 --> 00:57:11,885 ...and that ain't bad. 656 00:57:12,178 --> 00:57:17,349 I want the people to know that the schools will still be open, okay? 657 00:57:17,517 --> 00:57:19,852 And I want the people to know... 658 00:57:20,019 --> 00:57:23,147 ...that the garbage will still be carried out. 659 00:57:23,314 --> 00:57:26,483 And I want a cop on every corner. 660 00:57:26,651 --> 00:57:28,569 Which, incidentally... 661 00:57:28,736 --> 00:57:31,071 ...we would already have... 662 00:57:31,239 --> 00:57:34,575 ...if they had listened to me in the last election. 663 00:57:37,328 --> 00:57:38,745 Jerry... 664 00:57:38,913 --> 00:57:40,998 ...how soon can we go on the air? 665 00:57:44,002 --> 00:57:45,544 Uh.... 666 00:57:46,880 --> 00:57:49,423 My fellow Americans... 667 00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:51,633 ...it is with a heavy heart... 668 00:57:51,801 --> 00:57:55,637 ...that I speak to you this afternoon. As you know... 669 00:57:55,805 --> 00:58:00,767 ...earlier today the Martian ambassador and his confederates... 670 00:58:00,935 --> 00:58:07,524 ...attacked and killed many of your representatives on Capitol Hill. 671 00:58:07,692 --> 00:58:11,653 I will be conferring with other world leaders as time goes on. 672 00:58:11,821 --> 00:58:17,201 And rest assured that, working together... 673 00:58:17,368 --> 00:58:20,704 ...we will soon come out... 674 00:58:20,872 --> 00:58:24,875 ...at a very real outcome. 675 00:58:26,252 --> 00:58:27,794 Thank you. 676 00:58:34,969 --> 00:58:36,261 Hmm. 677 00:58:51,277 --> 00:58:52,694 Oh. 678 00:58:54,531 --> 00:58:56,281 Nathalie? 679 00:58:56,741 --> 00:58:58,825 Nathalie, is that you? 680 00:58:58,993 --> 00:59:01,620 Yes. How are you feeling? 681 00:59:03,790 --> 00:59:06,208 Not terribly good, I'm afraid. 682 00:59:07,919 --> 00:59:09,378 May I ask you a question? 683 00:59:09,921 --> 00:59:13,799 Mm. Yes. Yes, of course you can, Nathalie. 684 00:59:15,093 --> 00:59:17,636 Were you flirting with me on the show? 685 00:59:17,804 --> 00:59:20,472 Because if you were... 686 00:59:20,640 --> 00:59:24,643 ...I just want you to know that I liked it. 687 00:59:24,852 --> 00:59:28,063 Ha-ha. You did? Really? 688 00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:31,483 Because, you know, I've watched you on TV quite a bit... 689 00:59:31,651 --> 00:59:36,780 ...and, well, I've had something of a schoolboy crush on you for... 690 00:59:36,948 --> 00:59:39,992 ...oh, gosh, ages. 691 01:00:20,867 --> 01:00:24,369 Hi there. Are you interested in the White House? 692 01:00:29,626 --> 01:00:31,918 I work there. I'm the press secretary. 693 01:00:32,086 --> 01:00:33,253 My name's Jerry Ross. 694 01:00:34,213 --> 01:00:36,506 Maybe you've heard of me? 695 01:00:37,717 --> 01:00:40,510 You wouldn't believe the pressure of my job. 696 01:00:42,055 --> 01:00:44,097 It's nice to see a new face. 697 01:00:49,812 --> 01:00:53,273 Hey, are you doing anything? 698 01:00:53,441 --> 01:00:57,486 Because if you want, I could give you a personalized tour. 699 01:00:57,862 --> 01:00:59,613 Would you like that? 700 01:01:01,783 --> 01:01:05,285 Hey, Mitch, it's me. Can you let me in? 701 01:01:08,706 --> 01:01:10,707 Oh, hello, Mr. Ross. Sure. 702 01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:13,293 We're a little nervous here, after what happened. 703 01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:15,170 Exactly. 704 01:01:24,097 --> 01:01:27,432 Many great men and women have passed through here. 705 01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:30,143 Now we're passing through here. 706 01:01:30,311 --> 01:01:32,062 Feels good, don't it? 707 01:01:35,608 --> 01:01:37,901 You're very graceful. 708 01:01:38,403 --> 01:01:39,444 I like that. 709 01:01:47,286 --> 01:01:48,620 Come here. 710 01:02:09,058 --> 01:02:11,309 We call this the Kennedy Room. 711 01:02:15,356 --> 01:02:17,274 Pretty nifty, huh? 712 01:02:50,183 --> 01:02:52,851 So how's about a drink? 713 01:03:22,590 --> 01:03:25,217 Ah. Getting more comfortable, I see. 714 01:03:27,553 --> 01:03:29,513 Outstanding. 715 01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,070 How's my lady doing? 716 01:03:55,414 --> 01:03:58,166 Oh, missy, you're hot. 717 01:03:58,334 --> 01:04:00,961 But could we get that gum out of your mouth? 718 01:04:03,881 --> 01:04:05,340 Oh! 719 01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:08,552 My finger! 720 01:04:13,599 --> 01:04:16,601 Hello? Hello, operator? Operator, this is an emergency! 721 01:04:16,769 --> 01:04:18,854 Help! Please! 722 01:05:43,981 --> 01:05:45,357 Don't shoot. 723 01:05:49,445 --> 01:05:50,612 Don't worry, darling. 724 01:05:59,538 --> 01:06:00,622 Get down! 725 01:06:11,425 --> 01:06:13,635 -Thank you, Mitch. -It's my job. 726 01:06:14,136 --> 01:06:16,429 Jimmy. Aah! Jimmy. 727 01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:09,524 What's happening? 728 01:07:09,692 --> 01:07:15,405 They appear to be in a highly agitated state, Nathalie. And I don't know. 729 01:07:16,073 --> 01:07:17,532 I honestly don't know, Nathalie. 730 01:07:17,700 --> 01:07:20,577 I don't know what's going on anymore. This is frustrating. 731 01:07:20,745 --> 01:07:24,873 I'm just not feeling myself. Nathalie, if only I could hold you in my arms. 732 01:07:25,041 --> 01:07:28,501 Oh, Donald. I'm scared. 733 01:08:02,620 --> 01:08:04,704 Excuse me. But you said you wanted to know... 734 01:08:04,872 --> 01:08:06,956 ...as soon as we had an analysis of the gum. 735 01:08:07,124 --> 01:08:09,292 -What is it? -It's NO2. 736 01:08:09,460 --> 01:08:11,002 Highly concentrated. 737 01:08:11,170 --> 01:08:13,004 Nitrogen. 738 01:08:13,172 --> 01:08:17,675 So that's how it could breathe in our atmosphere. 739 01:08:19,011 --> 01:08:20,512 What's that noise? 740 01:08:52,711 --> 01:08:55,547 Theodore, I simply do not feel that Lincoln.... 741 01:08:56,048 --> 01:09:00,051 It's a full-scale invasion. Mr. President, we're gonna need to get you to safety. 742 01:09:05,558 --> 01:09:06,683 Can we go this way? 743 01:09:06,851 --> 01:09:09,686 Sorry, ma'am. There's a tour going through here. 744 01:09:09,854 --> 01:09:11,813 The Blue Room is often considered... 745 01:09:11,981 --> 01:09:13,815 ...the most beautiful room in the White House. 746 01:09:13,983 --> 01:09:17,110 In fact, it is often used by the president to receive guests. 747 01:09:17,278 --> 01:09:19,529 It is furnished to represent the period of James Monroe. 748 01:09:21,407 --> 01:09:22,740 Hey, what's that? 749 01:09:22,908 --> 01:09:26,786 That is a portrait of James Monroe. 750 01:09:41,510 --> 01:09:42,552 Go, go! 751 01:10:18,797 --> 01:10:20,173 -We lost Taffy. -Oh, no. 752 01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:28,348 Mr. President, please. Keep moving. We have to get you to the back stairs! 753 01:10:34,939 --> 01:10:36,439 The Nancy Reagan chandelier. 754 01:10:39,026 --> 01:10:40,485 Marsha! 755 01:10:42,571 --> 01:10:43,571 Marsha! 756 01:10:48,577 --> 01:10:50,370 Marsha? 757 01:10:55,960 --> 01:10:58,836 What are you guys gawking at? Get that president out of here! 758 01:11:05,219 --> 01:11:07,136 And I personally guarantee... 759 01:11:07,680 --> 01:11:10,056 ...that you will get a complete return on your investment... 760 01:11:11,684 --> 01:11:13,309 ...within five months. 761 01:11:13,477 --> 01:11:15,186 Mr. Land, excuse me, please. 762 01:11:15,354 --> 01:11:19,315 Just a second, Sheik Rakmula. 763 01:11:20,734 --> 01:11:26,739 Now, even in a time of so-called intergalactic emergency... 764 01:11:26,907 --> 01:11:31,995 ...the people still wanna roll them bones. 765 01:11:32,705 --> 01:11:34,414 Mr. Land. I believe-- 766 01:11:34,581 --> 01:11:36,499 Just five more minutes, Quinn. 767 01:11:37,334 --> 01:11:39,419 What I would like for you gentlemen to do... 768 01:11:39,586 --> 01:11:44,966 ...is to view our brand-new, state-of-the-art show room. 769 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:47,719 It is out of sight. 770 01:11:49,305 --> 01:11:51,222 Gentlemen. 771 01:11:54,310 --> 01:11:57,937 There is no way that we can lose. 772 01:12:01,191 --> 01:12:02,233 Whoa! 773 01:12:43,442 --> 01:12:48,613 It's not unusual to be loved by anyone 774 01:12:48,781 --> 01:12:53,785 It's not unusual to have fun with anyone 775 01:12:53,952 --> 01:12:58,456 But when I see you hanging about With anyone 776 01:12:59,124 --> 01:13:03,669 It's not unusual to see me cry 777 01:13:03,837 --> 01:13:06,422 I wanna die 778 01:13:06,757 --> 01:13:09,967 I've been trying to call you all day. The flight's been canceled. 779 01:13:10,135 --> 01:13:12,512 Byron, there's Martians everywhere. 780 01:13:13,889 --> 01:13:15,890 -Hello? -Byron! Byron! 781 01:13:16,058 --> 01:13:18,851 -I can't hear you! -Byron! 782 01:13:23,357 --> 01:13:24,732 I gotta get to Washington. 783 01:13:25,401 --> 01:13:27,151 Byron? 784 01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:31,864 Byron? Byron. Do you know anyone who can fly a plane? 785 01:13:32,032 --> 01:13:34,117 -Yeah, your husband, Art. -No, he's dead. 786 01:13:34,284 --> 01:13:38,121 I told him this was gonna happen. I even loaded a plane with supplies. 787 01:13:38,288 --> 01:13:42,708 I want to go to Tahoe, to the Tahoe caves. It's remote, the Martians won't find it. 788 01:13:42,876 --> 01:13:44,085 Well, where's the plane? 789 01:13:44,253 --> 01:13:47,004 Private airfield. Other side of the freeway. 790 01:13:47,172 --> 01:13:50,925 -You think they'll fly to Washington, D.C.? -Why? I wanna go to Tahoe. 791 01:13:51,593 --> 01:13:55,763 You'll find it happens All the time 792 01:13:55,931 --> 01:14:01,519 Love would never do What you want it to 793 01:14:01,687 --> 01:14:03,855 Why can't this crazy love 794 01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:08,818 Be mine 795 01:14:15,367 --> 01:14:16,492 Jesus Christ. 796 01:14:25,752 --> 01:14:27,879 Girls, get out! Get out! 797 01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:32,467 Get out! Get out! 798 01:14:36,430 --> 01:14:38,389 There's a Martian right behind me. 799 01:14:38,557 --> 01:14:40,391 Hey, you're Tom Jones, right? 800 01:14:40,726 --> 01:14:42,226 It ain't unusual 801 01:14:42,394 --> 01:14:44,729 Tom, Tom, can I have an autograph? Anybody got a pen? 802 01:15:04,249 --> 01:15:07,043 -Hey, that was a hell of a punch. -You'd better get that gun. 803 01:15:07,211 --> 01:15:08,920 -I'm Tom Jones. -Byron Williams. 804 01:15:09,087 --> 01:15:11,088 Hey, I saw you fight in Cardiff, Wales once. 805 01:15:11,256 --> 01:15:12,715 -Yeah? Hey, Barbara. -Yeah? 806 01:15:12,883 --> 01:15:14,133 You all right? 807 01:15:14,301 --> 01:15:16,427 -I need a drink. -You and me both, baby. 808 01:15:16,595 --> 01:15:18,888 -We better get out. -You know how to fly a plane? 809 01:15:19,056 --> 01:15:20,806 -Sure. You got one? -She has. 810 01:15:40,536 --> 01:15:43,079 Don't run, we are your friends. 811 01:16:14,194 --> 01:16:16,571 -Martians blew up the shop. -You're kidding me? 812 01:16:16,738 --> 01:16:18,614 -Should I get Grandma? -Forget Grandma. 813 01:16:18,782 --> 01:16:21,450 She's halfway to outer space already. Here, lock and load. 814 01:16:21,618 --> 01:16:24,787 I'll tell you one thing. They ain't getting the TV. 815 01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:31,669 The president of France on line two. 816 01:16:35,007 --> 01:16:38,509 Mr. President, the president of France is on line two. 817 01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:40,678 He says it's important. 818 01:16:46,059 --> 01:16:48,227 Hello, Maurice. 819 01:16:51,315 --> 01:16:54,025 I have some good news for you. The Martian ambassador is here. 820 01:16:54,192 --> 01:16:57,194 And we've negotiated a settlement. 821 01:16:58,697 --> 01:17:01,699 Maurice, get out of the room. Get out now. 822 01:17:48,205 --> 01:17:49,288 Mr. President. 823 01:17:51,917 --> 01:17:53,626 Mr. President. 824 01:17:53,794 --> 01:17:56,462 I need you to sign this. 825 01:18:01,259 --> 01:18:02,510 What is it? 826 01:18:02,678 --> 01:18:05,137 My last will and testament? 827 01:18:05,305 --> 01:18:09,266 It is an order to deploy our nuclear capability, sir. 828 01:18:17,150 --> 01:18:21,821 Three, two, one, fire. 829 01:19:21,339 --> 01:19:23,007 What the hell was that? 830 01:21:05,026 --> 01:21:06,068 Look! 831 01:21:13,952 --> 01:21:15,494 What was that? 832 01:21:17,080 --> 01:21:19,164 -Where you going? -To go get Grandma. 833 01:21:19,332 --> 01:21:21,333 No, you ain't. Stay and defend this trailer. 834 01:21:21,501 --> 01:21:23,502 That's what Billy Glenn would've done. 835 01:21:23,670 --> 01:21:27,339 -You leave, you're disgracing a hero. -I don't care. I'm gonna go get Grandma. 836 01:21:27,507 --> 01:21:30,509 -Boy! -Richie, come back here! 837 01:21:43,189 --> 01:21:44,565 What in the hell is that? 838 01:21:51,990 --> 01:21:53,949 Hey! Cut it out! 839 01:21:59,497 --> 01:22:00,623 Stop it! 840 01:22:09,633 --> 01:22:11,008 -This way. -No, this way. 841 01:22:13,303 --> 01:22:16,388 Bullshit! The airfield's over there! 842 01:22:21,144 --> 01:22:24,146 Hey. Hey, just because you're dressed like King Tut... 843 01:22:24,314 --> 01:22:27,524 ...doesn't mean you're our leader. Look at this. This is wrong! 844 01:22:27,692 --> 01:22:31,111 We're lost. He led us down a maze. I'm going back to the hotel. 845 01:22:31,279 --> 01:22:33,030 -Come on, this way! -Wait! 846 01:22:33,198 --> 01:22:36,367 -No, wait! Where are you going? -Come on, Barbara. 847 01:22:36,534 --> 01:22:38,786 I like him. I do. 848 01:22:44,000 --> 01:22:48,003 Assholes. Why did I listen to them? I should have stayed in the hotel. 849 01:22:48,546 --> 01:22:50,047 Shit! 850 01:22:52,926 --> 01:22:54,343 I surrender, okay? 851 01:22:54,970 --> 01:22:57,096 You understand what that means? Surrender? 852 01:22:58,598 --> 01:23:00,975 Lookit. You're intelligent beings. 853 01:23:01,685 --> 01:23:03,852 Let's cut a deal. I can help you. 854 01:23:04,020 --> 01:23:05,771 I'm a lawyer. 855 01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:09,191 You want to conquer the world, you're gonna need lawyers, right? 856 01:23:10,819 --> 01:23:12,653 Here. 857 01:23:12,821 --> 01:23:14,989 You want my watch? 858 01:23:15,156 --> 01:23:17,491 Take it. Take it. Go on. It's a Rolex. 859 01:23:18,743 --> 01:23:20,869 Rolex. 860 01:23:28,294 --> 01:23:31,088 -Nice shot. -Yeah, pity I was too late. 861 01:23:31,256 --> 01:23:35,259 Barbara, can I have the gun back, please? Barbara, give me the gun and come on! 862 01:24:50,043 --> 01:24:51,502 Grandma! 863 01:24:59,177 --> 01:25:00,636 Oh, my God. 864 01:25:10,897 --> 01:25:12,856 When I'm calling you 865 01:25:13,024 --> 01:25:17,111 Richie, I think these guys are very sick. 866 01:25:18,154 --> 01:25:21,406 What's happening to them? What's killing them? 867 01:25:22,242 --> 01:25:24,535 I think it must be my music. 868 01:25:27,956 --> 01:25:30,415 Ho! Shh! Shh. 869 01:25:32,585 --> 01:25:33,919 Quiet. 870 01:26:25,471 --> 01:26:27,890 You think you can do anything you want. 871 01:26:28,057 --> 01:26:29,433 Well, you can't. 872 01:26:29,601 --> 01:26:34,146 You see, because we are human beings. 873 01:26:34,314 --> 01:26:38,692 And we have the United States Army... 874 01:26:38,860 --> 01:26:44,531 ...that'll fight you to the last man. And we'll never surrender. 875 01:26:48,786 --> 01:26:49,953 Do you hear me? 876 01:26:50,121 --> 01:26:52,998 We'll fight you on the beaches. We'll fight you on the street. 877 01:26:53,166 --> 01:26:55,667 We will never, never surrender. 878 01:26:55,835 --> 01:27:00,214 Old Glory will win! Democracy will survive! 879 01:27:00,381 --> 01:27:04,051 We will never, ever surrender! 880 01:27:04,219 --> 01:27:08,597 We will win! The eagle will be triumphant! 881 01:27:10,475 --> 01:27:11,892 No. 882 01:27:37,669 --> 01:27:41,880 Why are you doing this? 883 01:27:43,341 --> 01:27:44,925 Why? 884 01:27:45,802 --> 01:27:48,971 Isn’t the universe big enough... 885 01:27:49,138 --> 01:27:51,265 ...for both of us? 886 01:27:54,727 --> 01:27:56,937 What is wrong with you people? 887 01:27:59,816 --> 01:28:01,817 We could work together. 888 01:28:02,694 --> 01:28:04,736 Why be enemies? 889 01:28:05,863 --> 01:28:07,698 Because we're different? 890 01:28:08,700 --> 01:28:10,200 Is that why? 891 01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:17,291 Think of the things that we could do. 892 01:28:18,626 --> 01:28:21,837 Think how strong we would be. 893 01:28:23,339 --> 01:28:25,382 Earth... 894 01:28:25,550 --> 01:28:27,801 ...and Mars... 895 01:28:28,720 --> 01:28:29,761 ...together. 896 01:28:32,557 --> 01:28:35,892 There is nothing that we could not accomplish. 897 01:28:36,352 --> 01:28:38,228 Think about it. 898 01:28:40,148 --> 01:28:42,190 Think about it. 899 01:28:43,735 --> 01:28:45,193 Why destroy... 900 01:28:45,903 --> 01:28:48,238 ...when you can create? 901 01:28:49,699 --> 01:28:51,992 We can have it all... 902 01:28:52,285 --> 01:28:55,871 ...or we can smash it all. 903 01:28:58,291 --> 01:29:02,627 Why can't we work out our differences? 904 01:29:03,504 --> 01:29:08,383 Why can't we work things out? 905 01:29:10,636 --> 01:29:12,971 Little people... 906 01:29:15,099 --> 01:29:20,270 ...why can't we all just get along? 907 01:29:46,964 --> 01:29:48,715 What's this? 908 01:30:26,337 --> 01:30:29,005 Don't run. We are your friends. 909 01:30:30,883 --> 01:30:33,260 Don't run. We are your friends. 910 01:30:46,858 --> 01:30:48,984 Next stop, radio station. 911 01:30:51,529 --> 01:30:53,363 There it is. 912 01:30:53,698 --> 01:30:55,115 Let's move it! 913 01:31:13,134 --> 01:31:14,759 Here it is. 914 01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:17,721 Go get it started. Barbara, go with him. 915 01:31:17,889 --> 01:31:20,056 -Okay. -Cindy, come with me. 916 01:31:35,448 --> 01:31:38,325 Tom. Are you sure you can fly this? 917 01:31:38,493 --> 01:31:40,577 Yeah, I think so, yeah. 918 01:31:43,122 --> 01:31:44,498 Who put that on? 919 01:31:45,416 --> 01:31:48,502 -It's stuck. -Cindy, over here. 920 01:31:55,009 --> 01:31:56,801 Shit. 921 01:31:56,969 --> 01:31:59,137 They haven't seen us yet. Come here. 922 01:32:00,056 --> 01:32:02,849 -Cindy. Get in the plane. -What? 923 01:32:03,017 --> 01:32:04,809 I'm staying. I'll distract them. 924 01:32:04,977 --> 01:32:07,187 The first chance you get, you take off. 925 01:32:07,355 --> 01:32:09,856 -I'm not leaving you. -Just do it. 926 01:32:10,024 --> 01:32:11,608 I'll draw them away. Now, go. 927 01:32:11,776 --> 01:32:14,444 -No. -I said, go! 928 01:32:19,450 --> 01:32:21,034 Oh, my God. 929 01:32:21,953 --> 01:32:24,079 -What's he doing? -He must have flipped! 930 01:32:24,247 --> 01:32:27,290 -He's going to throw them off. -Yeah, but we can't leave him. 931 01:32:30,878 --> 01:32:34,297 No weapon. No clown outfit. 932 01:32:34,465 --> 01:32:36,299 Just me! 933 01:32:36,467 --> 01:32:38,468 Byron Williams... 934 01:32:38,636 --> 01:32:40,679 ...heavyweight champion... 935 01:32:41,472 --> 01:32:43,139 ...of the world. 936 01:33:53,919 --> 01:33:55,962 Something's happened. 937 01:33:56,130 --> 01:33:58,214 Something's happened to Byron. 938 01:34:15,024 --> 01:34:17,859 When I'm calling you 939 01:34:27,953 --> 01:34:30,080 Will you answer too 940 01:34:39,090 --> 01:34:43,927 That means I offer my love 941 01:35:02,780 --> 01:35:06,074 Our love will come true 942 01:35:08,994 --> 01:35:12,080 You belong to me 943 01:35:12,248 --> 01:35:18,628 I belong to you 944 01:35:20,631 --> 01:35:23,883 Goodbye, my darling. I wish things could've been different. 945 01:35:24,051 --> 01:35:25,593 So do I. 946 01:35:31,308 --> 01:35:32,809 Goodbye. 947 01:35:32,977 --> 01:35:36,438 -I love you. -I love you too, Nathalie. 948 01:37:11,951 --> 01:37:13,368 Florence Norris... 949 01:37:13,536 --> 01:37:16,538 ...I hereby present to you the Congressional Medal of Honor... 950 01:37:16,705 --> 01:37:19,082 ...the highest decoration our nation can bestow. 951 01:37:21,085 --> 01:37:24,546 Thank you, honey. But don't you dare let this happen again. 952 01:37:26,131 --> 01:37:27,841 Richard Norris... 953 01:37:28,008 --> 01:37:31,219 ...on behalf of my parents, who couldn't be here today... 954 01:37:31,387 --> 01:37:33,596 ...for saving the world from the Martians... 955 01:37:33,764 --> 01:37:36,599 ...I proudly present to you the Medal of Honor. 956 01:37:36,767 --> 01:37:38,935 You don't have to kiss me if you don't want to. 957 01:37:39,728 --> 01:37:41,521 I have to. 958 01:37:44,233 --> 01:37:46,484 I prepared a speech. Is that all right? 959 01:37:47,570 --> 01:37:49,320 Sure, that's very appropriate. 960 01:37:54,201 --> 01:37:56,077 Hi, everybody. 961 01:37:56,912 --> 01:37:58,288 First, I just want to say-- 962 01:37:58,455 --> 01:38:01,291 Can you speak up? We can't hear you. 963 01:38:01,458 --> 01:38:04,627 Well, I want to say that there's a lot of people in the world... 964 01:38:04,795 --> 01:38:07,255 ...that have, like, done a lot more than I have... 965 01:38:07,423 --> 01:38:12,302 ...and they're the ones that should be here now getting a medal. 966 01:38:13,637 --> 01:38:18,224 And I want to thank my grandma for always being so good to me... 967 01:38:18,392 --> 01:38:22,270 ...and for helping save the world and everything. 968 01:38:22,438 --> 01:38:25,815 So I guess, like, now we just have to... 969 01:38:25,983 --> 01:38:29,986 ...start over and start rebuilding everything, like our houses. 970 01:38:30,154 --> 01:38:33,907 But I was thinking, maybe instead of houses, we could live in tepees... 971 01:38:34,074 --> 01:38:37,827 ...because it's better in a lot of ways. 972 01:38:41,290 --> 01:38:44,292 Okay, that's all I have to say. Thanks. 973 01:38:46,003 --> 01:38:48,880 -Was that okay? -Yeah. 974 01:38:49,048 --> 01:38:50,798 Do you got a girlfriend? 975 01:38:50,966 --> 01:38:52,550 No. 976 01:38:53,302 --> 01:38:56,804 Guys, come on. Give me a break. Go on in there and start cleaning your room. 977 01:38:56,972 --> 01:39:00,016 I can't do all this by myself. Please? Look at you. 978 01:40:17,678 --> 01:40:18,720 Yeah.