1
00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,404
Sweetheart.
2
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:14,967
Mmm?
3
00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,401
Go over to
the window right now
4
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,007
and open it as
wide as you can.
5
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,044
Please let me sleep.
6
00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:38,767
I think your
mother's here from Mexico,
7
00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,605
and she needs to leave.
8
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,729
Open the window now.
9
00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,491
Why don't you
open it, you lazy...
10
00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:52,971
Somebody help!
11
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:56,724
Close your mouth!
12
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,647
No way. Can I ride him?
13
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,484
A deer!
14
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,562
Okay.
15
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,807
Daddy,
I left the front door open
16
00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,082
in case any animals
wanted to come in.
17
00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,491
You did, huh?
And one did.
18
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,329
Yeah.
Yeah, one crazy-ass one.
19
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:50,244
Oh, no, you did a nice thing,
sweetheart.
20
00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:52,004
Greg, I'm gonna need a bat!
21
00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,525
Daddy,no!
22
00:02:53,640 --> 00:02:55,005
No, no, I'm not
going to hit the deer.
23
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:58,004
I'm just going to massage his
head for a little bit with it.
24
00:02:58,080 --> 00:03:00,208
Okay, come on, come on.
25
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,285
He's right here.
26
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:10,203
He's eating Bowser's food.
27
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,361
Shh.
28
00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:12,930
Okay, he knows we're here now.
29
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:15,128
Stay. Stay.
30
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,409
What's he looking at?
31
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:21,883
Move your doll towards me.
32
00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:23,121
And back to you.
33
00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,969
Towards me.
34
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,769
Back to you.
35
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,126
Three times, fast.
36
00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,770
Give me that thing.
37
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,126
Mr. Gigglesworth?
38
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,571
No, don't worry.
Give it to me.
39
00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:37,607
Go on. It's okay.
It's okay.
40
00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,727
Put it in my hand.
41
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,131
Roxanne, take them in there.
42
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:41,969
Over there.
43
00:03:42,040 --> 00:03:45,169
Hey, dude.
You like this guy?
44
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,601
Huh?
45
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:47,966
You want to play with him?
46
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,843
All right, let's go
play in the other room.
47
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,804
Come on. Come on, man.
48
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,405
Slowly walk with me.
49
00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,050
I said slowly.
50
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,121
No.
51
00:03:59,880 --> 00:04:00,927
Ah!Ah!
52
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,047
Get out of the way!
53
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,808
Oh, my God!
54
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,009
Problem solved.
55
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,361
Mr. Gigglesworth!
Daddy, he's killing him!
56
00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,364
A new problem begins.
57
00:04:16,720 --> 00:04:18,165
I'm sorry.
58
00:04:18,640 --> 00:04:20,165
Is that your bra, Mrs. Feder?
59
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,204
Easy.
60
00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:25,281
Ew.
61
00:04:26,440 --> 00:04:27,566
It is nice.
62
00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:29,244
Thank you, all right.
Cool, yeah.
63
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,560
Yeah, come on.
64
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,962
28?
65
00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:39,408
Yes.
66
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:43,403
35.
67
00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:46,928
That's right again,
smarty-pants.
68
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,281
Hi, Dad.
69
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:49,691
Hey, Bean,
working on the math, huh?
70
00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,086
Yep-
71
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,243
Mommy said if I get all
my math questions right,
72
00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,807
I get to ride my bike to
school with Becky Feder.
73
00:04:56,920 --> 00:05:01,130
Really? Okay, Bean, well,
what's seven plus nine?
74
00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:02,690
Seventy-nine.
75
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:05,642
Is he a little boy
or a computer?
76
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,882
'Cause
I can't figure it out.
77
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,607
Don't destroy his confidence.
78
00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:12,284
Happy summer, everybody.
79
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,481
Whoa.
80
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,485
Okay, you sure you want to go
with those boots, honey?
81
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:19,289
I know you
bedazzled them yourself.
82
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,203
I'm just wondering
if they'll attract
83
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:24,284
too much attention,
you know, from outer space.
84
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,169
It's the last day of school,
85
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:27,890
and Mom says I'm
free to express myself.
86
00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:31,448
Oh, building the confidence
right here with R2-D2.
87
00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:35,567
Confidence. K-O-B-R-Q-V-Y.
88
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:36,687
Confidence.
89
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,171
Well, we're not gonna have to
pay for college.
90
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,049
That's for sure.
91
00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:42,646
Well, looks like a horse took
a dump in Ronnie's diaper.
92
00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:46,007
You're gonna need federal aid
to clean that up.
93
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,562
Ronnie, honey, did a doo-doo
grenade go off in your diaper?
94
00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,971
You gonna change it?
95
00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:52,485
That's not my son,
that's your son.
96
00:05:52,560 --> 00:05:55,450
Ah ha ha! Yesterday
was my diaper day.
97
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,128
Today he is all yours, and
it's gonna get nasty. Whoo!
98
00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,249
Go, Ronnie.
99
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,209
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
- Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
100
00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:05,486
He looks like Nicki Minaj
101
00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,040
trying to shake her butt
implants back into place.
102
00:06:08,120 --> 00:06:09,326
Go, Ronnie, go, Ronnie.
103
00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,726
Come on, Ronnie.
104
00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:12,040
Go, Ronnie.
105
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:13,724
You got a lot of
appointments today, sweetie?
106
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:15,370
Nah, just one repair job.
107
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:16,771
Very special.
108
00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,524
All right, I'm going in.
109
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,522
What is...
110
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:28,964
What is this?
111
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,564
A necklace?
112
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,201
Happy 20th anniversary, babe.
113
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:36,328
Wow, Dad, you remembered.
114
00:06:38,240 --> 00:06:40,288
Oh, yeah.
115
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,448
Mom didn't.
116
00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,046
Oh! That's cold.
117
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:48,568
I think I'm gonna
bust out of here.
118
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,563
So he gets off
the train and nobody's there?
119
00:06:50,680 --> 00:06:52,728
Braden needs to spend
at least one summer with you
120
00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:56,247
so he can say he has a dad,
you deadbeat, Higgins.
121
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:57,606
Well, not to be mean,
122
00:06:57,680 --> 00:07:00,331
but I'm not even
1,000% sure who you are.
123
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,763
I was up from Florida.
124
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,046
Right in
the middle of making out,
125
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:07,044
I got a really bad
case of the hiccups.
126
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:09,122
Hiccups McGee?
127
00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:13,643
Oh, my God, I have a kid I don't
know about with Hiccups McGee?
128
00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,449
And no offense,
but I'm gonna have to ask
129
00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:16,726
for a DNA test, you know,
130
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:19,326
because you just never...
131
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,128
No need.
132
00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,850
Later, Hiccups.
133
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,325
You're him.
134
00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,483
Yeah, without the hat.
135
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,722
It's actually a good likeness.
136
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,201
How you doing, man?
137
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:48,526
I'm your dad.
138
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,406
Nice to see you, Braden.
139
00:07:51,720 --> 00:07:53,404
That's strike one.
140
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:56,044
Good news is, you get...
141
00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:57,969
Unlimited amount of strikes.
142
00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,401
Um...
143
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,164
How about I
take you to school?
144
00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,403
No school.
145
00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,164
Summertime.
Oh.
146
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,891
Not yet. One more day.
I know, it's a drag.
147
00:08:07,960 --> 00:08:10,531
Normally I'd let you just
blow it off and play hooky,
148
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,887
but I'm volunteering
at the soup kitchen today,
149
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,530
so when I'm done,
150
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:16,887
I'll come pick you
up and we'll hang out.
151
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,405
I got you this, but...
152
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:21,689
Obviously you're,
like, 13, so I don't know,
153
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,205
but it's actually pretty nice
154
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,647
and cute, and you should
out the head off it, okay.
155
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:29,126
Well, let's get going.
156
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,805
Yo, yo,
yo, yo, don't forget this.
157
00:08:30,920 --> 00:08:32,365
Is it a gift?
158
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,681
No, it's the Gigglesworth
massacre.
159
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,888
I told Becky you could
sew it back together for her.
160
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,166
What?
161
00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:40,208
Martha Stewart
couldn't fix this.
162
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,361
Come on.
163
00:08:41,440 --> 00:08:45,365
Oh, but you're such a good daddy
for picking up all the pieces.
164
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,044
That's why I've been thinking,
165
00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,690
we moved back
here to your hometown
166
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,366
so we could have more quality
time with our family, right?
167
00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:52,601
That's right.
168
00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:56,726
How would you
feel about expanding?
169
00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:57,801
Having another kid?
170
00:08:57,920 --> 00:08:58,967
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
171
00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:02,727
Oh, but it's perfect
right now, you know?
172
00:09:02,800 --> 00:09:05,201
If I buy one large pizza,
Greg gets two pieces,
173
00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,931
Keith gets two, Becky gets
one, you get one, I get four.
174
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,240
It's kind of perfect,
you know.
175
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:10,850
I don't want to have
to buy another pie.
176
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,527
Why don't you go on a diet,
fat gordo éste?
177
00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:16,449
Come on, I've had
a job since I'm 16.
178
00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,443
It's the first time
I've got a free schedule.
179
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,090
I'm just enjoying the fun.
180
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,731
Don't forget Becky's
ballet recital at 11:00.
181
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,684
I got to go to that?
182
00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,967
I mean, I get to
go to that? Great.
183
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:30,767
I'm saying, that's... I thought it was sold out.
That's great news.
184
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,964
Have the best last day of
school, my gorgeous children!
185
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,326
I love you all!
186
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:36,845
Bye, Mom.
Bye, Mom, bye.
187
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,048
Yeah,
last day of school, Greg.
188
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:41,083
Last chance to ask
out Nancy Arbuckle.
189
00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,242
Nancy Arbuckle... What's that?
You like a girl?
190
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,766
Is that why you've been taking
them long showers?
191
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,365
No, I'm conditioning
my hair.
192
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,051
That's all I do in the shower...
Condition my hair.
193
00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,360
That's not what
the deer told me.
194
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:52,646
That deer's a liar.
195
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,083
I heard too much conditioning
can make you go blind.
196
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,531
What? Where'd you hear that?
197
00:09:58,600 --> 00:09:59,681
Higgins.
198
00:09:59,840 --> 00:10:00,887
I should kill him.
199
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,844
He's too chicken
to ask her out, Dad,
200
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:04,564
'cause she's
the hottest girl in school,
201
00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:05,721
and Greg is fugly.
202
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,280
So what he's fugly? All the
guys in our family are fugly.
203
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,203
That don't stop us from
getting the hot chicks.
204
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:13,250
Look at me and look at your mother.
I mean, it makes no sense.
205
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:14,924
Only in, like, a Hollywood
movie or something.
206
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,729
Every guy in
school likes her, Dad.
207
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:18,046
And you'll be the guy
who ends up with her.
208
00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,885
You know why? You're gonna
follow my three-step program.
209
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:23,440
Number one,
make the girl smile.
210
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:25,801
Number two, tell her
she has a nice smile.
211
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:29,248
Number three, say she has to
go out with you that night.
212
00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:30,287
Why that night?
213
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:32,721
'Cause it gives her less time to
think about how fugly you are.
214
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:33,961
'Cause you are fugly.
215
00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,724
That's the stupidest
thing I ever heard.
216
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,088
And Keithie's right... I'm too
chicken to even talk to her.
217
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:42,170
Hey, you're a Feder. Feders
ain't afraid of women, buddy.
218
00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,890
That's not
the way I'm raising you.
219
00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,167
Oh, by the way, Dad, did you ask
Mom if I can play football?
220
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:47,571
No, I was scared.
221
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:49,085
I'm afraid she's
gonna yell at me
222
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,685
in that accent that
no one understands.
223
00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:52,683
Come on, Becky, it's 8:00.
224
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,325
School starts at 8:15.
225
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:57,563
That means we
only have 25 minutes.
226
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:03,766
Daddy, you promise Mr. Gigglesworth
will be better by bedtime?
227
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,491
Will you stop worrying about him?
He'll be fine. I love you.
228
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,329
Have the best last day, okay?
Okay.
229
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,526
Bye, guys.
Bye. Daddy.
230
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,647
Love you.
231
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,807
And you read
the street signs, okay?
232
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,041
Don't let Bean.
233
00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:16,164
My God,
riding their bikes to school.
234
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,846
Couldn't do that in L.A.
with the nuts out there.
235
00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:21,730
Yeah, 'cause thank God there's
no crazy people out here.
236
00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:29,480
How you doing, Nick?
237
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:33,042
My wife's leaving
me after three weeks.
238
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,487
Three weeks?
That's not bad for you.
239
00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,005
What happened?
240
00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,448
She found me eating
a banana with my butt.
241
00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:42,369
Ah. And she didn't like that?
242
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,522
Yeah,
she got really bummed out,
243
00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,689
but, you know, I shouldn't have
done it at her mom's house.
244
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:49,404
Yeah, you...
245
00:11:49,560 --> 00:11:51,164
You seem like you're a little
extra out of it today.
246
00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:52,366
What's going on?
247
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:53,766
Yeah, I'm a little medicated.
248
00:11:53,840 --> 00:11:56,844
I met a very reliable doctor
at a Cypress Hill concert,
249
00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:59,730
and he floated me a couple pills
just to feel better, you know.
250
00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:00,801
But I
don't feel better!
251
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:02,530
You feel worse!
252
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,122
Ladies and gentlemen,
meet your new bus driver.
253
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:15,290
Finally got yourself a job.
254
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,647
Actually I'm filling in for
Drool-io lglesias back there.
255
00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,849
Hey,
Deanne, happy anniversary.
256
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,162
Oh! Thank you, Lenny.
257
00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:30,085
Lenny remembered.
Isn't that sweet?
258
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,366
And I never got him pregnant.
259
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:32,726
She forgot?
260
00:12:32,840 --> 00:12:34,001
Yeah, she forgot.
261
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,246
No.
262
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,607
I got the biggest get-out-of-jail-free
card in the world.
263
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:39,170
I want one of those.
264
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,765
Oh, you ain't never get one
like this. Hey, honey,
265
00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:43,081
I'm gonna take
a ride to work with Lenny.
266
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,810
Don't worry about
forgetting the 20th.
267
00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,524
I'm sure you'll
remember the 30th.
268
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,763
I love you.
269
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,571
Yeah, sure you do...
Deep down.
270
00:12:58,040 --> 00:12:59,963
That's not another
necklace in there, is it?
271
00:13:04,160 --> 00:13:06,606
I'm gonna abuse this
get-out-of-jail-free card,
272
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,085
I'm telling you right now.
273
00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:11,369
I mean, maybe I'll walk on the good
rug without taking off my boots.
274
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:12,441
Oh!
275
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:15,370
Or have a nice
non-diet soda with my dinner.
276
00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:17,164
Not just one, either,
277
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:18,401
a whole damn pitcher.
278
00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,363
Oh, so you're going full gangsta.
Oh, yeah.
279
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:22,124
But you know what
I'd really like to do?
280
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:23,611
Throw a "first
night of summer" party.
281
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,085
Yeah. You know, something
a little crazy.
282
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,645
Well,
it's been many, many years
283
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:28,205
since we've done
something crazy.
284
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,645
Just one problem, though.
285
00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:31,370
My house isn't big enough.
286
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,044
But yours is.
287
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,691
Last party I had was senior
year in high school.
288
00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,683
Yeah, that was, like,
the best night of my life.
289
00:13:37,760 --> 00:13:38,761
We all hooked up with chicks.
290
00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:40,644
Come on,
why not do that again?
291
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,007
Because we already
have chicks and kids
292
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:45,407
and high
cholesterol now, so just...
293
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:47,528
It's time to move on. You want
to come over tonight with Dee,
294
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:48,840
that's fine... I think.
295
00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:50,126
I got to ask my wife first.
296
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,123
Okay, gangsta.
297
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,001
Hey, hey, where'd you get
those shoes, Losers "R" Us?
298
00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:58,127
I made them.
299
00:13:58,200 --> 00:13:59,645
You made them?
300
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,245
In a toilet?
301
00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,649
That kid's like
white Precious.
302
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,007
Get lost, Duffy.
303
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,445
Yeah, leave her alone.
304
00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,522
Hey,
what'd you say, Hollywood?
305
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:11,806
You got
something to say to me?
306
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,160
Nothing, nothing, nothing.
307
00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:16,403
Attention, Kmart shoppers,
let's find a seat, please.
308
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:17,845
Yes,
you in the camouflage jacket
309
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,564
and Mariah Carey hairdo.
310
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,041
Yeah,
just pop a squat, thank you.
311
00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:25,488
You're lucky your dad's here,
but he won't be here all day.
312
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,561
Leave me alone.
313
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:28,688
Beanbag with arms and legs,
314
00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:30,046
seriously, take a seat,
315
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,043
or seats,
before someone gets hurt.
316
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,123
You're dead, man.
317
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,723
I'm gonna go get
some things done,
318
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,644
and then I'm gonna go to my
daughter's ballet recital,
319
00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,722
so you're on your
own until lunchtime.
320
00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,928
Oh, no worries.
No one will come in anyway.
321
00:14:56,840 --> 00:14:58,842
Right.
322
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,407
Does Leonard
ever talk about me?
323
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:03,925
Leonard?
324
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:04,967
Your husband.
325
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,610
Oh, Lenny.
326
00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,968
I probably should have told you
this before I started working here,
327
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:13,044
but he used to
be my boyfriend.
328
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,441
Oh.
329
00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,762
When did you guys go out?
330
00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:19,921
Sixth grade.
331
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,601
This one time,
332
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:25,526
we split a piece of bubble gum at recess.
333
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,604
I brought in a note
334
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:35,129
that he sent me, and I
thought you should see it.
335
00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:38,044
I just felt weird
having a secret with you.
336
00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,250
"Do you like my hair better
in a barrette or a headband?"
337
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,446
That's what I wrote.
338
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,249
"Barrette."
339
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,209
And that was his response.
340
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,643
Does it bother you
that I still wear it?
341
00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,281
Oh, no, no, no,
I think it's sweet.
342
00:16:02,760 --> 00:16:04,842
I think he still
has feelings for me.
343
00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:06,850
I'm gonna go work out now.
344
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,491
Do you really think
that a tight, toned body
345
00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,801
will keep him away
from his Hubba Bubba baby?
346
00:16:11,880 --> 00:16:14,963
I hope so. Bye.
347
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,447
You just messed with
the wrong girl, chica!
348
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,447
They spray-painted my baby.
349
00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:25,170
Gee, and
everything's spelled right.
350
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:26,924
These can't be my students.
351
00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:29,441
Oh!
352
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,720
Have a nice day, Rapunzel.
353
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,485
Hey,
guys, can you believe this?
354
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:38,369
Calendar turns to June,
355
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:40,886
my wonderful students,
they become animals.
356
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:42,564
Maybe they're just
mad that you keep going
357
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,130
to the babyGap to
buy your clothes.
358
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,168
Hey, Principal Tardio,
good morning.
359
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:47,969
Right to class,
right to class.
360
00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,811
How was your last ride in
before the summer, Nick?
361
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,363
Remember,
today is only a half a day.
362
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:57,169
And a half a shirt, right?
What?
363
00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,083
I said he wants to wave good-bye to you.
Oh, okay.
364
00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:00,764
Here he goes.
365
00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,524
I'm excited about the summer,
too.
366
00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,682
Hey, that's my laptop!
That's not waterproof!
367
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:06,091
Monkey boy, monkey boy.
368
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,486
Summer!
369
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:08,527
Monkey boy.
370
00:17:08,600 --> 00:17:09,601
Summer!
371
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,411
Summer! Summer!
372
00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:15,609
So, what do you think?
373
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,290
Do I take you
straight to work?
374
00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:19,647
I got one
appointment I got to get to
375
00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,041
sometime between 8:00 a.m.
and 4:00 p.m.
376
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,201
Okay.
But she can wait.
377
00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:25,442
Good. And look at this.
378
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,284
He's back at it again.
379
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:28,811
Why isn't he at work?
380
00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:31,406
He's just...
This woman has a grip on him.
381
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,000
It's ridiculous.
It's gonna ruin his marriage.
382
00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:36,769
Thank you for breakfast,
Mommy.
383
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,844
Will you be coming by to watch
Days of Our Lives later?
384
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,442
Well, we got to find out which
twin murdered Renaldo, right?
385
00:17:43,520 --> 00:17:44,806
We sure do.
386
00:17:44,880 --> 00:17:46,325
Mmm-hmm.
387
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:48,050
- Okay.
- Hey, Mrs. Lamonsoff,
388
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:49,121
good to see you.
389
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,407
Nice school bus, Lenny.
390
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,164
Thank you. Have a great day.
391
00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:55,049
Did Mommy make
the boo-boo go away?
392
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:56,849
Don't tell the wife.
393
00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:58,046
What are you guys doing?
394
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,849
Get in.
395
00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,962
Oh, hey, Nick.
396
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,121
Nice. Nice.
397
00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:05,565
Let's hit it.
398
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:07,483
Watch this.
399
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,083
on!
400
00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,207
Wow.
401
00:18:12,360 --> 00:18:13,441
You got to respect that.
402
00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:14,521
That was awesome.
403
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,848
What's Lenny's problem? They're
so cute when they're little.
404
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:21,128
I know. I miss it.
405
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,771
Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie.
406
00:18:26,360 --> 00:18:28,044
You miss that? Really?
407
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:30,562
Stay. Stay.
408
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:31,926
Don't you growl at me.
409
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,081
Stay, baby, Stay-
410
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,286
Excuse me.
411
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:36,442
Is your kid gonna be in here
when the instructor comes in?
412
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,965
That's not my kid.
413
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:40,850
That's my lover,
and he's very gentle.
414
00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:45,602
Kids don't belong in here.
415
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,364
That leash
better not trip me up.
416
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:48,925
Leash isn't gonna trip you up.
417
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:52,083
It's your big-ass, hairy man
feet that are gonna trip you up.
418
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,729
She was just
joking around, sir.
419
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,484
Cool it.
You're gonna get us killed.
420
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:01,086
I'm sorry.
I'm having the worst day.
421
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,407
Welcome to Squat Fitness,
ladies.
422
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,644
Apparently your new instructor's
running a bit late.
423
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:08,484
I'm sorry.
It's only five till...
424
00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,404
Yeah, so he asked me to lead
you in some warm-up exercises.
425
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,649
So,
everybody, up on your feet,
426
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,291
and let's take a deep breath.
427
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:18,646
Good.
428
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,967
Deeper... Really
stretch out those lungs.
429
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:22,201
And now let's shimmy.
430
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:23,645
Shake
the shoulders back and forth.
431
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:25,449
Shake them.
432
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,244
Very good, very good.
433
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,926
Yeah, oh, yeah.
434
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,446
Now let's do some
jackhammer squats.
435
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:35,007
Right, put your hands in front
of you like this. Just relax.
436
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,923
And then squat up
and down but fast.
437
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,570
Faster, faster, there you go.
438
00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:39,641
Really fast.
439
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:41,324
Faster, faster.
440
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,243
Too fast.
Do it a little slower.
441
00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:44,606
Now, everybody turn,
442
00:19:44,680 --> 00:19:47,126
face the back of the room,
bend over,
443
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,690
and reach for your toes.
444
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:49,807
Why do we have to turn around?
445
00:19:49,880 --> 00:19:51,041
If you please.
446
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:55,727
And bend over as
low as you can go.
447
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:59,447
Now take the right hand and slap
it against the right cheek.
448
00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,365
Relax the wrist and slap
that right butt, slap it.
449
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,251
Good,
I want to hear that slap.
450
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:07,687
Oh, yes, this is wonderful.
451
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,042
Morning, ladies.
452
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,565
You started without me?
453
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,802
Yes,
just like you asked me to.
454
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,362
Say it's true
even if it isn't.
455
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,169
What?
456
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:21,005
Oh, you loved it!
You loved it!
457
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,883
Yeah, that's my boy.
458
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:27,041
All right.
459
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:28,326
You're
all prostitutes!
460
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,448
Anyway. I'm Kyle,
461
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:34,366
and welcome to the summer
session of Squatrobics 101.
462
00:20:34,440 --> 00:20:36,249
I wish they called
it something else,
463
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,203
but that's what
they told me to say.
464
00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:42,001
Okay,
so, before we start for real,
465
00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,206
any questions?
466
00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:44,566
Yes.
467
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,966
Are you married?
468
00:20:46,040 --> 00:20:47,121
No.
469
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,361
Nope, I'm... I'm single.
470
00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,169
Um...
Yeah.
471
00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:54,564
I forgot. You're so
gorgeous, my head is spinning.
472
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:55,926
I'm sorry. God.
473
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,046
Go ahead.
474
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:02,205
I have a very important question,
and it's a two-parter.
475
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,924
The first part of
the question is,
476
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,690
"Did a scientist
make you in a lab?"
477
00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:07,444
And the second part
of the question is,
478
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,841
"Can I stick my tongue down your
throat, please?"
479
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,606
All right, guys, look,
I'm flattered. Really, lam,
480
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:17,605
but most of you are married
and I happen to be gay.
481
00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:20,486
Of course he is.
482
00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,210
All of 'em.
That sucks!
483
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:23,486
What a waste!
484
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:24,971
Stay out of my bag,
little man.
485
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,084
Why does she have this?
486
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,367
That's not a jock strap,
that's a G-string.
487
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,006
Well, well, well,
488
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:56,684
if it isn't Hollywood
489
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:59,161
and the Squares.
490
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,481
Hey, Malcolm, I didn't
know you worked at Kmart,
491
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:04,325
and apparently the hair on top of
your head didn't know it, either.
492
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,561
What?
493
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,846
Do me a favor, go like this.
494
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:08,604
I think I got
something in my teeth.
495
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:10,006
What?
You know,
496
00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,482
next time, you should use that
Chia Pet stuff on your whole head.
497
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,840
What?
498
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:15,887
Why is Higgins buying
499
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,371
O.J.'s knife right now?
500
00:22:17,480 --> 00:22:18,481
You think you're tough?
501
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,601
Hey, Malcolm,
502
00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,286
is that the knife the Indians
used to half-scalp you with?
503
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:23,606
I don't even get that.
504
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:24,966
What?
505
00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:26,121
Oh, come on,
let's cheer him up
506
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,526
Benny Hill-style.
Here we go.
507
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:28,726
Come on,
come on, come on, come on...
508
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:29,961
Does that make
you feel better?
509
00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,840
Yo, Crocodile Dumb-dee,
how'd it go with the kid?
510
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,684
Good, good. He's in school.
511
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,683
Kid's in school for one day?
512
00:22:37,760 --> 00:22:40,889
I didn't know what else to do.
He's a thug, Lenny.
513
00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,531
He cut the head off a teddy bear.
Imagine what he'll do to me.
514
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,080
So you're gonna buy
this to cut his head off?
515
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,367
No, I just want him to think
I'll cut his head off
516
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:50,010
so then he won't
cut my head off.
517
00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:53,050
You want to scare a relative
without causing permanent injury?
518
00:22:54,160 --> 00:22:56,288
May I Suggest this?
519
00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:57,361
Ahhh!
520
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:03,927
Sir?
Sir? Can you get off the bed?
521
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:05,729
It's wake-up time.
522
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:10,408
Yeah, all right, Grandma, I'm up!
Stop yelling at me.
523
00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,608
Now, why is... Being mean?
524
00:23:12,680 --> 00:23:16,048
I like sleeping over.
It's just you always yell.
525
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:18,122
You don't have to yell at me.
526
00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,009
I love you.
527
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:21,445
I don't understand.
528
00:23:24,520 --> 00:23:26,249
Clean-up, aisle nine.
529
00:23:26,320 --> 00:23:28,766
Get out of me!
530
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,730
And bring a shovel.
531
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:35,367
So, my son Bumpty told me
532
00:23:35,440 --> 00:23:38,091
he's gonna ask your daughter
out on a date at school today.
533
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,970
First of all, my daughter's never
been out on a date before,
534
00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,930
and I'm sure she's not gonna start
off with some kid named Bumpty.
535
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,970
He is the only other
black kid in her grade.
536
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:48,849
Wait, you want her
to date a white guy?
537
00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,445
Yeah, Farrakhan.
538
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:52,602
I'd rather she date the whitest
white guy in the world
539
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:54,762
than your little
bald-headed boy.
540
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,930
All right, but, you know,
don't worry when she says yes,
541
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:59,690
'cause I already
had the talk with him.
542
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,524
What talk?
Dating.
543
00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,410
I told him how we used to roll
with the ladies in high school.
544
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:07,882
You know, beep-beep.
545
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,801
What?
546
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,326
I should get some
pepper spray for my kid.
547
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,846
Some moron on the bus
keeps messing with him,
548
00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:19,729
and he refuses to fight back.
549
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:22,167
You know, that reminds me
of someone I know.
550
00:24:22,240 --> 00:24:23,685
Who?
You.
551
00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,683
What are you talking about?
I got in plenty of fights.
552
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,524
Remember ninth grade
when Tommy Cavanaugh
553
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,045
moved here from Texas?
554
00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:32,602
He nonstop abused you,
and you did nothing about it.
555
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,523
Tommy Cavanaugh
was a 'roid freak.
556
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:36,602
He had back zits
on his back zits.
557
00:24:36,680 --> 00:24:38,284
Plus, he was
joking around with me.
558
00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:41,330
If it was real, I swear to God,
I would've knocked him out.
559
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:42,606
Hey, isn't that
Cavanaugh right there?
560
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,524
Where?
561
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:46,647
Gotcha.
562
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,848
That was really funny,
man, really funny.
563
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,684
Hey, you weren't
exactly Captain Courageous
564
00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:52,649
when we were
growing up, now, were you?
565
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:54,603
Hey, I never backed
out of a fight, though.
566
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,166
Yeah, but did you ever jump
off Suicide 35 at the quarry?
567
00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,765
Oh, that's right.
568
00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:00,922
He always came up with a
lame excuse not to do it.
569
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:02,525
What are you talking about?
"Oh, I can't.
570
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,841
"I'm on my period.
It'll attract sharks."
571
00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:10,011
Suicide 35 off the top rock.
35 feet above the water.
572
00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:13,323
My mom did that jump when she was
pregnant with me.
573
00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:24,524
There's a raft in there?
574
00:25:26,120 --> 00:25:27,121
Whoa!
575
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:33,605
Who did that?
576
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,764
All right, little birds.
Find your nests, man.
577
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,646
Float down.
There we go, and we're in.
578
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:43,801
All right, guys,
579
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,202
normally we don't have exciting
news this late into the term,
580
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,648
but we have a new student joining
us today, Braden Higgins.
581
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:51,960
Hey, there's an empty
seat over there, man.
582
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:54,327
Why don't you go cop a squat?
583
00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,568
Or go that way, man.
584
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:02,642
Take your own path.
585
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,923
No.
586
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,411
I sit here.
587
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:19,562
Is your dad Marcus Higgins?
588
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,251
Yeah, I've known him since I was a baby.
He's the funniest.
589
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,448
The best. Great, great man.
590
00:26:25,680 --> 00:26:28,490
I want to smash his face.
591
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,561
Yeah, me, too.
592
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:30,607
Yeah, I hate that guy.
593
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,569
Screw him.
594
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,766
Yo, Charlotte,
hold up, hold up. Question...
595
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:41,923
How would you like to spend
the first night of summer
596
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,765
with a hardcore up-and-comer?
597
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:47,046
What does that mean?
598
00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:48,610
I think he's asking you out.
599
00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,727
He is?
600
00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:51,370
You are?
601
00:26:51,440 --> 00:26:52,965
I don't make stuff up.
602
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:55,407
Well, can Donna come?
603
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,403
Three's a crowd, McCloud.
604
00:26:57,480 --> 00:26:59,562
No, he didn't.
Yes, he did.
605
00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,366
It's okay, Charlotte.
It's a date, your first date.
606
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:04,566
Just you two.
607
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:08,130
All right. I mean,
608
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:09,929
I'd have to ask my parents,
609
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,526
but I think
that would be okay.
610
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:13,601
Hey, Bumpty.
611
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,126
You think just because
it's the last day of school,
612
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:19,283
you can sit and
socialize the entire period?
613
00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:22,443
I don't think about stuff
like that, Lady Shorts.
614
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:23,726
Well, can you think fast?
615
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,087
Ow!
616
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,006
Who wants to
watch me climb a rope?
617
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:32,402
Yeah!
618
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:33,601
Ugh.
619
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,081
Oh, you're the man!
620
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,321
Whoo!
621
00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:40,121
Yo, he's got to put those
Easter eggs back in the basket.
622
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,725
Dang!
623
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,848
Kelly,
I don't want to hear it!
624
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,769
Oh, I can't take it anymore!
625
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:48,002
I wish I never had you!
626
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,764
Oh! Stop it! Stop it!
627
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:51,808
See, that's why I
don't want four kids.
628
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:54,244
Yeah, people with four just
lose their minds. Yeah.
629
00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:55,600
They're yelling,
they're screaming.
630
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:57,762
Sometimes they go to jail
just to get some sleep.
631
00:27:57,840 --> 00:28:00,286
Hold up. Hang on.
632
00:28:00,360 --> 00:28:01,600
I got a burpsnart coming.
Uh-oh.
633
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:05,367
Ho ho!
634
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:06,601
Come on.
635
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:07,886
You got to teach
me how you do that.
636
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:09,450
A burpsnart? It's simple.
Yeah.
637
00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,170
You just start with a burp,
638
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:13,049
then you sniff for a sneeze,
you get that going,
639
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,326
and that
triggers a fart, always.
640
00:28:14,400 --> 00:28:16,641
What's up with
this school bus?
641
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:19,644
Okay. I stole it.
642
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:21,967
What?
Put your hands in the air.
643
00:28:31,120 --> 00:28:33,168
I heard you're having
a party tonight, Lenny.
644
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,322
What? I'm not
having a party.
645
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,487
Where did you hear that?
646
00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:39,086
He's a cop.
He hears everything.
647
00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,161
Oh, God.
648
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:41,964
Look, it's Magnum P.U.
649
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:44,088
Look at him getting all serious.
I still can't believe
650
00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,044
you're a cop after all the
sick stuff you did growing up.
651
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,731
The Peter Dante who stole
your parents' snowmobile
652
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:52,644
and sold it to purchase
crack cocaine is dead, Feder.
653
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,404
This side of
the law is way better.
654
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,006
To serve and protect.
Got to love it.
655
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,321
Hey, McKenzie, I heard you
assaulted somebody in there.
656
00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:02,563
I didn't assault anybody.
I just choked out your brother.
657
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,803
Yeah, he deserves it.
He's crazy.
658
00:29:05,880 --> 00:29:08,690
We got five minutes
to get to that stupid recital.
659
00:29:08,760 --> 00:29:10,842
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Recital?
660
00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,001
At McDonough Elementary?
661
00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:13,167
Yes.
662
00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:14,241
Can I come?
663
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:15,321
Why?
664
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,602
Trust me.
Everybody's got to go.
665
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:19,409
We got five minutes. We're
never gonna make it there.
666
00:29:19,480 --> 00:29:20,606
You'll get there on time,
667
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:23,968
'cause we're gonna give you a
four-alarm presidential police escort.
668
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:25,280
Isn't that against the law?
669
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:26,805
I am the law!
670
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,482
What's happening?
671
00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:32,608
Whoo!
672
00:29:45,640 --> 00:29:47,688
Oh, my God!
What just happened?
673
00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:58,281
Welcome, parents, to final
performance of school year,
674
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:59,401
our June-a-licious
675
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,767
Dance Spectacular!
676
00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:08,085
Now, for this year,
677
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:09,929
we go throwing a few
678
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:11,445
hip-hop moves in there.
679
00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,522
Like this.
680
00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:22,491
Is fun to dance.
681
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,040
Let the show begin.
682
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:33,127
So nice of you to invite your
friends and the bus driver
683
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:36,124
and the police force to our
daughter's dance recital.
684
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:40,569
Yeah, huge ballet fans,
all of them.
685
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:03,401
- Ooh!
- Oh.
686
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,050
She's so cute.
687
00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:06,610
So cute.
She's adorable, isn't she?
688
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:07,966
She is adorable.
689
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:09,610
Fantastic stuff.
Unbelievable.
690
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:11,290
Look at her go.
I am.
691
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:13,283
I'm looking at her.
692
00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:28,525
I want to arrest her
for disturbing the peace.
693
00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:30,602
In my pants.
694
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,090
I'm having a wonderful time.
695
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:48,648
She's got a solo?
696
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:54,600
What?
697
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:06,042
It's fine.
I just wish that you
698
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:08,128
would give me more
than eight hours notice
699
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:10,328
before you tell me that
we're throwing a party, babe.
700
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,765
It's not a party.
Get out of here.
701
00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,285
It's a couple people coming by.
Come on.
702
00:32:13,360 --> 00:32:14,725
How'd you like it?
703
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:16,529
You were great, honey.
Hey!
704
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:18,523
Where did you learn
to dance like that?
705
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,523
She moves like "Yagger," no?
706
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,364
Yes,
she does, she moves like...
707
00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:23,930
Mick Yagger?
Is that what you were saying?
708
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,241
Hey, butter buns,
you ready to grab some eats?
709
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,243
Yes.
710
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,924
Cavanaugh.
711
00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,321
Lenny Feder, I'll be damned.
712
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,643
Honey,
this is Tommy Cavanaugh.
713
00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:37,529
He was my old steroid
that I grew up with.
714
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,641
This is my...
715
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:40,768
Wife, Roxanne.
716
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,490
Why are your
hands shaking, Daddy?
717
00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:43,766
My hands are shaking?
718
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:45,490
Probably because I
719
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:47,801
had too much coffee
this morning, sweetheart.
720
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:49,086
I heard you
been running around
721
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:50,440
saying you could
take me in a fight.
722
00:32:50,520 --> 00:32:52,682
You... I wouldn't say that.
723
00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,569
Yeah, you did,
this morning in Kmart.
724
00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:56,324
Kmart? Was I there?
725
00:32:56,400 --> 00:32:57,367
I don't think I was there.
726
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,441
You know,
727
00:32:58,520 --> 00:32:59,806
all I can
remember about this guy
728
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:01,723
is smacking him around
whenever I wanted to,
729
00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,723
and him not doing
a single thing about it.
730
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,168
Yeah, we had a lot of good
times like that growing up.
731
00:33:07,240 --> 00:33:10,084
Why is your voice so shaky, Daddy?
Are you crying?
732
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,208
You don't stop talking,
do you?
733
00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:14,123
Honey,
we should be getting going.
734
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,326
Sure, baby.
735
00:33:15,400 --> 00:33:17,482
I want you to stop making up
lies about kicking my ass
736
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:18,971
or I'm gonna have
to set you straight.
737
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:20,280
Sure, sure, sure.
738
00:33:20,360 --> 00:33:22,124
I'll see you around.
739
00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:25,010
Becky,
you be having great summer.
740
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,489
I was one inch away
741
00:33:28,560 --> 00:33:30,847
from knocking that guy out,
and I swear to God.
742
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:31,921
No, you weren't.
743
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,570
This is grown-up talk,
744
00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:35,085
so butt out!
745
00:33:37,880 --> 00:33:39,405
That's insane!
What did you say to him?
746
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:42,165
I said, "Hey, Cavanaugh, you
speak to me like that again
747
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:45,210
"in front of my wife and kid, I will
brush your teeth with a brick."
748
00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,408
No, you didn't.
You just yelled at me.
749
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:49,403
I don't yell at you!
Calm down.
750
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:50,686
No, I'm just saying.
751
00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:52,125
You guys were in the bathroom.
752
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,282
Look who's here, everybody.
753
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,250
20 VOSS waters, right?
754
00:33:57,320 --> 00:33:59,209
That's how they do it in Hollyweird.
I don't know.
755
00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,602
We haven't lived there in, what,
10 months now or something?
756
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:06,122
As a matter of fact, our son
starts work here tonight.
757
00:34:06,200 --> 00:34:08,726
I know. I heard you
brown-nosed Mr. Pappas
758
00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:11,121
and now Showbiz
Junior's got a job.
759
00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,726
I used to scoop cones here,
and why shouldn't he?
760
00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,643
It's a great
first job for a kid.
761
00:34:17,080 --> 00:34:19,367
Or lifetime job.
762
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:21,249
Okay, what are we having?
763
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,481
Becky, what do you want, hon?
764
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,041
Can I have the soft
chocolate cup, please?
765
00:34:25,120 --> 00:34:27,851
Here's a word you
probably never heard, no.
766
00:34:27,960 --> 00:34:29,291
The machine's busted,
princess.
767
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,604
Aw, bummer, it's broken?
Like all your dreams?
768
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,642
You know what, it's easy to fix.
I can help you with that.
769
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:38,081
What do you know about fixing
ice cream machines, Higgins?
770
00:34:38,160 --> 00:34:40,367
Uh, I went to
DeVry for a year.
771
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:41,487
Oh, that's right.
772
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:42,727
I can fix
anything with a plug.
773
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:43,926
Including your hair?
774
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,401
That's not true. I don't even
know how that got started.
775
00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:48,090
That's, like, people are
saying that around town.
776
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:49,286
I'll walk you through it.
777
00:34:49,360 --> 00:34:51,601
You just walk up, climb up the
machine, lean over the back.
778
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:53,330
Can't believe I'm
listening to this idiot.
779
00:34:53,400 --> 00:34:54,401
Listen to the man.
780
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:55,606
You're gonna see
781
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:56,727
two pipes coming into the top.
782
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:58,450
Yes!
In between them,
783
00:34:58,520 --> 00:34:59,931
there's gonna be
a silver button.
784
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,001
Hit it a little bit.
785
00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,127
Push hard.
786
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,009
No. Hit it with your fist.
787
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,770
Yeah, just push the button.
788
00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:07,444
I got it.
There we go!
789
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,010
I think we're
getting somewhere.
790
00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,122
Okay, keep going. Yeah, that...
791
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:12,281
Force it. That's it.
792
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:17,607
Hey! Why is Dickie crapping
all over the ice cream stand?
793
00:35:17,680 --> 00:35:18,647
What'd she say?
794
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:19,807
Nothing! Nothing!
795
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:20,967
Go! Just go!
796
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,962
Go, Dickie!
797
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,964
That's where ice
cream comes from?
798
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:34,400
And so we've reached the end
of another school year.
799
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,801
Froot Loop?
800
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:38,881
Ten months
801
00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,930
of learning, growth
802
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,729
and, yes, hopefully,
803
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:45,962
a little bit of fun.
804
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:50,404
But the journey we began
together, in September,
805
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,006
does not end today.
806
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:56,050
For education is a process
807
00:35:56,120 --> 00:36:00,603
that does not begin and end
on some set schedule...
808
00:36:02,240 --> 00:36:05,050
Please let me finish.
Return to your seats.
809
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:08,321
Damn you!
810
00:36:08,400 --> 00:36:09,890
Every year, you do this to me!
811
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:13,601
And this was my favorite shirt
from when I was 12!
812
00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,409
How you doing, sophomore?
813
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,891
Not bad, sophomore.
814
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:17,961
Come here!
815
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,521
Hey, you're
not a statue.
816
00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:30,046
You're an ass-tue.
817
00:36:30,120 --> 00:36:31,849
Doesn't even make any sense.
818
00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:33,166
Shut up!
819
00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,209
What? What? What?
820
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,045
Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!
821
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,691
What's up, man?
822
00:36:45,760 --> 00:36:46,841
Your dad picking you up?
823
00:36:47,240 --> 00:36:49,561
Uh, I don't know.
824
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:51,881
I told him it'd be cool if he
stayed late at the soup kitchen,
825
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,724
so it's on me.
826
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:56,326
Well, you can come on the bus
with us, if you want.
827
00:36:56,440 --> 00:36:58,408
Nah, how about we
do something fun?
828
00:36:59,320 --> 00:37:02,369
How about we do something
we're not supposed to?
829
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:05,771
"Keep out."
830
00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,320
That just makes me
want to not keep out.
831
00:37:08,600 --> 00:37:11,570
Heard our dads used to come
swimming here, back in the day.
832
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,690
They claim to be all squeaky
clean, but I think they were nuts.
833
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,925
College kids.
834
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:30,684
We better go.
835
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,402
No go.
836
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:34,851
Stay.
837
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:42,841
Whoo!
838
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,089
He's nuts.
839
00:37:47,200 --> 00:37:48,281
Let's go.
840
00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:49,441
Hey!
841
00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:50,965
Where are you guys going?
842
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,890
Join the party.
843
00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:56,363
Here. One and two.
844
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,003
Are you guys freshmen?
845
00:38:00,080 --> 00:38:01,809
No. We're seniors.
846
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:04,451
We just became seniors,
like, 20 minutes ago.
847
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,682
Not high school seniors,
college seniors.
848
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:08,330
Wait a minute!
849
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:10,129
I remember you guys.
850
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:11,964
You're Scully.
851
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,008
You're Boomer.
852
00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:16,245
Come here.
853
00:38:16,320 --> 00:38:17,765
I love you guys so much.
854
00:38:17,840 --> 00:38:19,046
I love you, too.
855
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:20,366
Girl, I love you more.
856
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,965
I'm gonna go.
857
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,042
Whoo! Body shots!
858
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,084
No go.
859
00:38:26,160 --> 00:38:27,127
Stay.
860
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:29,641
Okay, okay. But what
about these beers, man?
861
00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,324
If we don't drink them,
they'll be onto us,
862
00:38:31,440 --> 00:38:32,965
and I'm not sure I'm
ready for beer yet.
863
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,004
Wait, let's just dump them
when no one's looking,
864
00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:37,241
then act like we're drunk.
865
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:38,731
Okay. Good idea.
866
00:38:38,800 --> 00:38:40,484
All right, let's go.
867
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:47,849
Summertime.
868
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:50,844
You're sure you want to do this, big man?
No shame in backing down.
869
00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:51,887
Really?
Come on!
870
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:53,007
Come on.
871
00:38:53,080 --> 00:38:54,764
It's a lifelong shame.
872
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:57,320
You're finally doing
Suicide 35. It's a big day.
873
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:58,526
What are you scared of, man?
874
00:38:58,600 --> 00:39:01,524
You're the "rope from the tree,
triple flip, bird-crush" guy.
875
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:03,921
I'm not scared of this.
In the past, I did it before.
876
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,081
But I'll do it right now.
877
00:39:05,160 --> 00:39:06,161
Sure. Sure. Go ahead.
878
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,328
- Do it. Do it.
- Whoa.
879
00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:11,728
But the thing is this,
I just...
880
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:13,370
late about 45 minutes ago.
881
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:14,680
What did you eat?
882
00:39:14,760 --> 00:39:16,046
I had chicken chow mein.
883
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:17,929
Chicken chow mein? When did...
884
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:19,451
We were with you
the whole time!
885
00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:21,284
Yeah. You didn't see it?
They had it at Kmart.
886
00:39:21,360 --> 00:39:22,691
They have chicken chow...
Oh, get out of here.
887
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,046
It's good there. Yeah.
It's very good.
888
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,406
What do I hear right now?
889
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:27,886
Look at this.
890
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:31,806
Beers on ice.
Hot ladies everywhere.
891
00:39:31,880 --> 00:39:34,008
This is how we used to do it.
892
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:35,366
This is howl
still do it, buddy.
893
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:36,766
He does still do it that way.
894
00:39:36,840 --> 00:39:38,171
Well, you should stop.
895
00:39:39,280 --> 00:39:41,248
This is Kappa
Eta Sigma property.
896
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:43,970
So you might want to quit
perving on our ladies
897
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:46,042
and get back to your trailer homes.
898
00:39:46,120 --> 00:39:48,407
Okay, easy there, Abercrombie.
899
00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:50,005
I think it's...
900
00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:51,969
I think we've been around
a little longer than you.
901
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,644
Been swimming here
since we were eight years old,
902
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,484
so you can calm
down a little bit.
903
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,290
I'm sure it was the bomb!
904
00:39:57,440 --> 00:40:00,444
Cranking your Al Jolson tunes
on your transistor radio.
905
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:02,568
But it's the 21st century now.
906
00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:04,563
And Thicky-Thick
and the Flabby Bunch
907
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,608
should never take
their shirts off again.
908
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:07,681
That hurts.
909
00:40:07,800 --> 00:40:08,767
Okay,
I guess I'm Thicky-Thick.
910
00:40:08,840 --> 00:40:10,888
Yeah, well, I don't like being
in the Flabby Bunch, either.
911
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,566
Boom! That just happened.
912
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,445
I haven't been around this many
arrogant white college kids
913
00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,045
since Eminem played Duke.
914
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:19,565
There it goes. And then...
915
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:20,801
Boom!
916
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,450
That just happened.
How was that?
917
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,251
At least we got into college,
skinny Danny Glover.
918
00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:33,890
Long handjob.
That's Rock, Paper, Scissors.
919
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,645
I think it's over.
920
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:40,290
Hey, hey, hey!
What, what, what?
921
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:41,566
What?
922
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,325
And a little
extra right there.
923
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:45,890
Hey, fellows,
that was a good handshake.
924
00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:47,445
We got a good one, too.
It goes like this.
925
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,124
Okay, here we go.
Oh, how you doing, sir?
926
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,009
Nice to see you.
Very good, sir.
927
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,525
Beautiful day.
Yeah, at least we're not stuck
928
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:56,161
in some crap town like this, hanging
up drywall for the rest of our lives.
929
00:40:56,240 --> 00:40:57,844
Bay-com!
930
00:40:57,920 --> 00:40:59,251
Hanging drywall?
First of all,
931
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:00,731
I'll have you know
that I own pretty much
932
00:41:00,800 --> 00:41:02,802
the greatest auto body shop
in town, all right?
933
00:41:02,880 --> 00:41:04,723
This guy works for
the cable company.
934
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,006
Free cable for life.
935
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:07,206
What?
936
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:08,691
Over here,
you know Higgins?
937
00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:11,161
That's right, he works part-time
down at the go-kart track.
938
00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,601
Oh, so he was highballing
you with the drywall.
939
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,850
Boom!
940
00:41:18,440 --> 00:41:20,010
This just got real.
941
00:41:20,120 --> 00:41:21,201
Real stupid? What happened?
942
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:22,401
Something's real.
943
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:31,167
Yeah...
944
00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:32,327
Dougie, Dougie...
945
00:41:32,400 --> 00:41:34,846
Are you guys as wasted as us?
946
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:37,810
Hells, yeah!
All the time!
947
00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:43,286
Yo, we're gonna let you guys continue
your Klan meeting in a minute.
948
00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:45,840
He's just gonna jump off of
here, and then we'll leave.
949
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,365
I can't permit that.
950
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:51,124
I can't permit it!
951
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,089
Can't permit it.
952
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,084
You guys have ruined
our celebration by being here.
953
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:58,521
Look at my hands, huh?
954
00:41:58,600 --> 00:41:59,965
They're shaking, I'm so mad.
955
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,644
Yeah,
look, my brother's shaking.
956
00:42:03,080 --> 00:42:05,367
Wha... Wha...
Whoa, whoa.
957
00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,283
That was a cool move.
Now, listen to me.
958
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:09,203
I'm gonna kick this kid's ass.
959
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,647
But I need, like, 11 to 15
minutes to stretch out, okay?
960
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:12,881
I got to stretch.
It's overlooked.
961
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,485
No, I understand.
962
00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,210
I can't fight these kids.
I'm skinny Danny Glover.
963
00:42:16,280 --> 00:42:18,123
Guys,
this guy's doing 11 flips
964
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:20,123
behind you for
some unknown reason.
965
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,963
We got kids,
we can't afford to do this.
966
00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,724
Buddy,dude, you don't have
to do that last flip.
967
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:28,928
Don't, like, get hurt.
968
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:30,206
We'll come back another time.
969
00:42:30,280 --> 00:42:31,566
You will come back never!
970
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,722
This is Kappa Eta Sigma property!
971
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:36,087
Dude,
why are you acting so crazy?
972
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:39,050
Did Betty White
just call you crazy?
973
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:40,286
Did he just call you Betty White?
Betty White?
974
00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:41,361
That's pretty funny.
975
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,805
We've got a situation!
976
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,525
You know what?
Hey, guys? Guys?
977
00:42:55,600 --> 00:42:57,250
- Hey, what's up, guys?
- Let's get out of here.
978
00:42:57,320 --> 00:42:58,446
Listen,
it's nice to meet everybody.
979
00:42:58,520 --> 00:42:59,567
We're gonna take off,
but let's do this again.
980
00:42:59,720 --> 00:43:00,767
Take care, guys.
981
00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,171
Enjoy yourself.
Not that way.
982
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:04,561
Oh, is there an elevator?
983
00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:07,969
That way.
984
00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:12,531
Oh, come on, are you serious?
You gonna make us jump?
985
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,002
Naked.
986
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,922
Asshole.
987
00:43:21,720 --> 00:43:22,721
Oh!
988
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:27,811
You guys are losers.
989
00:43:31,160 --> 00:43:32,400
Oh!
990
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:38,206
Don't worry, it gets bigger.
991
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:39,481
Ahh!
992
00:43:39,880 --> 00:43:40,881
Whoa!
993
00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,127
Oh!
994
00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,168
That poor old lady!
995
00:43:45,320 --> 00:43:47,368
Ahh! Ah ha ha!
996
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:48,930
Rm Paralyzed!
997
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:51,287
I'm in so much pain!
998
00:43:51,360 --> 00:43:53,249
Mama!
999
00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,328
No!
1000
00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,401
Oh!
1001
00:44:04,360 --> 00:44:06,249
I was inside you!
1002
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:16,565
I can't believe nobody's even
scared of a black guy anymore!
1003
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,768
Damn you, Obama!
1004
00:44:18,840 --> 00:44:21,889
What the hell just happened?
1005
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:24,566
I saw my dad's dick.
1006
00:44:41,760 --> 00:44:45,731
Well, the good news is Lamonsoff
finally did the jump for real.
1007
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:48,007
And the bad news is
he landed on my face.
1008
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,168
What are you,
made of rocks, dude?
1009
00:44:50,240 --> 00:44:52,686
Check this out, feel this.
I'm not kidding you.
1010
00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:54,046
Right up here.
1011
00:44:54,120 --> 00:44:55,087
I think even higher.
1012
00:44:55,160 --> 00:44:56,161
Feel that.
And?
1013
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,401
Put your hand right there.
1014
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,209
Feel the other one.
Those are my balls.
1015
00:44:59,280 --> 00:45:01,123
I'm not kidding you,
they went way up in there.
1016
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:02,361
You're getting me turned on.
1017
00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:04,522
Are you kidding me?
1018
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:05,647
What?
1019
00:45:05,720 --> 00:45:07,051
They slashed our tires!
1020
00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,531
These kids won't
stop abusing us!
1021
00:45:08,640 --> 00:45:09,766
Damn you!
1022
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:12,964
This wasn't college kids.
1023
00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,646
It was my son, Satan.
1024
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,128
And why is this kid so angry?
1025
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:21,170
His mom hiccupped a lot, but
she was happy! And hot.
1026
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:23,402
If she's so hot,
1027
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:26,165
why don't you make her
your late-night booty call?
1028
00:45:26,240 --> 00:45:28,766
Oh, Beefcakes!
Come on, baby!
1029
00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:34,804
You've been sneaking around with Fabio?
1030
00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,326
It's not funny, dude! She's gonna
kick the crap out of me later!
1031
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,526
Wow.
1032
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:40,090
Wow.
1033
00:45:40,160 --> 00:45:41,286
A little
five-hour Energy, huh?
1034
00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:42,481
Yeah.
1035
00:45:44,320 --> 00:45:45,890
500-hour Energy?
1036
00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,405
I drink it for the taste,
okay?
1037
00:45:47,480 --> 00:45:50,563
Oh, my God, you gonna jog
to Florida after this?
1038
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,281
Oh!
1039
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:55,361
No!
1040
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:56,686
A bonus!
1041
00:45:56,760 --> 00:45:58,524
Come on,
just cram yourself in there.
1042
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,604
My body, it's just too big for this thing.
I can't fit.
1043
00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:03,921
Higgins, dummy, hop in
this thing for a minute.
1044
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:05,081
For what?
1045
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,287
Just get in the tire.
1046
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:08,283
No way! In there?
Five yards we'll roll you.
1047
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,727
We've done it. I would do
it if I could get in there.
1048
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:12,450
This is peer pressure,
you're bullying.
1049
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,091
And I promise you
I'll stop you and I love you.
1050
00:46:15,160 --> 00:46:17,242
Don't let him do it.
He's jacked up on juice.
1051
00:46:17,320 --> 00:46:19,368
And a-one, and a-two...
1052
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:20,441
Mommy's got you.
1053
00:46:20,520 --> 00:46:21,521
...and a-three!
1054
00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:24,290
Okay, five feet.
Grab me. Y'ello.
1055
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:25,964
Lenny!
Hey, Keithie.
1056
00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:28,247
Meet me at the football field,
but don't tell your mother.
1057
00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:29,970
Why am I still rolling?
1058
00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:31,644
Lenny!
Oops.
1059
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:33,370
Help!
1060
00:46:33,440 --> 00:46:35,090
Guys. get me!
1061
00:46:35,160 --> 00:46:36,241
Hang in there!
1062
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,486
I'm going downhill!
1063
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:38,641
Lenny! No! No!
1064
00:46:40,320 --> 00:46:42,971
When will it end?
1065
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:50,285
Oh, yeah.
Summer is here, man!
1066
00:46:56,040 --> 00:46:59,203
Help! Stop! No!
1067
00:47:01,160 --> 00:47:02,161
Tire on the loose!
1068
00:47:02,240 --> 00:47:03,730
Fluzoo, shotgun, now!
1069
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:07,841
Someone!
1070
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,570
Higgins is in the tire!
1071
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,011
Of course.
1072
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,684
- Help!
- Get there!
1073
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:14,250
Help!
1074
00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:15,321
Liar!
1075
00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:16,401
No,no,baby!
1076
00:47:17,560 --> 00:47:20,848
No! No! Someone!
1077
00:47:25,040 --> 00:47:26,041
Ahh! Ahh!
1078
00:47:31,080 --> 00:47:33,162
Shaw's over, tire.
1079
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:34,961
OW!
1080
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:47,327
I'm next.
1081
00:47:47,400 --> 00:47:49,050
I got next!
No, I'm next!
1082
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,160
It's my tire! My turn!
1083
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:55,004
Hey!
1084
00:47:55,080 --> 00:47:56,809
What happened?
1085
00:47:57,240 --> 00:47:58,526
I got a phone call.
1086
00:47:58,720 --> 00:47:59,721
Oh.
1087
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:02,531
Okay. I forgive you.
1088
00:48:02,600 --> 00:48:04,807
Was it
long-distance or something?
1089
00:48:04,880 --> 00:48:06,848
Don't want to kick a guy
while he's down, Higgins,
1090
00:48:06,920 --> 00:48:09,127
but we caught your son
with a can of spray paint
1091
00:48:09,240 --> 00:48:11,208
looking like he
was up to no good.
1092
00:48:11,280 --> 00:48:13,886
You lied about the soup.
1093
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:16,406
You lied about the soup!
1094
00:48:30,920 --> 00:48:35,369
We are gonna find
those fartheads,
1095
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:38,127
and we are gonna kill them.
1096
00:48:38,360 --> 00:48:39,930
Kill!
1097
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,641
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1098
00:48:47,480 --> 00:48:50,563
No, guys! Not each other!
1099
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:53,450
We're not killing each other!
1100
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:56,570
K-E-I-T
1101
00:48:56,640 --> 00:48:59,450
H-I-E.
1102
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:01,682
Keithie, Keithie, Keithie!
Whoo! Uh-huh!
1103
00:49:01,760 --> 00:49:05,128
It's a practice, Donna. You
don't have to go full speed.
1104
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:06,440
Sorry, Mr. Feder.
1105
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:07,646
It's fine!
1106
00:49:07,720 --> 00:49:10,200
Hey, look at these
giant mooses out there.
1107
00:49:13,720 --> 00:49:15,802
You don't want to get
in the middle of all that.
1108
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,644
Plus, the kicker,
honestly, is like,
1109
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,444
one of the most
important guys on the team
1110
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:20,971
and you don't have
to worry about getting
1111
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:22,491
your head bashed
in every play.
1112
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:24,483
I get it, Dad.
I'm a wimp.
1113
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,641
You're not a wimp.
1114
00:49:25,720 --> 00:49:26,926
It's just common sense.
1115
00:49:27,000 --> 00:49:28,843
Avoid big idiots
trying to hurt you.
1116
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:30,805
I was trying to
avoid a big idiot
1117
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:32,331
trying to hurt me on
the bus this morning,
1118
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:33,731
but he wouldn't
leave me alone.
1119
00:49:33,800 --> 00:49:35,723
Well, sometimes they
won't let you avoid them,
1120
00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:38,326
and you just... You can't back
down in those situations.
1121
00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:40,368
I'm telling you,
I've backed down a few times,
1122
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:41,566
it's not a good feeling.
1123
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,529
All right, look, let's just
kick a few field goals.
1124
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,284
It's like soccer,
which you're great at.
1125
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,204
All you got to do is put your
foot right through the ball.
1126
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:52,371
Whoo!
What?
1127
00:49:52,440 --> 00:49:53,646
Touchdown! Yeah!
1128
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:55,364
Yeah!
1129
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,522
That's ridiculous!
Your first try?
1130
00:49:57,640 --> 00:49:59,608
All right,
we're backing up, boy.
1131
00:49:59,680 --> 00:50:02,251
That was totally awesome, Keithie!
That was so cool!
1132
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,607
That was just, like, awesome!
1133
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:06,569
Okay, drive through the ball.
1134
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:08,210
Drive through the ball.
1135
00:50:10,280 --> 00:50:11,327
It's up!
1136
00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:14,366
Whoo! Yeah!
Whoo! Go, Keithie!
1137
00:50:14,440 --> 00:50:17,410
Yes! What did you
eat this morning?
1138
00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:21,121
All right, this is starting to
get into, like, college level.
1139
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:22,645
From the 30!
1140
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,404
Who the hell is this kid?
1141
00:50:30,440 --> 00:50:31,885
Oh, my God!
1142
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,043
I'm starting to think
she has a little crush on you.
1143
00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:40,201
Really?
1144
00:50:40,280 --> 00:50:42,851
Either that or she got bit
by a poisonous spider.
1145
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:45,002
Keithie! Whoo!
1146
00:50:46,200 --> 00:50:47,645
All right,
let's see how you do
1147
00:50:47,800 --> 00:50:49,165
in a real game situation,
though.
1148
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:51,686
Okay? Let's
pretend I'm a linebacker,
1149
00:50:51,760 --> 00:50:53,410
and I'm gonna come at you
and try and block it.
1150
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,481
Okay-
1151
00:50:54,560 --> 00:50:55,891
Set!
1152
00:50:57,080 --> 00:50:59,003
Hike! I'm a crazy linebacker!
1153
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:00,047
Give me that football!
1154
00:51:02,640 --> 00:51:04,324
on, my leg!
1155
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:05,640
Keithie!
1156
00:51:05,720 --> 00:51:07,722
Don't tell your mother!
1157
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:10,804
All right, that kid's dead.
Back to work.
1158
00:51:12,000 --> 00:51:14,446
Now, you remember how to do
a five-point turn, right?
1159
00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:15,601
Yeah.
1160
00:51:15,680 --> 00:51:17,569
Parallel park?
Yeah, yeah.
1161
00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:19,688
Hey, don't "yeah,
yeah" me, dumb-ass.
1162
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:21,250
You're precious cargo.
1163
00:51:21,320 --> 00:51:23,163
Now, if you mess around
and get yourself killed,
1164
00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:24,247
I'm gonna have to kill you.
1165
00:51:24,320 --> 00:51:26,004
Look, Dad, I'm ready
for this, all right?
1166
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:29,450
You're late.
1167
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:31,920
Hello, McKenzie.
1168
00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:33,684
Hey, Wiley, how you feeling?
1169
00:51:36,160 --> 00:51:37,924
Oh, just two years of this.
1170
00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:41,083
And I still only have
40% feeling in my body.
1171
00:51:41,200 --> 00:51:43,123
Otherwise, I'm fine.
1172
00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:44,929
No, Rihanna's fine.
1173
00:51:45,000 --> 00:51:46,525
You just teach driver's ed.
1174
00:51:47,680 --> 00:51:49,125
Get her done, son!
1175
00:51:49,200 --> 00:51:51,407
And remember
everything we talked about!
1176
00:51:51,480 --> 00:51:52,720
Defensive driving!
1177
00:51:52,800 --> 00:51:53,926
Stop at all yellows!
1178
00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:55,001
Obey the laws!
1179
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:57,361
You moron!
1180
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,646
Look out!
1181
00:51:58,760 --> 00:52:01,684
Be safe!
Don't do what I just did!
1182
00:52:02,400 --> 00:52:04,641
Hey, officers,
you guys want to stick around
1183
00:52:04,720 --> 00:52:06,404
and have a drink with me,
hang out a little bit?
1184
00:52:06,480 --> 00:52:07,561
You're afraid
of us leaving you
1185
00:52:07,720 --> 00:52:08,767
alone with your son,
aren't you?
1186
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,888
My son... Are you
kidding me? I don't care...
1187
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:11,961
Boo!
1188
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:13,081
He's got a knife!
1189
00:52:13,720 --> 00:52:16,849
That sounds dangerous.
How far was the drop?
1190
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,809
Just 35 feet.
1191
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:21,360
Who do you think
you are, Tarzan?
1192
00:52:21,440 --> 00:52:23,329
It's no big deal.
Honey?
1193
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:25,164
Hi, Sally.
1194
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,004
Hi, honey.
I... No, I just came to see
1195
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:28,201
if Mommy was alive.
1196
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:29,805
And looking now,
1197
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,166
she's breathing, she's good.
1198
00:52:31,240 --> 00:52:32,844
Hi. What are you doing here?
1199
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:35,008
I was bringing your mother
a new fan for the summer.
1200
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:36,320
That's good.
You said you couldn't
1201
00:52:36,400 --> 00:52:37,890
get coffee with
me because you had
1202
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,850
a 3:30 appointment
with a Mr. Renaldo.
1203
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:42,160
Hello, ladies!
1204
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,844
You!
1205
00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:44,921
Can't be!
1206
00:52:45,000 --> 00:52:47,241
We killed you. Last week.
1207
00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:50,767
You actually think
two amateurish nitwits
1208
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,083
could kill The Great Renaldo?
1209
00:52:54,440 --> 00:52:55,771
I told you.
1210
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:58,923
You did. You called it.
1211
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:06,005
So the leg's not
really broken, huh?
1212
00:53:06,320 --> 00:53:08,561
No, it is broken, right here.
1213
00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:11,325
Just a hairline fracture,
though.
1214
00:53:11,400 --> 00:53:13,164
No, it's a clean break.
1215
00:53:13,240 --> 00:53:14,685
Slight, though.
1216
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:17,331
Slight? No. It's broken.
1217
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,085
Broken-broken or just broken?
1218
00:53:20,160 --> 00:53:22,731
It's a broken leg.
1219
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:26,407
What was once one bone
is now two half-bones.
1220
00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:27,606
Right.
1221
00:53:27,680 --> 00:53:32,288
Is there anything you can do
about my wife staring at me?
1222
00:53:34,280 --> 00:53:36,726
No, I'm not a psychiatrist.
1223
00:53:36,800 --> 00:53:38,370
So you're saying
my wife is crazy?
1224
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:40,010
No, no. I was joking.
1225
00:53:40,080 --> 00:53:41,889
Like you were when you said
his leg is broken.
1226
00:53:41,960 --> 00:53:43,610
Look, your son
1227
00:53:43,680 --> 00:53:46,923
is going to be wearing
that cast the entire summer.
1228
00:53:47,000 --> 00:53:50,891
If you don't mind,
I haven't slept in 68 hours.
1229
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:53,247
So you're a little
loopy from lack of sleep,
1230
00:53:53,320 --> 00:53:54,890
and that really
isn't my son's bone.
1231
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:56,923
That's a piece of
celery you snapped.
1232
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:57,967
Lenny!
Yes?
1233
00:53:58,040 --> 00:53:59,565
The leg is broken!
1234
00:54:03,200 --> 00:54:04,929
You can't undo this,
1235
00:54:05,000 --> 00:54:08,243
and you lied to me,
so you're gonna pay for it.
1236
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:12,928
Doctor, wouldn't it be nice
if there was a cure for anger?
1237
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:14,081
There is.
1238
00:54:14,160 --> 00:54:15,844
It's called Jack Daniel's.
1239
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:18,450
Another one of
your jokes, huh?
1240
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,010
I Wish.
1241
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:24,449
Okay, the light is red
now, so just remain stopped.
1242
00:54:28,520 --> 00:54:30,045
Scully, is that you?
1243
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:33,166
Scully!
1244
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,604
Hey, what's up, fellas?
1245
00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:39,126
Are you taking your
driver's test drunk?
1246
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:41,282
Yeah, I'm MC Hammered!
1247
00:54:41,360 --> 00:54:43,010
Oh! You're a madman!
Psychopath, man!
1248
00:54:43,080 --> 00:54:44,081
Hey, Scully, Scully.
1249
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:46,401
Have you seen those old townies
from the quarry today?
1250
00:54:46,480 --> 00:54:49,484
No, I can't say I did. Why?
1251
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:51,642
They
disrespected our frat house!
1252
00:54:51,720 --> 00:54:53,245
Man, they disrespected
the crap out of it!
1253
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:54,890
Oh, no, can't have that.
1254
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:58,446
Brewski time, dude!
1255
00:54:58,520 --> 00:54:59,965
It's not for you, Scully.
1256
00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:01,804
It's for that freak
in the hat next to you.
1257
00:55:01,880 --> 00:55:03,006
Looks like he needs it.
1258
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:04,081
Boom!
Yeah!
1259
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:05,491
That just happened!
1260
00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:07,688
Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!
1261
00:55:09,800 --> 00:55:13,486
Taking your driver's
test while intoxicated?
1262
00:55:15,080 --> 00:55:17,447
Minus five points.
1263
00:55:26,040 --> 00:55:27,644
This is ridiculous!
1264
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:31,367
I've wasted an entire day waiting
for this idiot to show up.
1265
00:55:31,440 --> 00:55:34,125
Did you tell him your son-in-law
works for the cable company?
1266
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:38,000
A fat lot of good being related
to that bozo would do me.
1267
00:55:38,080 --> 00:55:41,050
I'm gonna run to the bathroom.
1268
00:55:41,120 --> 00:55:42,690
Love to the children.
1269
00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:50,525
Yes. Yes.
1270
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,361
Damn it, I just sat down.
1271
00:55:59,440 --> 00:56:01,522
I'll be right out there!
1272
00:56:01,600 --> 00:56:02,681
Hang on!
1273
00:56:02,760 --> 00:56:04,364
I'm coming as quick as I can.
1274
00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:06,283
I got bunions, damn it!
1275
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:15,963
No! No!
1276
00:56:16,040 --> 00:56:18,122
You burn in hell!
1277
00:56:18,240 --> 00:56:20,049
You cable-installing mother...
1278
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:21,485
Oh, damn it!
1279
00:56:30,560 --> 00:56:31,561
Look, man,
1280
00:56:31,640 --> 00:56:33,881
I know deadbeat dads
always have lame excuses
1281
00:56:33,960 --> 00:56:36,167
why they don't see their kids,
1282
00:56:36,240 --> 00:56:39,687
but "I didn't know you existed
till about a week ago"
1283
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:41,808
is actually
a fantastic excuse.
1284
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,405
So can you cut me some slack?
1285
00:56:43,480 --> 00:56:45,244
Her name's not Hiccups McGee.
1286
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,049
Yeah, I know that.
1287
00:56:47,120 --> 00:56:48,724
So why do you call her that?
1288
00:56:48,840 --> 00:56:51,366
No, that's just...
It's stupid.
1289
00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:55,240
It's just kind of
a nickname I give people that,
1290
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:58,767
you know, have a distinct
trait or physical feature.
1291
00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:02,322
Like, if someone had big lips,
you'd call them Lippy McGee.
1292
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,926
And if they sneezed a lot,
you'd call them Sneezy McGee.
1293
00:57:05,000 --> 00:57:07,924
Oh, so you'd be Ugly McGee.
1294
00:57:08,000 --> 00:57:10,162
I'd be Ugly McGee.
Exactly.
1295
00:57:10,280 --> 00:57:11,566
Shorty McGee.
1296
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:12,607
Shorty McGee, sure.
1297
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:13,920
Viagra McGee.
1298
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,331
Right, right.
You get it, you get it.
1299
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,449
Listen, man,
1300
00:57:17,520 --> 00:57:20,091
I'm willing to give
this a try if you are.
1301
00:57:21,720 --> 00:57:24,451
You know what they say... Yesterday's
history, tomorrow's a mystery.
1302
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:28,681
Maybe we go inside
and search the Internet
1303
00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:31,247
for funny videos of
squirrels waterskiing.
1304
00:57:40,720 --> 00:57:42,927
Okay, we're
getting somewhere.
1305
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:45,289
I'm sorry I lied
about the appointment.
1306
00:57:45,360 --> 00:57:47,408
The lying's not
the worst part.
1307
00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,562
You hid from me at your
mother's house, Eric.
1308
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:50,971
Who does that?
1309
00:57:51,040 --> 00:57:52,565
Look, she's nice to me.
1310
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,042
You know,
she always takes my side,
1311
00:57:55,120 --> 00:57:58,044
worries if I'm eating enough
and taking my vitamins.
1312
00:57:58,160 --> 00:58:00,208
I do all that stuff,
too, Eric.
1313
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,443
Okay, I don't.
1314
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:03,806
You're right.
1315
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:05,484
You know, there's only
so many hours in a day,
1316
00:58:05,560 --> 00:58:08,166
and I'm always
running around the kids,
1317
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:10,288
and I guess I
leave you out a lot,
1318
00:58:10,400 --> 00:58:12,641
and I'm really gonna try harder
to make you feel special,
1319
00:58:12,720 --> 00:58:15,485
'cause you always make me feel
like the only girl in the world.
1320
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:17,881
I feel bad.
1321
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:19,200
Don't feel bad.
1322
00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:21,726
No, I do,
because today at the recital,
1323
00:58:21,800 --> 00:58:26,124
I couldn't stop
looking at Becky's teacher.
1324
00:58:26,240 --> 00:58:27,969
I don't mind you looking.
1325
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,122
I really don't.
Everybody looks.
1326
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:32,568
I was
looking today.
1327
00:58:32,640 --> 00:58:34,529
And I'm totally
fine with that.
1328
00:58:34,600 --> 00:58:37,046
As long as he was gay,
dead or a cartoon.
1329
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:38,610
Gay.
Okay.
1330
00:58:38,840 --> 00:58:41,047
But no matter who
or what we look at,
1331
00:58:41,200 --> 00:58:43,407
we'll always come back
to each other, right?
1332
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:46,851
Car wash!
Car wash! Whoo!
1333
00:58:46,960 --> 00:58:48,405
Support our team!
I'll prove it to you!
1334
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,528
Car wash!
1335
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:51,840
What are you doing?
1336
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:53,166
No,
no, you're gonna like this.
1337
00:58:53,720 --> 00:58:54,767
Hi, girls!
1338
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:58,489
Come on.
1339
00:59:00,120 --> 00:59:02,202
Honey,
you don't have to do this.
1340
00:59:02,280 --> 00:59:03,247
I want to.
1341
00:59:03,320 --> 00:59:05,209
Hi, girls!
1342
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:07,203
Wash it up extra soapy!
1343
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:09,203
You got it.
1344
00:59:09,280 --> 00:59:11,567
Oh, wait, hang on. There's a
car just in front of you.
1345
00:59:11,640 --> 00:59:12,641
Better do them first.
1346
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:13,767
Yo, got a customer!
1347
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,411
You take these guys,
we'll take the yellow car.
1348
00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:18,528
Extra soapy.
1349
00:59:22,800 --> 00:59:24,609
Oh, what is
happening right now?
1350
00:59:27,640 --> 00:59:30,166
I swear,
I didn't plan this.
1351
00:59:36,000 --> 00:59:38,731
No,no,no,no. Thank you. I'm good.
I'm good, thank you.
1352
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:41,007
Well, I might as
well enjoy this.
1353
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:24,287
Why is this never-ending?
1354
01:00:24,360 --> 01:00:27,330
At least the guys in the car
in front of us are having fun.
1355
01:00:39,760 --> 01:00:42,240
What are you doing?
Get in there!
1356
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:43,651
Let me do it.
1357
01:00:50,560 --> 01:00:52,369
Okay, everybody.
1358
01:00:52,440 --> 01:00:55,250
It wasn't a perfect day. I admit it.
There were some downs.
1359
01:00:55,320 --> 01:00:57,049
Sorry about the leg.
1360
01:00:57,120 --> 01:00:58,565
The good news is
1361
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:00,688
the children got through
another year of school.
1362
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:01,847
Fabulously.
1363
01:01:01,920 --> 01:01:04,844
You got older, even though I told you not to.
Especially you.
1364
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:06,684
Stay young. Don't leave me.
1365
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:10,162
You prepared us your famous
chicken á la food poisoning,
1366
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:11,526
which we're all
excited to eat.
1367
01:01:11,600 --> 01:01:14,046
I'm just kidding.
1368
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:16,361
But the greatest thing is, it's
my favorite part of the day
1369
01:01:16,440 --> 01:01:17,566
with my four best friends.
1370
01:01:17,640 --> 01:01:18,926
To the Feders!
1371
01:01:20,880 --> 01:01:23,611
So Bumpty asked me
out for ice cream today.
1372
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:27,844
I "went out for ice cream"
once with your dad.
1373
01:01:27,920 --> 01:01:31,129
Nine months later,
Andre popped out.
1374
01:01:32,760 --> 01:01:36,401
This is the best
vanilla pudding I've ever had.
1375
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,767
That's butter, son.
1376
01:01:41,200 --> 01:01:42,361
Here you go.
1377
01:01:42,440 --> 01:01:43,726
Oh, hey.
1378
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,046
Want me to come in
and feed it to you
1379
01:01:45,120 --> 01:01:47,202
like I did the last time?
1380
01:01:47,280 --> 01:01:49,521
No, no. I got my kid here.
1381
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:50,721
That wouldn't be cool.
1382
01:01:50,800 --> 01:01:53,201
You said you loved me!
1383
01:01:54,520 --> 01:01:56,284
They're not all tens, buddy.
1384
01:02:00,480 --> 01:02:02,289
Homeboy,
why aren't you eating?
1385
01:02:02,360 --> 01:02:05,045
I saw something today
that made me lose my appetite.
1386
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:07,851
What was it, me naked?
1387
01:02:09,640 --> 01:02:11,244
What?
1388
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:12,890
What's a burpsmart?
1389
01:02:12,960 --> 01:02:14,086
Burpsnorp?
1390
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:15,650
A burpsnart!
1391
01:02:15,720 --> 01:02:18,929
Basically, he burps, sneezes
and farts at the same time.
1392
01:02:19,000 --> 01:02:20,047
He goes...
1393
01:02:26,160 --> 01:02:28,401
I think I just shat myself.
1394
01:02:28,480 --> 01:02:31,245
Hey, honey, what time's
that Feder bash tonight?
1395
01:02:31,320 --> 01:02:32,970
What?
1396
01:02:33,040 --> 01:02:34,166
It's paint.
1397
01:02:34,240 --> 01:02:35,651
It doesn't come off.
1398
01:02:35,720 --> 01:02:38,087
I thought it might be fun
to have a theme, no?
1399
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:39,446
A theme?
1400
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:40,766
Roxanne decided
the theme is...
1401
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:44,686
The '80s?
1402
01:02:44,760 --> 01:02:46,808
That was 70 years ago.
1403
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:50,924
I thought we could
go as Hall & Oates.
1404
01:02:51,000 --> 01:02:51,967
Hall & Oates?
1405
01:02:52,080 --> 01:02:53,127
Yeah.
Yeah.
1406
01:02:53,200 --> 01:02:55,009
What is that,
like a cereal?
1407
01:02:55,080 --> 01:02:56,525
No.
1408
01:02:56,600 --> 01:02:58,045
Why don't you
ask Nancy Arbuckle
1409
01:02:58,200 --> 01:02:59,611
to come by for
the get-together?
1410
01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:02,570
Or do you prefer
the imaginary shower version?
1411
01:03:05,400 --> 01:03:07,767
You know what, Charlotte?
I trust you,
1412
01:03:07,840 --> 01:03:09,524
and I want you to
have fun tonight.
1413
01:03:09,600 --> 01:03:10,965
Really.
1414
01:03:14,120 --> 01:03:16,885
What's up, player?
I'm here for your daughter.
1415
01:03:19,760 --> 01:03:23,207
What...
1416
01:03:23,320 --> 01:03:25,891
Used to get 10 cases
of beer for my parties,
1417
01:03:26,000 --> 01:03:28,571
now I get 10
cases of juice boxes.
1418
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:30,405
Hey, Beckster.
1419
01:03:30,480 --> 01:03:32,164
Hey, Stud Muffin.
Hey.
1420
01:03:32,240 --> 01:03:35,562
Mommy calls him Stud Muffin,
so I call him Stud Muffin.
1421
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:36,687
Is that right?
1422
01:03:36,760 --> 01:03:39,331
You must be Roxanne's husband.
I'm Kyle.
1423
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:41,641
How do you know my wife
again there, Mud Stuffing?
1424
01:03:41,720 --> 01:03:43,563
I worked her out
this morning.
1425
01:03:43,640 --> 01:03:44,641
Oh, really?
1426
01:03:44,720 --> 01:03:47,326
I worked her out this morning,
too, pretty good.
1427
01:03:47,760 --> 01:03:48,841
All right.
1428
01:03:48,920 --> 01:03:50,843
Hi.
1429
01:03:50,920 --> 01:03:52,046
What's up?
1430
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:53,690
This is awkward.
1431
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:55,842
My husband's here.
1432
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:57,570
Why is that awkward?
1433
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,324
Why?
1434
01:03:59,400 --> 01:04:01,129
Well, let me give you a hint.
1435
01:04:02,760 --> 01:04:04,808
You have brain damage?
1436
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,367
I think we both know
what time it is, don't we?
1437
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:10,771
What time is it?
1438
01:04:10,840 --> 01:04:12,842
Oh, nothing.
1439
01:04:12,920 --> 01:04:16,766
It's just...
Just time to...
1440
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,524
Help me out here.
1441
01:04:18,760 --> 01:04:21,570
I'm lost right now. I'm sorry.
1442
01:04:21,640 --> 01:04:23,529
Wiley,
how'd Andre McKenzie do?
1443
01:04:23,600 --> 01:04:24,601
Did he pass his test?
1444
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:26,125
He squeaked by.
1445
01:04:26,200 --> 01:04:28,328
We didn't check out
any soapy cheerleaders.
1446
01:04:28,400 --> 01:04:30,084
What's going on
with you and my wife?
1447
01:04:30,160 --> 01:04:31,161
I'm gonna go.
1448
01:04:31,240 --> 01:04:32,571
Actually, why don't we all
go our separate ways.
1449
01:04:32,680 --> 01:04:34,921
I don't see any of these
conversations working out for me.
1450
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:36,365
Adios.
I'll see you tonight.
1451
01:04:36,440 --> 01:04:37,407
Hey-
1452
01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:38,641
I'll bring the Hubba Bubba.
1453
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:40,641
What?
1454
01:04:40,720 --> 01:04:42,768
Yeah, party
tonight '80s-style, huh?
1455
01:04:42,840 --> 01:04:44,649
Rocky III.
1456
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:45,801
Wiley!
1457
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:46,967
Okay-
1458
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:49,764
Hey, babe.
1459
01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:51,966
What does Penny's note say?
1460
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:54,967
Uh...
1461
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:58,084
She wrote,
"Mayonnaise, zitis..."
1462
01:04:58,160 --> 01:04:59,400
The other side.
1463
01:05:02,160 --> 01:05:04,561
"Meet me by your
mailbox at 11:00."
1464
01:05:04,640 --> 01:05:07,007
Why would I meet her
by my mailbox at 11:00?
1465
01:05:12,000 --> 01:05:14,321
You have any idea
what just happened there?
1466
01:05:14,400 --> 01:05:15,686
Not a clue.
1467
01:05:15,760 --> 01:05:18,161
I don't care who
your parents are.
1468
01:05:18,240 --> 01:05:19,844
You screw up, I fire you.
1469
01:05:19,920 --> 01:05:22,048
It's all good.
1470
01:05:22,120 --> 01:05:23,167
"It's all good"?
1471
01:05:23,240 --> 01:05:25,481
It's a family restaurant,
not a rap show.
1472
01:05:25,560 --> 01:05:27,130
It's all bad?
1473
01:05:27,200 --> 01:05:29,089
That's right, it is.
1474
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,525
You got a customer.
1475
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:33,604
I'm sorry. Welcome to
the Ice Cream House.
1476
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,330
Hi, Greg.
1477
01:05:35,400 --> 01:05:37,209
Nancy, hi.
1478
01:05:37,280 --> 01:05:40,045
I think you
crushed your cones.
1479
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,281
Oh, no.
1480
01:05:41,360 --> 01:05:42,771
That was a...
That was a squeeze test.
1481
01:05:42,840 --> 01:05:44,490
These cones failed.
1482
01:05:44,520 --> 01:05:47,091
We're gonna try cardboard cones next.
1483
01:05:47,160 --> 01:05:48,241
You're smiling.
1484
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,285
And number two.
1485
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:52,362
You have such
a nice smile.
1486
01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:54,124
Thanks.
1487
01:05:54,200 --> 01:05:57,124
Go out with me tonight before
your friends say I'm fugly.
1488
01:05:57,200 --> 01:05:59,282
Tonight?
1489
01:05:59,360 --> 01:06:00,441
Sure.
1490
01:06:00,560 --> 01:06:02,642
No freaking way.
1491
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:06,885
Your father used to do
that same three-step crap
1492
01:06:06,960 --> 01:06:08,291
when we were growing up.
1493
01:06:08,400 --> 01:06:10,641
It always worked then.
1494
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:12,529
Even on my wife.
1495
01:06:15,480 --> 01:06:18,484
I ain't no boy with
a mind you can toy,
1496
01:06:18,560 --> 01:06:21,484
'cause if this is a ploy,
I'll destroy Illinois.
1497
01:06:21,560 --> 01:06:24,325
It is so amazing how you can
freestyle like that.
1498
01:06:24,400 --> 01:06:27,370
I been laying it down
truthful since day one.
1499
01:06:30,440 --> 01:06:33,410
Well, I sing sometimes, too,
1500
01:06:33,480 --> 01:06:35,608
but only, like, in the shower.
1501
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,688
I'm scared to sing in
front of other people.
1502
01:06:37,760 --> 01:06:40,764
If you scared,
that means you don't got it.
1503
01:06:40,840 --> 01:06:44,322
Sorry to be blunt, but I don't front.
I'm hard-core.
1504
01:06:47,880 --> 01:06:49,484
Dinosaur!
1505
01:06:51,240 --> 01:06:53,527
How long ago was the '80s?
1506
01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,365
That was way
back in the 1900s.
1507
01:06:56,440 --> 01:06:57,646
We learned about it in school.
1508
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:58,767
It was wack.
1509
01:06:58,840 --> 01:07:01,844
The phones had long, curly
things coming out of the end.
1510
01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:03,570
You had to watch commercials.
1511
01:07:03,640 --> 01:07:04,721
No way.
1512
01:07:04,800 --> 01:07:06,131
Isn't that right, Bowser?
1513
01:07:08,160 --> 01:07:09,969
How we doing?
1514
01:07:10,040 --> 01:07:12,361
Hey, Dad, why do we have to
wear costumes and you don't?
1515
01:07:12,440 --> 01:07:13,805
I am wearing a costume.
1516
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:16,611
Bruce Springsteen,
Born in the U. S.A.
1517
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:19,329
Who's Bruce Springsteen?
1518
01:07:19,400 --> 01:07:21,368
I guess some guy
with a giant butt.
1519
01:07:21,560 --> 01:07:22,607
Ha.
1520
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:24,569
You don't know
who the Boss is?
1521
01:07:24,640 --> 01:07:26,165
I stink as a father.
1522
01:07:26,240 --> 01:07:28,242
You do not stink as a father.
1523
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,163
You're the best father I know.
1524
01:07:30,240 --> 01:07:32,607
That's why I don't understand
why you don't...
1525
01:07:32,680 --> 01:07:33,727
Why I don't want a baby?
1526
01:07:33,800 --> 01:07:36,280
Because I don't want one!
Let's move on from that!
1527
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,920
Oh, no. No, no.
1528
01:07:46,040 --> 01:07:47,804
Tell her it wasn't
you talking, Dad.
1529
01:07:47,880 --> 01:07:49,484
It was your flabby ass.
1530
01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:53,042
You want me to "accidentally"
break the other leg?
1531
01:07:58,800 --> 01:08:02,247
Hey, I'm sorry
I raised my voice.
1532
01:08:02,320 --> 01:08:03,924
In front of the children!
1533
01:08:04,000 --> 01:08:05,570
Right, in front of the kids.
1534
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:06,880
It's just, you...
1535
01:08:06,960 --> 01:08:09,611
All you're doing is bringing up
this baby thing over and over.
1536
01:08:09,680 --> 01:08:11,170
Are you going through, like,
1537
01:08:11,200 --> 01:08:15,250
a "womany" hormone situation
or something?
1538
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:17,089
Menopause?
1539
01:08:17,160 --> 01:08:19,128
What, you're not old enough for that?
I'm sorry.
1540
01:08:19,240 --> 01:08:20,924
Okay, no,
I meant schizophrenia.
1541
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:23,287
No, honey, honey, honey,
1542
01:08:23,360 --> 01:08:26,330
if we have another baby,
we're starting over, you know?
1543
01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:27,890
How about we just adopt a kid?
1544
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:29,246
Like
a 20-year-old who has a job.
1545
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:30,810
That way we could
make money off of him.
1546
01:08:31,360 --> 01:08:32,361
Oh!
1547
01:08:32,480 --> 01:08:35,768
I just... Don't you think we can
start concentrating on me and you?
1548
01:08:35,880 --> 01:08:38,406
That's all I'm saying.
It's our time.
1549
01:08:38,480 --> 01:08:43,088
Well, lam going through
kind of a hormone thing.
1550
01:08:43,160 --> 01:08:45,447
Ah, good,
there's pills for that.
1551
01:08:47,080 --> 01:08:48,969
I'm pregnant.
1552
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:54,408
Our guests are here.
1553
01:08:56,880 --> 01:09:00,009
Wait a minute,
when did we even have...
1554
01:09:00,400 --> 01:09:01,401
Oh.
1555
01:09:03,560 --> 01:09:07,724
Damn you, Motel 6 hot tub!
1556
01:09:07,800 --> 01:09:10,565
Wow.
Lenny, that's big, brother.
1557
01:09:10,640 --> 01:09:12,165
Yeah, four kids is the best.
1558
01:09:12,240 --> 01:09:13,651
What are you
talking about, Prince?
1559
01:09:13,720 --> 01:09:15,768
You told me it would be
the worst if that happened.
1560
01:09:15,880 --> 01:09:17,848
There's a lot of
great aspects to that.
1561
01:09:17,920 --> 01:09:21,527
Like, when Junior graduates
high school, you'll be 64.
1562
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:22,931
How is that a good thing?
1563
01:09:23,000 --> 01:09:24,729
Actually, it's horrifying.
1564
01:09:24,800 --> 01:09:26,723
I didn't do the math before
I opened my mouth. Sorry.
1565
01:09:26,800 --> 01:09:28,882
Whoo. Nice job, Cher.
1566
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:30,007
Okay, I'm not Cher.
1567
01:09:30,080 --> 01:09:32,162
I'm Meat Loaf, all right?
Yeah.
1568
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:34,527
You're Meat Loaf,
or you're made of meat loaf?
1569
01:09:34,600 --> 01:09:36,284
Who are you, Doug Henning?
1570
01:09:36,400 --> 01:09:38,164
I'm Oates.
1571
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,241
Where's Hall?
1572
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:41,681
Hall's having
a playdate with your kids.
1573
01:09:44,880 --> 01:09:46,848
Anyway, you got nothing
to worry about, Lenny.
1574
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:48,046
All right? You're a great dad.
1575
01:09:48,160 --> 01:09:49,650
Right, I know.
I broke my son's leg today.
1576
01:09:49,720 --> 01:09:50,881
That's a real good dad.
1577
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,291
Guys, you're
bumming me out, all right?
1578
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:53,640
This is supposed
to be party time.
1579
01:09:53,720 --> 01:09:56,690
This isn't gonna be a real party.
I'm drinking a juice box,
1580
01:09:56,760 --> 01:09:58,285
'cause I'm afraid my
wife's gonna yell at me
1581
01:09:58,440 --> 01:09:59,965
for getting drunk
in front of the kids.
1582
01:10:00,040 --> 01:10:03,249
How many of you guys have been to
a party in the past six months?
1583
01:10:04,560 --> 01:10:06,289
A party without
a bouncy house.
1584
01:10:07,720 --> 01:10:09,609
A party where they
actually invited you.
1585
01:10:11,080 --> 01:10:12,161
Yeah.
1586
01:10:12,240 --> 01:10:14,686
The party's over, fellas.
1587
01:10:14,760 --> 01:10:16,808
You saw the way those frat
guys treated us today.
1588
01:10:16,880 --> 01:10:18,245
We're irrelevant.
1589
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:19,560
We're losers.
1590
01:10:19,640 --> 01:10:20,687
We're old.
1591
01:10:20,760 --> 01:10:22,125
Lamonsoff
totally surrendered.
1592
01:10:22,200 --> 01:10:24,043
He's got a fanny pack on now,
for God's sake.
1593
01:10:24,120 --> 01:10:25,770
You know what, first of all,
1594
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,411
it's a "survanny" pack,
a survival fanny pack,
1595
01:10:28,480 --> 01:10:29,845
with many special features.
1596
01:10:29,920 --> 01:10:32,207
So you pull that triangle
and lasagna comes out?
1597
01:10:33,800 --> 01:10:35,211
Why don't you give it a shot?
1598
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,487
You got it.
I'll pull the string.
1599
01:10:43,840 --> 01:10:45,888
Yeah, good one, that was good.
1600
01:10:46,320 --> 01:10:48,243
Don't ever say
the party's over!
1601
01:10:50,520 --> 01:10:52,329
That didn't happen.
1602
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:58,328
Hey,
Richard Simmons is a hero.
1603
01:11:16,320 --> 01:11:18,402
No,no,no,no,no.
1604
01:11:18,480 --> 01:11:19,686
What's with all this Prince?
1605
01:11:19,760 --> 01:11:21,000
I'm Prince.
The hell.
1606
01:11:21,080 --> 01:11:22,411
You ain't Prince. I'm Prince.
1607
01:11:22,480 --> 01:11:24,084
My skin's way
lighter than yours.
1608
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:27,090
You should have came as Seal on
a hunger strike.
1609
01:11:27,160 --> 01:11:30,687
You look like Morgan Freeman
if he was a transvestite.
1610
01:11:30,760 --> 01:11:32,046
And what you
doing here, Bumpty?
1611
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:33,400
I thought you was
out with my daughter.
1612
01:11:33,480 --> 01:11:35,801
That ain't Bumpty.
That's my wife.
1613
01:11:35,880 --> 01:11:38,531
Oh, Mary!
I didn't recognize you.
1614
01:11:38,600 --> 01:11:39,886
Where's your costume?
1615
01:11:39,960 --> 01:11:42,884
I didn't find out about the
party until it was too late.
1616
01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,044
So you decided to
come as a black Muppet?
1617
01:11:46,400 --> 01:11:48,767
What?
1618
01:11:49,400 --> 01:11:52,847
Come on, you're my one and
only, sweetie-boo-mo-mo.
1619
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,647
Make a muscle for me?
1620
01:11:55,720 --> 01:11:56,846
Pwease?
1621
01:11:58,240 --> 01:11:59,366
Ooh!
1622
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,408
So bulgy.
1623
01:12:02,240 --> 01:12:06,325
Like a big caramel apple.
1624
01:12:16,320 --> 01:12:18,084
Wow.
1625
01:12:18,280 --> 01:12:21,921
I'm scared.
I feel safe with you.
1626
01:12:32,240 --> 01:12:33,924
Shut up.
1627
01:12:35,520 --> 01:12:39,081
You know, I can make
a connection with a woman.
1628
01:12:39,160 --> 01:12:41,367
I just can't sustain it.
1629
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,602
You know,
there's a distance there.
1630
01:12:43,800 --> 01:12:47,885
Try to fill it up pharmaceutically,
you know, with pills,
1631
01:12:47,960 --> 01:12:49,849
or the Discovery Channel,
1632
01:12:49,920 --> 01:12:52,082
or Dino Nuggets.
1633
01:12:52,440 --> 01:12:54,124
But nothing really works.
1634
01:12:54,200 --> 01:12:57,443
See, you understand,
you know?
1635
01:12:57,560 --> 01:12:59,608
'Cause you're, I heard,
1636
01:13:00,080 --> 01:13:02,606
sensitive
to men.
1637
01:13:03,000 --> 01:13:04,411
God, he's hot!
1638
01:13:04,480 --> 01:13:06,721
Zip it!
He'll find out our secret!
1639
01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:14,167
Drink up, partner.
1640
01:13:14,320 --> 01:13:15,321
Yeah!
1641
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:16,970
Lenny!
1642
01:13:17,080 --> 01:13:18,809
Uh-oh! Secret table.
1643
01:13:18,880 --> 01:13:21,042
Yes, honey, how are you?
What's going on?
1644
01:13:21,120 --> 01:13:22,724
We just trying to
get our punch on.
1645
01:13:22,800 --> 01:13:23,767
Becky's sleepy-
1646
01:13:23,840 --> 01:13:25,888
She wants her daddy
to put her to bed.
1647
01:13:25,960 --> 01:13:28,725
Well, Daddy's right about to
enjoy some refreshing punch,
1648
01:13:28,840 --> 01:13:30,763
so could you put her to sleep?
1649
01:13:30,840 --> 01:13:32,842
Well, you wouldn't want
to have too much punch
1650
01:13:32,920 --> 01:13:35,241
with all these
kids running around.
1651
01:13:35,360 --> 01:13:36,850
You know what,
I'd be okay with that.
1652
01:13:36,920 --> 01:13:38,251
Actually, you wouldn't.
1653
01:13:38,320 --> 01:13:39,685
Gotcha.
1654
01:13:39,760 --> 01:13:42,604
I'll be back soon, fellas. I'll be back soon.
That's a promise.
1655
01:13:42,680 --> 01:13:44,250
Let's go, little girl.
Good night.
1656
01:13:44,320 --> 01:13:45,481
Time to go to sleep.
1657
01:13:45,840 --> 01:13:47,524
Close your eyes.
1658
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,365
Yeah, Mom.
1659
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:56,367
As easy as
making a free throw.
1660
01:13:58,520 --> 01:14:00,727
Hey, Bean,
Becky went to sleep.
1661
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:03,451
I think it's time for you to hit it, pal.
What do you say?
1662
01:14:03,520 --> 01:14:04,806
Oh, no, no, don't touch that.
1663
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:06,291
Yeah, you might break it.
1664
01:14:10,360 --> 01:14:12,044
What...
1665
01:14:12,120 --> 01:14:13,929
Where did you
learn how to do that?
1666
01:14:14,040 --> 01:14:15,804
I saw it in one of my dreams.
1667
01:14:20,640 --> 01:14:22,927
You're a genius?
1668
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:25,287
My boy's a genius.
1669
01:14:29,880 --> 01:14:32,690
Your dad's also a genius.
1670
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:35,240
Sweet dreams there,
angel, okay?
1671
01:14:35,320 --> 01:14:38,449
Daddy, can you lay in bed
with me till I fall asleep?
1672
01:14:38,520 --> 01:14:41,126
What do you mean? I thought you are sleepy.
That's why we came up here.
1673
01:14:41,200 --> 01:14:43,567
Please lay down.
1674
01:14:44,320 --> 01:14:45,321
Oh!
1675
01:14:46,880 --> 01:14:48,120
I'll lay down with you, then.
1676
01:14:48,200 --> 01:14:51,329
I just... There's
a party going on, but...
1677
01:14:51,400 --> 01:14:52,970
Can you tell me a story?
1678
01:14:53,040 --> 01:14:54,644
Look who was in
the neighborhood!
1679
01:14:54,760 --> 01:14:57,923
Some of Lenny's friends
from the old J. Geils Band!
1680
01:15:11,800 --> 01:15:13,040
Daddy?
1681
01:15:13,160 --> 01:15:14,400
You don't want one slug?
1682
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,845
No.
1683
01:15:15,920 --> 01:15:18,082
I thought you liked
this stuff. Sorry.
1684
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:22,209
All right.
I'll tell you a story.
1685
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:28,202
Once upon a time,
there was a hand,
1686
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:31,803
and the hand
faced-raked the child.
1687
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:35,563
Sleep!
1688
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,167
Slee...
1689
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,084
Sleep!
1690
01:15:41,760 --> 01:15:45,970
Boy, Feder's cranking his old rock
and roll records pretty loud.
1691
01:15:46,440 --> 01:15:48,283
Guess he's never
heard of neighbors.
1692
01:15:51,040 --> 01:15:52,280
Now, why you stopping here?
1693
01:15:52,480 --> 01:15:53,925
I need some air.
1694
01:15:54,000 --> 01:15:55,161
You need some air?
1695
01:15:55,240 --> 01:15:56,480
We haven't even
gotten to the party yet.
1696
01:15:56,640 --> 01:15:57,880
I would appreciate it
1697
01:15:57,960 --> 01:16:00,281
if you would stop
trying to "manage" me.
1698
01:16:01,560 --> 01:16:03,688
Word, word.
1699
01:16:04,200 --> 01:16:05,725
Want me to stay
and wait with you?
1700
01:16:05,800 --> 01:16:09,771
I just want to be alone!
1701
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:13,044
Yo, don't believe the hype.
1702
01:16:13,120 --> 01:16:15,122
Boy!
1703
01:16:24,280 --> 01:16:28,604
Daddy, I can't fall asleep
without Mr. Gigglesworth.
1704
01:16:28,680 --> 01:16:31,081
You told me he would be okay.
1705
01:16:31,160 --> 01:16:33,162
He will be. I...
1706
01:16:33,240 --> 01:16:35,481
He just needs to rest
a little bit longer, okay?
1707
01:16:35,640 --> 01:16:38,883
Please, Daddy.
I need to see him.
1708
01:16:39,600 --> 01:16:43,321
He had a very rough day.
1709
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:48,089
But I'll get him for you,
because you need to see him.
1710
01:16:49,720 --> 01:16:53,042
Doing leg lifts. I work
out when I can, you know?
1711
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:54,925
Want some Daddy
candy right here?
1712
01:16:55,000 --> 01:16:56,968
Why are you naked?
1713
01:16:57,040 --> 01:16:58,565
Global warming.
1714
01:16:59,080 --> 01:17:00,320
Why is this empty?
1715
01:17:00,400 --> 01:17:01,845
Where is Gigglesworth?
Hey, hey.
1716
01:17:01,920 --> 01:17:04,969
I'm sorry, man.
Were you looking for this?
1717
01:17:05,040 --> 01:17:06,280
Why's he look good?
1718
01:17:06,360 --> 01:17:07,646
I sewed him.
1719
01:17:07,720 --> 01:17:08,801
You sew?
1720
01:17:08,880 --> 01:17:09,961
Where'd you learn how to sew?
1721
01:17:10,040 --> 01:17:11,121
Gay camp-
1722
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,441
You went to gay camp?
You're gay?
1723
01:17:13,600 --> 01:17:16,171
No, no. No, I mean, I'm gay,
1724
01:17:16,240 --> 01:17:18,811
but no, there's no such thing as
gay camp, man. It was a joke.
1725
01:17:18,880 --> 01:17:20,689
I learned to sew from my dad,
who was a tailor.
1726
01:17:20,760 --> 01:17:23,331
I've been sewing since
I was Becky's age. Here.
1727
01:17:23,480 --> 01:17:25,403
This is great.
1728
01:17:25,880 --> 01:17:27,928
Gigglesworth's okay,
1729
01:17:28,000 --> 01:17:30,207
you're not fooling
around with my wife,
1730
01:17:30,280 --> 01:17:31,520
and you got a pee stain.
1731
01:17:35,680 --> 01:17:37,842
That is not mine.
1732
01:17:47,080 --> 01:17:49,082
You're an animal.
1733
01:17:54,880 --> 01:17:57,770
I am the law!
1734
01:18:02,920 --> 01:18:03,921
Oh!
1735
01:18:07,560 --> 01:18:09,688
Can you dig it?
1736
01:18:19,520 --> 01:18:20,521
Ah!
1737
01:18:21,120 --> 01:18:23,441
Come on, big man, Lenny's
got, like, 12 bathrooms.
1738
01:18:23,640 --> 01:18:25,722
I don't got to go
to the bathroom.
1739
01:18:25,800 --> 01:18:27,450
I'm just enjoying the water.
1740
01:18:27,960 --> 01:18:29,928
Get out.
1741
01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:32,606
Hurry! Hurry!
1742
01:18:32,680 --> 01:18:34,364
Oh, Fluzoo, come on!
1743
01:18:34,480 --> 01:18:37,324
That's not even warm.
It's hot.
1744
01:18:42,320 --> 01:18:44,402
I got to give it to
your old man for one thing.
1745
01:18:44,480 --> 01:18:47,290
He could always throw a party.
1746
01:18:47,360 --> 01:18:48,964
This is my dad's party?
1747
01:18:52,440 --> 01:18:55,489
Check out your girlfriend
in the Pat Benatar outfit.
1748
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:18,365
Charlotte,
1749
01:19:18,480 --> 01:19:19,766
that was amazing.
1750
01:19:19,840 --> 01:19:21,251
Where'd you learn
to sing like that?
1751
01:19:21,360 --> 01:19:24,921
No place. I just sing a little
in the shower.
1752
01:19:25,160 --> 01:19:27,481
Maybe you should stick to the shower.
1753
01:19:31,400 --> 01:19:32,447
Bumpty!
1754
01:19:32,520 --> 01:19:33,806
Do me a favor
and shut your mouth
1755
01:19:33,880 --> 01:19:36,804
before I slap that
Mohawk into a chin strap.
1756
01:19:36,880 --> 01:19:38,484
What?
1757
01:19:53,080 --> 01:19:54,320
Hey.
1758
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,448
Who invited you guys?
1759
01:19:56,560 --> 01:19:58,881
Your beautiful wife does.
1760
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:00,166
Well, she invited her,
1761
01:20:00,240 --> 01:20:03,164
and naturally,
we assumed it was a plus one.
1762
01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:04,801
There a problem?
1763
01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:08,521
No, I was gonna say,
great Terminator outfit
1764
01:20:08,600 --> 01:20:11,365
and Robert Palmer
thing you got on, and...
1765
01:20:12,800 --> 01:20:14,404
Nice babble.
1766
01:20:15,640 --> 01:20:16,971
- How about this?
- No.
1767
01:20:17,080 --> 01:20:18,127
What about that?
1768
01:20:18,200 --> 01:20:20,362
Does that hurt?
Is that hurting you?
1769
01:20:20,440 --> 01:20:21,521
Yes, it is hurting me.
1770
01:20:21,600 --> 01:20:24,331
Oh. Okay.
Well, let me do it some more.
1771
01:20:24,400 --> 01:20:26,687
You got something to say?
1772
01:20:26,800 --> 01:20:28,450
Actually, Cavanaugh.
1773
01:20:28,600 --> 01:20:32,161
You want to stay at my party,
I think you owe me an apology.
1774
01:20:32,240 --> 01:20:33,241
For what?
1775
01:20:33,320 --> 01:20:36,210
For back in the day,
always giving me crap.
1776
01:20:36,480 --> 01:20:38,528
You don't want to
let bygones be bygones?
1777
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:41,809
I do.
After you apologize to me.
1778
01:20:42,240 --> 01:20:44,049
For stuff I did 30 years ago?
1779
01:20:44,120 --> 01:20:47,681
There isn't a statute of
limitations on being a dick.
1780
01:20:47,760 --> 01:20:49,808
What'd you just say?
1781
01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:51,723
I said what I said.
1782
01:20:51,800 --> 01:20:53,848
You and me are
fighting right now.
1783
01:20:53,920 --> 01:20:56,127
Now, let's go!
Let's get it over with.
1784
01:20:58,160 --> 01:21:00,527
Oh, man, looks like our
friend's about to die.
1785
01:21:00,600 --> 01:21:02,489
Lenny, what's going on?
I'm calling the police!
1786
01:21:02,600 --> 01:21:05,171
We're already here.
1787
01:21:07,960 --> 01:21:09,246
Hold my hair, woman.
1788
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,246
You ready for this?
1789
01:21:11,320 --> 01:21:14,085
Not at all,
but I'm gonna do this,
1790
01:21:14,160 --> 01:21:16,128
'cause I got to show
my son what's right.
1791
01:21:19,960 --> 01:21:21,724
We'd do anything for
our boys, wouldn't we?
1792
01:21:21,800 --> 01:21:23,211
Absolutely.
1793
01:21:23,280 --> 01:21:24,406
Yeah.
1794
01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,050
My boy's over in Afghanistan.
1795
01:21:26,120 --> 01:21:29,522
Well, you raised him right.
I hope he gets home safe soon.
1796
01:21:29,600 --> 01:21:31,045
Yeah, me, too.
1797
01:21:31,120 --> 01:21:32,565
Sucker-punch him, Feder.
1798
01:21:32,640 --> 01:21:37,009
Lick his bicep. Lick it,
bite it, lick the tan off.
1799
01:21:38,640 --> 01:21:40,688
All right,
here's what's gonna happen.
1800
01:21:40,760 --> 01:21:43,445
Hit me right on the chin. I'll
go down like a sack of potatoes.
1801
01:21:43,520 --> 01:21:44,601
What are you talking about?
1802
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:45,767
Just do it.
1803
01:21:45,840 --> 01:21:48,320
I know you'd do the same for
me if my boy was watching.
1804
01:21:49,320 --> 01:21:51,163
Let's get busy, Hollywood!
1805
01:21:58,440 --> 01:21:59,885
No! Don't hit me, please!
1806
01:21:59,960 --> 01:22:01,883
I'm sorry.
Please don't hit me.
1807
01:22:01,960 --> 01:22:03,371
You would tear
me limb from limb.
1808
01:22:03,480 --> 01:22:04,766
Open this.
1809
01:22:04,840 --> 01:22:06,080
The only reason
I picked on you
1810
01:22:06,200 --> 01:22:07,486
was because I
was afraid of you.
1811
01:22:07,560 --> 01:22:08,971
What?
Oh, my God.
1812
01:22:09,040 --> 01:22:11,042
Please, please, please.
Just go with it.
1813
01:22:11,120 --> 01:22:13,407
I didn't think anyone would
believe you could knock me out.
1814
01:22:13,480 --> 01:22:17,280
Please. Don't hit me.
1815
01:22:17,360 --> 01:22:20,443
Cavanaugh's crying.
This is ridiculous!
1816
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:21,487
Cavanaugh.
1817
01:22:21,560 --> 01:22:23,130
You mean you don't
want me to hit you with this?
1818
01:22:23,200 --> 01:22:24,201
No! Please.
1819
01:22:24,440 --> 01:22:26,488
Or the elbow?
1820
01:22:26,840 --> 01:22:28,285
Finger in the eye!
1821
01:22:28,360 --> 01:22:30,249
Wow.
Listen to this guy!
1822
01:22:30,320 --> 01:22:33,847
All right, get up.
Straighten up.
1823
01:22:34,160 --> 01:22:35,969
I'm not gonna hit you,
1824
01:22:36,560 --> 01:22:40,963
but if you ever disrespect me
1825
01:22:41,040 --> 01:22:42,849
or anybody,
1826
01:22:42,920 --> 01:22:44,763
I will hunt you down,
1827
01:22:44,840 --> 01:22:48,481
and I will slap you
into a pile of tattoos,
1828
01:22:49,040 --> 01:22:50,724
bad breath
1829
01:22:51,400 --> 01:22:52,481
and back zits.
1830
01:22:53,520 --> 01:22:55,488
Oh, please.
1831
01:22:55,560 --> 01:22:57,688
Do you understand me?
1832
01:22:57,920 --> 01:22:59,524
Yes, I understand you.
1833
01:22:59,600 --> 01:23:02,206
Do you understand me?
1834
01:23:02,280 --> 01:23:04,726
Yes, I understand you!
1835
01:23:05,080 --> 01:23:06,809
Then walk away
before I change my mind.
1836
01:23:06,880 --> 01:23:08,291
Thank you very much.
1837
01:23:14,040 --> 01:23:15,087
Hey, man, look at him!
1838
01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:16,167
What just happened?
1839
01:23:16,240 --> 01:23:18,163
Lenny! Lenny! Lenny!
1840
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,483
Oh, my God, that was the
manliest thing you ever did.
1841
01:23:21,600 --> 01:23:24,968
You get extra special
hip-hop dance tonight.
1842
01:23:25,040 --> 01:23:26,644
Word up.
1843
01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:32,528
Hey, guys, if you see Leonard,
1844
01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:36,161
could you tell him that I'm
here waiting like we arranged?
1845
01:23:36,280 --> 01:23:38,009
GUYS? Guys?
1846
01:23:39,520 --> 01:23:43,002
Yeah, okay.
Okay, lam a person!
1847
01:23:43,120 --> 01:23:45,043
That was awesome, by the way.
Had to. Had to.
1848
01:23:45,120 --> 01:23:46,531
Yeah, yeah, you had to.
1849
01:23:46,600 --> 01:23:48,204
He let you off the hook,
didn't he?
1850
01:23:48,280 --> 01:23:51,204
He did, he did,
but I had to go with it.
1851
01:23:56,760 --> 01:23:58,603
I can't believe it!
1852
01:23:58,720 --> 01:24:00,882
We hit the moron jackpot!
1853
01:24:00,960 --> 01:24:05,249
Everybody who needs a beating,
conveniently together on one lawn.
1854
01:24:05,320 --> 01:24:06,810
Who are they?
1855
01:24:06,880 --> 01:24:09,326
Brunson University frat guys.
1856
01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:12,171
Oh, God, I hate white people.
1857
01:24:12,280 --> 01:24:15,045
Excuse me, why are you here?
What's the matter?
1858
01:24:15,120 --> 01:24:18,169
I tell you what is the matter.
1859
01:24:18,280 --> 01:24:20,965
These old townies
trashed our frat house!
1860
01:24:21,040 --> 01:24:24,761
And nobody treats our good-times
headquarters with disrespect!
1861
01:24:24,840 --> 01:24:26,888
Yeah!
1862
01:24:27,040 --> 01:24:29,964
They didn't do it.
1863
01:24:30,040 --> 01:24:31,405
Me do it.
1864
01:24:31,480 --> 01:24:33,767
Don't try and
cover for him, Z-Dog!
1865
01:24:33,880 --> 01:24:35,325
Who's Z-Dog?
1866
01:24:35,400 --> 01:24:36,686
We know they're
trying to get back at us
1867
01:24:36,800 --> 01:24:39,007
for making them do the naked
plunge in our swimming hole.
1868
01:24:39,080 --> 01:24:40,764
Your swimming hole?
I've been swimming
1869
01:24:40,880 --> 01:24:42,564
at the quarry since I
was eight years old.
1870
01:24:42,680 --> 01:24:45,081
Apparently,
everybody in this crap town
1871
01:24:45,160 --> 01:24:47,970
has been swimming there since
they were eight years old.
1872
01:24:48,040 --> 01:24:50,042
I guess nobody
wants to leave this dump
1873
01:24:50,160 --> 01:24:52,162
because they're
too busy sucking!
1874
01:24:57,640 --> 01:24:58,926
We'll finish later.
1875
01:24:59,000 --> 01:25:00,445
You promise?
I promise.
1876
01:25:00,520 --> 01:25:02,329
- Okay.
- Hey, smart guy!
1877
01:25:02,400 --> 01:25:04,562
Lenny Feder left this town,
1878
01:25:04,640 --> 01:25:07,689
moved to Hollywood,
made big bucks,
1879
01:25:07,760 --> 01:25:10,161
probably more money than
all you brainiacs put together
1880
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,241
ever will.
1881
01:25:11,320 --> 01:25:12,526
But guess what?
1882
01:25:12,640 --> 01:25:14,244
He came back here.
1883
01:25:14,320 --> 01:25:16,607
'Cause this
beautiful town is his home.
1884
01:25:16,720 --> 01:25:19,041
And it always
will be his home.
1885
01:25:24,360 --> 01:25:28,365
Well, that was just a moving
testament to this community, bro!
1886
01:25:28,440 --> 01:25:32,604
But we didn't come here
to hear any lame speeches.
1887
01:25:32,680 --> 01:25:37,288
We came here to kick
some old, smelly ass!
1888
01:25:43,000 --> 01:25:45,287
Fellas, we may be old.
1889
01:25:45,400 --> 01:25:46,640
We may be smelly.
1890
01:25:46,720 --> 01:25:48,722
We may have a penis.
1891
01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:54,571
But the only ones getting
their ass kicked around here
1892
01:25:54,640 --> 01:25:57,530
is gonna be you spoiled,
1893
01:25:57,640 --> 01:26:01,531
privileged, uppity,
preppy D-bags.
1894
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:02,806
You hear that?
1895
01:26:02,880 --> 01:26:05,281
Now, let's get busy!
1896
01:26:46,120 --> 01:26:47,690
Come on, son!
1897
01:26:47,760 --> 01:26:48,727
You ain't tough!
1898
01:26:48,800 --> 01:26:50,245
Hit him!
1899
01:26:50,920 --> 01:26:55,369
Yeah, Braden!
Whoo! Yeah! Damn!
1900
01:26:55,480 --> 01:26:56,970
You want this?
Uh-oh!
1901
01:27:01,320 --> 01:27:02,606
Sir, please stop it!
1902
01:27:02,680 --> 01:27:04,921
That's not a sir!
That's a woman!
1903
01:27:05,000 --> 01:27:07,128
My woman!
1904
01:27:07,240 --> 01:27:09,402
Come on, babe.
1905
01:27:14,120 --> 01:27:16,043
Oh, you're so hot.
1906
01:27:22,440 --> 01:27:24,442
Don't bust my face!
1907
01:27:25,000 --> 01:27:26,490
You saved me.
1908
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:31,688
I will protect you for
the rest of your life.
1909
01:27:31,760 --> 01:27:34,843
Oh, okay, blow dryer boy.
1910
01:27:38,320 --> 01:27:39,606
Oh, God, no!
1911
01:27:39,680 --> 01:27:41,728
No! No!
1912
01:27:41,800 --> 01:27:43,802
Yeah! Yeah!
1913
01:27:43,880 --> 01:27:45,609
Having a good anniversary,
babe?
1914
01:27:45,680 --> 01:27:47,011
Oh, honey, the best.
1915
01:27:51,520 --> 01:27:52,931
I can't breathe.
1916
01:27:53,000 --> 01:27:54,126
Choking me!
1917
01:28:04,720 --> 01:28:05,926
Yeah!
1918
01:28:06,000 --> 01:28:07,809
We did it. We did it, man.
1919
01:28:07,880 --> 01:28:08,847
Yeah.
1920
01:28:08,920 --> 01:28:10,365
We make a good team.
1921
01:28:10,440 --> 01:28:11,965
Yeah. Yeah, that was fun.
1922
01:28:43,640 --> 01:28:44,766
Boomer!
1923
01:28:44,880 --> 01:28:46,086
What's going on?
1924
01:28:46,160 --> 01:28:47,605
This!
1925
01:28:47,680 --> 01:28:50,490
You're a traitor, Boomer!
1926
01:28:50,560 --> 01:28:51,766
His name's not Boomer!
1927
01:28:52,840 --> 01:28:54,126
Oh!
It's Gary.
1928
01:28:54,200 --> 01:28:55,361
It's Greg.
1929
01:28:55,440 --> 01:28:57,647
Oh, Greg.
1930
01:29:04,640 --> 01:29:06,961
Oh, my God!
Did you see his head?
1931
01:29:07,040 --> 01:29:08,769
He's got a... He's bald!
1932
01:29:08,920 --> 01:29:10,365
I got a wild one!
1933
01:29:10,440 --> 01:29:12,204
I got a wild one!
Whoo hoo hoo!
1934
01:29:14,080 --> 01:29:15,684
Noogie, noogie, noogie.
1935
01:29:15,760 --> 01:29:17,808
Nobody noogies my brother!
1936
01:29:19,680 --> 01:29:22,081
My brain! My brain!
1937
01:29:26,720 --> 01:29:28,484
B.U.!
1938
01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:30,050
Hey, man! I had that one.
1939
01:29:30,120 --> 01:29:31,724
I know you did, big brother.
1940
01:29:31,800 --> 01:29:32,767
Get out of here!
1941
01:29:32,840 --> 01:29:33,841
Don't hit me!
1942
01:29:33,960 --> 01:29:36,884
Hey, hey, look who showed up.
1943
01:29:36,960 --> 01:29:39,930
Flippy-boy. Yeah, you want to
flip your way out of this?
1944
01:29:41,280 --> 01:29:42,725
Too slow, old man.
1945
01:29:42,800 --> 01:29:44,131
Where you work out, Cinnabon?
1946
01:29:47,280 --> 01:29:48,566
Look who's back up, baby.
1947
01:29:48,640 --> 01:29:50,642
I didn't know we were kicking.
Give me a second to stretch.
1948
01:29:50,720 --> 01:29:52,006
All right.
1949
01:29:52,080 --> 01:29:53,525
We're gonna
throw some legs, huh?
1950
01:29:53,600 --> 01:29:55,284
You want to
throw some legs, huh?
1951
01:29:57,280 --> 01:29:59,123
Boom!
1952
01:29:59,200 --> 01:30:00,929
That just happened.
1953
01:30:01,720 --> 01:30:04,087
What,
were you raised by ninjas?
1954
01:30:05,560 --> 01:30:07,244
Congratulations.
1955
01:30:07,320 --> 01:30:08,321
You won the fight.
1956
01:30:08,400 --> 01:30:09,401
Here's your prize.
1957
01:30:10,000 --> 01:30:11,001
Aw!
1958
01:30:11,080 --> 01:30:14,368
Thanks, little girl.
it looks just like you.
1959
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:18,684
It's a monkey!
1960
01:30:19,160 --> 01:30:20,286
Look at me!
1961
01:30:20,360 --> 01:30:23,330
I'm a stupid little monkey.
1962
01:30:27,400 --> 01:30:29,801
Good night.
1963
01:30:32,480 --> 01:30:34,642
Come on, guys!
We got to get out!
1964
01:30:34,720 --> 01:30:36,085
Let's go!
1965
01:30:38,120 --> 01:30:39,884
Lenny! Baby.
1966
01:30:39,960 --> 01:30:41,724
Baby, are you all right?
I'm coming for you, Leonard!
1967
01:30:43,360 --> 01:30:46,250
I'm here for you, Leonard.
I'm here for you.
1968
01:30:46,320 --> 01:30:48,288
Who... Who are you?
1969
01:30:48,360 --> 01:30:49,885
It's your pretty, shiny Penny.
1970
01:30:51,880 --> 01:30:54,451
Oops, sorry,
I kicked your barrette.
1971
01:30:58,240 --> 01:31:00,402
Sorry, honey!
1972
01:31:02,360 --> 01:31:05,523
You guys were Fuji
and Tanaka out there.
1973
01:31:05,600 --> 01:31:07,011
This is just like high school.
1974
01:31:07,080 --> 01:31:10,971
Get drunk, get in a fight, wind up
back at Lamonsoff's, eating eggs.
1975
01:31:11,040 --> 01:31:13,042
Except for
the drunk part, Mommy.
1976
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:14,321
Oh.
1977
01:31:15,360 --> 01:31:19,046
Oh, all you guys together
brings back so many memories.
1978
01:31:19,560 --> 01:31:20,846
Whoa, Dickie,
is this you and Lenny?
1979
01:31:20,960 --> 01:31:22,246
Let's see.
1980
01:31:22,360 --> 01:31:24,522
Yeah, me and Hollywood were
best friends in kindergarten.
1981
01:31:24,600 --> 01:31:25,886
Yep.
What happened?
1982
01:31:26,000 --> 01:31:28,480
What do you mean, "What happened?"
We were in different classes.
1983
01:31:28,560 --> 01:31:29,800
We kind of
drifted apart, right?
1984
01:31:29,920 --> 01:31:32,082
Yeah. He was in
those smart classes.
1985
01:31:32,160 --> 01:31:33,650
I was in the other classes.
1986
01:31:36,280 --> 01:31:37,645
Hey, who's this guy?
1987
01:31:37,760 --> 01:31:39,603
- Anybody remember him?
- Who is that?
1988
01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:40,846
Wow,
what happened to that kid?
1989
01:31:40,920 --> 01:31:42,160
He's still here.
1990
01:31:45,520 --> 01:31:47,887
Why do I know my new kid's gonna
end up looking like that?
1991
01:31:47,960 --> 01:31:49,086
You're having a baby, Lenny?
1992
01:31:49,200 --> 01:31:50,326
Yeah.
1993
01:31:50,440 --> 01:31:51,930
Yeah, so I'm told,
Mrs. Lamonsoff.
1994
01:31:52,080 --> 01:31:53,730
Oh, a surprise, huh?
1995
01:31:53,800 --> 01:31:55,165
Yes.
1996
01:31:55,280 --> 01:31:58,841
People today try to
plan things out so much.
1997
01:31:58,920 --> 01:32:02,129
But don't think an unexpected
child is loved any less
1998
01:32:02,200 --> 01:32:04,441
than one you planned for.
1999
01:32:05,080 --> 01:32:06,730
Someday, Lenny,
you won't even remember
2000
01:32:06,840 --> 01:32:08,524
what life was like
with just three children.
2001
01:32:09,960 --> 01:32:11,803
You think we wanted Eric?
2002
01:32:11,920 --> 01:32:13,410
He was an accident.
Mama.
2003
01:32:13,480 --> 01:32:16,609
His father and I were in the
men's room at a Patriots game...
2004
01:32:16,680 --> 01:32:18,842
You know what, I think I'm
just gonna turn the page here.
2005
01:32:18,920 --> 01:32:21,002
I'm turning the page.
2006
01:32:21,080 --> 01:32:22,525
Finish the story!
2007
01:32:33,000 --> 01:32:36,163
Officer Dante's
passed out on our lawn.
2008
01:32:36,240 --> 01:32:39,767
I know. I saw him
trying to arrest an anthill.
2009
01:32:42,840 --> 01:32:44,922
Want to talk about
the whole pregnancy thing?
2010
01:32:47,040 --> 01:32:48,087
Mmm.
2011
01:32:48,160 --> 01:32:50,003
It's okay.
We'll talk tomorrow.
2012
01:32:50,080 --> 01:32:51,320
Okay-
2013
01:32:51,400 --> 01:32:54,722
Okay, you go to sleep. I'll make
this between me and the baby.
2014
01:33:02,160 --> 01:33:04,162
Hello in there.
2015
01:33:04,560 --> 01:33:06,210
This is your daddy speaking.
2016
01:33:08,040 --> 01:33:11,328
I just want to tell you
welcome to the family,
2017
01:33:11,400 --> 01:33:14,847
and I love you very,
very, very much.
2018
01:33:15,160 --> 01:33:19,006
I really don't care if
you're a boy or girl.
2019
01:33:19,960 --> 01:33:22,930
I just need you to
promise me one thing.
2020
01:33:23,360 --> 01:33:27,160
When you're in elementary
school, study ballet,
2021
01:33:27,240 --> 01:33:29,925
so I can see that teacher
as much as possible.
2022
01:33:30,320 --> 01:33:31,287
Hey-
2023
01:33:31,360 --> 01:33:33,283
I knew that was coming.
2024
01:33:35,200 --> 01:33:38,727
To be honest, I don't need
no stinking ballet teacher.
2025
01:33:39,040 --> 01:33:41,850
I'm married to the most
beautiful woman in the world,
2026
01:33:41,920 --> 01:33:43,206
your mommy.
2027
01:33:43,880 --> 01:33:45,530
Are you saying
sweet things to me
2028
01:33:45,680 --> 01:33:47,364
because you want
to fool around?
2029
01:33:47,640 --> 01:33:50,405
That would be a nice way
to kick off the summer.
2030
01:33:50,520 --> 01:33:53,649
Okay, Mr. Romantic.
2031
01:33:54,000 --> 01:33:55,764
But let's do this quick,
2032
01:33:55,840 --> 01:33:57,683
we have a big
day tomorrow, okay?
2033
01:33:57,760 --> 01:33:58,966
Absolutely.
2034
01:33:59,040 --> 01:34:00,804
Watch your head in there.
2035
01:34:04,080 --> 01:34:05,081
LENNY; Whoo!
2036
01:34:06,960 --> 01:34:09,281
Hang on.
Hang on. I'm sorry, honey.
2037
01:34:09,360 --> 01:34:12,569
Don't move. Don't move.
Oh, my God, I'm going to!
2038
01:34:15,080 --> 01:34:19,722
I did it! I burpsnarted! Yes!
2039
01:34:19,840 --> 01:34:21,490
Lenny, grow up!
2040
01:34:21,560 --> 01:34:23,927
I did it for the baby!