1
00:00:42,198 --> 00:00:44,087
I'm so happy you picked this dress... Veruca..!
2
00:00:44,499 --> 00:00:46,037
- You look beautiful.
- Doesn't she..?
3
00:00:46,773 --> 00:00:50,189
You guys, I'm getting married..!!!
I'm getting married!
4
00:00:50,870 --> 00:00:53,740
Not without your veil, you're not.
5
00:00:54,198 --> 00:00:56,435
- Where is that bad boy...?
- Oh, I think I left it upstairs.
6
00:00:56,562 --> 00:01:00,114
Oh....Don't worry. I'll get it,
7
00:01:00,599 --> 00:01:02,074
Sis.. Hmmm
8
00:01:06,455 --> 00:01:08,179
She is so annoying.
9
00:01:08,311 --> 00:01:09,805
And so ugly.
10
00:01:09,975 --> 00:01:11,666
She looks like Karl Malden.
11
00:01:11,831 --> 00:01:14,897
I know, and she's gonna be my sister-in-law
in an hour!
12
00:01:15,063 --> 00:01:16,623
How are you gonna deal with that..?
13
00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:18,516
I'm just gonna lay down the law for Danny.
14
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:22,062
We're seeing his goofy family
as little as possible.
15
00:01:22,232 --> 00:01:24,174
You sure he's gonna go along with that?
16
00:01:24,344 --> 00:01:28,851
Danny doesn't say no to me.
Believe me, I have him well-trained.
17
00:01:30,104 --> 00:01:33,814
So, tell us,
what happened with Eric last night...?
18
00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:38,099
So, I told him
if he wanted to stop the wedding,
19
00:01:38,201 --> 00:01:40,622
he had to speak now
or forever hold his peace.
20
00:01:40,825 --> 00:01:42,069
And what'd he say?
21
00:01:42,201 --> 00:01:45,266
He said he's never gonna settle down,
and I should just go ahead and marry Danny.
22
00:01:46,361 --> 00:01:48,149
Did he give you a wedding present, huh?
23
00:01:48,312 --> 00:01:49,557
- You're so horny!
- Yeah.
24
00:01:50,361 --> 00:01:52,183
I guess you could call it that.
25
00:01:52,985 --> 00:01:54,546
You're so bad..
26
00:01:56,473 --> 00:01:58,546
It's the last time, I swear.
27
00:01:58,681 --> 00:01:59,794
Yeah, right!
28
00:01:59,961 --> 00:02:04,217
Danny is so sweet and considerate.
And he's gonna be a cardiologist.
29
00:02:04,379 --> 00:02:07,957
So, I'm marrying him
and that zucchini in the middle of his face.
30
00:02:08,185 --> 00:02:09,560
His parents are disgusting, too!
31
00:02:09,723 --> 00:02:11,479
Close your eyes when he's on top!
32
00:02:11,642 --> 00:02:13,301
And your thighs!
33
00:02:15,034 --> 00:02:16,944
Cuz, I'm so sorry.
34
00:02:17,114 --> 00:02:18,675
Yikes, that hurt.
35
00:02:18,842 --> 00:02:22,617
That was me, Danny Maccabee, 20 years ago.
Pathetic, huh?
36
00:02:25,083 --> 00:02:27,734
So, I'm halfway done
boozing away my sorrows,
37
00:02:27,835 --> 00:02:30,355
when something
pretty interesting happened.
38
00:02:30,587 --> 00:02:35,476
Oh, baby, you're like a Pop Tart,
hot and sweet!
39
00:02:37,499 --> 00:02:38,546
Hey, mami!
40
00:02:38,747 --> 00:02:40,307
You must play the trumpet or something,
41
00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:43,413
'cause you're making me
feel all horny and stuff!
42
00:02:46,876 --> 00:02:47,858
You dropped your purse.
43
00:02:47,964 --> 00:02:51,576
Can I just sit for 10 seconds
and not get hit on? Thank you.
44
00:02:53,180 --> 00:02:56,148
I was just letting you know
you dropped your purse.
45
00:02:59,228 --> 00:03:01,268
- I'm sorry. I thought...
- That's fine, that's fine.
46
00:03:01,725 --> 00:03:03,732
I'm sure you didn't meet the lady
who gave you that ring
47
00:03:03,837 --> 00:03:05,560
in a meat market like this.
48
00:03:06,108 --> 00:03:07,188
School cafeteria.
49
00:03:07,549 --> 00:03:09,239
How long you been married?
50
00:03:10,109 --> 00:03:12,052
I was gonna tell her, I really was.
51
00:03:12,925 --> 00:03:14,933
But I didn't want her to know
what a loser I was,
52
00:03:15,037 --> 00:03:17,492
so I stretched the truth a little.
53
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:18,612
Six years.
54
00:03:19,037 --> 00:03:20,346
Where's your wife tonight?
55
00:03:20,797 --> 00:03:24,277
I stopped asking that question
a long time ago.
56
00:03:24,925 --> 00:03:27,675
- That's terrible.
- My wife says I work too much.
57
00:03:27,805 --> 00:03:32,028
Trying to provide for her,
her shopping addiction,
58
00:03:32,157 --> 00:03:33,434
and crack.
59
00:03:33,598 --> 00:03:35,191
Why don't you just leave her?
60
00:03:35,742 --> 00:03:37,083
The children.
61
00:03:37,982 --> 00:03:39,805
AII 14 of them.
62
00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:45,562
I just, I like to adopt,
and I don't wanna stop doing that.
63
00:03:46,206 --> 00:03:47,668
You poor guy.
64
00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:49,754
You wanna get outta here?
65
00:03:50,207 --> 00:03:53,469
And so I discovered
the power of the wedding ring.
66
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:57,561
The symbol of my humiliation
had become a tool to get back on the horse.
67
00:03:57,631 --> 00:04:00,282
Are you kidding me? Snuffleupagus!
68
00:04:00,831 --> 00:04:04,694
I switched my specialty from cardiology
to plastic surgery,
69
00:04:04,832 --> 00:04:06,294
got rid of the big honker,
70
00:04:06,623 --> 00:04:09,045
and the ring became my thing.
71
00:04:09,599 --> 00:04:13,244
I just assumed after we got married
she'd stop hooking, but...
72
00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:17,146
You need to put this wedding band
on a true heart.
73
00:04:17,568 --> 00:04:19,390
This is a good moment.
74
00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,258
Yeah. Should we go make it last,
for a while, somewhere?
75
00:04:23,392 --> 00:04:26,206
Okay, let's go. To your dorm.
76
00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:31,387
Sometimes I think about throwing the ring
into the ocean.
77
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:34,107
I know how wrong it is. But I can't.
78
00:04:34,433 --> 00:04:37,018
It's my Precious.
79
00:04:37,761 --> 00:04:41,241
Besides, being fake married
is the perfect way to make sure
80
00:04:41,313 --> 00:04:44,128
I never get my heart broken again.
81
00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:56,475
What are these?
82
00:04:58,690 --> 00:04:59,705
Boobie bags.
83
00:04:59,811 --> 00:05:02,909
The women, they stick them
in their fiat chesties,
84
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:04,919
make them big.
85
00:05:05,570 --> 00:05:08,768
These are not the boobie
bags that I ordered.
86
00:05:09,122 --> 00:05:12,832
What is that? It's like a syrup dispenser
at an IHOP. I don't know what that is.
87
00:05:12,995 --> 00:05:15,515
Come on. These, they don't feel like these.
88
00:05:17,122 --> 00:05:18,202
No... Seriously?
89
00:05:18,307 --> 00:05:20,446
I just trying to learn.
90
00:05:20,867 --> 00:05:24,216
Listen, Dr. Maccabee
would never accept subpar boobs.
91
00:05:24,387 --> 00:05:26,046
Would you please just get me what I ordered
92
00:05:26,115 --> 00:05:28,536
and tell Omar that I would like a discount
for the inconvenience?
93
00:05:28,644 --> 00:05:30,531
- Yes, ma'am.
- Thank you, Simon.
94
00:05:30,883 --> 00:05:32,029
- My 4:00 here?
- Yeah.
95
00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:34,466
Room one, Kirsten Brant. Don't laugh.
96
00:05:36,388 --> 00:05:40,993
Well, I... I had bad plastic surgery.
97
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:44,987
Should’ve known this doctor was a quack.
His office was in, like, a warehouse.
98
00:05:45,508 --> 00:05:47,101
I see, I see.
99
00:05:49,157 --> 00:05:50,139
Questions?
100
00:05:50,693 --> 00:05:53,148
No, no. Just, please help me, Doctor.
101
00:05:53,348 --> 00:05:58,105
Absolutely. It's usually easier
to do these things right the first time, but...
102
00:05:59,812 --> 00:06:01,089
What? You seem dubious.
103
00:06:02,116 --> 00:06:05,280
Oh, no, not at all.
I mean, I hear you're the best, Dr. Maccabee.
104
00:06:05,605 --> 00:06:10,590
I don't know about that,
but I think we can figure something out here.
105
00:06:11,334 --> 00:06:13,122
Relax, relax.
106
00:06:14,917 --> 00:06:16,543
That's relaxed?
107
00:06:17,445 --> 00:06:19,901
Here, let me just pull it down for a sec.
108
00:06:20,069 --> 00:06:22,371
And I let go.
Okay, shoots right back up there.
109
00:06:23,909 --> 00:06:26,910
- I'm sorry.
- Sorry about what?
110
00:06:27,077 --> 00:06:31,682
Oh, my God! It's just...
That just really went right up there.
111
00:06:31,815 --> 00:06:35,524
That was high. You gotta watch that.
It's gonna get caught in your hair.
112
00:06:37,158 --> 00:06:38,948
I don't know,
maybe I should just keep it like this.
113
00:06:39,174 --> 00:06:40,451
It seems to make other people happy.
114
00:06:41,255 --> 00:06:43,840
No. But, seriously,
are you available for my kid's birthday party?
115
00:06:45,159 --> 00:06:46,435
- That's too much.
- I'm sorry!
116
00:06:46,599 --> 00:06:49,566
Let me give you a hug.
That's what you need first. We'll fix this.
117
00:06:51,687 --> 00:06:54,622
Oh, God! Okay, I gotta...
I'm gonna excuse myself. I'm sorry.
118
00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:57,280
Ding-dong!
119
00:06:57,927 --> 00:07:00,032
- Eddie's here.
- Hey. My cousin.
120
00:07:01,447 --> 00:07:02,724
Oh, my gosh.
121
00:07:02,919 --> 00:07:06,051
Brows gone wild over here.
I'm actually digging it.
122
00:07:06,151 --> 00:07:07,166
And what are you doing later?
123
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:11,397
- Oh, sorry, I'm kind of seeing anybody else.
- There you go.
124
00:07:11,656 --> 00:07:12,801
Oh, browch.
125
00:07:13,159 --> 00:07:14,305
My gosh.
126
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:17,121
Look, I don't know who you're seeing,
but whoever they are,
127
00:07:17,289 --> 00:07:19,874
they don't have
what this guy's got down there,
128
00:07:19,944 --> 00:07:21,024
you know what I mean?
129
00:07:21,129 --> 00:07:22,306
All right, Eddie.
130
00:07:22,408 --> 00:07:25,223
Yeah, it's a very good one.
I should know, I installed it.
131
00:07:25,352 --> 00:07:26,782
You had a penile enlargement?
132
00:07:28,041 --> 00:07:29,023
Yes.
133
00:07:29,289 --> 00:07:32,637
People really do that? That is hilarious!
134
00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:35,205
See you on the 28th, Dr. Maccabee!
135
00:07:36,426 --> 00:07:40,680
Dude, why are you telling everybody
about my surgery?
136
00:07:40,842 --> 00:07:43,908
Am I hiding the secrets around here?
You don't think Katherine knows about this?
137
00:07:44,170 --> 00:07:47,366
Katherine was in the room when I did that.
She held the magnifying glass.
138
00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,027
I did. And the tweezer.
139
00:07:49,322 --> 00:07:50,402
Real nice.
140
00:07:50,473 --> 00:07:51,935
Did you get a chance to try it out yet?
141
00:07:53,194 --> 00:07:57,122
Yeah. I've banged it up.
It's got a couple dents. I'm not gonna lie.
142
00:07:58,027 --> 00:07:59,074
- Yeah.
- You did?
143
00:07:59,722 --> 00:08:02,570
Not from a human.
It's got... From this doll I made.
144
00:08:12,427 --> 00:08:14,151
Hey, Adon. Yo, yo.
145
00:08:14,250 --> 00:08:16,487
Danny! I am so happy you could be here!
146
00:08:16,683 --> 00:08:18,275
- How are you, baby?
- Did you bring any Botox?
147
00:08:18,411 --> 00:08:20,582
I didn't bring the Botox.
I brought my cousin, Eddie.
148
00:08:20,716 --> 00:08:22,177
Nice to meet you, Eddie.
149
00:08:22,475 --> 00:08:25,193
- Is this a Halloween party?
- Are you kidding me right now?
150
00:08:25,292 --> 00:08:26,404
You got a little more work done, huh?
151
00:08:26,764 --> 00:08:28,422
Yeah, just a little bit,
just tweaking, tweaking.
152
00:08:28,651 --> 00:08:29,960
Maintenance, maintenance.
153
00:08:30,156 --> 00:08:32,098
I just wanna stay in the game, Danny.
154
00:08:32,268 --> 00:08:34,602
I don't wanna hit home runs,
just some singles. That's all.
155
00:08:34,988 --> 00:08:37,835
You gotta stop, though, I'm telling you.
Do you have any feeling in your face?
156
00:08:38,028 --> 00:08:39,785
Just in this one spot right here.
157
00:08:39,884 --> 00:08:43,561
And then from the eyebrows down,
dead, dead.
158
00:08:47,212 --> 00:08:48,194
Is that a car alarm?
159
00:08:48,364 --> 00:08:50,152
- He's laughing, he's Laughing.
- Oh, okay.
160
00:08:50,284 --> 00:08:53,034
I wanted to go to your cousin Danny here,
but he refused to do any work.
161
00:08:53,132 --> 00:08:55,555
He didn't wanna put his fingers in the pie.
162
00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:58,627
It was getting dangerous. This amount...
You gotta slow it down.
163
00:08:59,629 --> 00:09:01,451
Okay, see?
That shouldn’t be happening right now.
164
00:09:01,518 --> 00:09:03,241
Adon! Adon, Adon, Adon!
165
00:09:03,693 --> 00:09:05,701
Ariel cut open his knee. It looks awful.
166
00:09:05,805 --> 00:09:08,042
What happened? Settle, settle.
What do you expect me to do about it?
167
00:09:08,110 --> 00:09:10,117
- It's bleeding.
- You know what? I could stitch him up.
168
00:09:10,189 --> 00:09:11,782
- Why don't you go get me my bag?
- All right.
169
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:13,924
So, you fell down the stairs, huh?
170
00:09:14,125 --> 00:09:15,205
Yeah.
171
00:09:16,398 --> 00:09:19,246
Did you trip over something?
Was there a skateboard there, or...
172
00:09:19,438 --> 00:09:21,707
No, I was distracted by something.
173
00:09:22,125 --> 00:09:23,271
What distracted you?
174
00:09:23,407 --> 00:09:24,487
A girl.
175
00:09:24,686 --> 00:09:27,239
A girl, okay. Was it your mother?
176
00:09:27,374 --> 00:09:28,421
No!
177
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:32,103
'Cause she just looks good.
That's your stepmom. I can talk like that.
178
00:09:32,207 --> 00:09:34,149
All right. This is lidocaine.
Don't think about it.
179
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:38,985
Don't think about it. Think about your face.
Good, good.
180
00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:40,520
Blonde, brunette, redhead?
181
00:09:40,974 --> 00:09:46,190
Blonde, tan, tall, rocking body.
182
00:09:46,447 --> 00:09:47,560
Nipples.
183
00:09:47,919 --> 00:09:50,887
Want me to numb something else for you?
You're getting a little nutty over there.
184
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:52,520
No! No, I'm good. I'm good.
185
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,728
I'm alive! I'm alive, everybody!
186
00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:08,389
Good job, Doctor. That was really nice.
187
00:10:08,593 --> 00:10:10,348
The distraction, I'm guessing.
188
00:10:10,513 --> 00:10:14,091
- The what?
- The boy was distracted. That's why he fell.
189
00:10:14,641 --> 00:10:16,332
So, I'm taking the rap for this.
190
00:10:16,433 --> 00:10:18,953
Yes. Your hotness
basically pushed him down the stairs.
191
00:10:19,056 --> 00:10:20,681
Good luck proving that in court,
Wisengruber.
192
00:10:20,849 --> 00:10:23,751
Wisengruber? Is that what they're saying
on the Gossip Girl nowadays?
193
00:10:24,562 --> 00:10:26,983
I knew
you two would eventually find each other!
194
00:10:27,088 --> 00:10:29,772
But be careful, Palmer,
these plastic surgeons,
195
00:10:29,873 --> 00:10:32,045
they really know how to operate.
196
00:10:33,809 --> 00:10:36,111
Yeah, all right, Adon. All right.
197
00:10:40,337 --> 00:10:44,266
I just don't know about plastic surgery.
I mean, doesn't it always look so fake?
198
00:10:44,434 --> 00:10:46,473
Depends who's doing it. I'm pretty good at it.
I'm telling you.
199
00:10:46,578 --> 00:10:48,487
- Some of my patients are here tonight.
- Oh, really?
200
00:10:48,563 --> 00:10:52,873
Really, really. Look around, see if you can
find someone decent-looking.
201
00:10:53,555 --> 00:10:54,962
How 'bout her?
202
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,529
The lady from Saw?
203
00:10:57,522 --> 00:10:58,951
Fine. Who did you do?
204
00:10:59,475 --> 00:11:02,824
All right. I hate to rat the guy out,
but see that guy over there?
205
00:11:03,218 --> 00:11:04,745
You mean Sexy Ass?
206
00:11:05,171 --> 00:11:08,433
- Before I met him, he was No Buns Bobby.
- Really?
207
00:11:08,531 --> 00:11:10,505
- His back went straight to his legs.
- No kidding.
208
00:11:10,644 --> 00:11:12,586
He'd go to the bathroom,
he'd slide right in the toilet.
209
00:11:13,683 --> 00:11:16,171
I know, I know, that's really romantic,
isn't it?
210
00:11:17,140 --> 00:11:19,693
So, North Carolina,
how long have you lived here in LA?
211
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,171
I've been here almost two years.
212
00:11:22,004 --> 00:11:23,565
That's a lot of auditioning for you.
213
00:11:24,020 --> 00:11:26,442
- You think I'm an actress?
- I guarantee you're an actress.
214
00:11:26,611 --> 00:11:29,197
Well, guess again, Doc.
I teach sixth grade math.
215
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:32,371
They got no schools in North Carolina
to teach at?
216
00:11:33,139 --> 00:11:35,725
My parents divorced.
217
00:11:35,797 --> 00:11:38,666
Had a pretty nasty one, actually,
when I was in the eighth grade.
218
00:11:38,804 --> 00:11:42,765
And... I don't know.
I got tired of picking sides, so...
219
00:11:43,125 --> 00:11:47,403
I thought I'd make a change
and, yeah, move out to LA.
220
00:11:47,797 --> 00:11:51,058
You came to the right place.
No one gets divorced in LA.
221
00:11:52,532 --> 00:11:55,882
I've never hung out with a girl your age.
This is nice.
222
00:11:56,662 --> 00:11:58,995
Oh, no. Your first lie to me.
223
00:11:59,413 --> 00:12:01,301
You're good. All right.
224
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:04,525
I've never hung out with a girl your age and
225
00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:07,407
connected the way we are right now.
226
00:12:07,541 --> 00:12:11,567
Actually, I've never connected with,
I don't think any girl at any age.
227
00:12:12,886 --> 00:12:16,269
See? I can tell when you're lying
and when you're telling the truth.
228
00:12:17,366 --> 00:12:20,235
Yeah. The second thing I said was the truth.
229
00:12:20,662 --> 00:12:21,775
I know.
230
00:12:33,079 --> 00:12:36,494
Oh, my God.
That was the greatest night of my life.
231
00:12:37,015 --> 00:12:40,560
Yeah. This feels like it could be...
232
00:12:41,175 --> 00:12:42,932
I don't know, a real thing.
233
00:12:44,279 --> 00:12:46,418
It's a thing all right, Palmer.
234
00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:48,273
Well, I have to get to work,
235
00:12:48,439 --> 00:12:49,617
but how 'bout I take your number
236
00:12:49,847 --> 00:12:52,847
and then you can take me out
on a proper date next time?
237
00:12:53,464 --> 00:12:56,880
I got a business card in my pocket
if you wanna get that.
238
00:12:57,368 --> 00:13:01,230
You better call.
You better not just, just leave me hanging.
239
00:13:01,784 --> 00:13:05,232
I'd get it for you myself, but I don't want you
to see me naked in the daylight.
240
00:13:05,336 --> 00:13:07,125
It could be a deal breaker.
241
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:13,202
What's this?
242
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,863
A circle?
243
00:13:16,056 --> 00:13:18,577
A wedding ring? You're married?
244
00:13:18,744 --> 00:13:20,850
No, no, no, I'm not, I'm not married.
245
00:13:21,369 --> 00:13:24,020
That is a... That is... That's not mine.
246
00:13:24,569 --> 00:13:27,253
Whose wedding ring
is in your pants, Danny?
247
00:13:27,737 --> 00:13:31,218
All right, listen,
just give me a minute to explain this.
248
00:13:31,481 --> 00:13:32,562
Please.
249
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:34,774
It's gonna take more than a minute.
250
00:13:34,938 --> 00:13:37,459
- I am such an idiot!
- No, no, no, no, no.
251
00:13:37,562 --> 00:13:39,318
Don't call me!
252
00:13:39,546 --> 00:13:40,975
No, Palmer!
253
00:13:44,378 --> 00:13:48,885
I told you that this whole fake marriage thing
was just gonna come and bite you in the ass.
254
00:13:49,051 --> 00:13:50,677
Why don't you just tell her the truth?
255
00:13:50,906 --> 00:13:52,532
You think I can tell her the truth?
256
00:13:53,306 --> 00:13:55,062
Let me practice. You be her right now.
257
00:13:55,259 --> 00:13:56,852
Oh, good. Okay, hold on.
258
00:13:58,779 --> 00:14:02,041
Okay. She's not like that, but anyways.
259
00:14:02,428 --> 00:14:04,883
I wear this fake wedding ring sometimes...
260
00:14:04,987 --> 00:14:05,969
You're a pig.
261
00:14:07,259 --> 00:14:09,812
Sorry. You're a pig.
262
00:14:09,947 --> 00:14:11,857
What's wrong? You're walking really weird.
263
00:14:12,028 --> 00:14:15,159
My back. I slept on the beach last night.
God Almighty.
264
00:14:15,291 --> 00:14:17,047
When are you gonna strengthen your spine?
265
00:14:17,499 --> 00:14:20,696
Seriously, Flomax.
You gotta work out more than once a month.
266
00:14:20,764 --> 00:14:23,798
- I can't, I don't have time to work out.
- You do. You can't say that, Danny.
267
00:14:23,932 --> 00:14:26,899
My mother always said
Cary Grant never went to the gym.
268
00:14:27,004 --> 00:14:29,852
Only took the stairs, every day,
never an elevator.
269
00:14:29,949 --> 00:14:32,337
You wanna hear my impression
of Cary Grant's butler?
270
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:33,394
- Watch.
- What?
271
00:14:33,500 --> 00:14:35,704
Hello? No, he's dead.
272
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:37,396
Okay, bye-bye.
273
00:14:37,949 --> 00:14:39,094
That's good. That's funny.
274
00:14:39,165 --> 00:14:40,376
Mom, give me some money.
275
00:14:41,021 --> 00:14:42,777
Hi. How are you?
276
00:14:42,845 --> 00:14:46,009
Nice to see you, kids. Please be polite
and say hello to Dr. Maccabee.
277
00:14:46,269 --> 00:14:48,887
'Ello, Dr. Danny. 'Ow is you today?
278
00:14:49,213 --> 00:14:51,897
Is that my associate, Dr. Doolittle?
Why is she talking like that?
279
00:14:52,030 --> 00:14:53,971
She's been working on some accents.
280
00:14:54,045 --> 00:14:57,079
I am takin' an acting class
this summer, I is.
281
00:14:57,245 --> 00:14:59,701
Gonna be the next Miley Cyrus, I am.
282
00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:02,172
How 'bout you, young man?
Do you like Hannah Montana?
283
00:15:02,302 --> 00:15:04,091
No. I like Californication.
284
00:15:04,222 --> 00:15:06,840
When do you ever watch Californication?
285
00:15:07,134 --> 00:15:09,851
Rosa lets us watch Showtime
when she calls her boyfriend.
286
00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:12,921
Eat the mushroom! Eat the mushroom! Yes!
287
00:15:13,567 --> 00:15:15,541
You run a tight ship at home, huh?
288
00:15:15,710 --> 00:15:16,822
Dr. Danny?
289
00:15:17,086 --> 00:15:18,101
Yeah?
290
00:15:18,175 --> 00:15:20,826
Will you take me to Hawaii
so I can swim with the dolphins?
291
00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:23,324
Take you to Hawaii? No.
292
00:15:23,711 --> 00:15:25,882
I saw a show on the Discovery Channel.
293
00:15:26,047 --> 00:15:29,495
They say in Hawaii they have dolphins
that you can swim with if you pay money.
294
00:15:29,791 --> 00:15:30,773
Okay.
295
00:15:30,943 --> 00:15:33,529
But I don't have any money.
And my mom says you're rich.
296
00:15:33,792 --> 00:15:35,450
- Michael!
- No, it's fine.
297
00:15:35,648 --> 00:15:39,641
Maybe you should make your own money.
Maybe a paper route or something like that?
298
00:15:39,775 --> 00:15:43,256
'Cause rich people
don't give other people trips.
299
00:15:43,392 --> 00:15:45,302
That's why they remain rich.
You understand?
300
00:15:45,504 --> 00:15:48,733
But my mom says you do charity
for kids all the time.
301
00:15:49,056 --> 00:15:53,978
I do charity work like I fix a cleft lip
or a child’s deformity.
302
00:15:54,112 --> 00:15:56,981
I don't take them to Hawaii.
I could get arrested for that.
303
00:15:57,184 --> 00:16:00,251
What if I was deformed?
Then would you take me to Hawaii?
304
00:16:00,832 --> 00:16:03,931
If you were deformed, I'd bring you to Hawaii,
but I'd leave you there,
305
00:16:04,032 --> 00:16:05,243
'cause I wouldn’t want to look at you.
306
00:16:05,377 --> 00:16:07,101
Okay. Here's the money, and I want change.
307
00:16:07,329 --> 00:16:10,363
And I wanna hear back that you actually ate
the food that I am paying for.
308
00:16:11,009 --> 00:16:13,660
Mom, before we go, can I make a Devlin?
309
00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:16,249
Sure. Down the hall.
Will you please go with him?
310
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:18,970
We open in five minutes
and I am not having him sit there forever.
311
00:16:19,073 --> 00:16:20,983
Bloody hell right, I will, Mumsy!
312
00:16:21,153 --> 00:16:23,128
All right, Winston Churchill.
313
00:16:23,265 --> 00:16:25,720
He said, "I gotta make a Devlin. "
What does that mean?
314
00:16:26,434 --> 00:16:29,882
It's just a friend of mine who
was in my sorority in college
315
00:16:30,050 --> 00:16:32,286
named Devlin Adams, and...
316
00:16:32,706 --> 00:16:34,594
Well, I wouldn’t say friend.
I'd say more my nemesis.
317
00:16:34,754 --> 00:16:36,729
- Oh, so she was a frenemy?
- Yes.
318
00:16:37,347 --> 00:16:39,736
You'd probably like her.
She's really, really fake.
319
00:16:40,610 --> 00:16:44,920
Always had to have the coolest clothes
and the hottest boys and, you know...
320
00:16:45,058 --> 00:16:47,066
- She bothers you.
- A lot.
321
00:16:47,139 --> 00:16:49,692
So, one night,
I was just having a glass of wine.
322
00:16:49,794 --> 00:16:51,649
- A bottle.
- A bottle.
323
00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:57,244
And I just got so tired of the kids
saying things like, "I gotta take a crap.
324
00:16:57,379 --> 00:16:58,753
"I gotta take a dump. "
325
00:16:58,947 --> 00:17:03,290
So, I told them that it was called
"making a Devlin," and they liked it.
326
00:17:03,395 --> 00:17:04,377
And it stuck.
327
00:17:05,155 --> 00:17:06,748
I always call it making a black pickle.
328
00:17:06,820 --> 00:17:08,511
- Making a what?
- I don't say that.
329
00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:10,368
- Out loud? Good.
- To others. No.
330
00:17:10,756 --> 00:17:12,283
What are we gonna do
about my love life, though?
331
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:15,420
Oh, Danny,
I would feel terrible for you if I had any,
332
00:17:15,715 --> 00:17:19,131
even the slightest, investment in you
successfully banging 23-year-olds.
333
00:17:19,620 --> 00:17:21,725
Holy Devlin, you're not listening to me.
334
00:17:21,892 --> 00:17:26,748
This is like not some bull-Devlin fling.
I mean, I'm serious.
335
00:17:26,821 --> 00:17:28,282
This is the real Devlin. I could...
336
00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,488
I swear to God,
I could see myself ending up with this girl.
337
00:17:34,308 --> 00:17:35,869
You're right. You can't tell her the truth.
338
00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:37,086
High score!
339
00:17:37,252 --> 00:17:38,977
Oh, God. Sorry.
340
00:17:39,877 --> 00:17:41,022
I'm glad someone's doing good.
341
00:17:42,309 --> 00:17:44,196
You know what?
You don't wanna get serious,
342
00:17:44,261 --> 00:17:46,367
'cause when you get serious,
that leads to marriage,
343
00:17:46,534 --> 00:17:48,901
and then marriage leads to divorce,
and divorce is just...
344
00:17:48,998 --> 00:17:50,013
I mean, look at these poor kids.
345
00:17:50,534 --> 00:17:52,541
You know, their dad was supposed to
pick them up today.
346
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,955
- He was a no-show?
- Again.
347
00:17:54,182 --> 00:17:55,261
But you know what?
348
00:17:55,334 --> 00:17:57,722
At least I got my head together
and I divorced him.
349
00:17:57,894 --> 00:17:59,105
Yeah, yeah.
350
00:18:01,510 --> 00:18:02,622
Wait a minute.
351
00:18:09,415 --> 00:18:10,659
You go ahead without me.
352
00:18:11,079 --> 00:18:13,413
Oh, no, no, no.
Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer, Palmer.
353
00:18:13,574 --> 00:18:14,948
I told you I didn't want to see you.
354
00:18:15,111 --> 00:18:16,671
I just want to explain something to you.
355
00:18:16,839 --> 00:18:18,911
Let me explain something to you.
356
00:18:21,415 --> 00:18:23,106
I do not date married men.
357
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,864
My father cheated on my mom
when I was young.
358
00:18:24,935 --> 00:18:26,659
I am not going to be the other woman!
359
00:18:26,791 --> 00:18:28,613
Adulterer! Fornicator!
360
00:18:28,903 --> 00:18:30,813
All right, take it easy, Damien, all right?
361
00:18:30,919 --> 00:18:32,675
Okay, his name is Silas,
leave him out of this.
362
00:18:33,192 --> 00:18:35,079
I'll kill you.
363
00:18:35,336 --> 00:18:37,092
What? Anytime!
364
00:18:38,056 --> 00:18:39,911
Listen! I am married.
365
00:18:40,199 --> 00:18:43,974
But it is a horrible marriage.
She doesn't even talk to me anymore.
366
00:18:44,232 --> 00:18:45,662
Danny, that's what all married men say.
367
00:18:46,024 --> 00:18:47,747
If it's so bad, why don't you get divorced?
368
00:18:47,977 --> 00:18:49,090
I am.
369
00:18:50,792 --> 00:18:53,094
- You are?
- Yes! It's over.
370
00:18:53,385 --> 00:18:56,288
Oh, my God, I can't believe this.
I destroyed a marriage!
371
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:58,495
I really feel like I'm gonna
be sick. I can't...
372
00:18:58,601 --> 00:19:02,495
No, no, it wasn't 'cause of you!
I filed a long, long time ago.
373
00:19:02,857 --> 00:19:05,792
We're gonna sign the papers
in a couple of days
374
00:19:05,865 --> 00:19:07,873
and it's like, she's dead to me.
375
00:19:08,138 --> 00:19:09,185
What's her name?
376
00:19:09,417 --> 00:19:10,661
Mrs. Maccabee.
377
00:19:11,818 --> 00:19:15,746
You mean her first name?
Her first name is Devlin.
378
00:19:16,618 --> 00:19:17,894
Her name's Devlin?
379
00:19:18,153 --> 00:19:20,706
Isn't that a shitty name? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
380
00:19:20,938 --> 00:19:24,516
But Devlin and I are
splitting up, fortunately,
381
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:28,739
'cause I caught her cheating on me
with another guy.
382
00:19:28,843 --> 00:19:29,890
I didn't catch her.
383
00:19:29,994 --> 00:19:33,889
The television show Cheaters
caught her and the guy.
384
00:19:34,826 --> 00:19:38,307
And I told them not to air it, though,
because it's too painful.
385
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:42,176
They actually burned the tape
so you can't see it. But I would love you to.
386
00:19:42,635 --> 00:19:44,129
There's another man?
387
00:19:44,427 --> 00:19:46,980
There's another guy, yes. Dolph.
388
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:48,547
Dolph?
389
00:19:48,618 --> 00:19:51,336
Dolph Lundgren. Yeah.
390
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:52,938
Like the guy from Rocky IV?
391
00:19:53,100 --> 00:19:55,555
No, no, a different Dolph Lundgren.
392
00:19:55,820 --> 00:20:00,293
Apparently, if you bring that one up,
this one gets really angry, so don't.
393
00:20:00,459 --> 00:20:02,314
Danny, guys always say
they're gonna leave their wives.
394
00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,427
They never do.
395
00:20:03,500 --> 00:20:05,540
I'm telling you,
she's happy with this Dolph guy,
396
00:20:05,643 --> 00:20:07,716
good for her.
Now I wanna be happy.
397
00:20:07,788 --> 00:20:09,959
And the only way I can be happy
is if I'm with you!
398
00:20:10,029 --> 00:20:11,076
All right?
399
00:20:11,564 --> 00:20:16,135
Just wanna be able to be with you
and not be called a "fornicator"
400
00:20:16,237 --> 00:20:19,586
or an "adulterer" or whatever that
Children of the Corn kid was calling me.
401
00:20:20,269 --> 00:20:21,251
Okay.
402
00:20:21,356 --> 00:20:22,371
Okay?
403
00:20:22,701 --> 00:20:24,294
I just need to hear it from her.
404
00:20:25,421 --> 00:20:27,592
How about if she texts you,
would that be good?
405
00:20:27,949 --> 00:20:28,996
I need to meet her.
406
00:20:34,541 --> 00:20:35,917
Let's do it.
407
00:20:36,237 --> 00:20:38,059
You want me to be your wife?
408
00:20:38,445 --> 00:20:40,387
And you couldn’t think of another name,
other than Devlin?
409
00:20:40,461 --> 00:20:42,949
I practically took a Devlin in my pants
when she asked me.
410
00:20:43,022 --> 00:20:45,193
"What's her name?" I got panicked.
I get nervous around this girl.
411
00:20:45,261 --> 00:20:48,523
You got panicked? You who invents
a fake wife every Friday night?
412
00:20:48,590 --> 00:20:50,979
Yeah. Doesn't that say something
about what I feel about this girl?
413
00:20:51,086 --> 00:20:52,198
Have you ever thought about the time
414
00:20:52,271 --> 00:20:54,059
that she's actually gonna
walk into your office
415
00:20:54,158 --> 00:20:58,020
and sees that
I'm your assistant receptionist?
416
00:20:58,190 --> 00:21:01,191
So easy. I'm a plastic surgeon,
you will never look like you again.
417
00:21:01,390 --> 00:21:03,147
- Snip, snap. Chip, chap.
- What are you talking about?
418
00:21:03,246 --> 00:21:04,740
I'm kidding. I'll get you a fake mustache.
419
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,662
Oh, my God, you've really, really
not thought this through.
420
00:21:07,759 --> 00:21:10,508
Will you please just look at some clothes?
421
00:21:10,607 --> 00:21:12,265
Look at that. I don't wear...
422
00:21:12,367 --> 00:21:15,018
I have clothes, by the way.
I do not need to do any of this. I'm fine.
423
00:21:15,151 --> 00:21:16,842
Yes. You have the best clothes
that Old Navy sells.
424
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,830
I'm just saying you gotta look
like a plastic surgeon's wife.
425
00:21:18,959 --> 00:21:21,228
I want to create the illusion
I had a hot first wife.
426
00:21:21,328 --> 00:21:22,637
- You're so...
- Not this!
427
00:21:22,703 --> 00:21:25,354
Okay, come on, let's go, you asked for it.
I'm ready.
428
00:21:29,488 --> 00:21:32,651
- Wow! These are... Oh, geez.
- Nice, nice.
429
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,622
It's just been a while
since I've been in heels, sorry.
430
00:21:35,791 --> 00:21:37,679
- Okay, okay.
- Oh, gosh. Okay.
431
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:39,466
Get there. Yeah, great.
432
00:21:39,569 --> 00:21:42,830
Oh, my God! These are gorgeous!
433
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,062
- How much are these?
- $1,700.
434
00:21:45,361 --> 00:21:47,727
$1,700? What, do you come with them?
435
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:51,753
My parents' house costs $1,700. No, no.
436
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:56,590
No. What, did Mickey Mantle sign those?
Why are they $1,700, they made outta panda?
437
00:21:56,754 --> 00:21:57,997
- Walk away.
- Yeah. You know what?
438
00:21:58,161 --> 00:21:59,788
We won't really be needing them anyway.
439
00:21:59,953 --> 00:22:01,676
'Cause I'm actually starting to...
440
00:22:01,841 --> 00:22:05,191
I'm actually starting to feel not so hot.
Is it warm in here?
441
00:22:05,361 --> 00:22:07,500
I'm not sure I'll be able to make it
this evening.
442
00:22:08,114 --> 00:22:11,081
Very good. Okay, you know what?
We'll take them.
443
00:22:12,146 --> 00:22:14,218
- It's your Christmas bonus.
- Oh, really?
444
00:22:14,322 --> 00:22:15,980
Okay, then I would like them in blue, too.
445
00:22:16,082 --> 00:22:18,635
In case a heel breaks or
I just want to cuddle.
446
00:22:18,802 --> 00:22:20,590
- It's beautiful.
- You sicken me.
447
00:22:20,851 --> 00:22:22,541
Yes, well, that's why
we're getting a divorce.
448
00:22:22,642 --> 00:22:25,675
We're getting a divorce
because you're greedy, schemy and selfish.
449
00:22:27,315 --> 00:22:29,868
Actually, I think you need to get
the matching bag, too.
450
00:22:30,034 --> 00:22:31,759
Yeah, I think I should.
451
00:22:31,922 --> 00:22:33,581
Thank you, Laurie. I agree.
452
00:22:33,746 --> 00:22:35,470
All the girls are sticking together.
Isn't that sweet?
453
00:22:35,570 --> 00:22:37,065
She's on your side, what a shock.
454
00:22:37,267 --> 00:22:40,050
- You asked for this. Trust me.
- You asked for this.
455
00:23:07,508 --> 00:23:08,522
No.
456
00:23:10,228 --> 00:23:11,243
No.
457
00:23:17,237 --> 00:23:20,685
Hell, no! No, no, no!
458
00:23:20,757 --> 00:23:21,836
What do you mean, no?
459
00:23:22,005 --> 00:23:23,314
No? No what?
460
00:23:23,477 --> 00:23:26,477
No hope. Okay? There's only one word for it.
461
00:23:26,645 --> 00:23:28,750
- What is it?
- Neglect.
462
00:23:29,429 --> 00:23:32,146
Okay? This is the one word
for the whole thing. Are you the husband?
463
00:23:32,309 --> 00:23:34,481
I'm the soon to be ex-husband.
464
00:23:34,645 --> 00:23:35,758
We're getting a divorce.
465
00:23:35,926 --> 00:23:38,315
Well, you know he's not divorcing you.
He's divorcing your head.
466
00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:40,241
True 'dat, Ernesto. Right on the money.
467
00:23:40,406 --> 00:23:42,794
Your hair is so messed up, I don't even...
Let me count the ways.
468
00:23:42,966 --> 00:23:45,813
It's dull, it's dead, it's fiat.
469
00:23:45,910 --> 00:23:48,431
- Don't forget smelly.
- It don't smell, particularly...
470
00:23:48,534 --> 00:23:49,909
- Okay, I think we got it.
- You bad.
471
00:23:50,006 --> 00:23:52,112
You is bad. Give me a Little bit.
That's bad, though.
472
00:23:52,278 --> 00:23:55,758
You guys, come on, seriously.
Ernesto, can you just, please,
473
00:23:56,247 --> 00:23:58,800
do something, so we can be home
and I can get out of here?
474
00:23:58,967 --> 00:24:02,228
Hurricane Katrina could do something, baby.
I'm gonna do something transcendent.
475
00:24:02,326 --> 00:24:04,399
Katya! Yuri, Mrs. Hwiggins!
476
00:24:04,471 --> 00:24:05,649
We going in deep, y'all.
477
00:24:07,511 --> 00:24:08,918
You seem nervous, Danny.
478
00:24:09,079 --> 00:24:11,982
No, no, I just...
It's weird, she gets me very tense.
479
00:24:12,151 --> 00:24:13,526
I'm sorry to put you through this.
480
00:24:13,687 --> 00:24:15,029
No, I understand why we're doing this.
481
00:24:15,159 --> 00:24:17,068
I'm just looking forward to getting past
this part of my life
482
00:24:17,175 --> 00:24:18,866
and moving on to the good part.
483
00:24:18,967 --> 00:24:22,317
We will. Soon. Tonight.
484
00:24:22,391 --> 00:24:23,766
Good God, yes.
485
00:24:42,169 --> 00:24:43,925
Is that her?
486
00:24:44,568 --> 00:24:45,845
I think so.
487
00:24:48,921 --> 00:24:50,197
She's stunning.
488
00:24:51,001 --> 00:24:52,790
I love her shoes.
489
00:24:52,952 --> 00:24:56,269
Yeah, well, she got about five pairs of them.
Maybe she'll give you one.
490
00:24:57,722 --> 00:25:01,235
Henderson!
Do you see Dr. Maccabee anywhere in this...
491
00:25:02,234 --> 00:25:05,048
There he is.
Keep the car running, shan't be long.
492
00:25:06,010 --> 00:25:07,154
Hello, boring!
493
00:25:07,322 --> 00:25:08,882
Hey. You went with a limo driver?
494
00:25:09,050 --> 00:25:10,512
I'm just playing the part.
495
00:25:10,683 --> 00:25:11,926
Okay.
496
00:25:12,378 --> 00:25:14,550
Palmer! Hi.
497
00:25:14,842 --> 00:25:17,264
Devlin Maccabee. Soon to be, single-abee.
498
00:25:18,874 --> 00:25:21,908
Waiter! Excuse me. Anybody?
499
00:25:22,010 --> 00:25:24,247
Yes, yes. Something to drink, madam?
500
00:25:24,603 --> 00:25:29,589
Well, hello. I would like a tall glass of you.
Is that possible? Meow!
501
00:25:30,650 --> 00:25:33,106
I'm just kidding.
Unless you're really into it.
502
00:25:34,363 --> 00:25:36,370
Kidding again. No, I'm not.
503
00:25:37,051 --> 00:25:40,914
We don't know. Grey Goose martinis,
just keep 'em coming. Okay.
504
00:25:41,371 --> 00:25:43,760
Make that a dirty martini. Okay?
505
00:25:43,835 --> 00:25:44,947
Okay, that was a good one.
506
00:25:45,116 --> 00:25:47,537
Well, so, Palmer.
507
00:25:47,643 --> 00:25:48,986
I heard you and Danny had sex.
508
00:25:52,731 --> 00:25:56,310
Yes. I am so sorry, I had...
509
00:25:56,476 --> 00:25:58,843
Please, honey, it is fine.
510
00:25:59,132 --> 00:26:02,395
I'm just happy to hear that his thing-a-ding
can still ring-a-ding.
511
00:26:02,493 --> 00:26:05,754
'Cause he's got a serious small issue
512
00:26:06,813 --> 00:26:08,504
with ED. Over here.
513
00:26:08,605 --> 00:26:09,685
Okay.
514
00:26:09,756 --> 00:26:11,163
What's ED? I don't...
515
00:26:11,324 --> 00:26:13,267
Oh, gosh. I forgot. You're fifteen.
516
00:26:15,037 --> 00:26:18,202
Erectile dysfunction, my darling.
517
00:26:18,557 --> 00:26:22,267
Think about it as if
you're trying to throw darts and you just...
518
00:26:22,366 --> 00:26:25,682
All you really got, you're shooting with,
like, overcooked spaghetti.
519
00:26:25,790 --> 00:26:26,870
Okay. Yeah.
520
00:26:27,197 --> 00:26:31,027
I just think that my spaghetti wasn't loving
the meatballs that was being served.
521
00:26:31,134 --> 00:26:33,435
They were a Little too lumpy.
522
00:26:34,174 --> 00:26:39,225
I've heard from a lot of men that I serve
the finest meatballs in Southern California.
523
00:26:39,455 --> 00:26:43,197
Of course.
A lot of homeless men have said this.
524
00:26:43,358 --> 00:26:45,213
They'll eat anything, you know.
525
00:26:45,886 --> 00:26:49,596
I'm just very shocked that you remember
anybody you've ever been with.
526
00:26:49,695 --> 00:26:51,834
With all the pills that are in your system.
527
00:26:52,447 --> 00:26:53,757
She likes the pills, this one.
528
00:26:53,918 --> 00:26:55,445
At night I come home, "What's for dinner?"
529
00:26:55,679 --> 00:26:58,876
"Well, we have purple pills,
and the green ones
530
00:26:58,974 --> 00:27:03,165
"and some lovely yellow bombers
I just took out of the oven. "
531
00:27:03,296 --> 00:27:04,343
Remember that?
532
00:27:05,759 --> 00:27:07,865
I had to do something to amuse myself
533
00:27:07,967 --> 00:27:13,270
while this one sat on the throne for hours
dealing with his irritable bowel syndrome.
534
00:27:13,536 --> 00:27:15,226
I got another disease. Okay.
535
00:27:15,328 --> 00:27:20,446
Can I tell you, I spent the eve of our wedding
sitting on the bed,
536
00:27:20,512 --> 00:27:24,953
listening to what sounded like
an underwater symphony,
537
00:27:25,056 --> 00:27:29,758
of French horns and bassoons
coming out of our hotel bathroom.
538
00:27:30,112 --> 00:27:33,625
Mix that with the smell of like a dead cat
and some fajitas
539
00:27:33,888 --> 00:27:38,646
and you've got what you call yourself
a severely diminished libido.
540
00:27:40,929 --> 00:27:42,390
Did you just kick me?
541
00:27:42,722 --> 00:27:45,689
No. Did you? You kicked her?
Why'd you kick her?
542
00:27:46,082 --> 00:27:49,114
Yeah, I don't... I... Yes.
I... I have leg spasms.
543
00:27:52,418 --> 00:27:55,232
It's a side effect.
Terrible side effect from all the pill popping.
544
00:27:55,329 --> 00:27:59,290
But, you know, it's all better now.
I'm clean and sober and I apologize.
545
00:27:59,362 --> 00:28:00,409
It's okay.
546
00:28:00,482 --> 00:28:03,522
Thirteenth step, right there.
Back to drinking.
547
00:28:04,002 --> 00:28:07,231
Henderson, you thoughtless oaf,
stop texting, open that door.
548
00:28:07,714 --> 00:28:09,602
- Why do you keep calling me Henderson?
- Just go with it.
549
00:28:09,922 --> 00:28:12,094
Palmer, so lovely to meet you.
550
00:28:12,483 --> 00:28:14,010
Likewise, really.
551
00:28:14,339 --> 00:28:15,801
I mean, look at you two.
552
00:28:16,130 --> 00:28:18,716
- I mean, it's like, Barbie and...
- Yes.
553
00:28:19,939 --> 00:28:21,532
...Grandpa Ken.
554
00:28:23,075 --> 00:28:28,771
I mean... And even though it did not work out
between us at all...
555
00:28:29,379 --> 00:28:31,135
It's like it never happened. You know?
556
00:28:31,203 --> 00:28:32,349
It really isn't.
557
00:28:32,451 --> 00:28:34,720
- I still want my Danny to be happy.
- Oh, look at that.
558
00:28:34,819 --> 00:28:35,932
Happy, happy, happy.
559
00:28:36,003 --> 00:28:37,116
- Good night, kiddo.
- Okay.
560
00:28:37,379 --> 00:28:38,557
Hello.
561
00:28:39,204 --> 00:28:40,895
It's her drug dealer I'm thinking.
562
00:28:41,251 --> 00:28:42,713
Okay, please put her on the phone right now.
563
00:28:43,459 --> 00:28:44,638
Are you kidding me, honey?
564
00:28:44,740 --> 00:28:49,148
You know how I feel about
you selling your brother's stuff on eBay.
565
00:28:49,604 --> 00:28:51,165
Hey, hey, hey. Take that in the car.
566
00:28:51,236 --> 00:28:52,316
No. It's okay.
567
00:28:52,420 --> 00:28:56,959
I will deal with you
when I get home, young lady. Okay.
568
00:28:57,285 --> 00:28:59,292
I mean, you would think...
569
00:29:02,181 --> 00:29:03,610
You have kids?
570
00:29:06,245 --> 00:29:07,806
You have... You have children?
571
00:29:08,581 --> 00:29:13,088
We have sort of a Little bit...
A Little bit of children, right?
572
00:29:13,157 --> 00:29:15,776
When were you planning on telling me
about these children, Danny?
573
00:29:15,846 --> 00:29:20,254
I don't know, but listen,
I have to go get to those Little munchkins.
574
00:29:20,357 --> 00:29:22,245
Palmer, so nice, seriously.
575
00:29:22,342 --> 00:29:23,324
Danny.
576
00:29:25,094 --> 00:29:26,818
No, no, no, hey, hey.
577
00:29:27,077 --> 00:29:28,322
Okay.
578
00:29:31,142 --> 00:29:33,117
Are you freaked out right now
about all this or...
579
00:29:33,862 --> 00:29:36,415
Actually, just the opposite.
580
00:29:36,807 --> 00:29:39,295
The opposite of freaked out?
What do you mean? Good?
581
00:29:39,366 --> 00:29:41,734
- You know that I love kids.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
582
00:29:41,799 --> 00:29:43,708
I just never pegged you as a kids guy.
583
00:29:44,039 --> 00:29:48,098
I'm a huge kids guy. I love kids.
Kids, kids, kids. Is...
584
00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:50,239
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my thing.
That's my bumper sticker.
585
00:29:50,344 --> 00:29:51,488
What are their names?
586
00:29:52,167 --> 00:29:55,463
What are their names again? There is
587
00:29:55,975 --> 00:30:00,099
the girl who, of course, is Kiki Dee.
588
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,622
And then the boy's name's Bart.
589
00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,978
Which of course is short for Barto.
590
00:30:07,144 --> 00:30:08,420
Well, I wanna meet them!
591
00:30:09,128 --> 00:30:10,175
Of course you do.
592
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,481
So our mom doesn't know
that you took us today?
593
00:30:12,584 --> 00:30:13,729
Not yet.
594
00:30:13,801 --> 00:30:15,361
You know this is kidnapping.
595
00:30:15,465 --> 00:30:16,577
Stranger danger.
596
00:30:16,648 --> 00:30:17,892
What? No.
597
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:20,480
Is the guy from Dateline NBC gonna walk in?
598
00:30:20,584 --> 00:30:24,774
No!
I know you two a long time and Rosa's here.
599
00:30:27,048 --> 00:30:28,837
Doing whatever that Rosa does.
600
00:30:29,545 --> 00:30:31,071
- God, she's freaky.
- Yeah.
601
00:30:31,178 --> 00:30:32,160
So here's the deal.
602
00:30:32,585 --> 00:30:37,320
How would you like to be
my pretend children for one afternoon?
603
00:30:38,249 --> 00:30:40,290
Why don't you just tell that poor girl
the truth?
604
00:30:40,361 --> 00:30:41,409
You know?
605
00:30:41,482 --> 00:30:44,416
Our mother tells us everything.
Wedding ring boy.
606
00:30:44,489 --> 00:30:45,602
- What?
- Oh, my goodness!
607
00:30:45,705 --> 00:30:48,488
Did you see Gossip Girl last night?
It was so good!
608
00:30:48,585 --> 00:30:50,375
No, she's not like that.
609
00:30:50,441 --> 00:30:52,580
Your mother's presenting her
in a weird, weird way.
610
00:30:52,650 --> 00:30:55,203
I'm just saying, telling the truth
is not in the cards right now.
611
00:30:55,305 --> 00:30:57,640
I thought you'd be excited
to have an acting job.
612
00:30:57,738 --> 00:30:59,843
If it's an acting job, we should get paid.
613
00:30:59,946 --> 00:31:02,280
Yeah, you're gonna get paid in experience.
614
00:31:02,378 --> 00:31:04,200
I wanna actually get paid.
615
00:31:05,259 --> 00:31:06,502
All right, what do you want?
616
00:31:06,666 --> 00:31:10,823
$600 for the day, plus overtime
if we go over eight hours.
617
00:31:10,891 --> 00:31:12,353
I'll do my own hair and makeup.
618
00:31:12,459 --> 00:31:15,328
And I want you to pay
for the six-week intensive acting camp
619
00:31:15,403 --> 00:31:16,679
that my mom can't afford.
620
00:31:17,419 --> 00:31:21,478
$50 for the day and a two-week acting class
at the YMCA nearest you.
621
00:31:21,900 --> 00:31:23,972
$500 and a four-week acting class.
622
00:31:24,171 --> 00:31:26,375
$300 and a three-week class.
623
00:31:26,700 --> 00:31:27,682
Done.
624
00:31:29,068 --> 00:31:30,977
I would have done it for $500.
625
00:31:31,564 --> 00:31:33,125
I would have done it for the experience.
626
00:31:35,628 --> 00:31:36,610
Michael, you're up.
627
00:31:36,780 --> 00:31:37,860
Opener?
628
00:31:38,028 --> 00:31:41,607
I want you to take me to Hawaii
so I can swim with the dolphins.
629
00:31:41,772 --> 00:31:43,399
You're not gonna let that one go, are you?
630
00:31:43,628 --> 00:31:45,538
We're not going to Hawaii, pal.
Anything else?
631
00:31:45,613 --> 00:31:47,555
Find someone else then.
632
00:31:53,452 --> 00:31:57,162
Ooh, the Mafia stare down.
Very good, Michael.
633
00:31:57,292 --> 00:32:00,359
We're here to negotiate.
Do you have anything else you might like?
634
00:32:00,974 --> 00:32:02,250
I want a flying pony.
635
00:32:02,349 --> 00:32:04,738
I want a flying pony too, Michael,
but they don't exist.
636
00:32:05,422 --> 00:32:08,324
Then I want a regular pony.
And I want to name him Nelson.
637
00:32:08,654 --> 00:32:11,305
How about a Playstation 3
and we name him Nelson?
638
00:32:12,109 --> 00:32:13,124
Keep talking.
639
00:32:13,390 --> 00:32:15,146
We’ll include four video games.
640
00:32:15,214 --> 00:32:16,261
Five games.
641
00:32:16,334 --> 00:32:19,847
And I want the meeting with blondie
to be at J.D. McFunnigan's.
642
00:32:19,982 --> 00:32:22,251
How 'bout Charlie Choo-Choo's
'cause it's right down the street from me.
643
00:32:22,670 --> 00:32:25,059
Mention that slop-hole again and I walk.
644
00:32:25,134 --> 00:32:27,468
All right, take it easy, son. Take it easy.
645
00:32:27,726 --> 00:32:32,101
And I want unlimited tokens.
If I can spend 'em, I wanna have 'em.
646
00:32:32,174 --> 00:32:35,523
I don't wanna be like playing Skee-Ball
and all of a sudden run out of tokens.
647
00:32:36,175 --> 00:32:39,688
All right, I can make that happen.
So do we have a deal?
648
00:32:42,703 --> 00:32:43,718
Deal.
649
00:32:43,983 --> 00:32:46,284
Deal’s off unless you eat that pizza, though.
Seriously.
650
00:32:49,487 --> 00:32:50,894
Can I do an accent?
651
00:32:50,991 --> 00:32:52,486
- Let me hear some.
- 'Ello!
652
00:32:52,591 --> 00:32:54,020
- No.
- Okay.
653
00:32:54,384 --> 00:32:56,937
My kids?
Have you completely lost your mind?
654
00:32:57,008 --> 00:32:58,666
Are you kidding me right now?
655
00:32:58,735 --> 00:33:00,361
You're the one
who picked up your cell phone.
656
00:33:00,784 --> 00:33:01,766
That is not...
657
00:33:01,872 --> 00:33:03,050
Mrs. Harrington...
658
00:33:04,432 --> 00:33:06,025
The doctor will see you now.
659
00:33:07,376 --> 00:33:09,765
I can't believe you're doing all of this
just so you can get some.
660
00:33:09,872 --> 00:33:11,531
It's just gross. You're just pathetic.
661
00:33:11,632 --> 00:33:13,901
I'm not trying to get some.
I already got some.
662
00:33:13,969 --> 00:33:17,264
And yes, I'd like to continue getting some.
I'm pro me getting some.
663
00:33:17,328 --> 00:33:20,198
Have a seat right there, Mrs. Harrington.
Remove your shirt, if you could.
664
00:33:20,977 --> 00:33:26,028
I smell something. You smell something?
I smell perfume.
665
00:33:28,689 --> 00:33:29,867
Is that coming from you?
666
00:33:31,793 --> 00:33:32,905
Maybe.
667
00:33:33,425 --> 00:33:34,669
What, you got a date or something?
668
00:33:34,898 --> 00:33:37,419
I don't have a date. I have a lunch.
669
00:33:37,714 --> 00:33:39,623
You got a lunch? Who you got a lunch with?
670
00:33:40,273 --> 00:33:42,891
Dr. Gervitz's office manager,
if you must know everything.
671
00:33:42,993 --> 00:33:43,975
His name is Brian.
672
00:33:44,113 --> 00:33:45,772
The guy with the gray soul patch?
673
00:33:45,938 --> 00:33:48,589
- You know what?
- Hey, man, I'm Brian.
674
00:33:48,658 --> 00:33:50,894
- You're mean!
- Wow, you wanna go to lunch sometime?
675
00:33:50,994 --> 00:33:52,969
Is he gonna take you there
right after the big protest?
676
00:33:53,074 --> 00:33:55,344
Hey, man, we gotta stop these squirrels.
677
00:33:57,618 --> 00:33:59,026
He plays bass, don't he?
678
00:34:01,555 --> 00:34:02,863
You can take the brassiere off, too.
679
00:34:03,314 --> 00:34:07,024
And by the way, he does play the bass.
And he writes songs.
680
00:34:07,188 --> 00:34:09,554
What does he write songs about,
how bad his ponytail stinks?
681
00:34:09,715 --> 00:34:12,268
Mrs. Harrington, could you put
your hands on your hips, please?
682
00:34:12,436 --> 00:34:15,152
Okay, so, one of the funbags
is not having too much fun.
683
00:34:15,316 --> 00:34:16,624
All right, what happened anyways?
684
00:34:16,692 --> 00:34:19,376
- Well, I hit it with the car door yesterday...
- Right.
685
00:34:19,475 --> 00:34:23,533
...and I heard a pop
and then some sloshing sound when I walk.
686
00:34:23,700 --> 00:34:25,904
Yeah. I think.
687
00:34:29,556 --> 00:34:30,570
What are you doing?
688
00:34:30,900 --> 00:34:33,420
Could be the kids or could be Brian.
689
00:34:33,492 --> 00:34:34,670
Okay. Stop that.
690
00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:36,911
Do you mind just for one second?
Let me just talk to this guy.
691
00:34:37,268 --> 00:34:38,413
Stop!
692
00:34:39,636 --> 00:34:40,813
Yeah.
693
00:34:41,237 --> 00:34:43,059
- Hello?
- Yeah, man!
694
00:34:43,700 --> 00:34:44,977
- Brian?
- You can lie down.
695
00:34:45,076 --> 00:34:47,532
Yeah, hi! We sure are.
696
00:34:47,957 --> 00:34:50,194
Yeah, no, sushi would be groovy.
697
00:34:50,260 --> 00:34:53,294
Okay, I'll see you at 1:00 in the lobby.
Okay, bye.
698
00:34:57,397 --> 00:34:58,674
What voice was that?
699
00:34:59,029 --> 00:35:00,044
That was my voice.
700
00:35:00,277 --> 00:35:01,422
Really?
701
00:35:02,837 --> 00:35:05,619
- I didn't sound like that.
- One o’clock...
702
00:35:05,942 --> 00:35:07,796
You're excited about this guy, huh?
703
00:35:08,150 --> 00:35:10,605
Mrs. Harrington, this is numbing cream
for your nipples, okay?
704
00:35:10,710 --> 00:35:11,823
Okay.
705
00:35:12,214 --> 00:35:13,458
It's gonna be one afternoon.
706
00:35:13,558 --> 00:35:14,900
Why are we making
such a big deal out of this?
707
00:35:14,999 --> 00:35:17,071
Because you know what? You're trying to
get my kids involved
708
00:35:17,142 --> 00:35:21,298
in your dysfunctional,
sick Little, pathetic, twisted web of lies.
709
00:35:21,398 --> 00:35:23,024
When I was negotiating
with your son, Michael,
710
00:35:23,094 --> 00:35:25,909
he had the biggest smile
I've ever seen on anyone's face.
711
00:35:26,390 --> 00:35:28,594
When I told him we could do it
at J.D. McFunnigan's,
712
00:35:28,663 --> 00:35:31,477
the kid looked like he won
the Heisman Trophy, I'm not kidding you.
713
00:35:31,638 --> 00:35:33,013
I think that's enough. Do you feel that?
714
00:35:33,111 --> 00:35:34,093
No.
715
00:35:34,199 --> 00:35:35,182
No, but do you feel that?
716
00:35:35,639 --> 00:35:37,264
- No.
- We're good.
717
00:35:37,399 --> 00:35:39,471
By the way, did you make this?
718
00:35:40,599 --> 00:35:44,342
We’ll have to give it to the Smithsonian
when we've done the operation. Terrific job.
719
00:35:44,919 --> 00:35:46,097
Did he really smile?
720
00:35:46,295 --> 00:35:48,019
Swear to God, like the cutest Little smile.
721
00:35:48,792 --> 00:35:50,384
And I got Maggie to eat.
722
00:35:51,064 --> 00:35:52,176
- You did?
- Yeah.
723
00:35:52,504 --> 00:35:54,194
Pizza. Deep dish. Three pieces.
724
00:35:54,457 --> 00:35:55,798
I can't get her to eat anything.
725
00:35:55,864 --> 00:35:58,613
I know you can't. Don't do this for me.
726
00:35:59,831 --> 00:36:01,141
Do it for the children.
727
00:36:03,064 --> 00:36:04,525
- Yeah!
- Oh, stop!
728
00:36:05,625 --> 00:36:08,375
Come on, you're late!
What are you, in character right away?
729
00:36:08,472 --> 00:36:09,617
Come on, let's go!
730
00:36:09,913 --> 00:36:11,407
She's inside.
731
00:36:13,432 --> 00:36:14,545
What is that?
732
00:36:15,065 --> 00:36:16,047
What?
733
00:36:16,217 --> 00:36:18,737
Did Victoria Beckham have a yard sale?
Why are you wearing that?
734
00:36:19,161 --> 00:36:21,550
Are you kidding me?
This is what you bought for me.
735
00:36:21,657 --> 00:36:23,151
I know, I know. I'm just saying is it...
736
00:36:23,225 --> 00:36:25,494
All right, we're stuck with it,
I just think it's a Little over the top, but...
737
00:36:25,593 --> 00:36:27,382
Thanks. Happy to be here to help you.
738
00:36:27,481 --> 00:36:31,191
The first rule of improv
is always accept the information.
739
00:36:31,354 --> 00:36:34,289
If someone says something, just go with it.
No negating.
740
00:36:34,522 --> 00:36:36,115
Gotcha. That sounds good, that's smart.
741
00:36:36,186 --> 00:36:38,575
In my acting class,
when someone says "No" in a scene,
742
00:36:38,682 --> 00:36:40,023
the whole class yells, "Die!"
743
00:36:40,218 --> 00:36:43,065
No. I mean, no one will say "no" then.
Don't yell "die. "
744
00:36:43,227 --> 00:36:44,503
Who's up for some warm-up exercises?
745
00:36:44,602 --> 00:36:46,358
- No, honey, I'm not gonna do that.
- The what?
746
00:36:46,522 --> 00:36:49,621
The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.
The tip of the tongue, the teeth, the lips.
747
00:36:51,707 --> 00:36:53,332
I got one for you. Shut up!
748
00:36:54,458 --> 00:36:56,825
All right, let's go already.
Are you ready there, Mafia?
749
00:36:57,179 --> 00:36:58,771
- Hell, yeah.
- Let's do it!
750
00:37:40,605 --> 00:37:41,979
Stinks.
751
00:37:42,365 --> 00:37:46,904
Smells like kids' feet
and like skidmark underwear.
752
00:37:47,581 --> 00:37:48,694
Happy Father's Day.
753
00:37:51,261 --> 00:37:52,276
Jeez!
754
00:37:53,821 --> 00:37:57,466
Mommy!
That man put his pee-pee on my face!
755
00:37:57,629 --> 00:37:58,709
What?
756
00:37:59,645 --> 00:38:02,842
- He put his face on my pee-pee.
- Danny!
757
00:38:03,006 --> 00:38:05,013
- I'm saying he's the one.
- I don't think it matters.
758
00:38:05,183 --> 00:38:06,197
No, I get you.
759
00:38:06,366 --> 00:38:08,024
Palmer, darling.
760
00:38:08,222 --> 00:38:09,236
Hi.
761
00:38:09,662 --> 00:38:12,346
Devlin. Thank you so much
for bringing the kids today.
762
00:38:12,446 --> 00:38:14,235
I don't think she was the only one
who brought them.
763
00:38:14,302 --> 00:38:16,124
You know what I'm saying?
764
00:38:16,190 --> 00:38:17,652
They are my pride and joy.
765
00:38:17,758 --> 00:38:21,621
So I'd like to introduce you to,
the one and only,
766
00:38:21,726 --> 00:38:25,436
Kiki Dee, who came out
at nine pounds four ounces.
767
00:38:25,503 --> 00:38:26,517
Yeouch.
768
00:38:26,687 --> 00:38:28,542
And then the whopper, we call him, Bart,
769
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:31,421
because he was a 12-pounder
and did some damage.
770
00:38:31,518 --> 00:38:33,013
Okay. So...
771
00:38:33,887 --> 00:38:35,065
Hi, you guys.
772
00:38:35,231 --> 00:38:37,882
Hello, Palmer. Heard so much about you.
773
00:38:39,743 --> 00:38:40,824
You're British?
774
00:38:41,024 --> 00:38:44,471
So you're the bird what's been given Daddy
the ol' slap and tickle?
775
00:38:46,304 --> 00:38:50,265
We sent her to boarding school last year
in England.
776
00:38:50,784 --> 00:38:55,040
See? So she picked up a slight accent.
It's, you know, very Madonna.
777
00:38:55,392 --> 00:38:57,563
Well, it is a pleasure
meeting you, Kiki Dee.
778
00:38:58,048 --> 00:38:59,542
Wish I could say the same.
779
00:38:59,745 --> 00:39:02,941
You see, before you, I had meself a father.
780
00:39:03,233 --> 00:39:04,858
I was the apple of his eye.
781
00:39:04,962 --> 00:39:08,191
It was all giggling
and chasing butterflies in the meadows,
782
00:39:08,290 --> 00:39:09,434
and what have you.
783
00:39:09,729 --> 00:39:10,939
And now what do I got?
784
00:39:11,041 --> 00:39:14,685
An hour and a half every other week
at J.D. McFunnigan's
785
00:39:14,754 --> 00:39:17,175
with him and his whore.
786
00:39:17,890 --> 00:39:19,319
- Koko! Kiki!
- Kiki!
787
00:39:22,114 --> 00:39:23,870
God, she's in such pain.
788
00:39:23,969 --> 00:39:26,838
No, that's the pills that... She took some
out of her mother's bureau.
789
00:39:26,914 --> 00:39:27,961
Are you...
790
00:39:28,130 --> 00:39:29,559
All right, let me go see her.
791
00:39:31,522 --> 00:39:33,115
How are you doing, sweetie?
792
00:39:33,186 --> 00:39:36,350
I'll be better when I start
seeing some tokens.
793
00:39:37,570 --> 00:39:38,847
He's American.
794
00:39:40,386 --> 00:39:43,103
Excuse me. Yo! What was that all about?
795
00:39:43,266 --> 00:39:47,423
That was raw and real and in the moment.
You know, I feel very good about it.
796
00:39:47,523 --> 00:39:49,083
You do? Well, I don't!
797
00:39:49,155 --> 00:39:51,741
So if you wanna get your money
and your acting classes,
798
00:39:51,843 --> 00:39:54,527
you better start doing things right
from now on.
799
00:39:54,594 --> 00:39:56,002
No more sob stories.
800
00:39:56,067 --> 00:40:00,158
And we're stuck with the English accent now,
Ringo, so commit to it. Don't choke, got it?
801
00:40:00,227 --> 00:40:01,275
Got it.
802
00:40:01,347 --> 00:40:05,122
Now hug me and laugh
and let's get back into the show.
803
00:40:05,188 --> 00:40:07,708
Okay. Papa!
804
00:40:10,147 --> 00:40:12,318
You're not a whore, Palmer.
805
00:40:12,388 --> 00:40:13,435
Okay.
806
00:40:13,508 --> 00:40:16,443
That's so nice. See what they do, they fight,
then they make up and it's good.
807
00:40:16,612 --> 00:40:18,303
Good. We're doing good.
808
00:40:19,012 --> 00:40:20,507
Are you kidding me?
809
00:40:20,932 --> 00:40:24,642
Got a hamburger here for Bart,
Art the Water Fart.
810
00:40:24,708 --> 00:40:26,945
- Here you go, kid.
- Look at that, sweet!
811
00:40:27,044 --> 00:40:31,235
And two quesadillas for Kiki Sneaky
With a Side of Freaky.
812
00:40:32,453 --> 00:40:35,966
Here's the waters. No soda for you.
You're battling diabetes, remember?
813
00:40:37,893 --> 00:40:39,234
Kiki Dee?
814
00:40:39,397 --> 00:40:41,502
I got you two quesadillas
'cause it's your favorite food
815
00:40:41,605 --> 00:40:43,035
so you have to eat it.
816
00:40:44,133 --> 00:40:48,541
Well, yes! And that's why I'm going to eat
every single bit of it.
817
00:40:48,870 --> 00:40:50,363
All right, let's see.
818
00:40:53,030 --> 00:40:54,077
Yummy!
819
00:40:54,246 --> 00:40:55,228
Thank you.
820
00:40:55,494 --> 00:40:57,152
Hey, I think we forgot napkins.
821
00:40:57,446 --> 00:40:59,235
We did? Okay. Well let me get the napkins.
822
00:40:59,334 --> 00:41:00,828
Because I know
she's not gonna get up and do it
823
00:41:00,934 --> 00:41:02,362
because she doesn't like
to get up and do anything.
824
00:41:02,535 --> 00:41:03,581
Oh, nice.
825
00:41:03,751 --> 00:41:05,158
Everybody be cool.
826
00:41:06,470 --> 00:41:10,627
So, Bart, your dad tells me
you like to go to the bathroom.
827
00:41:11,238 --> 00:41:13,507
When I feel it, I do it.
828
00:41:14,375 --> 00:41:15,868
What else do you like?
829
00:41:16,135 --> 00:41:17,411
I don't know.
830
00:41:18,919 --> 00:41:21,953
That's our Bart.
He's a man of very few words.
831
00:41:23,175 --> 00:41:24,287
Okay.
832
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:25,948
Maybe I'm upset.
833
00:41:26,919 --> 00:41:28,513
Upset about me and your father dating?
834
00:41:28,712 --> 00:41:33,087
No. You seem to make my dad happy
and that's cool, but...
835
00:41:33,896 --> 00:41:34,943
But what?
836
00:41:36,136 --> 00:41:37,249
Nothing.
837
00:41:37,415 --> 00:41:39,652
Hey, I want you to feel comfortable
telling me anything.
838
00:41:40,391 --> 00:41:42,846
Well, I just hate
that he broke his promise to me.
839
00:41:43,016 --> 00:41:44,031
What promise?
840
00:41:44,136 --> 00:41:45,346
Yeah, what promise?
841
00:41:45,512 --> 00:41:48,229
He promised me last year
that he would take me to Hawaii
842
00:41:48,328 --> 00:41:49,310
to swim with the dolphins.
843
00:41:49,673 --> 00:41:53,120
They have this lagoon there with dolphins
and people get to swim with them.
844
00:41:53,257 --> 00:41:54,239
What are you doing?
845
00:41:54,313 --> 00:41:56,931
But without warning,
my dad canceled the trip.
846
00:41:57,257 --> 00:41:58,599
Why would he do that?
847
00:41:58,921 --> 00:42:00,612
He met you.
848
00:42:01,897 --> 00:42:03,009
He what?
849
00:42:03,177 --> 00:42:04,932
- No!
- Die!
850
00:42:05,097 --> 00:42:07,966
No, no, no, no, no, no!
I'm saying that did not...
851
00:42:08,393 --> 00:42:13,128
You misread what I said.
I said we have to go to Hawaii earlier.
852
00:42:13,418 --> 00:42:16,320
Because I'm excited for all of us
to hang out there.
853
00:42:16,394 --> 00:42:17,408
We're going to Hawaii!
854
00:42:26,698 --> 00:42:29,732
I can't believe
I let a six-year-old blackmail me.
855
00:42:30,218 --> 00:42:32,073
I saw my shot and I took it.
856
00:42:32,394 --> 00:42:34,915
You're angry at yourself
'cause you got us into this whole situation.
857
00:42:35,018 --> 00:42:36,196
- I did?
- You really did.
858
00:42:36,298 --> 00:42:37,957
I think old Mary Poppins with the,
859
00:42:38,058 --> 00:42:40,514
"You can't say no.
You can't say no, Guv'nor. "
860
00:42:40,683 --> 00:42:42,373
Okay, Listen, my tolerance
861
00:42:42,443 --> 00:42:44,548
for these continued shenanigans
is right here.
862
00:42:44,715 --> 00:42:48,773
And if it gets up to here, I'm taking my kids,
I'm selling you out and I'm going home.
863
00:42:49,100 --> 00:42:52,361
I am so happy we are doing this, Danny.
864
00:42:52,459 --> 00:42:55,557
Are you kidding me? We're going to Hawaii,
we're gonna swim with dolphins.
865
00:42:55,660 --> 00:42:57,253
It's gonna be so much fun.
I was just telling the squirt.
866
00:42:57,324 --> 00:42:58,753
And Seventeen magazine.
867
00:42:58,859 --> 00:43:00,485
You brought that
for these guys or is that for you?
868
00:43:00,556 --> 00:43:02,050
It's mine. It's my favorite.
869
00:43:02,124 --> 00:43:05,091
See that? Did you ever read that magazine?
Thirty years ago you did.
870
00:43:05,772 --> 00:43:08,674
And hopefully we're gonna
have time together, right, sweetie?
871
00:43:08,779 --> 00:43:10,536
Wait! Wait!
872
00:43:12,364 --> 00:43:13,957
Danny, wait!
873
00:43:18,220 --> 00:43:21,798
Muffinstein,
I could not stand to be without you.
874
00:43:23,053 --> 00:43:26,598
Is this him? I see the Colonel von Generous
right here in front of me.
875
00:43:26,701 --> 00:43:28,228
Okay, I'm confused right now.
876
00:43:28,525 --> 00:43:31,656
I'm so sorry. I've not introduced myself,
we have talked on the phone,
877
00:43:31,725 --> 00:43:33,797
but I am the Dolph Lundgren.
878
00:43:35,182 --> 00:43:37,189
Devlin's man-friend love monkey.
879
00:43:37,326 --> 00:43:38,373
Oh, kill me now.
880
00:43:38,445 --> 00:43:40,300
Devlin said you had to stay back and work.
881
00:43:40,462 --> 00:43:41,836
- I did.
- She what said?
882
00:43:41,998 --> 00:43:45,959
Nein, nein to the work.
I will work when I am kaput.
883
00:43:46,157 --> 00:43:49,092
You know, I think this is
so great of all of you, so mature.
884
00:43:49,166 --> 00:43:52,515
I would have loved if my parents had done
something like this when they got divorced.
885
00:43:52,622 --> 00:43:56,396
That's why I was thinking we should have
the man come. Yeah, I'm glad. I'm glad.
886
00:43:56,558 --> 00:44:00,389
It's important for the children
to see us as a unit.
887
00:44:00,495 --> 00:44:02,350
And also I cannot stay away
from this potato pancake.
888
00:44:02,447 --> 00:44:05,000
She loves the schnitzel,
you know what I mean?
889
00:44:08,558 --> 00:44:10,347
You know what? Tongue feels a Little dry.
890
00:44:10,447 --> 00:44:12,716
Let's go get you some water, honey.
We'll be back.
891
00:44:12,815 --> 00:44:14,245
That's a big tongue, big tongue.
892
00:44:14,319 --> 00:44:15,879
Get over here, get over here.
893
00:44:16,655 --> 00:44:17,637
What are you doing here?
894
00:44:17,711 --> 00:44:19,784
I don't know, saving the day.
Helping. Hello?
895
00:44:19,888 --> 00:44:21,644
Who are you talking to?
What are you looking at?
896
00:44:22,287 --> 00:44:23,465
I can't see in these things.
897
00:44:23,567 --> 00:44:24,582
This is what you're gonna do.
898
00:44:24,688 --> 00:44:27,306
You're gonna tell them that you ate
a bad sauerkraut omelet for breakfast
899
00:44:27,407 --> 00:44:29,611
and that you are feeling like you're sick
and that you gotta go.
900
00:44:29,712 --> 00:44:31,304
- Katherine, I can't go. Okay?
- Why?
901
00:44:31,408 --> 00:44:34,888
Because I texted a picture
of my new equipment to my ex-girlfriend.
902
00:44:34,961 --> 00:44:35,943
You're disgusting.
903
00:44:36,048 --> 00:44:39,593
And I forgot she's engaged to a UFC fighter.
He wants to punch me in the face.
904
00:44:39,761 --> 00:44:41,190
I wanna punch you in the face.
905
00:44:41,296 --> 00:44:42,344
Hey, guys, how we doing?
906
00:44:44,112 --> 00:44:46,927
I am just waiting for the
money for the ticket.
907
00:44:46,992 --> 00:44:49,229
So you are coming? And I am paying?
908
00:44:49,392 --> 00:44:51,531
Yes. Dolph has zero dollars.
909
00:44:51,601 --> 00:44:52,583
- Woops!
- Okay.
910
00:44:53,649 --> 00:44:56,203
Let me see if I can find my credit card.
Here it is.
911
00:44:57,552 --> 00:44:59,211
That's for sleeping with my wife, pal.
912
00:45:12,594 --> 00:45:14,481
- There you go.
- Thank you.
913
00:45:14,641 --> 00:45:15,689
Hey, hey!
914
00:45:15,762 --> 00:45:18,730
Didn't have time to make any reservations,
but I need two rooms, please.
915
00:45:18,802 --> 00:45:21,802
Of course.
Unfortunately, we only have our suites left.
916
00:45:21,970 --> 00:45:23,050
Oh, boy.
917
00:45:23,121 --> 00:45:27,464
The Waldorf Astoria at $8,000 per night
and the Presidential at $12,000.
918
00:45:27,570 --> 00:45:30,887
$12,000 a night? Do the Rolling Stones
come and play for me while I'm in there?
919
00:45:30,963 --> 00:45:32,751
What the hell are you talking about?
Why is it so much?
920
00:45:32,851 --> 00:45:35,240
Is it made out of panda?
I've used that somewhere else, but is it?
921
00:45:35,795 --> 00:45:38,032
No, but you've made
some terrific suggestions
922
00:45:38,131 --> 00:45:39,374
and I'm gonna jot them down.
923
00:45:39,443 --> 00:45:41,614
Are you a member of
the Hilton Honors Rewards program?
924
00:45:41,683 --> 00:45:42,666
No, I'm not.
925
00:45:42,835 --> 00:45:44,842
That's too bad. You should join.
926
00:45:44,916 --> 00:45:46,093
Yeah.
927
00:45:50,003 --> 00:45:51,792
Just got reamed. I mean, I got the rooms.
928
00:45:52,339 --> 00:45:53,485
Who wants to go to the beach?
929
00:45:53,556 --> 00:45:54,799
Me!
930
00:45:54,964 --> 00:45:56,207
Who wants to start drinking?
931
00:45:56,372 --> 00:45:58,029
Me!
932
00:46:13,557 --> 00:46:17,681
Okay, yeah, I would create
a fake family for that. Oh, my God!
933
00:46:17,812 --> 00:46:19,373
You know what? You're disgusting.
934
00:46:19,637 --> 00:46:23,794
Mumsy, please do come in.
The water's as lovely as Westminster in May.
935
00:46:23,957 --> 00:46:26,510
No, honey, I'm good.
I don't really feel like swimming right now.
936
00:46:26,678 --> 00:46:28,849
What is this from, my Liebchen?
937
00:46:28,917 --> 00:46:32,692
Don't you be intimidated by her whole thing
right there, which is perfect.
938
00:46:32,757 --> 00:46:36,914
Come on. Like she's intimidated.
I hope when I'm her age I look that good.
939
00:46:37,014 --> 00:46:38,028
Yes, right?
940
00:46:38,198 --> 00:46:39,725
You can look that good
941
00:46:39,893 --> 00:46:44,913
if you don't take the elevators
and only take the stairs like Cary Grant.
942
00:46:46,518 --> 00:46:49,235
Take the stairs. Take the stairs.
943
00:46:50,486 --> 00:46:52,047
Hey, why are we stopped here?
944
00:46:52,214 --> 00:46:54,636
What's the matter?
I can't look at engagement rings?
945
00:46:54,807 --> 00:46:56,563
- Engagement rings?
- Yeah, you heard me.
946
00:46:56,726 --> 00:46:59,149
Look all you want,
but you and I both know that
947
00:46:59,319 --> 00:47:00,334
you're gonna get sick of this hottie
948
00:47:00,406 --> 00:47:02,098
and you're gonna be back
on the prowl next week.
949
00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:03,955
Nope. I'm telling you,
is this girl not cute?
950
00:47:04,119 --> 00:47:05,167
Yeah, she's really cute.
951
00:47:05,238 --> 00:47:06,286
Is she not the sweetest?
952
00:47:06,359 --> 00:47:07,406
The nicest person I've ever met.
953
00:47:07,575 --> 00:47:08,916
Did you ever see her lips?
954
00:47:09,079 --> 00:47:10,356
I think she has the
best lips I've ever seen.
955
00:47:10,455 --> 00:47:12,593
They're like an inner tube
and I just wanna sit on it.
956
00:47:12,727 --> 00:47:14,003
You know what I mean? And just, like...
957
00:47:14,359 --> 00:47:15,789
Do you want me to knock you out, or...
958
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,668
No, I'm saying you should sit on her lips.
959
00:47:18,839 --> 00:47:19,919
Anyways...
960
00:47:20,088 --> 00:47:22,609
You know, this whole situation
reminds me of a song.
961
00:47:22,808 --> 00:47:25,394
Danny is a big plastic surgeon
962
00:47:25,559 --> 00:47:27,927
Who never had time for a wife
963
00:47:28,216 --> 00:47:31,250
And he's friends with Davy
Who's still in the Navy
964
00:47:31,416 --> 00:47:33,041
Piano Man? Why Piano Man?
965
00:47:33,208 --> 00:47:34,419
No, it's "Piano Dan. "
966
00:47:34,489 --> 00:47:36,431
That's based on your life.
It's a Little Eddie remix.
967
00:47:37,337 --> 00:47:41,395
Eddie used to have an afro
And pimples all over his face
968
00:47:41,657 --> 00:47:44,657
So he popped and he poked 'em
And Clearasil soaked 'em
969
00:47:44,729 --> 00:47:47,544
But ladies still greet him with mace
970
00:47:48,697 --> 00:47:50,038
I was maced one time.
971
00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:51,673
Five times.
972
00:47:55,258 --> 00:47:57,975
So, guys, we're here
to get to know each other better.
973
00:47:58,041 --> 00:47:59,088
- Yes.
- Yeah.
974
00:47:59,161 --> 00:48:00,568
Dolph, let's start with you.
975
00:48:00,730 --> 00:48:02,355
So, what line of work are you in?
976
00:48:02,522 --> 00:48:06,134
Well, Palmer, I am in sheep.
977
00:48:07,642 --> 00:48:09,168
I'm sorry. I don't know what you mean.
978
00:48:09,626 --> 00:48:12,659
I am a sheep shipper.
979
00:48:13,050 --> 00:48:14,129
Yes.
980
00:48:14,203 --> 00:48:16,275
You know, people, they don't buy the sheep
981
00:48:16,379 --> 00:48:17,840
from the local sheepherder anymore.
982
00:48:18,362 --> 00:48:19,791
Really? They don't?
983
00:48:19,962 --> 00:48:23,312
No, they don't. They go online!
984
00:48:23,610 --> 00:48:25,171
Yes! They go on the Interweb,
985
00:48:25,371 --> 00:48:29,462
to my website, gotprettysheep. com.
986
00:48:29,531 --> 00:48:31,058
And leave this, please. Thank you.
987
00:48:31,163 --> 00:48:33,235
Now, people go on.
They see the pictures of the sheep,
988
00:48:33,340 --> 00:48:34,681
and they pick the ones they want.
989
00:48:34,779 --> 00:48:36,055
You know, it's like, "I want that one.
990
00:48:36,123 --> 00:48:38,262
"You know, it's very stylish.
You know, it's a stylish one. "
991
00:48:38,332 --> 00:48:40,698
Goes, "Oh, no, I want the shy one
who doesn't want to baa. "
992
00:48:40,859 --> 00:48:42,354
Or they buy the sassy one,
993
00:48:42,523 --> 00:48:45,785
who's like, "Hey, I see you, baa, baa. "
994
00:48:45,884 --> 00:48:47,411
So, what do the people do with these sheep?
995
00:48:47,900 --> 00:48:50,453
Whatever they want! Sky is the limit.
996
00:48:50,620 --> 00:48:54,199
You know, some have them as pets.
Some have them as security for the house.
997
00:48:54,364 --> 00:48:55,608
A lot of the people...
998
00:48:55,772 --> 00:49:00,245
The new thing is training them
to fight each other in the Sheep Fight Club.
999
00:49:01,501 --> 00:49:03,289
Sheep Fight Clubs?
1000
00:49:03,453 --> 00:49:07,795
Yes. All the sheeps, they get together.
They baa, all you hear is, "Baa, baa, baa. "
1001
00:49:07,965 --> 00:49:11,097
And then you see hoof, kick, hoof, kick,
hoof, kick, baa, baa, baa, baa, baa!
1002
00:49:11,260 --> 00:49:12,373
And then he's out.
1003
00:49:12,541 --> 00:49:15,803
And that is how we met.
She bought a sheep from me.
1004
00:49:16,381 --> 00:49:17,559
Really? Why?
1005
00:49:17,725 --> 00:49:19,612
Children? Okay, tune out.
1006
00:49:19,773 --> 00:49:23,483
Okay, 'cause some secrets are coming out,
all right? Some adult ones.
1007
00:49:23,645 --> 00:49:26,296
She likes to shave the sheep
1008
00:49:26,525 --> 00:49:30,518
for the pelt for the sex, sexuals, yes.
1009
00:49:30,846 --> 00:49:34,042
She has got a real fetish
for the wool and stuff, you know.
1010
00:49:34,142 --> 00:49:36,030
We do this thing called "sheepstenein. "
1011
00:49:36,606 --> 00:49:39,062
Danny? Would you come with me, please?
1012
00:49:39,134 --> 00:49:41,818
Yeah. Absolutely.
So, we're gonna leave right now.
1013
00:49:41,886 --> 00:49:43,577
So you guys play that game
that we always love to play,
1014
00:49:43,646 --> 00:49:44,660
Nobody Talk game.
1015
00:49:44,735 --> 00:49:45,847
And start now.
1016
00:49:46,015 --> 00:49:48,219
- I'm sorry, we're leaving. I can't do it.
- No.
1017
00:49:48,287 --> 00:49:49,497
I'm gonna kill that guy. He's lost it.
1018
00:49:49,566 --> 00:49:52,250
He was going sheep-crazy, I'll give you that.
Where is your hand right now?
1019
00:49:52,350 --> 00:49:54,936
You wanna see where it is?
It's not even here anymore! It's gone!
1020
00:49:55,008 --> 00:49:57,690
How about I beat him up?
You can beat him up with me. It'll be fun.
1021
00:49:57,855 --> 00:49:59,447
I don't want to! I have to go.
1022
00:49:59,551 --> 00:50:01,493
- Don't bail on me right now!
- Don't make that face at me.
1023
00:50:01,568 --> 00:50:03,804
- I cannot stand that face.
- Katherine?
1024
00:50:03,967 --> 00:50:05,658
Katherine Murphy?
1025
00:50:06,303 --> 00:50:09,238
Oh, my God, Devlin Adams.
1026
00:50:11,456 --> 00:50:14,968
- Devlin? Devlin as in taking a...
- Taking? From what I see...
1027
00:50:15,072 --> 00:50:17,211
It's my favorite college Devlin!
1028
00:50:17,984 --> 00:50:21,018
Both of us here at this resort
at the same time.
1029
00:50:21,728 --> 00:50:23,735
I didn't know you came to places like this.
1030
00:50:23,809 --> 00:50:24,824
Here we go.
1031
00:50:24,896 --> 00:50:25,878
Honey!
1032
00:50:25,984 --> 00:50:27,578
Honey, I want you to meet someone.
1033
00:50:28,257 --> 00:50:31,573
This is one of my best friends
from my sorority.
1034
00:50:31,648 --> 00:50:34,299
Katherine, this is my husband,
Ian Maxtone Jones.
1035
00:50:34,432 --> 00:50:35,414
Pleasure.
1036
00:50:35,488 --> 00:50:38,205
You might've heard of him.
He invented the iPod.
1037
00:50:38,497 --> 00:50:41,367
Well, of course he did. The iPod.
1038
00:50:41,537 --> 00:50:43,642
The idea just came to me in the shower.
1039
00:50:43,970 --> 00:50:47,166
A shower that I was taking with Devlin.
1040
00:50:49,570 --> 00:50:52,734
So, this is a cabana
you guys got yourselves here, huh?
1041
00:50:52,898 --> 00:50:55,166
Because my skin is so white.
I don't like to get it burned.
1042
00:50:55,330 --> 00:50:56,923
Even at night?
1043
00:50:57,250 --> 00:50:59,738
Well, in Hawaii, you never know with the sun.
Very, very strong.
1044
00:51:00,898 --> 00:51:02,589
So you mean like a moonburn or...
1045
00:51:03,906 --> 00:51:05,978
You look fantastic.
1046
00:51:06,147 --> 00:51:10,522
You look great. I'm so glad
you got your teeth fixed. Much better.
1047
00:51:11,170 --> 00:51:15,098
You are just the same glorious Devlin
that I remember.
1048
00:51:15,170 --> 00:51:17,887
Oh, my God, I ran into
Sandra Wernick last month.
1049
00:51:18,690 --> 00:51:21,690
The poor thing.
She's already divorced and she has a child.
1050
00:51:22,019 --> 00:51:24,441
She's a single mother. It's a disaster.
1051
00:51:24,547 --> 00:51:26,042
I feel so bad for her.
1052
00:51:26,339 --> 00:51:27,801
Are you married?
1053
00:51:28,611 --> 00:51:29,723
Yes.
1054
00:51:30,275 --> 00:51:33,406
I've neglected to introduce you to Danny,
1055
00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:38,112
Daniel Leroy Maccabee III, my husband.
1056
00:51:38,499 --> 00:51:41,402
Yes. If you want me to stay,
will you just go with it, honey?
1057
00:51:41,572 --> 00:51:43,874
- Come here and please meet Devlin and Ian.
- Hey.
1058
00:51:44,131 --> 00:51:45,474
This is Daniel.
1059
00:51:45,701 --> 00:51:47,969
- IPod, what's up? How are you?
- I'm fine.
1060
00:51:48,132 --> 00:51:50,020
- Invented it.
- Pleasure. I heard.
1061
00:51:50,117 --> 00:51:54,624
Devlin, I think I spoke about you with my wife
in the bathroom one or two times, right?
1062
00:51:54,692 --> 00:51:55,772
We did.
1063
00:51:55,877 --> 00:51:58,811
- Number two.
- We did it twice, yes.
1064
00:51:58,916 --> 00:52:01,470
So, chief, tell me,
what do you do for a living?
1065
00:52:01,540 --> 00:52:05,152
I'm also an inventor, just like you.
I invented the barking hand.
1066
00:52:06,981 --> 00:52:08,542
I got you. But you're sunburned?
1067
00:52:08,901 --> 00:52:10,047
- No.
- What?
1068
00:52:10,437 --> 00:52:11,811
You are a surgeon.
1069
00:52:11,909 --> 00:52:14,527
He's a plastic surgeon,
and he's one of the best
1070
00:52:14,693 --> 00:52:16,286
according to Los Angeles Magazine.
1071
00:52:16,709 --> 00:52:17,822
Touchdown!
1072
00:52:17,894 --> 00:52:19,617
Yes. Well, that, yeah.
1073
00:52:19,782 --> 00:52:20,764
Touched it down.
1074
00:52:20,934 --> 00:52:23,106
We gotta go back. We have to run.
It was great to see you.
1075
00:52:23,237 --> 00:52:24,732
We have to get back to our kids. So...
1076
00:52:25,030 --> 00:52:26,045
You have kids?
1077
00:52:26,950 --> 00:52:30,464
Yeah, two, actually.
We couldn’t wait to start creating lives.
1078
00:52:30,598 --> 00:52:35,301
And by the way, I created these children
in the shower. Right?
1079
00:52:35,398 --> 00:52:36,892
- You did.
- You know what I'm saying, homeboy?
1080
00:52:38,854 --> 00:52:39,902
That is funny.
1081
00:52:39,975 --> 00:52:41,403
Wow, you've been together a long time.
1082
00:52:41,735 --> 00:52:43,328
Am I gonna leave this girl? Look at her.
1083
00:52:43,495 --> 00:52:45,884
Still gets the flag up the pole,
if you know what I mean.
1084
00:52:46,054 --> 00:52:48,422
Bing-bang. An iRod, I should say.
1085
00:52:48,520 --> 00:52:50,046
Come on, hit that.
Why'd you leave me hanging so long?
1086
00:52:50,151 --> 00:52:52,060
You're so clever. That's so silly.
1087
00:52:52,135 --> 00:52:54,818
The four of us should get together
and have dinner one night.
1088
00:52:54,919 --> 00:52:57,308
That would be almost like a dream of mine.
1089
00:52:57,383 --> 00:53:01,246
If we could ever get ourselves
out of the bedroom.
1090
00:53:01,352 --> 00:53:03,588
Katherine Murphy, look at you!
1091
00:53:03,656 --> 00:53:06,787
Oh, no, not Murphy anymore.
Leroy Maccabee.
1092
00:53:06,856 --> 00:53:07,903
That's right.
1093
00:53:07,976 --> 00:53:11,806
The third. Anyway, so it was great to see you
and meet you, Ian.
1094
00:53:11,976 --> 00:53:13,885
The big E. Love the Shuffle, by the way.
1095
00:53:14,056 --> 00:53:16,096
- Good to meet you.
- Bye! Thanks. You, too!
1096
00:53:16,264 --> 00:53:18,207
What are you talking about? She was nice.
1097
00:53:18,376 --> 00:53:20,286
- I'm gonna kill you.
- Come on. You need me, though, right?
1098
00:53:20,393 --> 00:53:21,473
I don't believe that just happened.
1099
00:53:21,544 --> 00:53:22,789
I like that you need me.
How's that make you feel?
1100
00:53:22,856 --> 00:53:25,344
Please, it feels like a car door
just slowly shut on my soul.
1101
00:53:25,416 --> 00:53:26,529
- Come here! Listen.
- What?
1102
00:53:26,696 --> 00:53:27,809
Do you know how I feel right now?
1103
00:53:27,976 --> 00:53:30,050
You were getting me so upset,
bringing me into that web of lies.
1104
00:53:30,216 --> 00:53:32,355
My hand's right here right now.
Oh, my hand's right there.
1105
00:53:32,425 --> 00:53:33,538
You know what? I hate you right now.
1106
00:53:33,673 --> 00:53:37,317
I've gotta write out a bunch of index cards
just to keep up with these lies.
1107
00:53:37,386 --> 00:53:40,135
Yeah, and you're gonna make me copies, too.
And one more thing.
1108
00:53:44,138 --> 00:53:48,137
Oh, my God, why are we leaving the hotel
right now? Why did you wake me up?
1109
00:53:48,234 --> 00:53:52,129
Because, Grandpa, I signed us up
for the all-day adventure tour.
1110
00:53:52,234 --> 00:53:54,852
We're gonna go hiking in the rainforest,
and kayaking down rivers
1111
00:53:54,954 --> 00:53:56,580
and swimming under waterfalls.
1112
00:53:56,683 --> 00:53:58,624
Swimming. I hope you mean skinny-dipping.
1113
00:53:58,698 --> 00:54:00,073
I'm gonna suggest swimming.
1114
00:54:00,938 --> 00:54:02,825
I, however, am fine
with some man nudity, Danny.
1115
00:54:02,987 --> 00:54:06,499
Okay, so Swiss Family nightmare
is coming with us.
1116
00:54:06,667 --> 00:54:08,292
That's so we can bond?
1117
00:54:08,459 --> 00:54:10,314
That'll be great!
1118
00:54:13,867 --> 00:54:15,809
It's bloody breathtaking out here!
1119
00:54:15,979 --> 00:54:17,889
Is this where the blue Avatar people live?
1120
00:54:18,059 --> 00:54:20,547
Yeah, the blue Avatar people
and I think that black pig.
1121
00:54:21,098 --> 00:54:22,854
- Where?
- The pig.
1122
00:54:23,019 --> 00:54:24,775
Look, how cute. Looks like Babe.
1123
00:54:26,187 --> 00:54:28,097
Oh, my God! Go, Go!
1124
00:54:28,268 --> 00:54:29,861
Come on, go, go!
1125
00:54:33,100 --> 00:54:34,693
The pig is eating my body!
1126
00:54:54,828 --> 00:54:56,869
Keep your eyes on the river, sweetheart.
1127
00:54:57,037 --> 00:54:59,492
Yes. I was looking at the canyon.
1128
00:55:05,037 --> 00:55:07,176
Hey, what're you guys doing?
1129
00:55:07,341 --> 00:55:10,505
That bridge can only handle
one person at a time!
1130
00:55:11,885 --> 00:55:13,030
Go, go, go!
1131
00:55:13,102 --> 00:55:15,174
What'd he say? What'd you say?
1132
00:55:18,830 --> 00:55:20,772
Holy Devlin!
1133
00:55:22,702 --> 00:55:23,814
Come on, let's go.
1134
00:55:23,982 --> 00:55:26,600
Piggyback times are magical times,
aren't they?
1135
00:55:26,671 --> 00:55:28,907
Yeah, aren't they?
You're warping my spine now.
1136
00:55:30,990 --> 00:55:32,681
I think Kiki slipped.
1137
00:55:34,447 --> 00:55:37,643
Oh, Father,
I just love spending time with you!
1138
00:55:39,791 --> 00:55:41,678
Oh, my God!
1139
00:55:42,927 --> 00:55:44,356
You guys, look at this!
1140
00:55:44,526 --> 00:55:46,381
- Oh, my God!
- It's lovely!
1141
00:55:47,151 --> 00:55:48,874
That is unbelievable.
1142
00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:51,974
I don't know about you guys,
but I am gonna go cool off.
1143
00:55:52,144 --> 00:55:53,737
Really? There could be black pigs in there.
1144
00:55:54,128 --> 00:55:55,556
I agree.
1145
00:55:55,728 --> 00:55:57,222
Look at that. That's terrific.
1146
00:55:57,711 --> 00:56:00,745
Does the hotel know
you took those pillows, honey?
1147
00:56:01,903 --> 00:56:03,910
She really wears that bikini well.
1148
00:56:04,144 --> 00:56:05,224
Yeah.
1149
00:56:05,328 --> 00:56:08,459
You know what she'd wear well?
Dental floss and a pirate hat.
1150
00:56:08,624 --> 00:56:10,185
- Don't say that.
- Absolutely gross.
1151
00:56:12,561 --> 00:56:13,837
Oh, my God! Gorgeous!
1152
00:56:13,969 --> 00:56:14,984
Perfect.
1153
00:56:15,089 --> 00:56:17,031
That was a ten! A perfect ten!
1154
00:56:18,609 --> 00:56:19,819
So, Al Jolson,
1155
00:56:20,048 --> 00:56:21,030
you mind jumping in the water
1156
00:56:21,105 --> 00:56:23,309
and also screaming on the way down,
"I love my daddy"?
1157
00:56:23,409 --> 00:56:24,784
Okay.
1158
00:56:25,489 --> 00:56:26,537
Yeah, do it, do it for me.
1159
00:56:26,705 --> 00:56:28,080
- Do it for Da-da.
- I love my daddy.
1160
00:56:28,145 --> 00:56:30,152
Daddy is my favorite adult!
1161
00:56:31,250 --> 00:56:33,224
You're paying her enough for this, right?
1162
00:56:33,393 --> 00:56:36,143
And I love you, my Little British crumpet!
1163
00:56:37,170 --> 00:56:38,829
All right, homeboy,
you're up next. Let's go.
1164
00:56:38,993 --> 00:56:40,520
Come up with something on your own.
1165
00:56:42,450 --> 00:56:43,824
You gotta squeeze out another log?
1166
00:56:43,986 --> 00:56:45,579
What happened? What'd he whisper to you?
1167
00:56:46,130 --> 00:56:47,471
Water's too deep.
1168
00:56:47,633 --> 00:56:48,943
Water's too deep for what?
1169
00:56:49,106 --> 00:56:50,186
He can't swim.
1170
00:56:50,642 --> 00:56:52,203
He can't swim?
1171
00:56:52,530 --> 00:56:56,754
And you wanna swim with the dolphins?
That makes a lot of sense.
1172
00:56:57,522 --> 00:56:58,952
Hadn't thought it through.
1173
00:56:59,122 --> 00:57:00,716
No kidding you didn't think it through.
1174
00:57:00,882 --> 00:57:02,541
Thought about spending all my money,
though, didn't you?
1175
00:57:02,706 --> 00:57:04,845
- Danny!
- I'm saying, I'm not the kid's...
1176
00:57:05,011 --> 00:57:07,281
Okay. No one taught you how to swim, huh?
1177
00:57:07,635 --> 00:57:10,865
Well, my dad's supposed to, but he's busy.
1178
00:57:11,123 --> 00:57:13,011
Busy being an idiot.
1179
00:57:23,924 --> 00:57:27,153
You guys have to come in,
the water feels magical!
1180
00:57:27,508 --> 00:57:30,769
I got something magical, too.
Right in the downstairs area.
1181
00:57:30,933 --> 00:57:32,459
I don't high-five when it's...
1182
00:57:32,628 --> 00:57:33,708
Downstairs area!
1183
00:57:33,876 --> 00:57:35,403
- No, put it away. Sorry.
- No, stop.
1184
00:57:35,573 --> 00:57:38,289
You know what? I think Mommy's
gonna explore the magical waters.
1185
00:57:38,388 --> 00:57:40,298
Honey, are you okay to hang out here
with fake Daddy?
1186
00:57:40,852 --> 00:57:41,900
Sure.
1187
00:57:42,004 --> 00:57:44,524
Really? You're gonna get undressed?
What are you doing?
1188
00:57:44,693 --> 00:57:46,186
- What?
- You got a bathing cap, too?
1189
00:57:46,325 --> 00:57:47,437
You're the worst.
1190
00:57:47,508 --> 00:57:50,356
A 1920s swimming gown on, honey?
1191
00:57:50,773 --> 00:57:52,529
Don't do it. Don't take it off.
1192
00:58:05,909 --> 00:58:07,949
- Yeah.
- I have to be alone.
1193
00:58:08,118 --> 00:58:09,198
Okay.
1194
00:58:12,758 --> 00:58:14,830
God, I gotta start taking the stairs more.
1195
00:58:14,935 --> 00:58:15,982
Don't buy that line.
1196
00:58:16,086 --> 00:58:18,323
She takes spinning classes
like they're M&M's.
1197
00:58:24,918 --> 00:58:26,544
I think he's wearing my underwear.
1198
00:58:28,855 --> 00:58:29,967
What is he doing?
1199
00:58:30,391 --> 00:58:32,246
Yo, I guarantee you fall!
1200
00:58:32,567 --> 00:58:33,712
I'm all set.
1201
00:58:37,686 --> 00:58:39,029
Thank you, God.
1202
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:45,655
I wanna climb Palmer Mountain,
so what do you say we get rid of these kids?
1203
00:58:45,719 --> 00:58:48,272
No. They had them last night. It's our turn.
1204
00:58:48,376 --> 00:58:50,678
Isn't that how things work? We alternate?
1205
00:58:50,776 --> 00:58:52,150
- What?
- No.
1206
00:58:52,248 --> 00:58:54,997
I get the kids... I had them today.
1207
00:58:55,096 --> 00:58:57,485
That counted as a "me" day
and then she gets them at night.
1208
00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:58,705
That's how we do it.
1209
00:58:59,128 --> 00:59:00,241
Dolph, Devlin,
1210
00:59:00,312 --> 00:59:03,412
do you want us to watch the kids
so that you guys can have a Little alone time?
1211
00:59:03,736 --> 00:59:05,559
- I don't think...
- Yes! Absoshnutely!
1212
00:59:05,657 --> 00:59:06,867
We are sleeping together!
1213
00:59:06,968 --> 00:59:08,724
You guys have your own beds
and it's our time!
1214
00:59:08,793 --> 00:59:11,346
- So we're gonna watch them.
- Good.
1215
00:59:12,921 --> 00:59:14,611
You guys wanna come
take a look at the balcony?
1216
00:59:14,681 --> 00:59:15,793
I think I saw some dolphins around here.
1217
00:59:15,897 --> 00:59:18,995
Dolphins? Hey, he loves those, right?
Dolphins.
1218
00:59:19,097 --> 00:59:21,519
- Sorry. Okay, go.
- All right, let go. Come on.
1219
00:59:21,593 --> 00:59:22,934
- Get the dolphins.
- Bye, you guys.
1220
00:59:23,002 --> 00:59:25,751
That's why we're here, the dolphins.
See you out there.
1221
00:59:25,913 --> 00:59:28,848
Listen, if anything happens
and you need any... And I mean anything,
1222
00:59:28,921 --> 00:59:30,066
you have to call me.
1223
00:59:30,170 --> 00:59:31,577
I'm good at this, I swear to you.
1224
00:59:31,642 --> 00:59:33,682
I used to baby-sit Eddie
when we were children.
1225
00:59:34,073 --> 00:59:36,048
- Eddie is your fault?
- No, no, no.
1226
00:59:36,122 --> 00:59:38,969
But I want you to enjoy tonight.
Come on, it's like a free night.
1227
00:59:39,033 --> 00:59:40,408
You can do whatever you want.
1228
00:59:40,474 --> 00:59:44,152
You can knit yourself some socks
or shock people with your sneaky hot body.
1229
00:59:44,250 --> 00:59:45,876
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Cary Grant?
1230
00:59:46,042 --> 00:59:47,319
I'm just gonna sit in my room
1231
00:59:47,418 --> 00:59:49,840
and worry about you and them
and everything.
1232
00:59:49,915 --> 00:59:53,330
What about just hang out platonically
with Eddie tonight? Have some dinner?
1233
00:59:53,403 --> 00:59:57,680
Or is he not good enough? You need Brian,
the guy from Foghat, around here.
1234
00:59:57,851 --> 01:00:00,885
That really bothered you
that I went to lunch with that guy.
1235
01:00:00,954 --> 01:00:02,449
What do you mean,
you went to lunch with him?
1236
01:00:02,523 --> 01:00:04,410
I told you I was going to lunch with him.
1237
01:00:04,571 --> 01:00:07,506
I thought it was he asked you to lunch
and you were gonna like scoff at it.
1238
01:00:07,612 --> 01:00:09,848
But you did? You fell for his charms?
1239
01:00:10,300 --> 01:00:12,569
I don't even understand what this is.
1240
01:00:12,636 --> 01:00:13,912
It's the beard, man.
1241
01:00:14,140 --> 01:00:15,253
It doesn't move!
1242
01:00:15,419 --> 01:00:18,005
Well, yeah, in the wind, man.
It's flapping around.
1243
01:00:18,172 --> 01:00:19,579
All right. You know what?
I'll tell you this.
1244
01:00:19,644 --> 01:00:22,066
The guy made it through an entire lunch
with a woman
1245
01:00:22,172 --> 01:00:23,733
without making up a fake life.
1246
01:00:25,820 --> 01:00:26,998
You just hurt me.
1247
01:00:27,356 --> 01:00:30,007
That was not nice, but it was the truth.
1248
01:00:30,076 --> 01:00:32,084
And I speak the truth.
1249
01:00:32,156 --> 01:00:33,750
Please pay attention to my children.
1250
01:00:33,852 --> 01:00:34,932
Everything will be nice.
1251
01:00:35,036 --> 01:00:37,687
They serve room service in the hallway.
1252
01:00:38,077 --> 01:00:40,117
I'm so nauseous. Okay. Bye.
1253
01:00:43,516 --> 01:00:45,175
Alone at last!
1254
01:00:49,854 --> 01:00:53,432
Let's play the game.
We were doing so good with the game.
1255
01:00:54,237 --> 01:00:57,914
"If you could be one person
besides yourself,
1256
01:00:58,174 --> 01:00:59,254
"who would you be?"
1257
01:01:00,126 --> 01:01:02,973
Rachael Ray, because I've always
wanted to know how to cook.
1258
01:01:03,038 --> 01:01:04,729
- Really?
- Oh, she's darling.
1259
01:01:04,958 --> 01:01:07,347
You know what?
I don't really wanna be anyone else.
1260
01:01:07,453 --> 01:01:10,039
I'm happy with who I am. I choose me.
1261
01:01:10,367 --> 01:01:12,276
Or Captain Kirk. Either one.
1262
01:01:12,382 --> 01:01:14,073
- See, that's a good one.
- All right.
1263
01:01:14,238 --> 01:01:15,351
What about you, Bart?
1264
01:01:16,639 --> 01:01:18,329
Mr. DeCesare.
1265
01:01:18,655 --> 01:01:20,597
Our mailman? Why?
1266
01:01:21,214 --> 01:01:24,477
He just seems like he's
got it all figured out.
1267
01:01:24,734 --> 01:01:26,196
We're getting deep.
1268
01:01:26,783 --> 01:01:28,245
Okay, moving on.
1269
01:01:29,855 --> 01:01:33,052
Okay. "Name something that makes you sad. "
1270
01:01:34,623 --> 01:01:38,649
That Judi Dench has never won
the Oscar for Best Actress.
1271
01:01:39,647 --> 01:01:41,338
It's a travesty.
1272
01:01:42,528 --> 01:01:44,567
That 'N Sync broke up.
1273
01:01:45,599 --> 01:01:47,803
Yeah. That was rough on all of us.
1274
01:01:48,320 --> 01:01:50,011
Who's 'N Sync?
1275
01:01:50,880 --> 01:01:53,052
Sadness. Bart, you're up.
1276
01:01:54,177 --> 01:01:56,118
I don't wanna say mine.
1277
01:01:56,289 --> 01:01:57,979
Okay. Let's move on then.
1278
01:01:58,145 --> 01:01:59,159
Hey!
1279
01:01:59,264 --> 01:02:01,337
Honey, come on.
You can share anything with us.
1280
01:02:01,505 --> 01:02:04,254
Yeah, share.
He Looks like he's about to lose it, but okay.
1281
01:02:05,441 --> 01:02:08,408
When my dad doesn't have time for me.
1282
01:02:09,377 --> 01:02:10,653
Come on, it's okay.
1283
01:02:10,816 --> 01:02:15,094
We're okay. We're okay. It's fine.
It's all gonna be okay.
1284
01:02:15,169 --> 01:02:16,379
Come on.
1285
01:02:16,449 --> 01:02:18,489
We don't need him in our lives.
1286
01:02:18,977 --> 01:02:21,246
- Wow.
- No, no, no, he's...
1287
01:02:21,345 --> 01:02:22,524
We're okay. It's fine.
1288
01:02:22,689 --> 01:02:24,063
It's all gonna be okay.
1289
01:02:24,609 --> 01:02:28,319
This has nothing to...
This is, like, from a long time ago!
1290
01:02:29,665 --> 01:02:31,292
It's okay.
1291
01:02:33,026 --> 01:02:34,008
What are you doing?
1292
01:02:34,658 --> 01:02:36,634
Well, that was a major setback.
1293
01:02:37,219 --> 01:02:39,607
"When my dad doesn't have time for me. "
1294
01:02:40,290 --> 01:02:41,500
We're sorry.
1295
01:02:41,571 --> 01:02:44,440
I know you're sorry. I know you got real stuff
going on with your family.
1296
01:02:44,578 --> 01:02:45,723
And it's painful.
1297
01:02:45,827 --> 01:02:49,242
But you gotta just hold it in
till you get to the mainland again.
1298
01:02:49,347 --> 01:02:51,681
You're the ones who wanted to come here
and go swimming with the dolphins
1299
01:02:51,779 --> 01:02:53,819
or standing with the dolphins
because you can't swim.
1300
01:02:54,083 --> 01:02:55,938
- Can you act professional?
- Yes, sir.
1301
01:02:56,003 --> 01:02:58,043
For at least two more days,
until I kill you off
1302
01:02:58,147 --> 01:03:00,122
in a boarding school train accident?
1303
01:03:00,387 --> 01:03:01,881
I thought it was a car accident.
1304
01:03:02,051 --> 01:03:04,386
I don't know. Either that
or a science explosion, just something.
1305
01:03:04,452 --> 01:03:06,623
You're gonna be dead soon.
That's the good news. Okay?
1306
01:03:06,692 --> 01:03:08,797
So, can you just focus for a few more days?
1307
01:03:08,900 --> 01:03:10,176
- Yes.
- Good.
1308
01:03:10,339 --> 01:03:11,682
So, give me some fake hugs right now
1309
01:03:11,780 --> 01:03:14,049
and laugh real loud
like we're the happiest family on earth.
1310
01:03:14,212 --> 01:03:15,619
- Okay.
- Is that possible?
1311
01:03:15,780 --> 01:03:18,082
And Laughing, Laughing, Laughing.
1312
01:03:18,244 --> 01:03:20,578
Okay, that's it. Laugh louder, louder.
1313
01:03:22,980 --> 01:03:24,387
I love you guys!
1314
01:03:24,452 --> 01:03:26,841
Hey, sweetie! What's going on? What's up?
1315
01:03:27,012 --> 01:03:29,914
So, kids, I just got off the phone
with your mom
1316
01:03:30,085 --> 01:03:33,915
and you guys are gonna have plenty of time
to spend with your dad tomorrow
1317
01:03:34,021 --> 01:03:37,021
because she and I are gonna have
a nice, long spa day.
1318
01:03:38,213 --> 01:03:41,116
Awesome! Awesome, awesome.
1319
01:03:41,285 --> 01:03:43,041
You guys are so...
1320
01:03:43,430 --> 01:03:45,983
I'll see you in a minute, okay?
I love you.
1321
01:03:49,221 --> 01:03:50,946
- Okay, he's losing it.
- Okay, good night.
1322
01:03:51,013 --> 01:03:52,060
He's losing it.
1323
01:03:52,134 --> 01:03:55,036
All right, here we go. Everybody out.
1324
01:03:56,934 --> 01:03:58,363
So, what are we doing?
1325
01:03:58,535 --> 01:04:00,771
Palmer forgot her camera in the room
1326
01:04:00,902 --> 01:04:03,685
so I'm gonna have a surprise for her
when she gets back from the spa.
1327
01:04:03,783 --> 01:04:05,059
A stolen camera?
1328
01:04:05,126 --> 01:04:07,614
No, some pictures of us having a great time
1329
01:04:07,750 --> 01:04:10,206
reassuring her of all the fun
we have together.
1330
01:04:11,430 --> 01:04:14,081
I forgot to flush the toilet
before I left the hotel.
1331
01:04:14,470 --> 01:04:16,892
- So she's gonna have two surprises.
- Okay.
1332
01:04:16,967 --> 01:04:19,007
No one's supposed to crap
as much as you do.
1333
01:04:19,111 --> 01:04:21,249
You gotta look into that Pepto Bismol
or something.
1334
01:04:21,415 --> 01:04:23,456
Here's your putters. Bing.
1335
01:04:23,848 --> 01:04:25,277
- And a bam.
- Thank you.
1336
01:04:25,383 --> 01:04:27,009
Let's just look right in the camera.
1337
01:04:27,176 --> 01:04:28,256
And we're having fun.
1338
01:04:28,423 --> 01:04:30,179
And we're a family. We love each other.
1339
01:04:30,824 --> 01:04:31,969
And boo!
1340
01:04:32,328 --> 01:04:34,662
All right, let's do the old
Michael-hit-a-putt shot. Okay?
1341
01:04:34,728 --> 01:04:36,615
So boom, that's in the hole.
1342
01:04:36,711 --> 01:04:39,974
And you're excited about that,
and we're happy for him, and...
1343
01:04:41,128 --> 01:04:43,168
Maggie just hit the ball,
but you followed through too much
1344
01:04:43,272 --> 01:04:44,614
and it made you fall on your back.
1345
01:04:44,713 --> 01:04:46,021
Okay, but... Look at this.
1346
01:04:46,088 --> 01:04:48,226
You're Laughing, but I'm a concerned father,
so I'm like,
1347
01:04:48,297 --> 01:04:49,344
"Oh, my God. "
1348
01:04:50,408 --> 01:04:51,969
All right, now,
1349
01:04:52,072 --> 01:04:54,015
let's just laugh at something I say,
because I'm a funny dad.
1350
01:04:54,088 --> 01:04:55,998
You're very close with me,
and you think I'm funny, and...
1351
01:04:56,137 --> 01:04:58,658
Why are we always Laughing?
Is there something wrong with us?
1352
01:04:59,113 --> 01:05:01,534
No. You're just amused by everything I say.
So, here we go.
1353
01:05:01,609 --> 01:05:03,998
Can we take a break?
Do something really fun?
1354
01:05:04,136 --> 01:05:07,334
No, we're not doing anything fun, man.
We're here to fake having fun.
1355
01:05:07,433 --> 01:05:08,545
Come on. Right to the camera.
1356
01:05:08,618 --> 01:05:11,367
Don't worry.
We never have fun with our real dad either.
1357
01:05:12,329 --> 01:05:13,856
Oh, man.
1358
01:05:15,466 --> 01:05:18,019
All right. How's this?
I'll teach you how to swim, okay?
1359
01:05:18,089 --> 01:05:22,214
Before your mother gets back
from the "spa day" in four hours?
1360
01:05:22,378 --> 01:05:23,971
- Is that even possible?
- Yeah.
1361
01:05:24,106 --> 01:05:25,830
But we're gonna take one more picture,
if you don't mind.
1362
01:05:26,026 --> 01:05:28,099
Make that two pictures. Maggie.
1363
01:05:29,418 --> 01:05:30,793
Throw this straight in the air.
Make it look like...
1364
01:05:30,858 --> 01:05:32,451
On the count of three, one, two, three.
1365
01:05:32,555 --> 01:05:33,570
Okay.
1366
01:05:33,706 --> 01:05:35,136
Now, Michael, lay down.
1367
01:05:36,075 --> 01:05:37,984
On your back. And...
1368
01:05:38,058 --> 01:05:40,426
Yeah, all the way over.
See if you can clench this.
1369
01:05:40,491 --> 01:05:42,247
Now look like you're in pain.
1370
01:05:46,507 --> 01:05:48,809
It took my friend a whole summer
to learn how to swim.
1371
01:05:49,196 --> 01:05:50,472
How're you gonna teach me so quick?
1372
01:05:50,635 --> 01:05:52,937
I'm gonna do it the same way
my grandfather taught me.
1373
01:05:56,811 --> 01:06:01,252
Don't worry. It took Grandpa
eight hours to teach us. It was a nightmare.
1374
01:06:01,612 --> 01:06:05,736
But there's two of us here now,
and we're sober. You're gonna be fine.
1375
01:06:06,380 --> 01:06:07,656
All right. You're doing great.
1376
01:06:07,789 --> 01:06:09,414
- Is he doing great?
- He's doing great.
1377
01:06:09,516 --> 01:06:12,931
Okay. We want to advance a Little, though.
I need you to swim to Uncle Eddie.
1378
01:06:13,037 --> 01:06:15,819
If you get there without touching the bottom,
we'll give you a dolphin cookie.
1379
01:06:18,317 --> 01:06:19,625
Is that what your grandpa gave you?
1380
01:06:20,013 --> 01:06:22,631
No, Grandpa gave us
something he'd call a Heineken.
1381
01:06:22,700 --> 01:06:24,969
- I want one of those.
- No. Stick with the dolphin cookie.
1382
01:06:25,069 --> 01:06:27,688
Yeah. They hurt less
when they get thrown at your head.
1383
01:06:27,789 --> 01:06:29,218
God, he was a sick man.
1384
01:06:29,293 --> 01:06:32,871
Yeah. Okay? Are we ready?
Don't think about it. Commit. Kick, kick.
1385
01:06:32,941 --> 01:06:34,664
- Get the cookie.
- Move your feet.
1386
01:06:36,334 --> 01:06:37,708
Kick, kick!
1387
01:06:37,869 --> 01:06:39,625
Right there! Reach for it! You got it!
1388
01:06:39,789 --> 01:06:40,804
Doing good, buddy!
1389
01:06:42,573 --> 01:06:43,784
There you go!
1390
01:06:43,950 --> 01:06:45,859
My boy! That was terrific, buddy.
1391
01:06:45,934 --> 01:06:48,323
Have your cookie.
We're gonna move on, though.
1392
01:06:48,430 --> 01:06:49,674
Hey, Devlin?
1393
01:06:50,831 --> 01:06:52,653
- Devlin?
- Yeah?
1394
01:06:53,038 --> 01:06:56,519
So, Danny's birthday is next week,
and I have no idea what to get him.
1395
01:06:59,311 --> 01:07:00,936
Well, don't get him a tie.
1396
01:07:01,006 --> 01:07:03,079
He has 100 of them
and he never wears them.
1397
01:07:03,182 --> 01:07:04,197
That's good to know.
1398
01:07:04,750 --> 01:07:06,507
He loves books on tape for his car.
1399
01:07:06,574 --> 01:07:07,720
Fishing gear.
1400
01:07:08,207 --> 01:07:10,345
Loves it. Doesn't use it.
1401
01:07:10,415 --> 01:07:13,731
Can't take the fish off of the hook
once he catches it, so he just collects it.
1402
01:07:14,415 --> 01:07:17,612
He loves candy. Jelly Bellies.
Loves them, his favorite.
1403
01:07:17,712 --> 01:07:19,621
But he only likes the Cotton Candy
and the Peanut Butter.
1404
01:07:19,695 --> 01:07:21,735
So you have to buy the bag
of the Jelly Bellies,
1405
01:07:21,807 --> 01:07:23,302
separate the Cotton Candy
and the Peanut Butter
1406
01:07:23,375 --> 01:07:24,423
and put them into a Little...
1407
01:07:24,624 --> 01:07:26,347
It's a kind of Ziploc
baggies that I got online.
1408
01:07:26,415 --> 01:07:28,270
You know so much about him.
1409
01:07:29,295 --> 01:07:30,343
Yeah.
1410
01:07:30,832 --> 01:07:33,166
I've known the guy forever.
1411
01:07:34,928 --> 01:07:36,968
Music. Loves music.
1412
01:07:37,231 --> 01:07:40,461
But anything after '95, don't bother.
You'll lose him.
1413
01:07:40,944 --> 01:07:42,766
That's when I finished my Girl Scouts.
1414
01:07:44,945 --> 01:07:46,439
All right. How many cookies do we got left?
1415
01:07:47,152 --> 01:07:48,363
Maybe about forty!
1416
01:07:48,848 --> 01:07:51,020
What do you think, 40 feet for 40 cookies?
1417
01:07:51,088 --> 01:07:52,747
Can you handle that? You need a Little rest?
1418
01:07:52,817 --> 01:07:53,864
Let's do this.
1419
01:07:54,128 --> 01:07:56,846
Really? Okay, he's ready!
He's ready to rock!
1420
01:07:56,945 --> 01:07:58,188
Almost.
1421
01:07:58,513 --> 01:07:59,528
What? No.
1422
01:07:59,697 --> 01:08:03,342
Oh, my!
Ladies and gentlemen, off come the floaties!
1423
01:08:03,634 --> 01:08:05,259
This is getting serious!
1424
01:08:05,329 --> 01:08:06,442
Are you sure about this, Michael?
1425
01:08:06,705 --> 01:08:08,200
- Hell, yeah.
- All right.
1426
01:08:08,305 --> 01:08:10,248
No matter what, you're a good man, okay?
1427
01:08:10,706 --> 01:08:12,528
Keep kicking. I'm here if you need me.
1428
01:08:12,626 --> 01:08:13,608
You got this.
1429
01:08:13,714 --> 01:08:15,175
- Go!
- Go, Michael!
1430
01:08:15,377 --> 01:08:16,752
- Go! Breathe!
- Yeah!
1431
01:08:17,138 --> 01:08:18,348
- Kick it!
- Go!
1432
01:08:18,418 --> 01:08:19,824
- Move your arms!
- Yeah!
1433
01:08:21,393 --> 01:08:22,987
He doesn't have floaties on!
1434
01:08:23,378 --> 01:08:24,589
Oh, my God!
1435
01:08:24,818 --> 01:08:25,964
Get the cookies!
1436
01:08:26,290 --> 01:08:28,810
Come on, sweetheart! You've got it!
A Little bit more, Little bit more.
1437
01:08:31,635 --> 01:08:33,391
- Swim! Swim!
- Oh, my God!
1438
01:08:33,459 --> 01:08:34,769
- Come on!
- Just a Little bit more!
1439
01:08:36,115 --> 01:08:37,576
Keep going, Michael! Don't give up!
1440
01:08:43,859 --> 01:08:44,972
Very nice!
1441
01:08:45,171 --> 01:08:47,790
That's my boy! Yeah, buddy!
1442
01:08:47,860 --> 01:08:50,097
I did it! I did it!
1443
01:08:50,291 --> 01:08:51,305
Thank you!
1444
01:08:51,476 --> 01:08:52,937
No way, that was you, buddy.
1445
01:08:53,108 --> 01:08:55,410
That was awesome. Way to go!
1446
01:09:03,348 --> 01:09:04,624
What are we looking at?
1447
01:09:04,852 --> 01:09:06,575
Jeez. Oh, God. Devlin.
1448
01:09:08,340 --> 01:09:11,187
Devlin. Oh, God. You snuck up on me.
1449
01:09:11,412 --> 01:09:12,753
- Did I?
- Yes.
1450
01:09:13,077 --> 01:09:15,565
Do you startle easily?
That's a sign of menopause.
1451
01:09:16,533 --> 01:09:18,027
Devlin?
1452
01:09:18,101 --> 01:09:20,206
Palmer Dodge, this is Devlin.
1453
01:09:20,309 --> 01:09:22,250
She and I went to college together.
1454
01:09:22,932 --> 01:09:25,234
- This is Palmer Dodge.
- Aloha, Palmer.
1455
01:09:25,590 --> 01:09:27,050
Is this your daughter?
1456
01:09:27,989 --> 01:09:30,739
No, no, no. I'm actually the girlfriend.
1457
01:09:30,838 --> 01:09:31,852
Whose girlfriend?
1458
01:09:31,958 --> 01:09:33,234
Yes, hi.
1459
01:09:34,421 --> 01:09:37,488
I am the Dolph. Willkommen.
And you're very beautiful.
1460
01:09:37,590 --> 01:09:39,662
Married, flattered. Thanks. Where's Danny?
1461
01:09:39,894 --> 01:09:43,243
Danny is in the water
teaching our Little boy how to swim.
1462
01:09:43,349 --> 01:09:44,429
Hi, Doctor!
1463
01:09:45,462 --> 01:09:46,445
He was so sweet.
1464
01:09:46,550 --> 01:09:48,655
You know what's so crazy
is that I have never met anybody
1465
01:09:48,758 --> 01:09:50,067
with the first name Devlin before.
1466
01:09:50,134 --> 01:09:52,687
You know, and here you are,
and your name's Devlin and...
1467
01:09:52,823 --> 01:09:54,099
Shark attack!
1468
01:09:55,511 --> 01:09:58,031
We are playing Bavarian pool rugby
and now I'm in the lead.
1469
01:09:58,199 --> 01:09:59,344
Okay, bye!
1470
01:10:01,111 --> 01:10:03,533
She's trying to beat me, but she won't.
1471
01:10:03,895 --> 01:10:04,975
No one can!
1472
01:10:05,623 --> 01:10:06,671
This is fun!
1473
01:10:06,839 --> 01:10:08,978
Anyway, something's opened up
in our schedule tonight.
1474
01:10:09,079 --> 01:10:11,862
So, we were wondering if you and Danny
were good to go for dinner.
1475
01:10:11,959 --> 01:10:14,130
- Oceano's. Seven o’clock.
- No...
1476
01:10:14,231 --> 01:10:17,298
Oh, no, you don't! She's like a shark.
Come on.
1477
01:10:17,752 --> 01:10:19,475
Is it a bad night? Are you two fighting?
1478
01:10:19,544 --> 01:10:23,221
No! We're not fighting.
No, we just, we're delighting. We're just fine.
1479
01:10:23,320 --> 01:10:25,906
No, that's great. Tonight's gonna happen.
Yeah, perfect.
1480
01:10:25,976 --> 01:10:28,976
- Perfect. Anyway, see you tonight!
- Okay, Devlin.
1481
01:10:29,079 --> 01:10:31,055
Oh, my God! Dolph, let her breathe!
1482
01:10:31,160 --> 01:10:32,305
Yes, I...
1483
01:10:33,465 --> 01:10:34,578
- Dolph!
- What?
1484
01:10:34,681 --> 01:10:35,695
What was that?
1485
01:10:37,624 --> 01:10:39,861
I was... Were you under...
1486
01:10:41,241 --> 01:10:43,346
I don't understand. Why would you say yes?
1487
01:10:43,417 --> 01:10:46,101
Because I didn't know, I didn't say no.
1488
01:10:46,264 --> 01:10:48,752
I'm not leaving here.
What would I tell Palmer?
1489
01:10:55,834 --> 01:10:57,175
What's going on, sweetie?
1490
01:10:57,721 --> 01:11:02,424
So, today, you know, with Dolph pushing me
in the pool. It was weird, right?
1491
01:11:02,905 --> 01:11:05,906
No, no, no. He's a sheepherder.
That's what those guys do, you know?
1492
01:11:05,978 --> 01:11:09,720
They do a lot of horseplay
and that's kind of initiation time for you.
1493
01:11:09,882 --> 01:11:11,344
You're in the gang, I think.
1494
01:11:12,314 --> 01:11:13,809
Okay. Yeah.
1495
01:11:14,427 --> 01:11:16,532
Well, I was thinking for tonight,
1496
01:11:16,698 --> 01:11:20,212
maybe we could have
a Little me and you time?
1497
01:11:23,258 --> 01:11:25,495
I'll get my rubber duck
and see you in a sec.
1498
01:11:26,715 --> 01:11:28,984
Yeah, no, I'm not doing this tonight.
1499
01:11:29,083 --> 01:11:31,090
It's like my first night
alone with the girl.
1500
01:11:31,195 --> 01:11:32,853
AII I'm asking you is one favor!
1501
01:11:33,019 --> 01:11:34,448
Just get this one dinner with me
1502
01:11:34,556 --> 01:11:38,996
so I can save face
with this horrible, heinous human being.
1503
01:11:39,099 --> 01:11:40,212
What am I gonna tell Palmer?
1504
01:11:40,347 --> 01:11:41,492
Would you just put her on the phone?
1505
01:11:46,076 --> 01:11:47,221
Oh, God.
1506
01:11:47,515 --> 01:11:49,304
Tell me she is not listening to 'N Sync.
1507
01:11:49,404 --> 01:11:52,055
No, no, no. It's coming from the elevator.
1508
01:11:52,380 --> 01:11:53,427
Hey!
1509
01:11:53,501 --> 01:11:55,027
Danny, that is my jam.
1510
01:11:55,708 --> 01:11:57,235
Someone on the phone for you.
1511
01:11:57,436 --> 01:11:58,898
- I don't know who.
- Okay.
1512
01:11:59,708 --> 01:12:00,854
Hello?
1513
01:12:01,340 --> 01:12:02,387
What is that?
1514
01:12:02,460 --> 01:12:03,737
- It's Palmer.
- So?
1515
01:12:03,837 --> 01:12:05,495
I need you to get on the phone.
I need you to ask her out.
1516
01:12:05,597 --> 01:12:07,255
I need you to take her as far away
from the hotel for the entire night.
1517
01:12:07,357 --> 01:12:08,436
Would you please just do this for me?
1518
01:12:08,509 --> 01:12:10,549
No, I'm already eating.
I just wanna hang out.
1519
01:12:11,164 --> 01:12:12,758
- Seriously, I need you.
- What are you doing? No.
1520
01:12:12,828 --> 01:12:14,356
My gosh.
1521
01:12:14,428 --> 01:12:16,120
- Take it.
- All right.
1522
01:12:16,957 --> 01:12:18,233
Go for Dolph.
1523
01:12:18,718 --> 01:12:19,798
It's Dolph.
1524
01:12:20,029 --> 01:12:21,110
Okay, I got an idea.
1525
01:12:21,309 --> 01:12:25,717
How about you and me,
we go and get the dinner tonight?
1526
01:12:25,790 --> 01:12:26,838
To supper?
1527
01:12:26,909 --> 01:12:28,120
Tonight?
1528
01:12:28,189 --> 01:12:31,256
Yes, and we get to know each other,
because I think it's important for the kids
1529
01:12:31,357 --> 01:12:34,740
to have good symmetry in the family unit.
1530
01:12:34,845 --> 01:12:36,853
Yeah, hang on. Let me check with Danny.
1531
01:12:37,342 --> 01:12:39,065
Dolph wants to do dinner tonight.
1532
01:12:39,358 --> 01:12:40,820
No. No, no, no.
1533
01:12:40,926 --> 01:12:42,235
All right, tell him yeah.
1534
01:12:44,127 --> 01:12:45,403
Yeah, that's fine.
1535
01:12:46,207 --> 01:12:48,312
Awesome. Thank you so much.
1536
01:12:48,831 --> 01:12:50,075
What am I supposed to say to her all night?
1537
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:54,873
You spout crazy nonsense for hours
in Eurotrashenese.
1538
01:12:55,039 --> 01:12:57,941
Just do it, but just do it
far away from the hotel.
1539
01:12:58,047 --> 01:13:01,822
Okay, fine, I'll do it, but if I do good,
can I sleep in the bed with you?
1540
01:13:02,431 --> 01:13:05,562
No. Why? You've got a great private room.
1541
01:13:17,632 --> 01:13:19,737
Really?
Because when we were in the Napa Valley,
1542
01:13:19,840 --> 01:13:22,207
they said that wasn't a good time of year
for Merlot.
1543
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:25,499
How about the Verite Cabernet?
1544
01:13:25,952 --> 01:13:29,596
Isn't Cabernet really grapey?
I mean, I like grapey, but not overly grapey.
1545
01:13:29,664 --> 01:13:31,551
Did you go over the index cards?
1546
01:13:31,873 --> 01:13:33,596
I glanced at them, yes.
1547
01:13:33,729 --> 01:13:34,743
You glanced at them?
1548
01:13:34,880 --> 01:13:38,678
I graduated med school
without reading a book. Just relax.
1549
01:13:38,753 --> 01:13:42,528
Just give us the most expensive bottle
you have and it'll probably be good enough.
1550
01:13:42,594 --> 01:13:43,804
Perfect!
1551
01:13:44,129 --> 01:13:45,503
Look at us, Katherine.
1552
01:13:45,601 --> 01:13:47,990
Both so happily married. I mean...
1553
01:13:48,225 --> 01:13:49,752
Can you believe it?
1554
01:13:50,241 --> 01:13:52,281
Everything I always hoped for, right, Yogi?
1555
01:13:52,353 --> 01:13:53,401
Boo-Boo.
1556
01:13:53,473 --> 01:13:55,196
- My Yogi Bear.
- My Boo-Boo.
1557
01:13:57,474 --> 01:13:58,586
Never enough.
1558
01:14:12,355 --> 01:14:13,402
Hold on a second.
1559
01:14:14,403 --> 01:14:16,858
I love the way you smell.
1560
01:14:16,962 --> 01:14:19,384
Nothing smells as good as Devlin.
1561
01:14:19,811 --> 01:14:22,681
Smelling Devlin, always a good thing.
1562
01:14:28,547 --> 01:14:29,889
This is really where we're eating?
1563
01:14:30,147 --> 01:14:33,180
Oh, yes. No, the hotel says
it's amazing und very far away.
1564
01:14:33,283 --> 01:14:34,298
Yeah, it's good.
1565
01:14:35,364 --> 01:14:38,046
I want that car.
I'll give you two chickens for it.
1566
01:14:38,628 --> 01:14:40,865
Two chickens,
that's very nice of you, but...
1567
01:14:40,963 --> 01:14:41,978
Don't be scared.
1568
01:14:42,084 --> 01:14:45,564
We're just here for dinner. Also, this car's
worth about 10,000 chickens.
1569
01:14:46,244 --> 01:14:47,651
Don't pour over me.
1570
01:14:47,876 --> 01:14:48,989
Don't pour over me.
1571
01:14:50,245 --> 01:14:51,902
I'll bring my glass to you.
1572
01:14:52,644 --> 01:14:54,750
So, Danny, you're a plastic surgeon.
1573
01:14:54,853 --> 01:14:55,835
Yes.
1574
01:14:56,324 --> 01:14:57,818
Very convenient for you, Katherine.
1575
01:14:58,148 --> 01:15:01,116
No, this girl’s had nothing done.
She's just a natural beauty.
1576
01:15:01,188 --> 01:15:02,301
- She really is.
- Sweetie.
1577
01:15:02,469 --> 01:15:04,803
What about me?
What would you do to fix me?
1578
01:15:05,509 --> 01:15:06,785
Professionally speaking?
1579
01:15:06,884 --> 01:15:08,445
Nothing. I wouldn’t do a thing to you.
1580
01:15:08,517 --> 01:15:09,597
Nothing?
1581
01:15:09,764 --> 01:15:11,259
You're too sweet.
1582
01:15:11,813 --> 01:15:13,569
They already took too much fat
out of your arms,
1583
01:15:13,637 --> 01:15:14,946
but that's what sleeves are for.
1584
01:15:16,070 --> 01:15:17,826
So, where did you two meet?
1585
01:15:19,077 --> 01:15:21,827
We just, we met at a concert.
1586
01:15:21,926 --> 01:15:23,104
- Sting.
- Yeah.
1587
01:15:23,205 --> 01:15:25,028
Live at the Index Card.
1588
01:15:25,285 --> 01:15:27,653
It was a benefit for the rainforest.
1589
01:15:30,277 --> 01:15:33,180
Someone's on the phone for you.
I think it's the guy from The Omen.
1590
01:15:35,526 --> 01:15:37,185
Go for the iMan.
1591
01:15:38,087 --> 01:15:39,101
Hold on a second.
1592
01:15:39,238 --> 01:15:41,824
Can I say something before you say
what you're gonna say?
1593
01:15:42,310 --> 01:15:45,572
Seeing the man who invented the iPod,
on the iPhone,
1594
01:15:45,638 --> 01:15:47,875
- saying, "Go for the iMan... "
- Yeah.
1595
01:15:47,975 --> 01:15:49,916
...that was like watching Ronald McDonald
1596
01:15:49,991 --> 01:15:51,649
eat a cheeseburger off the Grimace.
1597
01:15:51,719 --> 01:15:53,824
- I'm serious. That was serious stuff.
- It's so true.
1598
01:15:53,926 --> 01:15:57,669
That, to me, was like watching
Dr. Kevorkian kill himself.
1599
01:15:57,767 --> 01:15:58,781
Oh, no.
1600
01:15:58,887 --> 01:16:02,684
I'm sorry. This is one of my foundations.
I've gotta take this.
1601
01:16:03,368 --> 01:16:06,117
Your virtue, your intelligence,
your passion.
1602
01:16:06,280 --> 01:16:10,110
Your beauty, your drive,
and your womanhood.
1603
01:16:16,616 --> 01:16:19,267
It's something we do
whenever the other leaves.
1604
01:16:19,368 --> 01:16:21,409
We say what we love most about the other.
1605
01:16:21,480 --> 01:16:23,074
- That's really nice.
- That's big. I like that.
1606
01:16:23,177 --> 01:16:24,387
You guys should try it.
1607
01:16:24,648 --> 01:16:27,168
- Yes, we should.
- We should. We’ll try that later.
1608
01:16:27,241 --> 01:16:29,029
- We have to.
- Not everyone can do it.
1609
01:16:29,737 --> 01:16:31,166
We’ll do it now.
1610
01:16:31,336 --> 01:16:33,279
- Right now.
- Okay.
1611
01:16:33,577 --> 01:16:38,051
So, broke and penniless,
I took to the streets to sell my wares.
1612
01:16:38,249 --> 01:16:40,322
And by wares, I mean my body.
1613
01:16:40,617 --> 01:16:42,788
And by body, I mean my schnitzel.
1614
01:16:44,201 --> 01:16:46,372
Help! Is there a veterinarian in the house?
1615
01:16:46,442 --> 01:16:48,808
My pet sheep, he passed out.
He's not breathing!
1616
01:16:48,874 --> 01:16:50,151
I don't know what's wrong with him!
1617
01:16:50,634 --> 01:16:53,950
Him! Him!
He's not a vet, but he sells sheep for a living.
1618
01:16:54,794 --> 01:16:56,136
Oh, me, yes.
1619
01:16:56,458 --> 01:16:58,465
I do, yes. I am that.
1620
01:16:58,570 --> 01:16:59,682
Please come this way!
1621
01:17:00,074 --> 01:17:01,121
- Now?
- Yes!
1622
01:17:01,290 --> 01:17:03,527
- This way, this way!
- What is this?
1623
01:17:03,690 --> 01:17:05,480
Is that a real sheep?
1624
01:17:08,363 --> 01:17:09,606
Okay.
1625
01:17:10,571 --> 01:17:11,749
Yes...
1626
01:17:12,875 --> 01:17:14,282
Hello...
1627
01:17:14,443 --> 01:17:15,523
Yes?
1628
01:17:17,802 --> 01:17:21,316
Yes, in my expert opinion,
that sheep is dead.
1629
01:17:21,515 --> 01:17:22,563
I'm very sorry.
1630
01:17:22,731 --> 01:17:24,454
Let's go eat. Okay, show's over. Let's go.
1631
01:17:26,251 --> 01:17:28,488
He's still alive!
Please, you have to do something!
1632
01:17:28,715 --> 01:17:30,439
Oh, shit on me.
1633
01:17:30,955 --> 01:17:35,495
You look each other in the eyes
and you say what you love about the other.
1634
01:17:35,564 --> 01:17:38,563
We can't just say it?
We gotta look at each other for this thing?
1635
01:17:38,636 --> 01:17:40,458
Okay. Yes. We're so ready.
1636
01:17:40,716 --> 01:17:41,828
Are you ready?
1637
01:17:42,093 --> 01:17:43,107
Go ahead.
1638
01:17:43,532 --> 01:17:45,420
- You're on.
- Okay.
1639
01:17:45,485 --> 01:17:46,794
Come on.
1640
01:17:52,397 --> 01:17:53,923
I love your sense of humor.
1641
01:17:53,997 --> 01:17:55,109
You do?
1642
01:17:56,141 --> 01:17:57,418
All of it?
1643
01:17:57,773 --> 01:18:00,074
Every dirty bit of it.
1644
01:18:01,421 --> 01:18:03,810
I love your stories.
1645
01:18:03,885 --> 01:18:06,154
- Yes. They can go long, but...
- It's okay.
1646
01:18:06,317 --> 01:18:08,226
- ... I try to finish strong.
- Always entertaining.
1647
01:18:09,965 --> 01:18:11,558
And I love that you...
1648
01:18:12,333 --> 01:18:14,438
Love that you read the index cards.
1649
01:18:15,373 --> 01:18:16,716
Of course.
1650
01:18:18,286 --> 01:18:20,490
And I love that you secretly
1651
01:18:21,486 --> 01:18:24,203
have a huge heart,
1652
01:18:25,518 --> 01:18:29,741
and it's just filled with kindness
1653
01:18:31,567 --> 01:18:33,323
and humility.
1654
01:18:33,743 --> 01:18:35,020
And blood?
1655
01:18:35,247 --> 01:18:37,320
I'm sure there's blood.
1656
01:18:41,039 --> 01:18:42,730
I don't know, I...
1657
01:18:43,696 --> 01:18:48,365
I just think you're a really nice person
and I really like...
1658
01:18:49,935 --> 01:18:52,205
I really love spending time with you.
1659
01:18:53,615 --> 01:18:56,648
That's good enough for me right there.
Yeah, game over.
1660
01:18:57,583 --> 01:18:59,045
Danny?
1661
01:18:59,343 --> 01:19:01,286
Game back on? We gotta...
1662
01:19:03,088 --> 01:19:05,608
Well, I'd like to start off by saying
1663
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:09,509
that I love the most that
you fixed your teeth.
1664
01:19:10,256 --> 01:19:11,402
Why did I know that...
1665
01:19:11,696 --> 01:19:13,736
They were horrible, I agree.
1666
01:19:15,088 --> 01:19:16,201
No, no.
1667
01:19:17,649 --> 01:19:19,242
You know what I love?
1668
01:19:19,601 --> 01:19:21,967
How you just do everything
for everybody else
1669
01:19:22,064 --> 01:19:23,691
and you never expect anything back.
1670
01:19:23,920 --> 01:19:27,849
In fact, when I say thank you, I don't know,
do you hear that or not?
1671
01:19:28,657 --> 01:19:29,967
It's cute.
1672
01:19:30,129 --> 01:19:31,558
And I love...
1673
01:19:32,850 --> 01:19:34,126
I just love...
1674
01:19:36,242 --> 01:19:38,892
You're the only person
I've never lied to in my life.
1675
01:19:39,089 --> 01:19:40,650
I swear to God.
1676
01:19:41,809 --> 01:19:44,657
I just trust you
more than anybody in the world.
1677
01:19:45,138 --> 01:19:46,764
You know every secret about me.
1678
01:19:50,609 --> 01:19:52,039
I love your smile.
1679
01:19:52,210 --> 01:19:54,600
That smile is the magic.
1680
01:19:55,250 --> 01:19:57,519
When I'm in the operating room
all I think about is,
1681
01:19:57,682 --> 01:20:01,480
"All right, 20 more minutes,
I get to see the smile. "
1682
01:20:02,003 --> 01:20:03,410
It's just like...
1683
01:20:04,050 --> 01:20:06,768
It starts my day, that smile.
1684
01:20:14,387 --> 01:20:18,064
I won best smile at our sorority
three years straight, right, Katherine?
1685
01:20:19,700 --> 01:20:22,002
Not Little Bucky here.
1686
01:20:26,739 --> 01:20:29,490
Okay, here we go! Hi, yes!
1687
01:20:30,420 --> 01:20:33,769
We do the sheep dance, right?
We want to live and dance more, yes.
1688
01:20:33,941 --> 01:20:38,065
Okay, all right. Here we go. Eat some food.
Eat the food. Come on, here we go.
1689
01:20:38,132 --> 01:20:39,180
Couple more zings.
1690
01:20:39,253 --> 01:20:43,345
Make the milk. Yes, he makes the milk.
You love it. You give milk to the baby.
1691
01:20:43,445 --> 01:20:44,459
All right.
1692
01:20:44,533 --> 01:20:46,289
One, two, three, here we go!
1693
01:20:47,189 --> 01:20:48,400
Come on!
1694
01:20:48,629 --> 01:20:50,701
We got a couple things
that I know how to do!
1695
01:20:51,382 --> 01:20:53,323
Yes, this is a good test, so why not?
1696
01:20:54,133 --> 01:20:55,988
All right. Here we go.
1697
01:20:58,005 --> 01:20:59,412
You're killing him!
1698
01:21:08,502 --> 01:21:11,120
The sheep lives! The sheep lives!
1699
01:21:11,222 --> 01:21:14,288
Yes! Here we go, one more time.
Here we go. Yes!
1700
01:21:15,094 --> 01:21:17,526
This is what I did. You saw this. Yes!
1701
01:21:17,559 --> 01:21:19,436
Welcome. I am Tanner Patrick, Jr.
1702
01:21:19,542 --> 01:21:23,852
We're ready for the legendary
Oceano's Hula Competition.
1703
01:21:24,150 --> 01:21:25,427
Legendary? Never heard of it!
1704
01:21:27,223 --> 01:21:29,939
Legendary like the day you were once sober.
So...
1705
01:21:31,222 --> 01:21:33,295
She talks the talk, who will walk the walk
1706
01:21:33,463 --> 01:21:36,082
and walk with me to the Ladies' Lounge?
Feeling it...
1707
01:21:36,183 --> 01:21:38,070
I think you should do it, Devlin.
1708
01:21:38,167 --> 01:21:39,597
Because she would win.
1709
01:21:42,104 --> 01:21:44,013
- I'll do it!
- Good show!
1710
01:21:44,087 --> 01:21:46,127
Katherine? How about you?
1711
01:21:46,295 --> 01:21:48,881
Come on, this isn't Katherine's thing.
Right, Katherine?
1712
01:21:49,048 --> 01:21:50,607
No, no, not my...
1713
01:21:50,776 --> 01:21:52,564
Her speed. Not mine.
1714
01:21:52,887 --> 01:21:56,236
Some people are just more comfortable
on the sidelines, so don't judge her, honey.
1715
01:21:56,856 --> 01:21:59,574
Your honesty, your fearlessness,
and your tickle spot.
1716
01:21:59,736 --> 01:22:02,638
Your creativity, your bravery,
and your taffy nipples.
1717
01:22:04,024 --> 01:22:05,966
Let's go! How do I win this thing?
1718
01:22:06,776 --> 01:22:07,986
I'm gonna do this hula thing.
1719
01:22:08,248 --> 01:22:09,623
Don't feel any pressure, Katherine.
1720
01:22:09,816 --> 01:22:11,889
I'm not the one who
should feel the pressure.
1721
01:22:14,585 --> 01:22:18,961
Ladies and gentlemen,
a warm welcome for tonight's hula girls.
1722
01:22:23,353 --> 01:22:25,525
These are my stars. And here's the key,
1723
01:22:25,625 --> 01:22:27,927
you decide how brightly they shine tonight.
1724
01:22:28,090 --> 01:22:31,570
You the audience, judge and jury.
I like what I see.
1725
01:22:34,298 --> 01:22:36,687
This is my hula palooza.
1726
01:22:37,274 --> 01:22:41,944
You're the judges.
You're voting for your favorite hula girl.
1727
01:22:42,714 --> 01:22:43,826
How about we do one over here?
1728
01:22:44,025 --> 01:22:46,164
Can I get a Little something-something
up here in the corner?
1729
01:22:48,507 --> 01:22:50,395
Has anybody got a conscience here tonight?
1730
01:22:50,459 --> 01:22:52,215
Come on, you did well. You did well.
1731
01:22:54,138 --> 01:22:55,185
It's tough.
1732
01:22:55,579 --> 01:22:57,172
What do I got over here? Anybody?
1733
01:22:57,978 --> 01:23:00,083
How tall do you think that guy is?
1734
01:23:00,411 --> 01:23:02,004
Who? The Tanner guy? I don't know.
1735
01:23:02,171 --> 01:23:04,888
Yeah, that Tanner.
Looks pretty tall, I'd say he's like 6'3".
1736
01:23:05,051 --> 01:23:06,098
Yeah, I don't know.
1737
01:23:06,267 --> 01:23:07,991
Can I get a positive reaction?
1738
01:23:09,499 --> 01:23:10,644
Thank you.
1739
01:23:11,291 --> 01:23:13,365
How about this Little girl?
Let's make her night.
1740
01:23:13,531 --> 01:23:14,905
How about it?
1741
01:23:15,068 --> 01:23:18,646
I like it. Keep the mojo going.
How about Big Country in the corner?
1742
01:23:18,812 --> 01:23:20,023
Do I got...
1743
01:23:21,756 --> 01:23:22,738
Sorry.
1744
01:23:22,813 --> 01:23:24,089
This is fixed!
1745
01:23:24,860 --> 01:23:26,933
Tall fellow is lucky to get away.
1746
01:23:27,420 --> 01:23:29,329
Let's pick up the tempo, boys.
1747
01:23:29,500 --> 01:23:30,776
What? What is that?
1748
01:23:34,300 --> 01:23:36,209
Okay. This is a lot faster.
1749
01:24:08,191 --> 01:24:09,336
Fabulous!
1750
01:24:20,383 --> 01:24:21,942
Yeah, baby!
1751
01:24:38,975 --> 01:24:40,088
What?
1752
01:24:41,663 --> 01:24:42,743
Come on.
1753
01:24:57,761 --> 01:24:59,452
Nobody got cheated here tonight.
1754
01:24:59,553 --> 01:25:02,869
These are two of the hottest chicks
we have ever had up here.
1755
01:25:02,945 --> 01:25:07,996
But our job is not done.
I need your help, because I need a winner.
1756
01:25:08,065 --> 01:25:09,113
Let me hear you.
1757
01:25:10,593 --> 01:25:11,903
Beautiful!
1758
01:25:12,545 --> 01:25:15,677
Wow, that is gonna be tough to beat.
Let's not kid anybody.
1759
01:25:15,745 --> 01:25:16,990
How about over here?
1760
01:25:19,874 --> 01:25:22,459
There you have it. We have ourselves...
1761
01:25:23,426 --> 01:25:25,335
That's my Boo-Boo!
1762
01:25:26,594 --> 01:25:28,831
A tie! We have ourselves a tie.
1763
01:25:28,993 --> 01:25:31,099
That's great. We both win. Good...
1764
01:25:31,394 --> 01:25:32,670
What's the tiebreaker?
1765
01:25:33,794 --> 01:25:35,703
What's the tiebreaker?
1766
01:25:37,666 --> 01:25:39,772
This is how we settle ties in my house.
1767
01:25:39,874 --> 01:25:41,848
It's something I like to call
Coconut Smoochie.
1768
01:25:41,955 --> 01:25:45,369
The object of the game is,
the coconut is in their midsections.
1769
01:25:45,475 --> 01:25:48,322
It must move all the way up to their mouths
without the use of their hands.
1770
01:25:48,387 --> 01:25:49,434
Focus, focus.
1771
01:25:49,506 --> 01:25:52,855
If you touch the coconut,
you are disqualified.
1772
01:25:53,027 --> 01:25:56,508
Okay. Ready? One, two, three, get coconutty!
1773
01:25:56,675 --> 01:25:58,431
Okay. Slow.
1774
01:26:00,675 --> 01:26:02,497
Okay, all right. Calm down, calm down.
1775
01:26:02,660 --> 01:26:04,699
- Let me just bring it up to you.
- Okay, do it.
1776
01:26:05,219 --> 01:26:07,074
Get it up there. Come on.
1777
01:26:07,236 --> 01:26:08,545
Bring your coconuts down to me.
1778
01:26:08,707 --> 01:26:09,984
Okay. Oh, my coconuts.
1779
01:26:10,147 --> 01:26:11,708
- Pull up. All right.
- I'm so low.
1780
01:26:11,876 --> 01:26:14,145
Squeeze your coconuts. Squeeze them.
1781
01:26:14,308 --> 01:26:17,156
Use every crevice you can. Don't be afraid.
1782
01:26:17,316 --> 01:26:20,033
- I can't get it up here.
- I'm trying.
1783
01:26:20,388 --> 01:26:21,949
Would you be quiet?
1784
01:26:22,245 --> 01:26:23,935
- Stay there.
- Wait.
1785
01:26:24,036 --> 01:26:26,076
- Okay, that's good.
- Is that good?
1786
01:26:26,469 --> 01:26:27,679
Sorry about this, by the way.
1787
01:26:27,749 --> 01:26:29,025
Really? You're really sorry about this?
1788
01:26:29,188 --> 01:26:30,465
No, I'm not. I like it.
1789
01:26:32,228 --> 01:26:33,309
Yeah!
1790
01:26:33,477 --> 01:26:36,346
Pick it up, pick it up!
Not with your hands, you buffoon!
1791
01:26:36,517 --> 01:26:37,499
Come on!
1792
01:26:37,669 --> 01:26:39,098
- Look what he's doing!
- What happened?
1793
01:26:39,269 --> 01:26:40,382
I can't see.
1794
01:26:40,548 --> 01:26:43,232
Focus. Take it slow, take it slow.
1795
01:26:43,398 --> 01:26:44,859
He's got it!
1796
01:26:46,950 --> 01:26:49,154
That's not fair. He can't do that.
1797
01:26:49,318 --> 01:26:50,976
No, that's a clean pick-up right there.
1798
01:26:51,142 --> 01:26:52,800
Okay. Bring it over here.
1799
01:26:53,702 --> 01:26:55,393
Go! Go! Go!
1800
01:26:55,909 --> 01:26:57,154
I got it.
1801
01:27:00,710 --> 01:27:02,138
There's still time. Let's go.
1802
01:27:02,311 --> 01:27:05,181
You can touch each other,
you cannot touch the coconut.
1803
01:27:05,350 --> 01:27:06,463
Hang on, hang on.
1804
01:27:07,590 --> 01:27:09,477
- What's going on?
- What is that? What do you use?
1805
01:27:09,639 --> 01:27:11,614
- What's the hold-up?
- You still got that perfume on, huh?
1806
01:27:11,718 --> 01:27:13,889
- Would you stop it?
- Smells good. Come on, let's go.
1807
01:27:13,990 --> 01:27:15,899
Have you got it to your mouth yet, Boo-Boo?
1808
01:27:16,071 --> 01:27:19,453
Stop putting your ass in my face.
1809
01:27:19,623 --> 01:27:21,957
- I like it.
- That's my girl. Okay.
1810
01:27:24,871 --> 01:27:27,871
We've got a winner! We have a winner!
We have a winner.
1811
01:27:28,551 --> 01:27:31,104
Coconut Smoochie champions right here.
1812
01:27:32,103 --> 01:27:33,151
Awesome.
1813
01:27:33,223 --> 01:27:35,111
You suck at everything!
1814
01:27:36,360 --> 01:27:37,472
Boo-Boo.
1815
01:27:37,832 --> 01:27:40,450
Great teamwork, guys.
How long have you two been married?
1816
01:27:40,552 --> 01:27:42,210
- Eight years.
- Ten years.
1817
01:27:42,312 --> 01:27:43,653
- Ten years.
- Eight.
1818
01:27:43,751 --> 01:27:45,378
- Very long time.
- A very long time.
1819
01:27:45,672 --> 01:27:47,711
- Did you see the look on her face?
- Yes.
1820
01:27:47,785 --> 01:27:49,857
Do you understand
what joy that brought me?
1821
01:27:49,961 --> 01:27:52,514
How about the look on her face
when you were doing the juggling, though?
1822
01:27:52,585 --> 01:27:55,335
- The juggling was the highlight for me.
- That was pretty good. You liked that?
1823
01:27:55,432 --> 01:27:56,447
It was so cute.
1824
01:27:56,553 --> 01:27:58,691
And when you talked
about her arms getting done?
1825
01:27:58,793 --> 01:28:01,662
The good news is she's beating the hell
out of the iPod guy right now.
1826
01:28:01,834 --> 01:28:02,816
Right now, I know.
1827
01:28:04,233 --> 01:28:06,273
That was good. That was really fun.
1828
01:28:06,473 --> 01:28:10,303
You know what, I think that was the first time
that you and I have ever
1829
01:28:11,401 --> 01:28:14,468
gone out, you know, just us.
1830
01:28:14,633 --> 01:28:17,503
I know. I do.
I feel bad for the Soul Patch now.
1831
01:28:18,154 --> 01:28:19,169
I do.
1832
01:28:19,273 --> 01:28:20,681
Now that you've been out with a real man.
1833
01:28:20,841 --> 01:28:23,558
And by a real man,
I mean a man who showers.
1834
01:28:25,226 --> 01:28:30,278
I think it's so adorable
how obsessed you are with this guy.
1835
01:28:30,346 --> 01:28:32,451
I just can't picture you guys on a date,
you know what I mean?
1836
01:28:32,682 --> 01:28:34,275
Who said it was a date ever?
1837
01:28:34,474 --> 01:28:35,751
- You.
- You.
1838
01:28:35,915 --> 01:28:37,954
You get very excited
when you talk to this man.
1839
01:28:38,059 --> 01:28:41,856
Listen, Dr. Gervitz is moving his practice
to New York City.
1840
01:28:41,962 --> 01:28:42,944
Yeah.
1841
01:28:43,019 --> 01:28:45,474
Brian is not gonna go with him, and he...
1842
01:28:45,707 --> 01:28:48,227
He's just been asking me if
1843
01:28:49,067 --> 01:28:52,068
I would want to, you know, replace him.
1844
01:28:52,587 --> 01:28:53,831
You're going?
1845
01:28:54,476 --> 01:28:55,588
No.
1846
01:28:55,948 --> 01:28:57,322
You can't do that to me.
1847
01:28:57,483 --> 01:29:01,674
I just wanted to see how you'd react.
Look at you. You can't live without me.
1848
01:29:01,835 --> 01:29:04,519
"What do I do? How do I sign it?
How do I pay for it?"
1849
01:29:04,588 --> 01:29:07,305
No. You kind of played with me
a Little bit, though.
1850
01:29:07,436 --> 01:29:09,989
You could’ve told me that earlier.
1851
01:29:10,060 --> 01:29:13,224
You're just messing with me?
Trying to get me a Little jealous, weren't you?
1852
01:29:13,325 --> 01:29:16,074
No. I just was having fun teasing you.
1853
01:29:16,236 --> 01:29:18,604
That was fun. Why? Were you jealous?
1854
01:29:19,085 --> 01:29:22,282
No. Get outta here. Was I jealous? No.
1855
01:29:22,348 --> 01:29:25,895
Look at you. You're grinning, you can't stop,
what is that smile?
1856
01:29:25,997 --> 01:29:27,403
I didn't know you had that many teeth.
1857
01:29:27,565 --> 01:29:30,118
I know. I got like 55 teeth.
1858
01:29:32,525 --> 01:29:33,900
No. So there's nothing?
1859
01:29:34,156 --> 01:29:36,230
You and... There's nothing?
1860
01:29:36,557 --> 01:29:37,670
No love connection?
1861
01:29:37,838 --> 01:29:39,976
No. Nothing.
1862
01:29:40,077 --> 01:29:42,019
Well, then, that's a shame.
1863
01:29:42,222 --> 01:29:43,237
What?
1864
01:29:43,757 --> 01:29:46,179
That coconut getting in the way tonight.
1865
01:29:46,349 --> 01:29:47,560
That's a shame, don't you think?
1866
01:29:47,725 --> 01:29:49,220
- No.
- No, that was bad.
1867
01:29:49,389 --> 01:29:51,593
The coconut.
You're lucky that coconut was there.
1868
01:29:51,758 --> 01:29:54,605
You couldn’t...
You wouldn’t have been able to handle it.
1869
01:29:54,958 --> 01:29:56,387
Maybe you're right.
1870
01:29:59,311 --> 01:30:01,961
You got more tricks that I don't know about?
1871
01:30:02,127 --> 01:30:04,396
- I don't know.
- Okay.
1872
01:30:04,590 --> 01:30:06,696
I don't know anything.
1873
01:30:07,406 --> 01:30:08,389
- Mommy?
- Mommy?
1874
01:30:10,190 --> 01:30:13,486
Hi, guys!
Hey! What're you doing?
1875
01:30:13,679 --> 01:30:16,548
- The babysitter fell asleep.
- Great.
1876
01:30:16,719 --> 01:30:19,436
I mean, come on,
it's like a Hawaiian Rosa, huh?
1877
01:30:20,239 --> 01:30:21,516
- Is it?
- Oh, my God.
1878
01:30:21,679 --> 01:30:23,785
- Yeah, that's asleep.
- Look at that.
1879
01:30:28,208 --> 01:30:29,997
- Wow.
- She's out deep.
1880
01:30:30,159 --> 01:30:31,567
All right. Good to see you guys.
1881
01:30:31,728 --> 01:30:33,070
Good night.
1882
01:30:33,328 --> 01:30:35,467
Good job. One more day of lying, guys.
1883
01:30:35,568 --> 01:30:37,356
We're almost done. Home stretch.
1884
01:30:37,520 --> 01:30:40,105
All right. So, you gotta go to sleep.
1885
01:30:40,688 --> 01:30:41,703
Yeah.
1886
01:30:41,809 --> 01:30:43,565
- Tired?
- Yes. Good night.
1887
01:30:43,728 --> 01:30:45,355
- Okay. That was fun.
- Good job.
1888
01:30:47,313 --> 01:30:48,742
- Good night.
- Good night.
1889
01:30:49,072 --> 01:30:50,633
- Good night.
- All right.
1890
01:30:50,801 --> 01:30:51,783
Okay, Danny.
1891
01:30:52,400 --> 01:30:54,310
Okay, good luck.
I'll see you in the morning.
1892
01:31:15,730 --> 01:31:17,802
She ain't going to sleep.
1893
01:31:27,731 --> 01:31:30,633
Hello! There he is, Danny!
1894
01:31:30,803 --> 01:31:31,916
It's nice to meet you.
1895
01:31:32,083 --> 01:31:34,222
- Where were you going?
- What?
1896
01:31:34,323 --> 01:31:36,111
I was going... I was going to...
1897
01:31:36,276 --> 01:31:38,479
Where were you guys?
I was looking for you guys at...
1898
01:31:38,643 --> 01:31:40,072
What happened? How was the dinner?
1899
01:31:41,203 --> 01:31:44,552
Dolph gave mouth-to-mouth to a sheep.
1900
01:31:44,723 --> 01:31:46,130
Yeah. And then we had a few drinks.
1901
01:31:46,291 --> 01:31:50,186
Yes.
It was choking and so I gave him sheep-P-R.
1902
01:31:51,892 --> 01:31:54,477
But he was the black sheep of the family,
1903
01:31:54,644 --> 01:31:58,473
but he was also white,
if that makes any sense.
1904
01:31:59,252 --> 01:32:03,508
And we've been talking about how amazing
this trip has been and how amazing you are.
1905
01:32:03,604 --> 01:32:06,834
Yeah, all joking aside,
it really has been first-class.
1906
01:32:06,996 --> 01:32:09,866
And that, if the kids and I
hadn't kept you so busy,
1907
01:32:10,036 --> 01:32:11,945
that you might've had the time
to do something
1908
01:32:12,053 --> 01:32:13,711
you've been thinking about doing?
1909
01:32:13,876 --> 01:32:15,786
The one ringy-dingy?
1910
01:32:17,045 --> 01:32:18,933
Yeah, you told her about that?
1911
01:32:19,284 --> 01:32:21,805
I don't need you to get me a ring, Danny.
1912
01:32:21,877 --> 01:32:24,114
Let's just get married. Right here.
1913
01:32:24,597 --> 01:32:25,644
What now?
1914
01:32:25,717 --> 01:32:29,329
Why not? We're in Hawaii.
Let's do it tomorrow.
1915
01:32:29,749 --> 01:32:32,269
I mean, this has felt special
from the moment that we met.
1916
01:32:32,373 --> 01:32:34,228
And I've seen the way that you are
with the kids,
1917
01:32:34,325 --> 01:32:36,878
and it's exactly the way I always imagined
my husband would be.
1918
01:32:37,046 --> 01:32:38,834
Oh, man...
1919
01:32:39,158 --> 01:32:42,802
I don't wanna wait.
I just wanna start my life with you.
1920
01:32:46,198 --> 01:32:47,310
Hi!
1921
01:32:49,686 --> 01:32:51,574
Hi, everybody!
1922
01:32:51,671 --> 01:32:52,783
Dolph.
1923
01:32:53,206 --> 01:32:56,305
There you are.
I have been looking everywhere for you.
1924
01:32:56,471 --> 01:32:59,886
- For me?
- Yes. Come here. Come on, let's go.
1925
01:32:59,958 --> 01:33:01,966
- No way, we can't go.
- What?
1926
01:33:02,038 --> 01:33:03,565
My Little Oompa Loompa.
1927
01:33:03,927 --> 01:33:05,520
Danny and Palmer,
1928
01:33:05,687 --> 01:33:08,534
they're getting married tomorrow!
1929
01:33:09,719 --> 01:33:12,589
- What?
- No, no, I mean, why?
1930
01:33:12,695 --> 01:33:14,767
Yeah, we are. But what do you think?
1931
01:33:14,936 --> 01:33:16,692
What do you mean, what do I think?
1932
01:33:17,015 --> 01:33:21,271
I mean, what does it matter what I think?
I think that's great.
1933
01:33:21,368 --> 01:33:22,928
Thank you, Devlin.
1934
01:33:23,256 --> 01:33:24,914
I really hope that you
can be there tomorrow.
1935
01:33:25,368 --> 01:33:26,448
I can't.
1936
01:33:26,616 --> 01:33:31,122
It's really...
It's bad luck for the ex to be at the wedding.
1937
01:33:31,288 --> 01:33:32,368
Come on, Dolph. Let's go.
1938
01:33:33,016 --> 01:33:34,390
Where are we going? They are here.
1939
01:33:34,488 --> 01:33:35,601
We gotta have the sweet sex.
1940
01:33:35,768 --> 01:33:37,045
- What?
- Okay? Come on.
1941
01:33:37,208 --> 01:33:39,761
Okay. Congratulations, though.
1942
01:33:56,441 --> 01:33:58,002
I'm trying them on as we speak.
1943
01:33:58,169 --> 01:33:59,314
I know, but I just bought them.
1944
01:33:59,481 --> 01:34:03,126
I had some with me
and the one I have on is pretty amazing.
1945
01:35:07,485 --> 01:35:09,558
Michael!
1946
01:35:11,933 --> 01:35:13,209
Nincompoop!
1947
01:35:14,620 --> 01:35:16,246
Nincompoopenschtic!
1948
01:35:16,413 --> 01:35:18,966
Michael, the crap is the stinking...
1949
01:35:34,142 --> 01:35:37,110
- Hello?
- Hey, you up?
1950
01:35:37,599 --> 01:35:41,177
Hi. Yeah. Glad you called.
1951
01:35:42,303 --> 01:35:43,448
Are you?
1952
01:35:45,439 --> 01:35:48,156
Yeah, I was just checking flights
1953
01:35:48,319 --> 01:35:51,615
for your parents tomorrow and I found...
1954
01:35:51,774 --> 01:35:54,076
No, no, no. You don't have to do that.
1955
01:35:54,623 --> 01:35:58,650
Her parents aren't coming in
and she wants it to be kind of elope-y.
1956
01:35:59,263 --> 01:36:00,572
Elope-y.
1957
01:36:01,215 --> 01:36:02,328
Got it.
1958
01:36:02,399 --> 01:36:06,294
Okay, so, are you all set
for what you need to wear tomorrow?
1959
01:36:06,943 --> 01:36:09,432
Do you think this is a good idea?
1960
01:36:10,144 --> 01:36:11,999
What? The wedding?
1961
01:36:12,416 --> 01:36:16,246
Yeah, the wedding...
Just the whole Palmer thing.
1962
01:36:18,816 --> 01:36:22,013
Well, that's why we came out here, right?
1963
01:36:22,656 --> 01:36:24,085
I guess.
1964
01:36:25,185 --> 01:36:26,646
You don't think it's crazy?
1965
01:36:31,424 --> 01:36:34,653
Danny, you don't need my permission.
1966
01:36:36,065 --> 01:36:37,975
Okay? You're a big boy.
1967
01:36:38,144 --> 01:36:39,606
I know, I just...
1968
01:36:43,617 --> 01:36:45,919
I know if I do this that...
1969
01:36:46,817 --> 01:36:52,000
Just, things could get weird
between you and me at the office, so...
1970
01:36:53,025 --> 01:36:55,448
Well, you're not gonna have to worry
about that.
1971
01:36:57,698 --> 01:36:59,453
You going to New York?
1972
01:36:59,618 --> 01:37:02,519
Yeah. I just, you know, I mean...
1973
01:37:03,138 --> 01:37:05,855
As much as I was looking forward to you
1974
01:37:06,658 --> 01:37:08,960
reconstructing my face,
1975
01:37:10,466 --> 01:37:13,217
I really just need to start fresh, you know?
1976
01:37:15,907 --> 01:37:17,662
Hello, are you there?
1977
01:37:18,563 --> 01:37:20,057
You understand?
1978
01:37:21,219 --> 01:37:22,626
I guess.
1979
01:37:24,003 --> 01:37:26,818
It's an awful lot of guessing
coming through this phone.
1980
01:37:28,260 --> 01:37:31,937
I've been divorced, I have two kids,
I don't have time for guessing.
1981
01:37:36,580 --> 01:37:38,074
Got a big day tomorrow, Doc, all right?
1982
01:37:38,179 --> 01:37:40,961
So why don't you just
get yourself some sleep?
1983
01:37:54,820 --> 01:37:56,860
So that's it.
You have nothing else to worry about.
1984
01:37:57,028 --> 01:37:58,970
We have the flowers,
the music and the location,
1985
01:37:59,141 --> 01:38:01,279
which is ha-wowie, by the way,
you're gonna love it.
1986
01:38:01,445 --> 01:38:03,485
I promise you it is going to be
1987
01:38:03,588 --> 01:38:06,403
the most wonderful day of your life,
guaranteed.
1988
01:38:06,628 --> 01:38:08,319
- Devlin.
- Yeah.
1989
01:38:08,421 --> 01:38:09,599
Palmer! I didn't...
1990
01:38:13,221 --> 01:38:17,280
Well, you just look absolutely beautiful.
1991
01:38:17,862 --> 01:38:19,684
- Really? Thank you.
- Yes.
1992
01:38:20,390 --> 01:38:22,975
- Devlin, can I ask you something?
- 'Course.
1993
01:38:24,230 --> 01:38:26,085
Do you still want to be with Danny?
1994
01:38:27,622 --> 01:38:30,241
- Wait. What?
- Because I think that
1995
01:38:31,942 --> 01:38:35,041
he still may be in love with you.
1996
01:38:36,486 --> 01:38:37,663
Really?
1997
01:38:39,687 --> 01:38:41,694
Why would you think that?
1998
01:38:42,150 --> 01:38:45,020
He's always glowing when you're around.
1999
01:38:45,190 --> 01:38:48,322
And he laughs at your jokes.
He doesn't laugh at mine.
2000
01:38:48,487 --> 01:38:52,710
Palmer, trust me,
there is nothing between me and Danny.
2001
01:38:52,967 --> 01:38:54,657
We're just, you know,
2002
01:38:55,143 --> 01:38:56,387
we're familiar.
2003
01:38:57,767 --> 01:38:59,458
And you are the girl for him.
2004
01:39:00,424 --> 01:39:01,831
He even told me that last night.
2005
01:39:02,471 --> 01:39:05,341
My God, Devlin, this is such a relief
2006
01:39:05,703 --> 01:39:09,184
because I could never stand a chance
going up against you.
2007
01:39:09,352 --> 01:39:11,140
Turn around. Tell me if this fits.
2008
01:39:11,303 --> 01:39:14,403
- Put the hanger up your nose.
- Stop!
2009
01:39:24,969 --> 01:39:26,179
Excuse me.
2010
01:39:26,345 --> 01:39:27,687
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
2011
01:39:27,848 --> 01:39:29,059
Katherine!
2012
01:39:29,289 --> 01:39:30,663
- Katherine!
- Oh, Devlin.
2013
01:39:30,825 --> 01:39:33,508
- That was so much fun last night.
- I know.
2014
01:39:33,865 --> 01:39:36,735
I am still trying to work
out how you cheated.
2015
01:39:37,385 --> 01:39:39,687
I didn't. That's what happened.
2016
01:39:39,913 --> 01:39:42,019
So, where's Danny?
2017
01:39:44,074 --> 01:39:45,219
Devlin...
2018
01:39:45,994 --> 01:39:48,864
Danny's at his wedding.
2019
01:39:49,354 --> 01:39:50,466
Come again?
2020
01:39:50,634 --> 01:39:52,096
I was never married to him.
2021
01:39:53,385 --> 01:39:55,142
All a big lie that I made up.
2022
01:39:55,305 --> 01:39:56,483
Why?
2023
01:39:57,066 --> 01:40:01,507
'Cause I couldn’t stand the thought of you
knowing the truth.
2024
01:40:01,578 --> 01:40:02,626
Really?
2025
01:40:03,115 --> 01:40:05,668
So, yeah, I'm a single mother.
2026
01:40:06,186 --> 01:40:09,056
I have two kids that I love
more than anything in the world.
2027
01:40:09,227 --> 01:40:10,950
I drive a Honda.
2028
01:40:11,115 --> 01:40:12,970
Still have dial-up internet.
2029
01:40:13,547 --> 01:40:17,060
I got a 2.7 GPA in college, not a 3.4.
2030
01:40:17,771 --> 01:40:18,982
And while I'm at it telling the truth,
2031
01:40:19,787 --> 01:40:21,096
I named my kids' poop after you.
2032
01:40:23,147 --> 01:40:26,660
And I work for Danny. I'm his assistant.
That's it.
2033
01:40:27,116 --> 01:40:32,069
Really, I would never have guessed this.
I mean, you two had a real connection.
2034
01:40:33,228 --> 01:40:36,544
He's great. He's the greatest guy.
2035
01:40:38,412 --> 01:40:40,965
And I might even be in love with him, but,
2036
01:40:41,996 --> 01:40:43,851
that doesn't really matter at this moment
2037
01:40:43,949 --> 01:40:48,138
because he is getting married
to another person right now.
2038
01:40:50,348 --> 01:40:52,104
Ian and I are breaking up.
2039
01:40:52,876 --> 01:40:55,943
What? What happened?
2040
01:40:57,229 --> 01:40:59,301
Well, for starters, he's gay.
2041
01:40:59,470 --> 01:41:02,087
- He's gay?
- I mean, look at him.
2042
01:41:02,254 --> 01:41:05,668
That's a strong muscle right there.
I'm squeezing.
2043
01:41:06,190 --> 01:41:10,380
Devlin, I gotta tell you, last night,
with the ass grab of the coconut,
2044
01:41:10,478 --> 01:41:12,388
Little bit of a red flag.
2045
01:41:13,997 --> 01:41:15,940
I've seen him do that with the soap.
2046
01:41:22,414 --> 01:41:23,909
What about the iPod?
2047
01:41:24,078 --> 01:41:26,948
- He didn't invent shit.
- He didn't?
2048
01:41:27,117 --> 01:41:31,690
No! He made his money suing the Dodgers
after he got hit by a foul ball.
2049
01:41:32,975 --> 01:41:36,270
Oh, God! That's so... What?
2050
01:41:37,230 --> 01:41:38,824
Well, this is different.
2051
01:41:39,119 --> 01:41:43,691
Yeah, why didn't we try this
truth-telling thing before?
2052
01:41:44,271 --> 01:41:45,449
I don't know.
2053
01:41:46,479 --> 01:41:48,071
- Hey.
- Hey.
2054
01:41:49,295 --> 01:41:51,434
- What?
- That's nice.
2055
01:41:51,599 --> 01:41:53,704
It's nice to tell the truth. That's good.
2056
01:41:53,872 --> 01:41:55,213
The truth is fun, isn't it?
2057
01:41:55,376 --> 01:41:58,409
Like, were you telling the truth
when you said you might be in love with me?
2058
01:41:59,152 --> 01:42:00,875
- I'm gonna leave you two.
- Okay.
2059
01:42:01,039 --> 01:42:02,829
- I'm gonna go get a divorce.
- Good luck.
2060
01:42:08,112 --> 01:42:10,479
Wait, where are my kids?
2061
01:42:10,961 --> 01:42:13,197
Palmer took them out for ice cream.
2062
01:42:13,937 --> 01:42:16,173
So, how was the wedding?
2063
01:42:16,272 --> 01:42:17,550
Okay. All right.
2064
01:42:17,617 --> 01:42:21,446
So, we're standing
on top of this beautiful cliff.
2065
01:42:21,552 --> 01:42:26,255
I start looking out into the Pacific,
and I think to myself,
2066
01:42:26,353 --> 01:42:30,892
"Wow. I am about to start my life
2067
01:42:31,473 --> 01:42:32,935
"with the one I love. "
2068
01:42:34,673 --> 01:42:38,951
And the only problem was,
the one I love was not with me.
2069
01:42:40,241 --> 01:42:42,510
- She wasn't?
- She was not.
2070
01:42:43,473 --> 01:42:45,197
So you didn't?
2071
01:42:45,362 --> 01:42:47,751
- I couldn’t.
- You couldn’t.
2072
01:42:48,338 --> 01:42:53,870
I mean, don't we have something extra
happening with us?
2073
01:42:55,602 --> 01:42:57,064
Danny, I...
2074
01:42:59,315 --> 01:43:05,610
What happens when we're not on fake-cation
and you wake up and realize this is real?
2075
01:43:05,779 --> 01:43:08,594
You are the only real thing
I've ever had in my life.
2076
01:43:08,755 --> 01:43:10,828
Danny, come on, man. I don't...
2077
01:43:10,995 --> 01:43:13,930
She's beautiful and she's...
I'm not twenty-three.
2078
01:43:15,636 --> 01:43:17,522
I'm not that.
2079
01:43:17,715 --> 01:43:22,189
She's good, she's very nice,
there's only one problem. She's not you.
2080
01:43:22,420 --> 01:43:23,467
She's not you.
2081
01:43:24,436 --> 01:43:26,029
I have two kids.
2082
01:43:26,356 --> 01:43:29,553
I can't just drive them off a cliff.
You know?
2083
01:43:30,003 --> 01:43:33,299
I love those kids more than anything
in the world, Guv'nor.
2084
01:43:34,964 --> 01:43:38,096
No, I wanna be with those guys
like 23 hours a day.
2085
01:43:38,485 --> 01:43:40,240
What about the other hour?
2086
01:43:51,157 --> 01:43:52,434
Good job!
2087
01:43:52,597 --> 01:43:55,466
- That's what I'm talking about.
- Whatever!
2088
01:43:59,957 --> 01:44:03,307
Well, everything turned out pretty good
for everybody.
2089
01:44:03,477 --> 01:44:06,260
Squirt got to swim with the dolphins.
2090
01:44:09,302 --> 01:44:12,466
Palmer met some tennis player her own age
on the plane ride home,
2091
01:44:12,566 --> 01:44:14,835
who's an even bigger fan of 'N Sync.
2092
01:44:16,566 --> 01:44:18,988
And Maggie's about to start
a three-week acting class
2093
01:44:19,062 --> 01:44:21,201
with the actual Dolph Lundgren.
2094
01:44:22,262 --> 01:44:24,117
And what happened for me?
2095
01:44:24,407 --> 01:44:27,473
Well, I'm finally wearing
my wedding ring for real.
2096
01:44:27,639 --> 01:44:29,461
And now when women ask me about it,
2097
01:44:29,623 --> 01:44:32,918
I'm gonna tell them I'm married to a woman
who doesn't beat me,
2098
01:44:33,079 --> 01:44:34,323
doesn't cheat on me,
2099
01:44:34,519 --> 01:44:37,302
doesn't drink...
Well, doesn't drink that much.
2100
01:44:37,399 --> 01:44:40,149
And who I'm gonna spend
the rest of my life with.
2101
01:44:40,247 --> 01:44:42,866
A woman named Katherine.
2102
01:44:42,967 --> 01:44:46,099
Would you like to dance with your wife,
Doctor Maccabee?
2103
01:44:46,359 --> 01:44:48,334
Yes, I would, Mrs. Maccabee.
2104
01:44:48,600 --> 01:44:49,614
Yeah, it's okay.
2105
01:44:51,928 --> 01:44:53,236
One more.
2106
01:44:58,520 --> 01:45:01,238
You were right,
Soul Patch is going hard on that bass.
2107
01:45:01,400 --> 01:45:02,895
What did I tell you?
2108
01:45:06,584 --> 01:45:08,406
- Encore, man. I'm just kidding.
- Stop.
2109
01:45:13,369 --> 01:45:15,475
I get it. It is long and it's gross.
2110
01:45:15,641 --> 01:45:18,194
You don't need wind for that thing
to swing around.