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Because you could've told me.
You just gobbled that shit right up!
I though it was tofu! I had no idea it was... 668
You were like, "Damn, this is some tasty tofu."
Prick.
What else is new?
Just work stuff, really.
Just dealing with Landshark.
That's going well?
Are you happy?
Yeah, of course, I mean...
It must be nice to get to work with Josh, right?
And everything seems like it's going really well.
Do you know, last spring, I was...
I was on a train to Madrid.
And someone left a magazine on the seat.
And I looked over, and there was your face on the cover.
Wired? I hated that picture.
I looked like a total douche bag.
Yeah, you did. You were doing your picture face,
with your lips all pouty. You looked totally gay.
The point is, the article,
I mean, holy shit.
You did it.
All those conversations that we had,
and I remember you saying that there's no second-best
in what you and Josh were planning.
No second-best? I never said that.
I would never say anything that cheesy.
That is exactly what you said,
and you'd totally say something that cheesy.
But that's what I love about you.
You're always with the absolutes.
You did it, Tom. I'm really happy for you.
So come on. Tell me.
Tell me how it feels.
It's not what you think it is, believe me.
Well, tell me what it is then.
Things have changed since that article was written.
Five months ago, when that was written,
Josh and I were, uh...
On March 14th, our combined net worth hit 387 million dollars.
But now, we're, uh,
worth about one one-hundredth of that.
And Landshark has burnt their 95 million dollars in seed money
and made virtually... no revenue to speak of, so...
Basically, we're fucked.
But hey, it was fun while it lasted.
But let's not talk about Landshark.
I'm sure everything’s gonna be fine.
What about you? What have you been working on?
Oh, there's, like, a house, that I designed.
It's in a show and it's opening tomorrow night.
A house?
Yeah, just like a little house.
Sounds great, I love a little house.
It's from last year, it's like drawings and a model.
But I think it came out really well, actually.
I wanna see it.
Tomorrow, five to seven, there's a reception.
Five o'clock. I'll be there.
I should go.
Oh, fuck.
Barton Ogilvy.
Very... particular.
I'm not in position to talk price.
My client would like to discuss it with Mr. Sterling directly.
But I can tell you that they're very interested in hearing your proposal.
They can meet you tomorrow at nine am.
Maybe you want to talk this over and get back to me,
just call my office by lunchtime.
But as I said before,
if you're not prepared to offer seats on the board...
I just want to be clear on that so we're all on the same page.
We're not wasting anyone's time.
We'll be there.
Tomorrow morning, 9 am, we'll be there.
Thank you.
How we doing on that Gulfstream, Dyl?
I'll talk to him.
I'll talk to Josh.
Hey, have you seen my brother?
Have you checked the roof?
No.
Hey, have you seen Josh?
Over there.
Hey, Josh.
Oh, hey, Tom. You just missed your brother.
Did you tell him I wanted to talk to him?
Yeah, I did.
Check that shit out. It's like a big pita.
It's totally absurd though.
Your house is the best one by far.
It blows these other ones away.
I didn't miss it, did I?
It's five to seven. I told you.
I'm just gonna hang out with my friends.
Come on, don't be mad.
I'm not. It's my fault.
I just thought maybe You might have changed.
I was hoping that...
Take care of yourself, Tom. Okay?
Use that. We need to watch out because usually when...
He pees his pants. That's when I peed my pants too.
How's your brother?
Tom? Um, well, he's Tom.
I don't know.
By special messenger.
It weighs a ton.
Whoa.
It's from Tom, Dad.
Go ahead and open it up.
"From your friends at Landshark,
wishing you the gift of enlightenment."
"The gift of enlightenment."
Enlightenment. Hard to beat.
Ohhh.
Hi Tom, how are you feeling?
We're just taking off, so...
You know what, Josh? Why don't you stay
and I'll take Jake.
No, I think we should go home.
No, really, um, help me to the cab.
Alright, everybody.
Okay, well, I guess I'll be back.
Why don't you come over for dinner?
Bye.
I'll get Morela a cab.
Bye.
I said some words.
The last time I was here, I said some words.
And I said them in anger...
and sometimes... anger may not be the best way to say some things.
I think, David, he's apologizing to you.
I'd need my decoder ring to figure that one out.
Cut him some slack.
You want the words?
I'm sorry, I apologize, my bad.
Thank you, Tom.
I know how hard that was for you.
And I just want to say that...
It's okay, Mom, it's okay. It's okay.
Oh! I also want to say, "Thank you."
Thank you for the, um...
Crate!
The crate and what was in it.
I'm glad y'all liked it.
How big is it, Dad?
There it is.
Is it this big? Yay big?
Like... 18 inches?
Yeah, like a foot and a half.
Okay, so not three feet.
Not three feet!
Where would we put a three-foot Buddha?
Exactly.
No, see, that's not my point.
That's beside the fucking point! You see?
The point is that Tom doesn't give presents, okay?
Everybody gives presents. Tom doesn't 'cause it's so crass,
it's so, uh, it's so third quarter 99.
Right? So Tom, instead of giving presents
to celebrate Landshark, to celebrate coming out of lockup,
he gives you...
But of course, Tom being Tom, there's gotta be an order,
you know, a hierarchy of some sort, because
how do you know you're in if there's no out? Right?
So, A-list Buddha, and B-list Buddha.
Am I right, Tom?
Anyway, who are you guys?
Oh, just his mom, just his dad.
So, B-list.
I should go.
Joshua, can I give you a lift?
Oh, I'll get a cab.
Come on, let's take a walk.
Come on, Josh.
What do you want?
I don't want anything.
Well, what are we doing?
Why are we here? What is this?
A conversation.
Down a road and at the end of that road...
Joshua, will you turn all your shares over to me?
Just for a day, just for a week.
Just sign this piece of paper...
and everything will be cool, bro, you said.
I just want to talk, Josh. I just want to hang.
You understand the position I'm in, right?
I'm in the same position.
Not really!
See, for you this is all... a game, or something.
But for me, it's different because I've got Mo and Jake to think about.
I can't afford to be cavalier.
I've got a fucking baby! I just bought an apartment!
I've got a mortgage to pay. I know that all seems square to you,
but it's my fucking life!
Look, what you said at that e-Symposium about me,
and about what I do, it was really sweet, Tom, it really was.
But we had a deal!
I do my thing, you do yours, right?
Well, I did my thing. And you? I don't know.
I mean, you talk a good game.
You... you understand money.
You understand business a whole lot better than I do
but where's it gotten you? Where's it gotten us?
I trusted you, Tom!
It doesn't work, Josh.
What do you mean?
Landshark. As a business model...
it doesn't work.
What are you talking about?
The numbers don't add up.
At least not the way we expected them to.
Oh, fuck you! You're so full of shit!
I know what you think of me, Joshua.
I know that you think that I'm taking advantage of you.
I know that you don't respect me.
But you tell me, you tell me
how what you do, what Landshark does
could possibly make money as a business right now.
You could say whatever you want about me,
but I believed in your idea.
I believed in you!
But the financial projections that we made,
they were like three years off.
The technology isn't there!
So, our market, it doesn't fucking exist!
That's not my fault.
I'm not saying that it is.
It's just the fucking reality of our situation.
We're no different from any of these dot-coms, Josh.
It's all hype. And where the fuck
do you think that hype comes from?
You're right, I spent a lot of money on stupid shit,
but that's what kept us going.
Fumes.
That's what Landshark runs on.
I still believe in Landshark.
And in three, maybe four years,
but we're not gonna last that long.
We're not gonna last three weeks
if we don't make this deal work tomorrow!
And I need your help!
I need your permission.
Josh. Don't leave!
It was just me and Josh.
Still living at home, if you can believe that.
I mean, Josh was.
So we sat down after dinner,
Nancy and David were up at Lincoln Center.
We were like, we can do this.
I mean, I was like, we can do this. Together we can do this.
And Josh just sort of woke up.
Right before my eyes, he just sort of woke up
and he said, "Of course we can."
And so... we get this place on the Bowery
not the new Bowery, it's the old Bowery,
we had rats, big fucking rats
the size of cats, I swear it.
We'd meet our clients out at restaurants,
we couldn't bring them back to the office,
it wasn't an office, not really.
Could we just get a water?
This first guy, his name was Goldblatt,
he was, like, what can you do?
And I was like, 1.0 percent reach,
750,000 uniques.
And he's just, when can you get it up?
And I don't hesitate,
I say, week after next but that's gonna cost you another 25.
I'll squeeze you in before Hardy McNimman.
Of course there was no Hardy McNimman.
Know why people commit to something?
Not because they want to, because ultimately,
nobody wants anything. People commit for one reason
and one reason only.
So some other son of a bitch doesn't get there first.
And that... Hey, it's Banana Republic.
I don't think I like your tone.
I don't think I'm selling it.
It's a little late for a working stiff.
You get pink-slipped?
As a matter of fact I'm with Von Treska,
the number one aggregator...
Way back in May you guys had
what did your press release say? "First mover advantage"
meaning you were the first guys in the niche market
only then came July. It turned out
the niche didn't really exist.
So you did what everybody like you did.
You said, "We're not a niche player, we're B2B."
As if that was gonna save your ass.
How many people did that same exact thing that week?
Fuck you.
It's a lot more fun to make inventory than sell it.
A lot easier too. How much do you guys spend in a month
as opposed to how much comes in?
Or is that old- school accounting?
I said fuck you.
I heard you the first time.
If I wanna say it, I'll say it.
All night if I want to.
Fuck you, fuck you, and fuck you.
Do you know why you're even here?
Because we had a dream.
And you did what guys like you always do.
You smelled the money. You came down. You wanted in.
You wanted to drink the Cru.
Not because you love, not even because you know what you're doing
but because this is where the action is.
No, because somebody told you this is where the action is.
You don't know anything about me.
Guys like you ain't got no vision.
Ain't got no passion. Ain't got no soul.
Hey, let me ask you something.
Do all the flowers and the fancy dinners
make up for the fact that he's never been able to make you come?
Open up, Tom!
Come on!
Good morning, Tom. Nice shiner.
What happened to you?
Somebody obviously had enough.
Hope it wasn't his brother.
Did you speak to Josh?
You did talk to him, didn't you, Tom?
This guy's old school, he's not gonna fall for the sweet talk.
I can handle this, Dylan, trust me.
If they ask you about the shortfall?
I'll let you handle it.
And if they ask about the e-Symposium?
I was just shaking things up. I was trying to inject
a little salutary controversy the way
that an oyster needs a small bit of grit to make a pearl.
Believe me, I got this.
Mr. Barton will see you now.
Mr. Ogilvy's with him.
Shall I show you the way?
Thank you.
What a joy.
What a significant day.
The pleasure is all ours.
I'm a busy man to be sure,
but when the opportunity presents itself
to meet my friends at Landshark,
why, we clear our decks, so to speak.
Allow me to introduce my senior partner. Cyrus Ogilvy.
Cy? This is Miss Melanie Hanson.
It's a pleasure.
Mr. Dylan Gothschalk.
Mr. Thomas Sterling.
COO, CFO, CEO.
We're here today to seek a fuller partnership.
So that our futures
are separate but successful futures.
We'll be bound together
so that our happiness can become your happiness.
Happiness? Dear boy, I'm more interested in ROI.
I'm offering substantial happiness.
How substantial?
Very substantial.
40%.
At what price?
Market value.
Circumstances have changed over the past few days,
have they not? That offer no longer stands.
What were you expecting to pay?
Market value does not matter
because your stock trades by appointment.
To sell it, you need a willing buyer.
And your stock has no float.
But the real question is the board. We'll want control.
You're kidding, right?
What do you know about the Net?
What do you know about new technology?
Nothing. Not a fucking thing.
The way people communicate, the way people think,
the very nature of commerce is changing, and you're scared shitless.
You don't understand it, but you want in.
To be quite honest, Mr. Sterling,
we don't like your style.
We don't like the way you conduct yourself.
And though you seem to have fooled a lot of people,
we don't much like the way you conduct your business.
And since we don't particularly want to be in business with you,
you'd have to make it very much worth our while.
I was in Adam's House at Harvard,
so I made some friends.
And then Wharton, I made a few more,
and in South Hampton where we summer.
So, on the street, you could say
I have a lot of friends.
And they look to me for my opinion.
When I tell them, I tell them that we've looked
at the Landshark figures and we didn't see a future,
I don't have to say it loudly.
I have only to whisper it. Do you understand?
By the time your lockup ends,
you will own 500,000 shares D-listed paper.
You would dump your entire investment
because you don't like my style?
Why?
Because I can, Mr. Sterling.
Is that a threat?
That's just business.
It's what separates the men from the boys.
So why am I here?
We're interested in the future of Landshark.
But we're not interested in you.
There is no Landshark without me.
Au contraire. By our metrics, your company would be better off.
Miss Gilbo will show you out.
Wait.
Don't waste your time. Or ours.
But if I could just say one thing...
This is not a negotiation. This is our offer.
Miss Hanson, Mr. Gothschalk, your brother Joshua,
they'll stay with the company,
and we'll do everything within our power to keep the stock price high.
You will step down.
And you will relinquish all interest in the company.
We will take control of the board,
and we will buy your shares at 15 cents on the dollar.
Mr. Sterling.
You can take it or leave it.
We need your answer immediately.
My brother Joshua gets an employment contract?
Joshua Sterling will be well taken care of.
Okay.
You have yourself a deal.
Tom.
I'm fine.
Really I am.
Yeah.
This just in.
Singer and actress Aaliyah has been killed in a plane crash
over the Bahamas. According to sources...
Six in quarters.
Thanks.
Jackpot!
Oh, nice.
Hey, can I get the next one?
It's gonna be a while.
Jackpot!
Maybe we can...
me and you, maybe we can...
start...
build, you know.
Make... something.
Uh, like, together.
It's all over, Josh.
Let me shoot this one.
Nope.
The left flipper?
Jackpot!
See?
Jackpot!
Hmm!
Jackpot!
Are you kidding?
When did you get out of what?
Jackpot!